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Author Topic: Support or Not?  (Read 2096 times)

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Offline lexicon

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Support or Not?
« on: July 21, 2017, 08:44:24 AM »
Hear me out first.

My social media is filled with many individuals who endeavor to become something they're ill equipped to become. Although they deserve applause for the effort given, are we doing ourselves and these individuals a disservice if we continue to support them? We expect the best from everyone but if their best isn't enough, then shouldn't we tell them so?


« Last Edit: July 21, 2017, 08:54:08 AM by lexicon »

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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2017, 06:15:32 PM »
Hear me out first.

My social media is filled with many individuals who endeavor to become something they're ill equipped to become. Although they deserve applause for the effort given, are we doing ourselves and these individuals a disservice if we continue to support them? We expect the best from everyone but if their best isn't enough, then shouldn't we tell them so?

Yes... some people need to be told what their limits are.



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Offline nightrider

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2017, 07:34:15 PM »
Yes. People do need to be told that they lack the skills or aspiration to excel in a certain idea/career and they should stop wasting their resources and try something new that they're truly good at or are more realistic.



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Offline lexicon

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2017, 08:00:36 AM »
Thanks for all the input so far guys.

I don't mean to discourage anyone. I just think some people are setting themselves up for disappointment later on in Life. I understand you define what success means to you, but if you're looking to be the next Ed Sheeran, you have to posses a little bit of the innate talents that are required. There's nothing wrong with chasing a dream. But sometimes a dream IS just a dream.



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Offline YeejKoob13

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2017, 11:27:42 AM »
It depends on what the "endeavor" is. If it's something that's going to financially ruin them (say investing in a business or even putting $ down for band/studio/music equipments which could cost lots), then sure, let them know what you think to sober them up.

If it's just something simple and silly, like wanting to be a singing star, with no real big monetary investment involved which will harm them, then let them be. They will just lose a bit of face (you included too if you are close to them) when they hear from a non-friendly, non-family audience. When they are spent, they will wean themselves out of it.

The Hmong saying goes, "Tsis pom dej dag siab tsis nqig."



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Offline lexicon

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2017, 11:50:05 AM »
It depends on what the "endeavor" is. If it's something that's going to financially ruin them (say investing in a business or even putting $ down for band/studio/music equipments which could cost lots), then sure, let them know what you think to sober them up.

If it's just something simple and silly, like wanting to be a singing star, with no real big monetary investment involved which will harm them, then let them be. They will just lose a bit of face (you included too if you are close to them) when they hear from a non-friendly, non-family audience. When they are spent, they will wean themselves out of it.

The Hmong saying goes, "Tsis pom dej dag siab tsis nqig."

It's the financial support that bugs me. Some of these individuals don't seem to think they can pursue their dreams and work at the same time. And so they're looking to solicit funds from family and friends. Whether it's some crowd sourcing or otherwise, they're not supporting themselves financially. People are free to do what they please with THEIR money but isn't there are certainly more worthwhile cause. Yes, it can be subjective but this is my post and these people bug the heck outta me atm.



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Offline YeejKoob13

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2017, 08:38:06 PM »
It's the financial support that bugs me. Some of these individuals don't seem to think they can pursue their dreams and work at the same time. And so they're looking to solicit funds from family and friends. Whether it's some crowd sourcing or otherwise, they're not supporting themselves financially. People are free to do what they please with THEIR money but isn't there are certainly more worthwhile cause. Yes, it can be subjective but this is my post and these people bug the heck outta me atm.

I have a maternal male cousin who went through a stage in which you described there, about soliciting funds from family and friends (plus Hmong community) to open a business, requiring 30k+, base on upon a "natural talent" of his. He was only in his early 20's back then, so was ill informed and ill equipped, not just lacking in talent, but more importantly(?) knew nothing about running a business. He ended collecting some money, but fell long shot of his goal amount. He did all sorts of crazy stuffs, like pawning his belongings and his siblings' as well to make up for the shortfall. He went to those electronic stores "take now pay later" and pawned them also thinking that his future business would rake in so much he'd be able to pay everything back. At the end he failed tremendously. Had collection agencies chasing him for years. It was hard watching him suffer. But no amount of talk and reasoning, short of yelling at him and calling him names(?), could stop him. His dad threatened to disown him as he was embarrassing his family, and yet that still didn't stop him pursuing his dream... His first of many dreams, and they all came about quickly and successively.

I think the cousin there had light mental issues though, at the very least ADHD, so that's why it was hard to stop him from his self infliction.

It's not easy at all going about telling some one who really believes in themselves that they don't have it. As I said, as long as they aren't going to financially ruin themselves then let them down softly. Maybe it's best to just let them run their course. Just don't give them a lot of money so as to enable them. When they see that they can't get a bus ticket, plane ticket, their uniforms or dress/suit, a hotel, maybe even meals while going off chasing their dreams they will have enough and quietly quit.


« Last Edit: September 25, 2017, 08:50:15 PM by YeejKoob13 »

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Support or Not?
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2017, 02:53:45 AM »
You are a dream-killer. Tell them that they are courageous and an inspiration to pursue a worthless degree/job that will end at an Occupy Wall Street march where they can blame white privilege.

Stupid people who go into fields where it is known to be super low-pay unless they're willing to watch Harvey Weinstein pee into a potted plant don't get to demonize those who took the right steps in securing a well-paid and rewarding career.

They don't get to tell the 6-figure income doctor (who probably has the same amount of student loan debt) that his services should be FREE or stolen by the government.

I am done with these a-holes who make very poor life decisions and then don't want accountability much less think they deserve the consequences.   



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