Updated as of 6/04/18
For the past 2 weeks, I started seeing someone I met from Hmong single. Like how I mentioned that I’ve no self confidence, well he made me feel confident and comfortable in my own body. He says to me that I do not need to change myself or look like a certain someone to meet anyone. If they can’t accept you, don’t even bother knowing them. I thought about it and the previous week I messaged him saying “Let’s meet up because I will never lose weight”.
So we met for over an hour that night because my man went fishing over night with the guy on Sunday. We went to the park and walk and talk. This guy here is like skinny skinny. I am twice his size or bigger.
On Tuesday after memorial, we met up around noon time and grabbed Jamba Juice. We met for an hour and just chit chat. I had to sneak out to meet him. We continued to talk and see each other. I decided to give him 100% of my time and I guess I told him my pity story of my relationship. This past weekend we hung out and did a lot of things. We had our first lunch and dinner date, cruising through town and etc. He says to me he like me a lot and want more then friends. He said I make him happy. I’m confused at the moment because I don’t want any relationship. My partner trust me now and I can’t do anything suspicious because he’ll find out and can murder me.
Is it normal to have feelings for someone who’s filling all the empty voids in your life? I mean he’s showering me with love, doing everything for me and treating me like a woman. I mean who doesn’t want that? I always wanted to have a man who’ll go eat pho, papaya salad and seafood with me and he’s doing that with me. All the places that I go alone, were doing and going together. I’m just scared to take the next step. Honestly, I miss him and think I’m having feelings for him. My partner said the meaniest things to hurt my self esteem so I won’t cheat on him. With the new guy, everything he said to me it’s lije on point. He pushed my button, we butt head and disagree with one another because he made me see reality. He said I’m babysitting my man, he said stuff to me and it’s like I’m stuck in an eggshell and so forth. The more I talk to him, the more similarities we shared and vavlue in life which makes me start liking him more. My younger guy friends who I talk to, I only want to hear sugar coated words but with him he’s the opposite. He was the last person in messenger that I wanted to know. I ignored him 2 months ago because the truth hurts me.
I’m complicating my life because I want to see what options are out there for me. This is an update of what I’m doing so far. I’m seeing/talking to someone and we’re both on the same page.