The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

[DuMa]

Men like this is what I am afraid of... perhaps it's just better to be single.

Not many people are born to be truthful.  They even justify it by calling it a white lie.  It is hard to find that person who is honest with you but I tell you what, action do speaks louder than words.  When I was in love with this one chick, I gave her my souped up car, my pride and joy and trusted her with it.  She drove to college one day and wrecked it.  It took me 1 minute to cry about the loss but I told her not to worry about it for I can always get another one.  So if a guy is all into you, he will give you his world.  He will not lie to cheat or do anything to hurt you.  He will protect you and will give you his all.  What he values to trust is now yours.  My fon is yours to check up on.  My PH account is yours to check upon.  My house key is yours  ect ect

When he's holding back what he cherish as golden to himself, you better watch out. 

[lilly]

Not many people are born to be truthful.  They even justify it by calling it a white lie.  It is hard to find that person who is honest with you but I tell you what, action do speaks louder than words.  When I was in love with this one chick, I gave her my souped up car, my pride and joy and trusted her with it.  She drove to college one day and wrecked it.  It took me 1 minute to cry about the loss but I told her not to worry about it for I can always get another one.  So if a guy is all into you, he will give you his world.  He will not lie to cheat or do anything to hurt you.  He will protect you and will give you his all.  What he values to trust is now yours.  My fon is yours to check up on.  My PH account is yours to check upon.  My house key is yours  ect ect

When he's holding back what he cherish as golden to himself, you better watch out.

Good to know. 

[Rebel]

YOu mean you were a statistics? 

Your blue print is just the same old aged playbook that lots of men played.  Just know what you are doing and be careful to read them signs right.   

I'm not trying to give him sex or anything to make him love me or commit to me. I am doing because I'm selfish; bc he taking from me so I'll take from him too.

Sex did ruin my feelings for him but I'll share that story another time lol. He didn't earned it... I was deceived...I guess that's why his ass still chasing me bc whenever we bring up that topic...I'm still piss about it.

I told him the other day he can go duck someone else  bc I wasn't giving it to him anymore. It wasn't meant to happen that he way...I currently cannot stand him at the moment hahahaha

[Rebel]

Not many people are born to be truthful.  They even justify it by calling it a white lie.  It is hard to find that person who is honest with you but I tell you what, action do speaks louder than words.  When I was in love with this one chick, I gave her my souped up car, my pride and joy and trusted her with it.  She drove to college one day and wrecked it.  It took me 1 minute to cry about the loss but I told her not to worry about it for I can always get another one.  So if a guy is all into you, he will give you his world.  He will not lie to cheat or do anything to hurt you.  He will protect you and will give you his all.  What he values to trust is now yours.  My fon is yours to check up on.  My PH account is yours to check upon.  My house key is yours  ect ect

When he's holding back what he cherish as golden to himself, you better watch out.

I appreciate the advice   I guess I'm just going to keep running until that good guy shows up and trips me down or something lol I'm not settling this time...at the moment I'm going to have fun

[Rebel]

He texted me:

"I know your not busy, Come see me, I miss you!"

"I'm heading home, what time?"

"Maybe an hour.."

"I'll think about it" I texted him back

"You'll think about it???"

I thought about it for a while and went back on what I initially wanted to say to him

"Ok I'll be there call me when your off"

"Ok that's my baby girl"

"See you later"
----

I barely got inside the house and the first thing that came out of his mouth was...

"My boys and I will be leaving for a week, so I won't be back until Saturday"

"Ohhh so you have me drive ALL the way here just to tell me that?"

"Lol.... I wish I could take you but we're all guys and you wouldn't have fun being stuck with us for a week"
----

He made dinner and we hang outdoor. He started that annoying baby talk with me again.
"If we have a baby, the baby will be taken care of, you wouldn't have to worry about anything"

Then he asked me about baby names. And we each threw out a couple names out there.

"I have been thinking about it recently" I said to him even though it was a lie

"Well I think I've fallen more in love with you now if your willing to carry a baby for me"
He came over and hugged me and gave me a forehead kiss.

Idk. I just felt weird and confused at his enthusiasm on this topic.
---
We had dinner. We talked some more. Then we went to watch a movie... and I knocked out. But I woke up in the middle of the night and I keep thinking of all these thoughts and couldn't sleep.
Finally fell back asleep 3 am.

I woke that morning and those thoughts were still in my head. It's just a feeling. I think I'm just tired of shit and I want to say it.

"I don't think I want to see you anymore" I said to him as I jumped out of bed.

He sat up in bed, shocked.

"But rebel I love being with you"

"I know but things have changed... I want more time with you or we shouldn't be together. I don't want to base our relationship on sex...I don't know we're on the same page anymore"

"But alot of sex is good! We should be having a lot more of it!!!" He raised his voice and sounded upset

" I want us to focus on our relationship.. . I want to go out more and spend more quality time together."

"Ok fine. We'll spend more time... and No more sex..." he said disappointedly

Truthfully, we sex a lot. It's ridiculous!

