I haven't checked this thread for a long time.
This is what I learned in my graph theory class.
You will increase your chance of finding a good match is you have the option to choose and reject. Those that wait to be chosen can only reject, but not choose. If the choices are A, B, C, and D but only C and D reach out to you. Your only choices are C and D even though A and B may be better choices. It doesn't mean A or B do not like you.
I have seen beautiful Hmong women ended up with average or below average guy (look and quality). Because all the better guys are too afraid to approach her and thus giving her the limited choice of the below average guy who got nothing to lose. Had she approach them, she might have been in a different situation. She probably even know they like her but they just never official approach or ask her. But because she keeps waiting and waiting until the less matched guy come along.