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Author Topic: Has anyone ever experienced "ghosting" from a boyfriend/girlfriend?  (Read 371 times)

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Offline MissWildflower

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Apparently, the term for when your boyfriend/girlfriend suddenly goes MIA from a relationship.. . meaning no calls, no texts, and no responses to your calls or texts is called "ghosting".

Has anyone ever experienced this? If so, how did it affect you? And if the person did try to enter your life again later, how did you handle the situation?

I just find it very odd and extemely disrespectful anyone would do this, but it appears many men do this... just leave a relationship cold turkey. Any comments/thoughts on this?



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Offline DuMa

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When you guys already established a bf/gf relationship and ghosting applies then that's fawk up but anything else like a one nighter or a hit a few and run, I don't see nothing wrong with a little bit of bump and grind. 

Have I?  Yes but they made the decision for me.  Here are my classic examples. 

She was Chinese and a freak.  Once her parents leaves for work, she would invited me over.  As soon as I entered her SF home, she was all over me literally.  I was pinned to the wall and we took it into her bedroom.  I ghost her azz after she gave me the same Victoria secret bag that I bought gifts for her and in it was my boxer that I forgot at her house.  I took it as a diss so I changed my cell number and that was that.  Years later, I saw her online social media page and she is with a white guy.  Happy or not, I don't know but if she sees me again, she'll send her bf to kick my azz for the past.  My bad for over reacting.  Maybe she just gave me my boxer cuz she doesn't want her parents to see the evidence.  My bad but hey, I still think of her as of today.  Only the fun sexual part though. 

Next up is a lao chick.  Met her at the club.  Another freaky chick that would hit me up and asked for services and even willingly to book me a room at her expenses since I'm like 2 hours away from her.  Well this one was shady from the get go.  She and I would meet up at a local Walmart where she parked her car and off we go in mine.  She might be creeping on her husband I don't know and I didn't care at the moment.  Well and like I said, they made the wrong move.  I was at the SF club when she hits me up and said she thinks she's pregnant.  That there just ruined my night.  A few days later, she said false alarm.  I took it as a testing diss so same thing, I changed my number and ghosted her. 

Next one is another Chinese chick.  This one loves me for sure but I don't feel the same.  This one bought me a bag full of designer clothing just cuz she wants to change me to look more GQ.  When we were on a date at Monterey aquarium, she tried to hold my hand but instinct had me shrugged my hand away.  This confused her even more.  This was during the Myspace days since she went snooping on me.  She saw me talking to a Hmong chick and confronted me on it.  I ghosted her with same style, changed of phone number and blocked her from social media.  She went to my Apt and knocked on my door while I was still inside.  I was trapped in my own apt for hours.  She even yelled out that she knows I'm inside cuz she saw my car parked down below.  I got a stalker at hand here and instead of calling the cops, I ended up moving out. I got with the Hmong girl instead. 

MN Wis Hmong women, I ghost always cuz I was leaving for Cali.  Got to do it to send them on their ways.  I can't hold false hopes on people to wait for me.  When confronted, I say I got caught up with the law and just got out, wanna eff again? Ha


« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 03:09:28 AM by DuMa »

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Offline Reporter

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Common sense to just call it off.

I've never had that before. But if I was ghosting, it already means I don't care about the girl anymore.



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Offline ZDN

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while duma's a ghost, i'm a magician...i'm the best when it comes to doing a disappearing act.

ghosts don't have feeling while magicians do.  it was not too long ago, i did the disappearing act to a wonderful viet girl.  even though we had communication issues, due to lack of english (on her part), we understood one another perfectly via google translate.  our first date, we spoke in silent language, passed our phones back and forth with questions and answers...a lot of smiles, a little giggles, here and there.  she's a pharmacist from vietnam but a nail specialist in america...pick ed her up every night from the salon, our conversation was limited but our eyes and hands talked a lot.  our vegas trip was a trip to the hotel, motel and holiday inn and no where else.  on vietnamese lunar, i handed her a red envelope and that would be the last time i saw her.  to this day, i'm full of regret.  i have no explanation and no excuses...i feel terrible, so much so that i wish i was dead and became a ghost. 

if duma would ever be so lucky, i would introduce her, so he can bridenap!



« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 12:38:22 PM by ZDN »

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Offline Dok_Champa

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I personally think people that use ghosting are "cowards" because they rather disappear than man up to the situation, selfish, and cruel.



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline DuMa

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I personally think people that use ghosting are "cowards" because they rather disappear than man up to the situation, selfish, and cruel.

Heroes get beat up and killed.  Be a coward to live another day to share their ghosting stories with the world. 

It's a give and take world.  I had female disappeared in me before too.  Before the check comes out that is. 



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Heroes get beat up and killed.  Be a coward to live another day to share their ghosting stories with the world. 

It's a give and take world.  I had female disappeared in me before too.  Before the check comes out that is.
Yes Heroes get beat up and killed but at least they stand by their truth, convictions, and their moral compass are intact, grounded so whatever the outcome, they are at peace knowing they are doing the "right" thing to their best abilities unlike villains.

