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Author Topic: letitbenonmundane  (Read 67736 times)

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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #225 on: July 23, 2021, 02:09:51 PM »
A little over a month left before school starts back up.  Summers are so friggin short!  Especially when you're so friggin busy all the time doing not fun things.  Hopefully this resort calls me back because I want so bad to take my kiddos there before they have to go back to school.  I love my babies.  God, please always watch over and protect my babies.  Always.  Please.  Thank you.

He fishes so much I've made a habit of asking, "Did you go fishing today?"  LOL.  The other day his response was, "Are you kidding?  The water is 2 inches.  It's so dry, there's no fish."  Poor baby.  Last night I tried to teach him how to play texas holdem.  LOL.  I totally forgot how to play it.  It's been years.  I dealt him 5 cards and dealt myself 5 cards.  He was like, "Waaait a minute... you don't know how to play."  So, he googled how to play and we played a few hands.  He beat me, of course.  LOL.  I left early for work this morning (he was still sleeping) so I went in to kiss him bye.  He said, "I love you, Honey.  Have a great day.  Be safe."  It's been so long since I've felt like I mattered to someone in this way.  I'm thinking that I love him on a deeper level now.  I feel my love for him growing stronger every day.  Please, god, always watch over him and protect him.



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #226 on: August 20, 2021, 04:16:43 PM »
The kids and I had a great time on our trip.  We did so much.  I cooked a lot on this trip.  Usually we just eat out but the place we stayed at had a kitchen so I made Uncle Ben's rice, sausages, stir-fry, bacon, eggs.  It was nice to have a kitchen and to be able to have hot food. 

Our first night there I made a bonfire and the kids and I roasted marshmallows.  A man came and sat on one of our chairs and started talking to us.  That was so rude!  He was super nosy and asked where we were from and everything.  I was so annoyed.  Made me miss having a man around to ward off idiots like that guy.  Next time M will be coming with us on our trips.

The kids enjoyed swimming in the pool at the hotel, the nice sandy beach, and playing mini golf. 

I do want to do one more trip while the weather is still warm, before fall comes.  We shall see if it happens.

I can't believe school is starting in less than 2 weeks again!  It's insane!  Where did the time go?  I can't believe how fast this summer went by!!!

M and I only went on 4 motorcycle rides this summer.  A drastic drop from last summer's 20+.  I've been super busy with my house.  The inside is almost done to how I want it.  Next is the outside.  My yard needs work.  I want to cut down the huge trees in my backyard so I have more sun to grow veggies.  We shall see if I get to tree cutting next year.  So many things to do being a home owner!  It never ends.  It sucks.  I still have to fix my deck railing, put new doors inside the house, install lights, etc.

Congratulation s to my cousin and his wife on their recent marriage.  Congratulation s to another awesome couple on their wedding too!  I told M how happy I was for the couples and their decisions to get married.  I told him that marriage, to me, symbolizes a strong commitment to one another.  How are people so sure that they want to be with each other forever?  And that I want that for myself as well: to be sure about somebody.  He was a little offended.  He was like, "You aren't sure about us?  Don't I show you true love?"  I felt bad.  I quickly told him, "Oh, yes, Honey, I feel your love.  I know we love each other."  I think having gone through one failed marriage it makes me a little jaded.  It's like I'm not wondering if people will break up but when.  I feel like I've become so cynical.  A non-believer in true, everlasting love.  I've experienced it and thus know and conclude, that love is super fragile.  The two people have to work at it every day.  It's like a fire that can go out.  You always have to tend to the fire, add more fire wood, to keep the flames burning.  While the fire is glowing strong, it's a beautiful sight to see.  But people have to remember to tend to the fire... But for me, though, when the fire goes out or when something starts to go wrong, my attitude is, "Oh well, time for bed!"  I give up quickly.  I don't want to spend the energy.  I feel like, "If it's going to be too much work, forget it.  Been there, done that, don't wanna waste my time."  But then M is always like, "Honey, it's so much easier to give up and be alone than to make a relationship work.  Relationships are hard.  But true love is the goal.  I want forever with somebody.  I want forever with you."  And thus, I'm like "Awww... OK, Honey, I love you too."  LOL.

I love my M.  He gives me butterflies still.  But why is it that I'm such a disbeliever in true love now?  It's not like true love is impossible.  It is very possible.  I know many couples that are still on their first marriage.  They are still together.  I also know those couples don't always get along.  They have disagreements.  I'm sure the fire has burnt out a few times but they lit it back up.  And they lit it back up because they both want to keep their marriage going.  They have kids together, they've built a life together... why give all that up?  That is good for the couples that keep up with their marriages and stay together.  I do want to find that too.  To find somebody who realizes that we'll have ups and downs but during the downs, we don't stop loving each other... we keep going.  I feel I may have found that with M.  He wants to make it last with me.  I do hope we last too.  I'm just very dubious when it comes to true love now.  I feel like love is fleeting and it changes day to day.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow.  So... we'll see... only time will tell how the story ends for this cynical girl who has lost so much trust in the probability of lasting love.


