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Author Topic: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures  (Read 11459 times)

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Darksyde

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Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« on: May 21, 2015, 10:08:34 AM »
Stay tuned for the first episode sometime next week when Darksyde recovers from his hangover from this weekend and is able to coherently type it up on Pebhmong.

Laugh, cries and excitement await you as you immerse yourself in DARKSYDE'S DRUNKIN ADVENTURES!

*Keep in mind that I will never tell the stories of the tales from the weekend past due to the fact that stories need time to marinate before they can be told.  So with that said, these events are all from random times in my life.  All names have been changed to remain anonymous.  And don’t ask me how I am able to remember them.  I just do so enjoy.


« Last Edit: May 27, 2015, 11:32:23 AM by Darksyde »

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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2015, 10:27:48 AM »
LOL, I have to reply so I get notified :P



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Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2015, 11:37:39 AM »
So there I was…

It’s the six of us.  Most of us are out as usual to have a good time.  Tony has been eyeballing all the ladies in the establishment all night.  He’s totally bored with just hanging out and wants to make things interesting.  He looks over my way and starts pointing at the random ladies in the bar and asking me which ones I think are attractive.  He finally diverts my attention to the one standing by the pool table who is surrounded by her entourage of line backers.  She is obviously very pretty and wears glasses (which I think is very attractive on a lady).

Tony asks me, “What do you think bro?”

I let him know immediately that of course she’s pretty.  He asks me if he should go talk to her.  I tell him to go ahead if he wants try and get with her.  I see him go over there and converse with her.  He looks over my way with the two of them now looking at me.  I give him the bro thumbs up of approval.  I go back to chilling with the boys.  Several minutes later he links back up with us and tells me, “Bro; I told her that you totally think she looks pretty and asked her what she thought of you.  And she totally thinks you look cute and would like you to go over there and talk to her.”  Now I’m like, “Why the f**k did you tell her that?  I’m cool bro.  I’m just here to chill.”  The deed is done so now what.

Several minutes go by and I feel someone bump into me.  It’s her.  She passes me by as she walks over to the bar.  I now want to tell her that it’s nothing like that and my buddy was just messing around.  I avoid it for now and we go out back to the patio to do some shots and some toasts.  She comes out now with her entourage and their group gathers next to ours.  She approaches me and tells me, “You know; if you wanna talk me, you don’t have to be so shy about it.”  I’m quite speechless at this point and I don’t want to embarrass her.  My other buddy Roman saves the day as he pulls the classic “crotch block” move and starts talking to her.  The focus of us just hanging out has now changed to mingling with these ladies.

Time goes by and I still haven’t told her.  I leave it alone because most of my buddies have been trying to get with her.  She glances over my way from time to time but I figure, they can keep her company and I won’t have to worry about it.  In the meanwhile, I can hear her telling my guys about her sob story of her just breaking up with her man.  It’s a tear jerker (not really).  And Tony has pissed off the team of line backers by calling one of them a fat b!*ch.

The night is late and the bar is closing in a matter of minutes now.  Charlie wants the night to continue and nine people, including me, agrees.  He wants to know who has beers.  I offer my nine Heinekens that I have in my fridge but he laughs it off and says it’s not enough.  I figure; forget it and maybe I’ll just head home.  The guys are adamant I come along.  They are definitely keen on hanging out with these girls.  I’m just here for the show.  We go outside to our cars and Charlie comes over and says to follow him.  He’s found the after party.
 
Somehow now we have this Black chick and her buddies in our circle.  I figure, whatever and I follow everyone else.  It’s me and Chad in my car and I ask him if he knows where we are going.  He doesn’t know either.  We just roll.  We get to the place and I get out of the car immediately.  I’m wondering where the hell are we.  We are literally in the middle of nowhere.  The Black chick gets out and introduces herself to me and Chad.  We walk to the house together and I see the door open a crack.  A random dude peeps out the door and says nothing.  The Black chick tells him that it’s cool and that we are with her.  I’m thinking, “So that’s why we linked up with them.”  Everybody’s wondering where the girl with glasses went.  Her and her linemen are nowhere to be found.  We carry on and proceed into the house down a dark hallway.  We get inside and it’s a large group of very well dressed Black people standing around.  We look immediately odd with our group of one Asian guy, one Hispanic guy, two White guys and our very own one Black guy.  I’m like whatever and I follow our lead guy, Chad.  We move out to the back patio where there seems to a deep fryer going on.  Chad says, “It’s three in the g*dd**n morning.  Who the hell deep fries s*!t this late?”