 



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline DuMa

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Yes Heroes get beat up and killed but at least they stand by their truth, convictions, and their moral compass are intact, grounded so whatever the outcome, they are at peace knowing they are doing the "right" thing to their best abilities unlike villains.

So you are telling me that you rather hear the truth that will tarnish and hurt you?

Hero Don't bring ill wishes to other people.  Best not to know than getting dump and say thank you for the booty. 

Some people can't handle the truth and there is no rule that says one needs to close the deal even in a break up. 



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Offline Dok_Champa

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So you are telling me that you rather hear the truth that will tarnish and hurt you?

Hero Don't bring ill wishes to other people.  Best not to know than getting dump and say thank you for the booty. 

Some people can't handle the truth and there is no rule that says one needs to close the deal even in a break up.
That phrase, "the truth shall set you free" is valuable in relationship.  Yes, people can't avoid pain, break up, but the truth will help people moved on/close the chapter.  Getting the truth out need not be brutal.  Ex:  you're not into the girl and just after her for a booty.  You can tell her you don't feel the same way instead of ghosting.  But of course, guys don't want to do that because they're not getting the booty once the truth is out.  *shakes head****



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline DuMa

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That phrase, "the truth shall set you free" is valuable in relationship.  Yes, people can't avoid pain, break up, but the truth will help people moved on/close the chapter.  Getting the truth out need not be brutal.  Ex:  you're not into the girl and just after her for a booty.  You can tell her you don't feel the same way instead of ghosting.  But of course, guys don't want to do that because they're not getting the booty once the truth is out.  *shakes head****

So does hanging around not loving the person and yet, too yellow to dump someone consider a hero moves? 

Ghosting is best done when the fire is not yet even there.  It was a fling so basically, no one gets butt hurt actually.  We call it even and move on with our lives.  No contact is a sure enough answer that you got dumped in a ghosting way. 

I rather for a chick to do that to me than say my love is wack. 




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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Has anyone ever experienced "ghosting" from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2018, 03:26:05 PM »
So does hanging around not loving the person and yet, too yellow to dump someone consider a hero moves? 

Ghosting is best done when the fire is not yet even there.  It was a fling so basically, no one gets butt hurt actually.  We call it even and move on with our lives.  No contact is a sure enough answer that you got dumped in a ghosting way. 

I rather for a chick to do that to me than say my love is wack.
When no feelings are involved and only physical, people don't care if you ghost or not as long as both parties understand it was just a physical thing.  No problem with that. Real problems comes w/ people deceived and then ghost on the other.  That's cowardly, cruel, and selfish. 



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline MissWildflower

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Re: Has anyone ever experienced "ghosting" from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2018, 07:22:35 PM »
Hi all - thanks for your examples and comments. Everyone has their own opinion, but I agree with Dok_Champa that it is a very cowardly and cruel way to end any kind of relationship.

My thoughts are, if you just already know you want to just end it, at least have the decency and manners to clearly state it to someone. This allows closure for the other person and you both. How can people who exit relationships in silence sleep at night? Is there no sense.of guilt for just leaving the other person hanging? I guess everyone just have different perspectives on this, but thanks all for the insight.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Has anyone ever experienced "ghosting" from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2018, 09:20:02 PM »
Hi all - thanks for your examples and comments. Everyone has their own opinion, but I agree with Dok_Champa that it is a very cowardly and cruel way to end any kind of relationship.

My thoughts are, if you just already know you want to just end it, at least have the decency and manners to clearly state it to someone. This allows closure for the other person and you both. How can people who exit relationships in silence sleep at night? Is there no sense.of guilt for just leaving the other person hanging? I guess everyone just have different perspectives on this, but thanks all for the insight.

Whatever and I know I'm right. 

Think about this for a moment here.  Do you think the slang ghosting was created by a women and for other women?  I don't think so and therefore, ghosting is for us guys cuz we are jerks like that. 

Just like how some people adopt a puppy and found out their puppy is a dud so the go dump the poor puppy far far away from home. 

Ghosting, that's what for a man's dinner. 



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Has anyone ever experienced "ghosting" from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2018, 09:22:31 AM »
Whatever and I know I'm right. 

Think about this for a moment here.  Do you think the slang ghosting was created by a women and for other women?  I don't think so and therefore, ghosting is for us guys cuz we are jerks like that.

Just like how some people adopt a puppy and found out their puppy is a dud so the go dump the poor puppy far far away from home. 

Ghosting, that's what for a man's dinner.
Agree, only jerks would do that.  A real man wouldn't.



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline DuMa

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Re: Has anyone ever experienced "ghosting" from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
« Reply #14 on: May 17, 2018, 09:56:18 AM »
Ghosting is for those who do not know how to dump people.  They teaches you how to flirt and get into a relationship but no one teaches you how to dump people.  If I don't know how and she so psycho that she don't let me go either then our loving contract still binds and we are stuck with each other.  No, make that wasting each other's time. 




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