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Author Topic: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding  (Read 4406 times)

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Offline theking

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I was invited to attend a friend's daughter's wedding and they did a good job of saving money from renting a reception hall/ball room. Sure it's a little tight mainly not enough restrooms but not bad overall... O0 Best of all, they didn't run on "Hmong time"..  8) O0..


Guests seating area:










Food set up area:




Photography booth:




Wedding cake:




Outdoor cooking area:






These guys did their job early in the morning  O0:




Time to eat, mingle, have a good time and celebrate with the newlyweds:




Dressed up just to follow tradition and last few photos with families and friends before departure time and no, the bride did not cry because she can still visit her parents anytime..:




These little guys with suspenders participated in the American portion of the wedding and did a great job  O0:








« Last Edit: June 15, 2017, 02:20:29 AM by theking »

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Offline DuMa

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2017, 11:48:59 AM »
Lucky for u this what i like

Now imagine if someone knows bruno mars n he is a secret surprise guest to perform there.   Small crowd, no one knows n just perfect. 

I only know one kaydoo that are in the hmong circle. His gf is hmong n we call him sticky rice for being Jerry rice on our flag football team.  His name is Anthony.  Similar to the kaydoo in the pic. 



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Offline theking

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2017, 02:32:01 AM »
Yeah, I thought they pulled it off and did a good job overall of combining both ways as they were able to touch on the key aspects of both. They saved money and still able to celebrate their big day respectively.  O0



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2017, 07:15:11 AM »
The marriage institution if left for the groom, he would have it in his backyard. 

It just that the bride wants her big day so it usually be all decked out n costly. 




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Offline theking

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2017, 01:37:31 PM »
although a reception/banquet wedding is nice... as a majority of my cousins (mostly 90%) of em' are all traditional, these type of weddings are more meaningful to us as all the traditional wedding rituals would have to be done at the house ...plus the $ can be save for the down payment of a house to start our lives together  :P

Yep. Which is why some don't care to have a wedding at all. Just spend a little money out of the pot to get their marriage certificate and then use most of it to put down on a "house" or invest in their future.

Much better than trying to pay off a big wedding loan or pay off the bride price on monthly installments. A couple starting a life together in unnecessary debt is just not very smart IMO.

What's worst is some parents don't care as they insist that their daughter and son-in-law pay off the bride price at all cost.


« Last Edit: June 14, 2017, 04:27:42 PM by theking »

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Offline Yebleng

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2017, 05:49:10 PM »
Nice. I always love these traditional weddings. Sure, they might be a little dirty and ghetto, but they hold so much meaning. What tears me up the most is when the mother passes her daughter over to the grooms side. The lecture between the mother and the daughter is always a wonderful thing to see O0

Also, this setting is nice and simple. Spend the money where it counts.



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Offline theking

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2017, 06:16:03 PM »
You see, it's NOT about what you can showcase in a wedding that constitutes a lasting marriage...it's AFTER the wedding that will determine how great a marriage is.

Yep, as I've said, a big expensive wedding reception, a greedy bride price, a big wedding ring, an expensive wedding dress, a piece of paper, etc., don't do much in terms of happiness. That still mainly depends on the couple...



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DJ-Jayce

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2017, 11:11:28 PM »
I noticed several comments on the cost of marriage.

Do couples in the Hmong community not prepare for the cost? In this day & age ignorance is no longer a viable excuse. Why the rush? Patience & hard work can prevent an indefinite amount of potential future problems. The cost of marriage as a whole even beyond monetary can have long lasting impact on both sides of the family.

The cost is one major reason I've decided to wait. Now I own a home[mortgage free], great running car[paid off], currently debt free. I now have savings to cover the typical bride price, a ring, a similar reception in this post, honeymoon. Anything more extravagant, I would have to dip into my credit cards. No need for external assistance from family & friends. 10 years is what it took to get to this point.



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Offline theking

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2017, 02:10:03 AM »
I noticed several comments on the cost of marriage.

Do couples in the Hmong community not prepare for the cost? In this day & age ignorance is no longer a viable excuse. Why the rush? Patience & hard work can prevent an indefinite amount of potential future problems. The cost of marriage as a whole even beyond monetary can have long lasting impact on both sides of the family.

The cost is one major reason I've decided to wait. Now I own a home[mortgage free], great running car[paid off], currently debt free. I now have savings to cover the typical bride price, a ring, a similar reception in this post, honeymoon. Anything more extravagant, I would have to dip into my credit cards. No need for external assistance from family & friends. 10 years is what it took to get to this point.

Some are and some aren't. Unfortunately some Hmong still believe in eloping, bride-napping, pregnancy, etc., reasons = marriage is required. The fact is if the individuals involved chose not to get married, they don't have to.

