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Author Topic: penny for your thoughts  (Read 7589 times)

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SumTingWong

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penny for your thoughts
« on: June 22, 2015, 06:24:16 PM »
Boy meets girl... boy likes girl, boy loves girl and girl loves boy back. Boy wants to marry girl, girl's parents say... Hell NO!, You are a thug, our daughter is not for the likes of you. Boy pulls out gun, boy points gun to this chin, pulls trigger, entry wound. bullet exits top of head. Cause of death, massive head trauma and brain damage. Funeral this pass weekend in Fresno. True story....

Our choices are half chance at best right so... Does it really matter who your children marry?




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Offline theking

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2015, 07:29:35 PM »
No, it does not. As long as she's happy, and her happiness will bring me happiness too.



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Online Visualmon

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2015, 09:09:45 PM »
I don't care much about the old marriage tradition anymore. It creates and leads too many problems in the past and present day. It never ends. Like theking said, "gullible".

Quote
This is not the first time. I believed a few years ago, there was a similiar case in Sacramento/Fresno.
It happened in N. Cali too, Yuba & Marysville, Oroville, and Chico. It happens to most young teenagers getting themselves into relationship too early.



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Offline thePoster

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2015, 10:18:14 PM »
I mean really?  You're going to kill yourself over what one or two people say?

There is no need young folks!

You can still get married if the parents say no.   

I'll never understand it. 

If parents say no, you can still do it.   



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I went through all 15k posts and those 2 quotes I found were the only ones so I guess that would make it "everytime".  Feel free to go through all 15k posts and verify by quoting them all.  You need to quote them all to verifying prove "everytime".   Please verify that Im wrong.

LION HEART

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2015, 11:21:46 AM »
Boy meets girl... boy likes girl, boy loves girl and girl loves boy back. Boy wants to marry girl, girl's parents say... Hell NO!, You are a thug, our daughter is not for the likes of you. Boy pulls out gun, boy points gun to this chin, pulls trigger, entry wound. bullet exits top of head. Cause of death, massive head trauma and brain damage. Funeral this pass weekend in Fresno. True story....

Our choices are half chance at best right so... Does it really matter who your children marry?

Honestly, only people with children can answer this best.  For me, it doesn't matter who they marry but at the same time we want what's best for our children.  However, that doesn't mean that what we want is what's best.  This is why we have something called expectations.

As far as the person who died, I don't know his situation but he took extreme measures.  He had other means to accomplish his task of marrying the woman he loved but taking a gun to himself wasn't the way.  It doesn't solve anything. 

Besides, if I were the parents of the girl, I would have said, "We told you so.  Low life gun-toting thug killed himself before he could kill someone else.  Just be glad it wasn't you!"



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DRTYLUVN

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2015, 01:47:53 PM »
recently huh?
didnt even know this happened in fresno, usually the buzz finds its way around town but i guess it didnt get to me



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SumTingWong

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2015, 02:02:49 PM »
recently huh?
didnt even know this happened in fresno, usually the buzz finds its way around town but i guess it didnt get to me

The girl lives in N. Carolina... his body was shipped back to Fresno, his parents are Christian. Suicide is a big no no in Christian religion.



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DRTYLUVN

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2015, 03:51:07 PM »
oh that explains it now
it happened in NC and not here

thanks for the info



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LION HEART

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2015, 04:47:06 PM »

I'm going to squash down my compassionate side and just state my hard feelings.... so no offense to anyone, and this is definitely not condoning suicide or saying that the boy deserved it. I'm going to say that the boy made a very bad choice, and it's very unfortunate he made that choice but what's done is done. I don't believe blame should be parceled out in these sorts of circumstances, when someone would make such a finite, impulsive decision to end their life just because of one rejection. There are so many possibilities that could have been done to reverse the parent's decision, such as him improving his image by getting a great job or going to school, or proving to the parents that he can be steadfast and dependable, or even the daughter eloping with him. To be quite frank, someone who would do something like this might have done something worse in the future. What if he did get the parent's approval and they married and had kids but someday ran into money trouble or another crisis? Would he react in the same impulsive way and do something even worse to his wife and kids? To be honest it's a very bad decision making method. If I were the girl's parents, his suicide would only support my refusal, and I wouldn't want my daughter to be with someone who would go to extremes without first considering other, non-violent choices.