Chad takes the tongs and plays with the food.  He pulls something out but we’re all unsure what it is.  One of the Black girls inside tells us that we aren’t supposed to be out in the back so we all go back inside.  Chad disappears and we go into the living room.  One of the girl hands me a beer.  We all take one.  I notice something very unusual now.  We are the only ones drinking and it also appears like no one else is drunk or has been drinking aside from us.  Chad reappears out of nowhere, gives me the look and tells me, “bro; it’s time to go.”  I give him the look back and I agree.  The exits are blocked but we gun for it anyways without saying a word.
 
We head back to my place and discuss the events that just transpired on the way home.  Thoughts of almost being gang-raped are running through my head.  I look over at my buddy and say, “bro; I don’t know about you but I’ve never sucked a stick before in my life!”  Chad laughs hysterically.  He reassures me that it’s probably not what I think but the place did seem like trouble.  I’m now worried for the guys and want to head back.  But it’s late and we can’t risk driving around in the middle of nowhere looking suspicious so we continue to my place.  The plan is to go back to the bar the next day hoping everyone will be there.  Tomorrow night comes but it’s just me and Chad there the whole night.  Tony finally shows up but tells us that he didn’t come along with us.  And no one is returning our calls.  We figure that if next Friday, we don’t see them at the bar; we are gonna have to take matters into our own hands.

Friday can’t come soon enough but now it’s there.  And I’ve been watching action films throughout the week to get myself pumped for what might come.  The three of us show up at the bar and sure enough, it’s Roman, Charlie and Will.  Roman immediately asks, “Where the f**k have you a$$holes been?”  I’m like, “I thought you guys were gang-raped.”  He laughs it off and says, “Nawh.  My a$$ is still intact but I’m not so sure about Will.”  We laugh and Roman looks at me and asks, “Round two?”


« Last Edit: June 03, 2015, 08:14:02 AM by Darksyde »

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234

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2015, 07:49:29 AM »
*subscribed



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2015, 08:09:02 AM »
I bet guys have some of the funniest drinking stories.   ;D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2015, 09:20:39 AM »
I'm going through my stories in my head right now and wondering which one I should tell next.  I can't tell you guys all the awesome ones right away, otherwise the later ones will be boring.  There should be a new one posted sometime either later today or tomorrow morning.  Stay tuned.



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Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2015, 09:32:17 AM »
Can I subscribe to your story too?

Only if you want to hear about the awesome things I do on my free time!



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Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2015, 09:38:12 AM »
I can use it on those nights of doing nothing. I might have a few to add.

Oh; you meant adding in some of your own stories.  Of course.  As a matter of fact, I would encourage everybody to contribute a crazy story if they'd like to share.  I enjoy hearing a good story just as much as I like telling them.



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2015, 10:30:45 AM »
No women do crazy stuff men just do exciting stuff. :2funny:



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2015, 02:38:40 PM »
We started to walked outside. Begging for them not to follow us because we were embarrassed because we drove a maum van there.

LOL!  Chicks who refer to their own van as a maum van; too funny.  :2funny:  I'd give you my comment of the day but VillianousHero already beat you to it.  Good short story overall.

Who's got more?



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2015, 02:49:53 PM »
Oh that story again.... :-X



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2015, 03:03:54 PM »
Why? Were you one of the guy? LOL
Nope, cuz I don't chase skirts to their getaway car.

Or maybe I be heard an identical story from someone else.



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2015, 03:41:01 AM »
I haven't told this story before.  ???
When drunk, all stories blend together.  :2funny:



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2015, 09:57:18 AM »
Alright kiddies.  Put your glue guns, strap-ons and toilet papers away.  It's story time with the Darksyde.



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Darksyde

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Re: Darksyde's Drunkin Adventures
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2015, 11:02:15 AM »
So there I was...

I'm at my buddy Chris' apartment.  Me and Chris have been hanging out together a lot lately and we've been going out about 3-5 times a week.  The night is just getting started so we're pregaming at his place as usual.  I bring over a 12 pack of Bud Light and we kill half of it and a quarter bottle of whiskey before going out.  Chris talks about going over to the college bar area tonight and I tell him I'm down.  We know we can't drive so we ask for George, Chris' roommate, to drop us off.  He does so and now we're there.

The 5-6 blocks of bars are packed as usual.  We immediately go about our way to fulfill our agendas.  Chris' agenda is to find his night's target of prey in which he hopes to do things that some of you ladies only hear about in porn movies.  Mines is to get super drunk and find ways of how I can make a fool of myself.  Business as usual.  So we start our night off at the shot bar.  A bar dedicated to purely shots only.  We've made this our little tradition to start our night off by picking each other's choice of drink for one another.  This bar in particular isn't new to us.  We've been here several times and they easily have over a hundred different types of shots.  But we both know what each other is getting for each other already.  The holy grail of all nasty shots: Suzy's A$$hole.  Why did they call it that?  I don't know.  Why did it have to be Suzy instead of Betty?  I don't know.  What I do know is that the shot is comprised of Bacardi 151, Tobasco sauce and Worchester sauce with a sprinkle of peppers.  And this is how we start our night off?  Yes.