Those that still think marriage is required when those things happen may or may not be prepared to pay for the cost especially those that fall in the pregnancy reasons group.

When it comes to cost and how much the couple should spend, that mainly just depends on them as a marriage/wedding can cost as low as a couple hundred dollars to as high as millions of dollars.

Bottomline  is, people should do what's right and comfortable for them instead of trying to show off, please others, etc., because that could put them in a huge debt.

And also as you've pointed out: "The cost is one major reason I've decided to wait."...It's better to get it done when you are ready and at your own time than being forced to do it by others IMO.

And as I've said, instead of helping or giving their daughter and son-in-law a head start on their new life together, some parents insist that the couple pay off the loan (bride price)...That could put a lot of unnecessary stress on the new couple but it doesn't have to be.


« Last Edit: June 15, 2017, 02:24:34 AM by theking »

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DJ-Jayce

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2017, 09:36:18 AM »
Some are and some aren't. Unfortunately some Hmong still believe in eloping, bride-napping, pregnancy, etc., reasons = marriage is required. The fact is if the individuals involved chose not to get married, they don't have to.

Those that still think marriage is required when those things happen may or may not be prepared to pay for the cost especially those that fall in the pregnancy reasons group.

When it comes to cost and how much the couple should spend, that mainly just depends on them as a marriage/wedding can cost as low as a couple hundred dollars to as high as millions of dollars.

Bottomline  is, people should do what's right and comfortable for them instead of trying to show off, please others, etc., because that could put them in a huge debt.

And also as you've pointed out: "The cost is one major reason I've decided to wait."...It's better to get it done when you are ready and at your own time than being forced to do it by others IMO.

And as I've said, instead of helping or giving their daughter and son-in-law a head start on their new life together, some parents insist that the couple pay off the loan (bride price)...That could put a lot of unnecessary stress on the new couple but it doesn't have to be.

Thanks for the reply. Some reasons for rush marriages I was aware of & some I wasn't. Surprised the bride price could be put on a delayed loan or installments. Based on personal experience by witnessing relatives & friends getting married in the past. No bride price paid upfront meant no wife until paid.

#1 reason for the wait on marriage is no significant other. Single & still enjoying it still, no rush to get married. Also gives me time to start building a post marriage savings fund for backup & emergency.



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Offline lexicon

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2017, 10:15:06 AM »
My advice to newlyweds or any couples in a relationship; build a good relationship with your (potential) in-laws. This isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff but I'm still surprised I see couples treating their in-laws less like family and more like strangers. Do they not realize it'll set the foundation for anything you may do in the future, together as a couple?




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DJ-Jayce

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2017, 11:04:08 AM »
My advice to newlyweds or any couples in a relationship; build a good relationship with your (potential) in-laws. This isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff but I'm still surprised I see couples treating their in-laws less like family and more like strangers. Do they not realize it'll set the foundation for anything you may do in the future, together as a couple?

Indeed. Or at least try to build a good relationship. 3 relatives were able to get their bride prices negated because their relationship with their in-laws prior to marriage was that close.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2017, 11:26:44 AM »
U get marry if u needed a helper. 

Cant sex by yourself
Cant pay your bills any faster without a helper
Cant have kids by yourself
Cant be a mommy without a daddy
Cant eat fancy or watch the movie alone
Cant get tax break claiming single

But once u get married, she expect u to be alone because you play the man role in the family. 



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Offline theking

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2017, 03:09:18 PM »
Thanks for the reply. Some reasons for rush marriages I was aware of & some I wasn't. Surprised the bride price could be put on a delayed loan or installments. Based on personal experience by witnessing relatives & friends getting married in the past. No bride price paid upfront meant no wife until paid.

#1 reason for the wait on marriage is no significant other. Single & still enjoying it still, no rush to get married. Also gives me time to start building a post marriage savings fund for backup & emergency.

Yep, some even take credit cards now...pretty much like  buying a car now...



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Offline AmazingGrace

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Re: Attended a traditional Hmong and American backyard style wedding
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2018, 10:58:32 PM »
I was invited to attend a friend's daughter's wedding and they did a good job of saving money from renting a reception hall/ball room. Sure it's a little tight mainly not enough restrooms but not bad overall... O0 Best of all, they didn't run on "Hmong time"..  8) O0..


Guests seating area:










Food set up area:




Photography booth:




Wedding cake:




Outdoor cooking area:






These guys did their job early in the morning  O0:




Time to eat, mingle, have a good time and celebrate with the newlyweds:




Dressed up just to follow tradition and last few photos with families and friends before departure time and no, the bride did not cry because she can still visit her parents anytime..:




These little guys with suspenders participated in the American portion of the wedding and did a great job  O0:





Like this post: 0

 

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