« Last Edit: August 20, 2021, 04:26:44 PM by lilly »

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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #227 on: September 02, 2021, 02:14:37 PM »
Kids are in school again.  Surreal.  Three months is such a short a** time. 

Anyway, I love my neighbors.  They are really cool.  My neighbors on the left are walking my son and their daughter to their bus stop in the mornings.  They have been such nice neighbors.  Both neighbors on each side of me are very nice.  They are the same age or are close to the same age as me and their kids are around the same age as my kids too--that's cool.  The neighbor on the right asked me if I wanted to borrow their lawn mower when I was struggling with my lawn mower that one time.  I love that there are a lot of home owners around my age living in my neighborhood.  My neighbor on the left says that that's their forever home and that's where they will retire.  I feel the same way about my house too.  It'll be nice to grow old with my neighbors.

My kids' schools are really nice.  They still look new.  Well-designed and looks super modern on the insides.  Their schools were the main reasons why we moved to our current house. 



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Offline lilly

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« Last Edit: October 19, 2021, 04:01:26 PM by lilly »

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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #229 on: October 20, 2021, 07:45:03 PM »
I was searching for Hmong songs that were--from beginning to end--truly, genuinely of the highest quality.

These were some of the best, quality Hmong songs I was able to find (my most favorites in bold):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=210CEb7It2w - Txiv Lub Xim Xaus - Maa Vue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEwsnYotRjc - Koj Nyob Qhov Twg - cover by Lor Chang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVa7MZliwN8 - Koj - The Sounders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOdLNKSwIQQ - Nag Hmo - Thai Sounders
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTHbyD6xzFk - Lub Sijhawm - Kristine Xiong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7nd6JTGbrM - Sib Hawm Dhau - Deeda/Dib Xwb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDM6YQ46qgE - Yog Los Mas - Zong Pha Xiong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJA2gRpTAIU - Nco Kuv Me Me - Kaishek Vang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xjHm8HlVCI - Sij Hawm Tig Tsis Tau Rov Qab - Huas Ham
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrDR9yKoj34 - Mi Noog - Suddenrush
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5TMTEwqYak - Mi Noog - cover by Lor Chang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTqKG06VzW4 - Daim Nplooj Ntoos - Suddenrush
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bscjHSAvSIA - Cov Huab Iab Oo - Suddenrush
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWIDsoK6fys - Noj Peb Caug By Yaya Moua & Yaying Yeng Moua
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A153dvF_kqQ - Me Leej Nus Toj Siab - Paj Huab Ham
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=132ohDF6zt4 - 1000 Miles - Thai Sounders
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSMCpn9ctFw - Mus Zoo Koj - lightofday ft. Sua Yang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzZyMnmYf1o - Ntuj No Tuaj Lawm - Ntxawg Vaaj


Honorable mentions:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnFsZPnEEjE - Ib Sim Neej - High Voltage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gabrNg1dtJA - Yog Siab Xav Ib Yam - Xanakee
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImIax6ZpQfY&list=PLAFB112BE1632AA3B&index=17 - Txhua Lub Sijhawm - Whyteshadows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExAPi2YlxfY&list=PLD165D2FD855F05C1&index=7 - Nco Nco Koj - Lue Vang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl0pwtuPMfU - Hluas Nkauj Hmoob - Destiny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYbNuQfRt78 - Luag Leej Tub - Yasmi and Dib Xwb



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #230 on: October 20, 2021, 07:52:31 PM »
OK, this should have been one of the bolded songs (it's so, so beautiful!!!):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49eECL_1cuU - koj nyob qhov twg (ntuj no tuaj lawm) - Proto-J x Forthe Dimenshon



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #231 on: October 21, 2021, 08:11:39 AM »
I'm a fan of the hmong oldies and Touly is my guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23nphj86GxI&ab_channel=BaxterYang

and Thai, this one is my best guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVRen1XYX14&list=PLqAodd8BoCOkZ6y4otDJVg-2CdhV2yMAo&index=10&ab_channel=GMMGRAMMYOFFICIAL

FYI, me no understand Thai....hahaha .  I wonder why the tears in his eyes and why he jumped at the end?

They are my best :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*


« Last Edit: October 21, 2021, 08:14:23 AM by Dok_Champa »

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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #232 on: October 26, 2021, 10:51:05 AM »
I'm a fan of the hmong oldies and Touly is my guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23nphj86GxI&ab_channel=BaxterYang

and Thai, this one is my best guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVRen1XYX14&list=PLqAodd8BoCOkZ6y4otDJVg-2CdhV2yMAo&index=10&ab_channel=GMMGRAMMYOFFICIAL

FYI, me no understand Thai....hahaha .  I wonder why the tears in his eyes and why he jumped at the end?

