Make no mistake about it, the Hmong are a very resourceful people and perhaps it is this resourcefulnes s that will be our downfall as well. In every situation, where we have encountered a new race, a different culture or a new nation. We have not only adapted but have thrive, in most cases, only in a few generations.
Migrating to the US has been no different... here, we have thrive, living in all 50 states, having and raising children and our children having and raising the next generation of Hmongs. The main difference is that here in the US, Money and the pursue of wealth, has taken a front seat to everything else we hold true as Hmong values. Sure, we have seen this in the past, but it is nothing on a scale of this magnitude. Here, Money is the way and the only way... perhaps a trait we adapted from capitalism.
For anyone to see my point... let me give an example.
The Bride Price as practice from the old days, was meant to compensate the mother and father of the bride. Money given in exchange for the void and burden of losing a daughter, a compensation to the parents for all those years of having to feed and raise the daughter and to some extend, the bride price serves as insurance that the marriage will last.
Traditionally, when a couple divorces... fault is usually assigned, whether fair or just is another debate... But non the less, fault is assigned to the best of our ability and the assets of the marriage are divided accordingly.
The death of this man and this women, tragic as it may seem, could have been avoided. We stand at a cross roads, my Hmong people. This culture and the standards of this country are too strict for us to have it both ways... both Hmong values and American standards.
You either say only marriages that fall within lines of US standards are acceptable... by this I mean, be of legal age, non related, and there is no bride price. Or you say, fine you can married at 12, be related, and bride price must be paid... but when you divorce you cannot and must not involve the courts. Sounds extreme? Right... but that's how it has to be.
Don't just involve the rules and laws of this country when it suits you or only when you can benefit from it.