The Bride Price...Again

[SummerBerry]

How did the Council resolve the Pajnyiag Yang funeral issue case?

Her case from what I asked my parent last week when they were in town.  Nothing the council can do about it because the ex-husband refused and won't say anything.  The council just need to know they can tried all they want but they are forgetting that the American laws is more powerful and that everything the ex-husband has done evil/cruel/etc.  he has the rights. 

[SummerBerry]

If your mom and dad don't charge a bride price for your sister, can the Council require it to be paid?

Nothing the council say or do is going to enforced if no one want to follow or do it.  Remember that most Hmong niam txiv as long as it is a Hmong custom then most already followed the standard.  If they make it hard it is where some would walk out.  Still as niam txiv Hmoob leejtwg los yeej yuav hais nqi tau haus.  Tus ntxhais laib, tsis txim txaj, ran away, pregnant, etc.  One of my husband cousin met a ran away girl all the way from WI while he is in CA.  When they reached out to the father........ ..he told them you don't need to come all the way up to WI to do the wedding.  I have a relative in Fresno and you guy can just go there and he will send me the $$.  The truth her own father was so sick and tired of her that he was glad someone her of his hand.  Later my aunt father visited and told us that the reason why her father made it so easy that way is because lawv hais tsis tau lawv tus ntxhais tau tseem yau yau. 

In my husband side they are still 90% tseem ua qab kevcai........ ..good or bad they follow every custom and the amount set.  Recently when they say $1200 is what it should be to mus hais nyab rau los tsev tom niam tais thiab yawj txiv.  My bil did even though he in the past has went from anywhere like $200-400.  Same old problem over and over again.  When my bil did $1200 my sil still refused to come back home.  Nyob nyob ob peb hli nwg los nwg tus nkeej. 

Do you realized that Hmong council crap just put you guy in a bad spot while it make pojniam Hmoob muaj plau dlau right or wrong because you guy are getting on your knees to beg.......... Qhov no mam tsis different from the Meskas txoj cai who set standard for child support, spousal support, etc.  ua rau pojniam tau zoo nyob thiab noj because they benefits so much.  Pojniam in general don't lose $$$.  It just the matter if they can get it or not and battle it out for years and then give in........

I respect Hmong culture and custom but I hate everything we do something because it is all about face. 

[nightrider]

If it's not about saying face, honor, respect, integrity, and so on... People are just a bunch of shameless animals. Those of you whom thinks it don't matter; may want to think again. Having y'all heard about that prof. at the University of Concordia(Hmong culture expert) whom not too long ago(maybe just a month earlier) decides to forego his own mother's funeral proceeding expeditiously to mere hours? Has generated many criticism among the community especially those that known him. For someone whom was supposed to know Hmong Culture and History, this dude did the un-thinkable. His own father's funeral was lavish but his mother was as if a dog past away. All for convenience & saving $$$?... No one respects a scholar whom has no respect for his own mother and relatives.

Whether it's saving face or having a set price figure for brides, they all matter and have a important purpose.