And yes, it does matter who your children marry.

Preach on!   O0



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mronline

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2015, 05:56:11 PM »
wow, this immoral stuff only happen back in the 80s.



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Special_K

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2015, 10:12:40 AM »
It has nothing to do with tradition and everything to do with stupidity! Grow some balls and grow up. He and She were not ready to get married and since we don't have detials of thier age, i'm going to assume they were both unemployed and young. Because if they were mature enough, they could have eloped and lived on thier own. Parents would eventually come around. End of story.

Oh and to answer your question.. NO it doesn't matter who my kids marry. In the end it'll be thier life. So be it if she or he marries a thug, low life etc.... I'll voice my opinions and also tell him or her what I think, but I'd never tell them who they can or can't marry.



« Last Edit: June 24, 2015, 10:15:05 AM by Special_K »

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Offline theking

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2015, 10:32:15 AM »
It has nothing to do with tradition and everything to do with stupidity! Grow some balls and grow up. He and She were not ready to get married and since we don't have detials of thier age, i'm going to assume they were both unemployed and young. Because if they were mature enough, they could have eloped and lived on thier own. Parents would eventually come around. End of story.

Oh and to answer your question.. NO it doesn't matter who my kids marry. In the end it'll be thier life. So be it if she or he marries a thug, low life etc.... I'll voice my opinions and also tell him or her what I think, but I'd never tell them who they can or can't marry.

Nailed it.  O0

For me, as long as my kid(s) are happy, that's all that matters..becau se at the end of the day, it is their life.

Also want to add that when I lived in Laos, there several suicide cases of both genders because of the parents refusal to let their kids marry who they love. There are also cases where the bride was forced to marry and then she commit suicide shortly after via opium overdose. So I agree with Special K that as parents, you do your best to guide your children but the ultimate decision should be theirs because it's their life.


« Last Edit: June 24, 2015, 10:37:10 AM by theking »

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SumTingWong

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2015, 11:48:52 AM »

I'm going to squash down my compassionate side and just state my hard feelings.... so no offense to anyone, and this is definitely not condoning suicide or saying that the boy deserved it. I'm going to say that the boy made a very bad choice, and it's very unfortunate he made that choice but what's done is done. I don't believe blame should be parceled out in these sorts of circumstances, when someone would make such a finite, impulsive decision to end their life just because of one rejection. There are so many possibilities that could have been done to reverse the parent's decision, such as him improving his image by getting a great job or going to school, or proving to the parents that he can be steadfast and dependable, or even the daughter eloping with him. To be quite frank, someone who would do something like this might have done something worse in the future. What if he did get the parent's approval and they married and had kids but someday ran into money trouble or another crisis? Would he react in the same impulsive way and do something even worse to his wife and kids? To be honest it's a very bad decision making method. If I were the girl's parents, his suicide would only support my refusal, and I wouldn't want my daughter to be with someone who would go to extremes without first considering other, non-violent choices.


And yes, it does matter who your children marry.

Insightful and brutally honest... I do agree with all your points. However, let me be the devil's advocate for a second and throw this out there.

We were all young once and who hasn't made a mistake when they were younger? Weren't we all irresponsible in our youth, at least to some degree? Who's to say this kid will always have this mentality? Who's to say there's not a fire in him that will someday burn so bright that it will change the world, had she married him?

As for the girl, if she can fall l in love with this boy knowing he was a unemployed gangster... what is there to stop her from making the same mistakes or decisions again? Maybe she is attracted to the loser type and will always gravitate towards destructive relationships?



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xkellyx

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2015, 01:05:30 PM »
To me, it really matters who my children will marry in the future. I don't care about status or wealth but their partner must not be a drop out, nor an aggressive person, smoke free, drug free, std free, and better be respectful.



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MeetSomeOne

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Re: penny for your thoughts
« Reply #14 on: June 24, 2015, 04:26:02 PM »
as a parent, i will do everything and anything in my power to lead the cow to the river, but certainly i will NOT make it drink if it does not want.  every parent want the best for their daughter to have a successful life, not necessary a happy one.  those who started life happily almost are NOT happy soon after the fact along the process.

if i was the boy, i would have accept the fact, continue on with my life and made BIG noise later both professionally and academically so that the gal's parents would be in jealous rage after the fact.  revenge/retaliation do "hurt"...



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