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Author Topic: dating traditional insecure hmong women  (Read 10797 times)

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gunnerstahl

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #15 on: February 12, 2016, 04:55:37 PM »

Fear (fear of rejection, what people think, getting hurt, etc..) and insecurity (about the family, past, self, relationship, etc..) applies to all group young and old. 

Now if you are talking about npab nauj then yes probably applies to traditional folks more like npab nauj wear shorts in winter, below 0 temperature.  Npab nauj when you try to hold her hands but she "shy away" and giggling covering her mouth, npab nauj wash clothes in the kitchen sink..

or nab nauj eat pho without using fish sauce ahhahaha.. something like that.
I think it is partly that



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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2016, 09:16:55 PM »
O0

Why did you contact me and then blocked me from answering you?
Did I do something wrong?



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Offline floaty

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2016, 12:02:33 PM »
Here is a story:

Boy: I can't move out. I got to take care of my parents. Everyone will say I abandoned them.
Girl: I can't live like this. Your parents treat me like shlts. They lie to the whole world that I am a monster. When people see me, they give me the stink eye. I have never disobeyed your parents or mistreated them.
Boy: Don't listen to them. What matters is us. Not them. Don't listen to gossip. Just be yourself. Everyone will love you as much as I do.
Girl: ok. Because I know you have to take care of them, I'll be patient.

Mom: leave that no good monster wife you have. You are Hmong, I can buy you 10 wives.
Boy: ok mom.

You asked for a story.



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #18 on: November 02, 2016, 01:13:54 PM »
Here is a story:

Boy: I can't move out. I got to take care of my parents. Everyone will say I abandoned them.
Girl: I can't live like this. Your parents treat me like shlts. They lie to the whole world that I am a monster. When people see me, they give me the stink eye. I have never disobeyed your parents or mistreated them.
Boy: Don't listen to them. What matters is us. Not them. Don't listen to gossip. Just be yourself. Everyone will love you as much as I do.
Girl: ok. Because I know you have to take care of them, I'll be patient.

Mom: leave that no good monster wife you have. You are Hmong, I can buy you 10 wives.
Boy: ok mom.

You asked for a story.

 :2funny: 



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Shortstuff87

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2017, 09:27:06 PM »
I've dated an insecure non-traditional hmong man. I can't deal with the insecurities, even when I was around him the majority of the time he still thinks I'm cheating or trying to get with someone else. After 8 months of that BS, I ended things. ::) ::) :idiot2: :idiot2:



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nooneever

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2017, 10:38:29 AM »
These are my favorite type of women, it means I have less to do in order to break them down.  Back in college a girl I was seeing thought I was talking to other women from another school.  Whenever I didn't call her back she would text me accusing me of being with other women.  Well, for the most part she was right.  How do girls do that?

One day she confronted me at home and wouldn't leave until I gave her a straight answer.  I told her that I am at a low point in life and that my affairs were my way of asking for help.  If she didn't want to be with me at my lowest then she doesn't deserve me when I'm at my highest.

She left me about an hour after that, because what kind of self respecting woman wouldn't?



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captian

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #21 on: March 02, 2018, 02:12:08 PM »
anyone ever have this problem? tell me your story. insecure about their past their family and always think the hmong community will think something about them or what they do. never want to just be open and honest / show who they are when its not a big deal to the rest of us. <moved>
dang bro, you just explained yourself.  :2funny: :idiot2:



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Offline lilly

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #22 on: August 11, 2020, 12:53:22 PM »
Not a story but a thought.  Everyone has insecurities.  There are many things that make a person insecure.  Fear of being judged.  Fear of failure.  Fear of not living up to one's full potential.  Fear of not meeting one's own personal goals. Etc.

