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Author Topic: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.  (Read 1360 times)

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Offline Hung_Low

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tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« on: January 07, 2016, 07:18:48 PM »
** Apple will come out with a new gadget exclusively for women later this year ... it's called the iRon.

** I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

** For me, Golf is a lot like women. If she isn't holding my wood, she better be holding an iron.

** Why do most home have a window above the kitchen sink? It gives women a point of view.

** Some mornings I wake up b1tchy; other mornings I let her sleep.

** Female Drivers; the reason people looks both way when crossing a one-way street.

** How many divorce men does it take to screw a light bulb? Who knows... they never get the house.

** What do beer bottles and women have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.

** How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Put nipple on it.

** Women always give 100% sound advice; 99% sound and 1% advice.

** God said to Adam, "I've given you everything you could ever want. Is there something else you would like?" Adam replied, "I would like a sandwich," to which God created Eve.

** Why is Alice in Wonderland when she should be in the kitchen.


« Last Edit: January 07, 2016, 09:46:14 PM by Hung_Low »

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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2016, 01:05:28 PM »
Refer to my responses...  :P

** Apple will come out with a new gadget exclusively for women later this year ... it's called the iRon.   Does a flat iRon count? ;D

** I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.  I actually like to do the dishes while jamming to my songs. :D

** For me, Golf is a lot like women. If she isn't holding my wood, she better be holding an iron.  I know what I'd be doing with an iron and wood. >:D

** Why do most home have a window above the kitchen sink? It gives women a point of view.  Many points of view...in my point of view. :P

** Some mornings I wake up b1tchy; other mornings I let her sleep.  Were those mornings involving no s*x....  ;D

** Female Drivers; the reason people looks both way when crossing a one-way street.  False.  I've seen men drive the wrong way as well. :P

** How many divorce men does it take to screw a light bulb? Who knows... they never get the house.  Because they don't deserve the house.  Hehehe :D

** What do beer bottles and women have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.  That's what men prefer. ::)  ;D

** How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Put nipple on it.  Is this from experience?  :D

** Women always give 100% sound advice; 99% sound and 1% advice.  Some people think that's better than nothing. ;D

** God said to Adam, "I've given you everything you could ever want. Is there something else you would like?" Adam replied, "I would like a sandwich," to which God created Eve.  What happened to Lilith?  :D

** Why is Alice in Wonderland when she should be in the kitchen.  Because she got lost in Wonderland.  ;D



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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2016, 07:56:40 PM »
What are the 3 faster form of communication?

1. Internet
2. Telephone
3. Tell a woman

What should you give a woman that has everything?
- A man to show her how to work it

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.
She says, "Look, its shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
He says, "Put it between your legs."
She says, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."




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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2016, 10:23:59 AM »
What are the 3 faster form of communication?

1. Internet
2. Telephone
3. Tell a woman. With some women, this may be true.  ;D  :P


A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.
She says, "Look, its shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
He says, "Put it between your legs."
She says, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."

I've already posted this one and my version was better.  ;D   :D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline Hung_Low

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2016, 09:28:18 PM »
What are the 3 faster form of communication?

1. Internet
2. Telephone
3. Tell a woman. With some women, this may be true.  ;D  :P


A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.
She says, "Look, its shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
He says, "Put it between your legs."
She says, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."

I've already posted this one and my version was better.  ;D   :D

- Let me be more clear on the first joke... Hmong women  ;D

- Let me hear your version...



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2016, 10:20:26 AM »
- Let me be more clear on the first joke... some Hmong women  ;D

- Let me hear your version... Mine was with names.   :P

Hung_Low and Trouble are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, Hung_Low gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.

Hung_Low:  Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?
Trouble:  Put it between your legs.
Hung_Low:  What about the smell?
Trouble:  Hold its nose.



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline lilly

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2016, 12:14:37 PM »
 O0



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Offline lilly

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2016, 12:55:54 PM »
On the way to lunch, Mr. Hung, a teacher at PebHmong Academy spotted Lilly and Troubles playfully fighting. He asked Troubles to go to the back of the line and she came back right after.

Why aren't you at the end of the line?" asked Mr. Hung.

Troubles, being the blond that she is, replied," I couldn't, TL was already there."

 :P :2funny:

 ;D



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Offline lilly

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2016, 12:56:25 PM »
Hung_Low and Trouble are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, Hung_Low gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.

Hung_Low:  Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?
Trouble:  Put it between your legs.
Hung_Low:  What about the smell?
Trouble:  Hold its nose.

LMAO!   :2funny:



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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2016, 05:14:40 PM »
Hung_Low and Trouble are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, Hung_Low gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.

Hung_Low:  Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?
Trouble:  Put it between your legs.
Hung_Low:  What about the smell?
Trouble:  Hold its nose.

 O0
But I have to question that smell between a man's leg. It's not like a dead fish... but a dead worm  8)

What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
- You come in one and go in the other

Boy ask, "Dad, is it true that in some Africa countries, man don't know their wife until they married her?"
Dad replied, " That happens in every countries, son."

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. He then created man and rested. Then he created women and ever since then, neither man nor God has rested.


« Last Edit: January 13, 2016, 05:25:39 PM by Hung_Low »

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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2016, 06:14:55 PM »
Your behind is down there as well.....maybe that's the odor I'm referring to.  ;D  :P

Actually, similarity between a woman and a coffin is you can come/go into both.  :D

A woman doesn't really know her husband neither until they are married, so I guess it's even.  >:(  ;D

Women need to keep men busy....otherw ise, they'd be bored out of their mind.  ;D  :P



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline tRouBLe

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Re: tRouBle... more sexist jokes.
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2016, 06:17:49 PM »
On the way to lunch, Mr. Hung, a teacher at PebHmong Academy spotted Lilly and Troubles playfully fighting. He asked Troubles to go to the back of the line and she came back right after.

Why aren't you at the end of the line?" asked Mr. Hung.

Troubles, being the blond that she is, replied," I couldn't, TL was already there."

 :P :2funny:

Was Mr. Hung's first name William?  :D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

 

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