The Bride Price...Again

[zena]

Btw, you can't sense the uncomfortablen ess about the price conversation between these wives?  The convo doesn't have to be exactly like what I made up...just something along those lines.  I know it was a silly convo, but you see how odd that would be?  Wives talking about how much each other was paid for.  That is so wrong and weird and backwards. 

Makes for a good story though.  Maybe I'll put it in one of my stories.

[nightrider]

Those of you whom was brought up in the Christian way will never see reason or purpose but will just equate to slavery. If people like you can't conform when your son loves a nonchristian, we mind as well have prejudice and segregation. 

Weird? How is that any different from buying a rock. People whom believes this western system are like what Donald Trump describes as being so disgusting and sick minded for supporting this blood diamond trade. 

[bulbasaur]

What?  Did you not see ALL your points get rebutted?  I even quoted them and gave the rebuttal right afterwards.   

You missed the point on "the wedding ring analogy."  I shouldn't be surprised because you missed ALL your points getting rebutted. 

Who said you were materialistic?  No one here said that you were.  Whether or not you are materialistic has no bearing on the issue at hand.  However, now that you brought it up, it is odd that you are fixated on how much things cost....

Interesting.  No good rebuttals, so this means, I'm glad you agree. 

As for the wedding band, I was the breadwinner at the time so I paid for husband's and mine.  I also paid for my wedding ring but had to sell it when times got tough.  On our 10th wedding anniversary, husband got me a new 3-stone ring to remember that we made it past the 10th mark.  He marked the moment with a new watch for himself that cost a little more than my ring.  I didn't go with something expensive. I went simple because I wanted to just remember that we worked hard and we worked together to be where we're at today.

I'm not the materialistic person you might think I am.

[bulbasaur]

So you want to base decisions in the world based on a silly imaginary conversation?  Anyways...

What is "weird and backwards" is not the same for everyone.  Going into a building and kneeling down in front of a guy every week is "weird and backwards" to some people, but I still support people's right to go to church. 

If the bride price is not for you, that's fine.  However, to tell people that they are wrong in doing so and using the reasons you gave, that's just illogical.  You might as well start banning all flavors of ice cream instead of the one you like best. 

Btw, you can't sense the uncomfortablen ess about the price conversation between these wives?  The convo doesn't have to be exactly like what I made up...just something along those lines.  I know it was a silly convo, but you see how odd that would be?  Wives talking about how much each other was paid for.  That is so wrong and weird and backwards. 

Makes for a good story though.  Maybe I'll put it in one of my stories.

[bulbasaur]

And it probably sounds weird to some people who say, "Look my husband paid 2 months salary for this ring."  Look at it, it's just a rock. 

It does sound weird when someone said "My husband paid 10g for me."

[bulbasaur]

I am in the camp that thinks people can choose whether or not to continue practicing the bride price.  I just think it is not okay for one side to claim the bride price is slavery.  That is not only demeaning to the people who practice it, but it is also demeaning to actual slaves.  If you rather go spend $5k on a rock, then go ahead.  Traditionalist s rather give the $5k to the bride's family.  Why is your rock more significant than their goodwill?  If anything, giving $5k to the family is a bit more selfless and practical; you can't eat a rock.   

Those of you whom was brought up in the Christian way will never see reason or purpose but will just equate to slavery. If people like you can't conform when your son loves a nonchristian, we mind as well have prejudice and segregation. 

Weird? How is that any different from buying a rock. People whom believes this western system are like what Donald Trump describes as being so disgusting and sick minded for supporting this blood diamond trade.

[Reporter]

Another argument that fails is this: the bride price is a dowry.

[Reporter]

Bride price is boring. I wanna talk about.... The groom price!!! 

 

[Reporter]

Zaubqaub.com is tabloid. So don't take its articles to be too credible on its news.

The Council isn't quite over the bride price yet. Its attempted order to cap it at 5K isn't well-taken by many, as Hmong continue to climb the academic ladder each year.  There are still unenforceable variations. But then the Clan has no  power to enforce its policies other than to have each family keep grudges against their in-laws for future enforcement of any agreement or otherwise.

With this GLBT movement and the U.S. Supreme Court's order on the freedom of marriage, we'll see how the 18 Clan deals with issues such as the groom price, intra-clan marriage, same-sex weddings, etc.