OK, here's a story.  I was once insecure about how other people thought of me.  I used to be somewhat traditional in my thinking because I grew up with all the traditional mindset teachings about being a good Hmong girl / about being a good Hmong nyab/ about being a good Hmong wife.  But a lot of the traditional mindset instilled in us was just a trap to keep us under a certain control, to suppress us so we continue to be submissive and do as we're told, and to stay in our lane as traditional Hmong women.  As I grew up, I realized people's opinions do not matter.  The people that love me will love me regardless because they know I am a good person and they believe in me.  I don't need to care or worry about anyone else because if they judge me then they don't know me or care about me.  So why should I care what anyone thinks if they don't love me and if they don't pay my bills.  A lot of Hmong women over extend themselves and go above and beyond to maintain an image because they care about their and their family's reputation.  Hmong women need to change their paths and ways of thinking.  Because being insecure and fearful of what others think of you is such an unnecessary burden, and it's too much of a weight to carry on your shoulders.  Just know who you are, believe in yourself, be a good person and help others when you can, and live your best life.  Break from and through the traditional mindset barriers that keep us from living an authentic, uninhibited life, that keep us from being who we truly are and being who we are capable of being.  No one knows the stress you're under on a daily basis, no one knows how sad you are behind closed doors, how much you have to do but you.  Don't let anyone take up space in your mind so much such that you allow them to cripple your personal happpiness and joy.  At the end of the day, you answer to yourself.  Only care about the people who truly love you and those people's opinions.  As long as you are a good person and are not hurting anybody, be happy with yourself.  Get rid of unnecessary insecurities and fears, get rid of the traditional mindset that holds you back from living your best life and enjoying your life to the fullest.


« Last Edit: August 11, 2020, 01:50:15 PM by lilly »

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Offline lilly

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #23 on: August 11, 2020, 01:32:10 PM »
My post up there was more about the general insecurities and fears that chain Hmong women down.

If you're talking about gossiping and the act of freely saying what's on one's mind, then that's a different story.  There are insecure women/people that gossip and talk a lot of trash about others because they have a lot of personal insecurities, and gossiping and talking trash is their way to boost their self-esteem.  These women/people are actually not secure, rather, they are projecting and drama-loving, and are insecure in themselves.

Then you have the women/people that have discretion.  They know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate to say.  It's not that they are insecure.  They are smart, thinking individuals who know that words matter and are careful to say only things that are worth saying.  These types of women/people are actually attractive because it shows they are discerning and mature, thoughful people.  Their confidence is not shown through spreading gossip or always saying what's on their minds with no filters, but knowing when to say things and whom to say things to.



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Offline lilly

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #24 on: August 11, 2020, 01:40:34 PM »
Being articulate and outspoken is another matter too.  A person can have discretion but if they are not articulate or outspoken, they are unable to share or speak their thoughts.  Not everyone is born being super articulate or outspoken.  Many things affect whether someone is articulate/outspoken or not.  Some people are smart as hell but they are just shy or reserved people.  Others just don't have the confidence to speak up, while some others don't have the vocal pipes or volume to get their voices heard over the loud/obnoxious ones.  Lol



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Offline Visualmon

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Re: dating traditional insecure hmong women
« Reply #25 on: August 13, 2020, 05:37:28 PM »
Being articulate and outspoken is another matter too.  A person can have discretion but if they are not articulate or outspoken, they are unable to share or speak their thoughts.  Not everyone is born being super articulate or outspoken.  Many things affect whether someone is articulate/outspoken or not.  Some people are smart as hell but they are just shy or reserved people.  Others just don't have the confidence to speak up, while some others don't have the vocal pipes or volume to get their voices heard over the loud/obnoxious ones.  Lol

I was both articulate and outspoken when I was young.  :D :P

I remember my freshmen year of HS. Asian buddies of mine, Laotian and Mien, bet me if I can talk to a group of Hmong girls inside the library by myself. So I took the bet. Actually all I did was mumbling my words out of my mouth and made the girls laugh. They have no clue what the heck I was saying. I turn back and saw my buddies frown on the behalf of my failure. To my surprise it isn't a failure. It's more like a prompt success. After lunch period, one of the girls and I walk pass by each other. She stare at me all the way where I walk toward to my locker room near my fifth period aka world history class. I realize my so called natural confidence turn her on ever since we met in the library. "It's not the words that matter, it's the performance that matters to make girls feel comfortable."  ;)



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