You cannot dictate someone's life, not that you are...but a lot of times the other person feels that's what's happening. You may think and feel you are a reasonable person but you cannot expect someone to think and feel like you do. Perhaps they already think and feel they are reasonable in many other ways towards you, yet you just haven't notice.
To throw things he love and enjoy, will not do you any favor. It's a sign of hate and it will continue to trigger you to do it more in the future with anything else he might love and enjoy doing. Once you've done it, it's so much more easier for you to do it again. You may not even realize how you are probably still continuing to destroy other things such as his morals, his mental health at work, and his tolerance for your behavior.
Learn to have patience and learn to control your temper. Compromise is a life long companion that you need to uphold until the end of your life with anyone and everyone, vice versa.
There are people who may tell you it is best to divorce and find someone who is better but you also need to look at their own lives if they are doing well. If they are doing well, what exactly are they doing that is healthy for themselves and their partner? What events had occur in their life that had made and break them to get to where they are at?
If you are close to his friends, invite them over and do something fun together. Get to know his friends and their hobbies, especially because you guys have no children yet. That way, you can start building a mutual relationship with them and they get to know the real you. Plus...them knowing you will also make them understand that maybe the things your s/o say is just a bunch of BS and they can help back you up during their "guy talk." Besides, knowing their gaming hobbies...you can learn to speak their nerdy game language and mock or humor your s/o from time to time. That may bring you guys closer and he may change himself because he see you've changed too.
/life
Oh I know at times I am not reasonable but the things he does leads it this way.
Well yeah it's a sign of hate, I hate it when he games when it is not necessary or relevant for him to game.
I wouldn't say I am destroying his mental health at work because he doesn't even want to work, he rather stay home and game.
Yeah I know his tolerance is deteriorating, but the way he's lashing back isn't how it's supposed to be. Then again how is lashing back supposed to be right?
For example the other day while he blew up my phone he said, you want me to be a man and grow up fine I will sit here and argue with you!
Then proceeds to tell me. You want me to be head of house, fine! Then you do everything.
To be honest his friends are actually my friends or acquaintances, what ever you want to call it.
They all went to High school with me. They all became his friend because, we'll he had no other friends.
I do know them and their hobbies.
Why should I get to know them when they won't get to know me.
They never ask or try to understand, they just sit there and talk shit to my husband about me.
Yeah I told them I hit his console and what not because he called into work (No PTO) just to game.
Do they care? No, they still see me as a mean b*tch.
At the same time I feel like what goes on between my husband and I is really non of their business too.
Yeah I know there are certain things I need to change, but how can I when it's the stuff he does that causes me to react the way I do.