Reporter, from your name I assume that you are a man of news sense. Are there any updates about this groom price? I always wondered what the 18 Council decided on.

[lexicon]

Hm. So can I ask why the 18Council exists if it has no way of enforcing its own policies?

A governing body, made for us and by us, I suppose.

I don't believe they have any real legislative powers. They have acted as liaisons and arbitrators in the past.

[lexicon]

The key word here is "governing" because they aren't really *governing* anything if they don't have the power to enforce policies.

Also if they only serve as liaisons and arbitrators, then they have no right to write up policies that they then say that Hmong people should use as guidelines.

Semblance. Appearance. The perception of power is just as important if not more so than the possession of any actual powers to govern. I'm only assuming here of course.

As far as enacting certain policies, they were quick fixes to fundamental problems.

[Reporter]

That is a question for them.

I am not against the Council. I am just saying it has no power to enforce its policies because we live under another country's laws.

Hm. So can I ask why the 18Council exists if it has no way of enforcing its own policies?

[SummerBerry]

That is a question for them.

I am not against the Council. I am just saying it has no power to enforce it policies because we live under another country's laws.

People followed their policies because we still have a bunch of cov laus around then it like they would enforced whatever 18 clans is saying .....  They take that into consideration and then the other party will most likey do it.  We got to blamed everyone for their part. Havent we been doing this for centuries or take on the practice off them Hmong Laus.....  Zoo thiab phem lo thaum muaj zoo li no sawvdlawg yeej ua li 18 xeem hais koos zoo nkauj xws. 

Cov es hais lawv niam thiab txiv tsis asked for nqi tau haus rau lawv tus ntxhais mam dag tshaj.  Yog niam txiv Hmoob txhua tus yeej ua.  Leej tus los yeej xav tau 5-7k.  Cov niam txiv es tsis tau mam yog lawv cov ntxhais yuav lawv haiv neeg.  Yog tau qab tau haus yog tus ntxhais hais tau nws tub hlaus nraug ua xws.  Ib txhij tseem yog tus ntxhais thiab hlaus nraug save uake to do it. 

[Reporter]

How did the Council resolve the Pajnyiag Yang funeral issue case?

People followed their policies because we still have a bunch of cov laus around then it like they would enforced whatever 18 clans is saying .....  They take that into consideration and then the other party will most likey do it.  We got to blamed everyone for their part. Havent we been doing this for centuries or take on the practice off them Hmong Laus.....  Zoo thiab phem lo thaum muaj zoo li no sawvdlawg yeej ua li 18 xeem hais koos zoo nkauj xws. 

Cov es hais lawv niam thiab txiv tsis asked for nqi tau haus rau lawv tus ntxhais mam dag tshaj.  Yog niam txiv Hmoob txhua tus yeej ua.  Leej tus los yeej xav tau 5-7k.  Cov niam txiv es tsis tau mam yog lawv cov ntxhais yuav lawv haiv neeg.  Yog tau qab tau haus yog tus ntxhais hais tau nws tub hlaus nraug ua xws.  Ib txhij tseem yog tus ntxhais thiab hlaus nraug save uake to do it.

[Reporter]

If your mom and dad don't charge a bride price for your sister, can the Council require it to be paid?

People followed their policies because we still have a bunch of cov laus around then it like they would enforced whatever 18 clans is saying .....  They take that into consideration and then the other party will most likey do it.  We got to blamed everyone for their part. Havent we been doing this for centuries or take on the practice off them Hmong Laus.....  Zoo thiab phem lo thaum muaj zoo li no sawvdlawg yeej ua li 18 xeem hais koos zoo nkauj xws. 

Cov es hais lawv niam thiab txiv tsis asked for nqi tau haus rau lawv tus ntxhais mam dag tshaj.  Yog niam txiv Hmoob txhua tus yeej ua.  Leej tus los yeej xav tau 5-7k.  Cov niam txiv es tsis tau mam yog lawv cov ntxhais yuav lawv haiv neeg.  Yog tau qab tau haus yog tus ntxhais hais tau nws tub hlaus nraug ua xws.  Ib txhij tseem yog tus ntxhais thiab hlaus nraug save uake to do it.