We pound our shots and make our way to the bar-clubs.  We get inside and I get the first round.  Chris moves his way to the dance floor.  I follow behind.  He's doing his thing and talking to the ladies.  I'm doing my thing and I'm getting wasted.  I wingman from time to time when called upon.  Otherwise, I'm just looking to start the party.  Well, it looks like it's about to begin.  A dance circle breaks out.  I watch helplessly as college White and Black boys battle each other with played out B-boy and lame robot moves.  The dance circle has become the main attraction for the entire bar and the crowd is stirring.  I want in.  I move towards the center and Chris looks at me like a madman and says, "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"  I tell him, "Just watch."

I get in the circle and crowd looks and awaits my move.  I get in there and do my thing.  I give them the best running man I know how to give.  The entire bar uproars in laughter and I get some boo's.  Chris yells at me, "Dude.  Get out of there.  It's embarrassing!"  I don't care.  One of the Black guy does his whacked out version of a robot and gestures that I leave as he continues to ridicule me.  The Whites dudes join in on the action.  I like it.  And I finally decide to give the crowd what they want.  I bust out the pop and lock and change it up to some smoothly transitioned robotics.  The crowd is lit.  Nobody saw it coming.  The White guys are immediately intimidated and exit the floor quick.  The Black guys want to stick around and pull out their moves.  It's me versus 5 guys.  Like I said; I don't care.  Bring it.  We exchange back in forth for awhile and the I give the crowd something they've never seen before.  I give them some good old fashioned C-walk.  My footwork is quick and smooth.  The Black dudes try to mimic it but can't follow.  The crowd has declared me the victor.  The circle breaks and everyone goes about their ways.  I get approached by miscellaneous people asking me if I'm a Jabbawockie.  I reassure them that I'm not but they refuse to believe.  I get several free drinks and I feed my ego with random shots of whiskey and Rumplemintz.

My mind blanks out a bit and I drift off into space.  I look up and I'm standing out in front of a pretzel shop.  Where the hell was I for the past two hours?  Who knows but I know I got to pee.  I head inside and make my way towards the restroom.  A dude walks past me and I pay no mind.  He taps me and asks, "Koj puas yog Hmoob?"  I sober up instantly and respond with a hell yeah.  Of all places to find another kindred brother.  And here I thought I was the only one in the area.  We talk for a bit and exchange numbers.  He's got to go and so do I.  I do my business and head out.  I realized now that me and Chris have been separated for awhile.  It's getting late and the bars are about to close so I need to find him fast.  We link up and try to flag down cabs.  We get beat to the punch every time.  Minutes go by and we make the call.  We're walking.

The trek begins and we walk for what seems like hours.  With every step I can feel myself getting sober and sober.  I don't like it one bit.  I share stories from the dark side with Chris and he laughs.  We finally arrive at my place but Chris wants us to go back to his place.  I tell him I got beers inside.  He reminds me that there's still six beers at his place from earlier so I comply.  We continue walking.  We finally arrive at his place and I open the door.  It's unlocked as usual.  I immediately gun for the recliner and rock myself silly.  I holler at Chris to give me a beer and he tells me they're all gone.  George must have drank them all.  He's laid out on the couch, knocked the f**k out.  We turn on the TV and holler and scream.  We talk about our night and my dance battle.  And I finally begin to take notice.  I ask Chris, "Dude, did you guys get new furniture?  I didn't catch it earlier."  Chris looks at me and responds, "You're right dude.  I guess George must have swapped everything out."  He looks over at George and shakes him franticly screaming at him asking him if he had bought new furniture.  George is wasted and the best he can muster is a grunt.  Chris gets up and walks to the door.  He whispers at me to come to him.  What the hell is going on, I'm thinking.  Chris looks me dead in the eye and says, "Dude, this isn't my apartment."  Oh sh!t.  We've got to go fast and we do.  We gun out the door and when we get outside, we quickly realize that we had walked into the wrong apartment building.  Two drunk guys stumble into the wrong apartment?  That never happens right?

We get back to Chris' place and he's extremely relieved.  He looks my way and says, "Dude, we've could've gotten into some big trouble there if that dude had woken up."  I respond to Chris as I'm rummaging through his fridge, "Dude!  The beers are here!"



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