They are my best :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Cool!  Thanks for sharing, Dok_Champa!  I like the Thai language too, and I wish I understood Thai as well.  So many languages to learn and only one lifetime.  For now, Hmong and English will have to do.  :)



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #233 on: October 27, 2021, 12:16:07 PM »
Can't wait to see him.  I miss him so much.  He left last Wednesday and will be home in a few hours.  He's stressed about his parents.  We shall see what happens in the near future.  His son and I are in MN and his parents are in FL.  Good thing his job is FT remote--he can work from anywhere with an internet connection.  But I can't leave MN because my job is not remote and his son can't leave because his son's mom is in MN.  I wish his parents would agree to come back to MN so I can help too.  But they like the low taxes FL offers.  Plus, his aunt and uncle are also down there.  If his parents left FL, there would be no one left in FL with his aunt and uncle.  This has made me think about my future retirement plans.  My kids will probably stress about me when I get old and sick too if they are not in the same state as me.  I guess I'll retire wherever my kids are.



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #234 on: November 16, 2021, 03:00:11 PM »
If you haven't seen the movie "Oblivion", you're missing out.  It's such a good movie.  Watched it twice already.  Going to find time to watch it again.  I'm also in love with the credit song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP7oquUeV_0



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #235 on: December 23, 2021, 03:35:19 PM »
A few weeks ago I went through boxes that had in them old things, very old things from my past.  “Out of sight out of mind” is a very true phrase.  I don’t recall every moment of the past as I live each day in the present, as most of us do.  Perhaps later in life when I am older, my mind might go in search of days past and reminisce over the times of my youth.  But at current, I really couldn’t remember the things or events in my life that happened so long ago.  That is, until… I opened up those boxes.

I guess I kept some old things.  Many items still in their same shape and some were covered in dust.  But no matter, touching each item was like a play button.  Memories from the past flashed in front of me all of a sudden, projected on an invisible movie screen, and I recall vividly, each moment, each feeling as I held each piece of memorabilia in my hands.  Kinda bitter sweet to relive certain memories. 

Some items brought back joy and happiness and others gave me these pangs of sadness, feelings of regret and pain.  But each held their significance and I struggled with what to do with the items.  Just throw away?  Yes?  No!  I couldn’t! Oh, but yes!  Just throw away!  You don’t need these old things!  Why would you?  So, a lot of them went into the trash.  I kept a few.

Some things I threw away:
-   This pair of hot pink curved metal earrings.  I remember wearing those with dress shirts and skirts.
-   Necklaces from Jamaica.
-   Random notebooks from school.
-   School awards and certificates.
-   Address books that had names, addresses, and phone numbers of people I barely remember anymore.

Things I kept:
-   Old journals.
-   Old pictures.



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #236 on: December 29, 2021, 05:05:03 AM »
I was alone on Christmas.  My kids were with their dad for Christmas and my lover was in FL with his parents.  It was nice to be alone for a day but on the second day, I realized I was human.  I do need to be around other people.  What will I do when the kids are all grown up and they both move out and if I don't have a partner?  So, it got me thinking that I should have a partner in my old age.



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #237 on: December 29, 2021, 05:16:54 AM »
Speaking of being alone.  There was a time when people felt lonely they could go out in public to the movies and to the malls, but now people can't even freely do those things anymore (without some level of fear) because of covid.  When do you think life can go back to normal again, like to the times before covid?  God!  It's so depressing to think that we can never go back to the pre-covid days.

Life is forever altered and changed.  Makes me so pissed at the dumbazzes who won't get vaccinated or wear a mask.  All the stupid idiots prolonging the suffering for everyone else.  Eff all the azzwholes!  Some people have low-level animal brains!  I'm so mad at all the idiots.



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #238 on: January 13, 2022, 12:10:35 PM »
I feel an acute melancholy feeling when I think about and see the stark contrast between real life and the life that I wish I could have.  I wish I could easily leave the 21st society behind and go live in the wild, in the woods, and be one with nature.  It would be so awesome to block out all of the noise of the modern world and go and live in a cabin in the woods that is next to a stream or a creek. I could grow my own vegetables and raise my own pigs and chickens.  How nice it would be to not be concerned about the goings-on of the world, to act as though instagram, facebook, or modern technology exist only in a distant galaxy.  To truly live in the woods safely, peacefully, blissfully, separate from society.

But, I am jolted back to reality when I realize I cannot have that dream.

Anytime I want to live the life of my dreams in my head, though, I listen to this song and it takes me straight there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvvQb7zTh6E.


« Last Edit: January 13, 2022, 12:12:37 PM by lilly »

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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #239 on: January 13, 2022, 06:02:12 PM »
Like this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sGadrkS2PM&ab_channel=TheCottageFairy

I'm too chicken.  At night, my mind would wonder too much.  BUTTTTT if I have a warm body next to me, yes, it'll be heaven.



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

 

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