He grew quiet...
"What's your problem? I said to him.
"Nothing, just listening to you"
"No your not...you're thinking"
He turned over to me and gave me a huge smile, that smile is his way of ending the conversation.
----
On my way out to my car...
"Hey your favorite line: call me" he said jokingly
"Lol actually that's your line, you should call me"
"Ok..."
"But send me pictures of your trip"
"I will, don't forget I'll be back Saturday"
"Ok have fun"

He kissed me on my cheeks and gave me a long hug... that day was weird.., he sent me a whole bunch of pictures out of the blue. I know he wanted to see me only to make sure I won't forget him when he left...there's no other reasons. And he does that all the time, even when him or I was to leave for a short time... as long as it was out the city, he made sure that we saw each other in case we forgot each other or something. Or he'll send me picture, like reminders to come back to him... I know he's territorial, like he own me or something... but sometimes I also feel like he's scare to lose me...

he wanted to take me to the mountain last weekend bc he knew he'd be gone this week...my question is, why didn't he tell me last weekend that he would be leaving this week? It feels shady as hell. He sent me pictures but I didn't feel like replying back to him.

[DuMa]

I see a habit forming.  Too easy

When in need, just have him say...come on down, you the next contestant to the price is right.   

After he feast, he is full...he will be quiet for a while until he's hungry again.  Next time will be the same game.  Come on over and you remember to leave at 3am in the morning.  Just make sure to bring a piece of his clothing as a souvenir and built a collection with it.   

Lilly needs to take notes.  Do not be that girl.  I told you so.   

[lilly]

I see a habit forming.  Too easy

When in need, just have him say...come on down, you the next contestant to the price is right.   

After he feast, he is full...he will be quiet for a while until he's hungry again.  Next time will be the same game.  Come on over and you remember to leave at 3am in the morning.  Just make sure to bring a piece of his clothing as a souvenir and built a collection with it.   

Lilly needs to take notes.  Do not be that girl.  I told you so.

WTF!  Why is my name thrown into the mix.  Tsk tsk tsk, Duma.  Hahaha.  But yeah, most men are jerks.  Women can be jerks too but more men are jerks than women.  Girls, remember that there are 7 billion people on earth.  If you're over 35 and still have not found the right guy, well then, just know that the right guy most likely will never come.  Be happy with yourself.  Enjoy life.  Break those men hearts.  The heart of the guy that breaks is the one you can do a double-take on because it at least means he cared about you to have his heart be broken.  Just kidding!  But for real, I just learned recently that men have feelings too.  They are a**holes and want to taste every pretty woman that they come across... but deep down, they want love too.  They want a sweet and loving woman who can take their sh*t, who will feed them, and be there for them no matter what, and someone who will not get jealous when they look at other pretty girls.  It's wrong af for them to drool after other pretty girls but that's just the way men are built.  "Most" men think with their d***s.  But after they stop being distracted, their little sad hearts just want to be loved by a good woman.  The problem is, most good women will not put up with sh*t.  So, if the man keeps being an a**hole and lusting after other women and they go so far as to act on their fantasies like Duma's friend that came to MN for his booty call... then good women will say to such men, "F Off!"... Even so, poor little men such as Duma's friend will still not get a clue... and he will still feel sad that he can't find a good woman... but when he finds a good woman more than likely he will ruin the relationship because it's just in his nature to f things up, causing the good woman to run for the hills... and as true as there is spring, summer, fall, and winter, it will takes years of growing up before the light bulbs go off for these types of jerk men... and by then... they better have lots of money or pretty girls will be like, "No way, grandpa!"  The moral of the story is, men have feelings too and they need love too... even though on the jerk scale, they win by a landslide compared to women.  I think it will serve women well to be a**holes and jerks.  I take that back... it will serve women well to not need men. Again, be happy with yourself.  Enjoy life.  The end.

[DuMa]

WTF!  Why is my name thrown into the mix.  Tsk tsk tsk, Duma.  Hahaha.  But yeah, most men are jerks.  Women can be jerks too but more men are jerks than women.  Girls, remember that there are 7 billion people on earth.  If you're over 35 and still have not found the right guy, well then, just know that the right guy most likely will never come.  Be happy with yourself.  Enjoy life.  Break those men hearts.  The heart of the guy that breaks is the one you can do a double-take on because it at least means he cared about you to have his heart be broken.  Just kidding!  But for real, I just learned recently that men have feelings too.  They are a**holes and want to taste every pretty woman that they come across... but deep down, they want love too.  They want a sweet and loving woman who can take their sh*t, who will feed them, and be there for them no matter what, and someone who will not get jealous when they look at other pretty girls.  It's wrong af for them to drool after other pretty girls but that's just the way men are built.  "Most" men think with their d***s.  But after they stop being distracted, their little sad hearts just want to be loved by a good woman.  The problem is, most good women will not put up with sh*t.  So, if the man keeps being an a**hole and lusting after other women and they go so far as to act on their fantasies like Duma's friend that came to MN for his booty call... then good women will say to such men, "F Off!"... Even so, poor little men such as Duma's friend will still not get a clue... and he will still feel sad that he can't find a good woman... but when he finds a good woman more than likely he will ruin the relationship because it's just in his nature to f things up, causing the good woman to run for the hills... and as true as there is spring, summer, fall, and winter, it will takes years of growing up before the light bulbs go off for these types of jerk men... and by then... they better have lots of money or pretty girls will be like, "No way, grandpa!"  The moral of the story is, men have feelings too and they need love too... even though on the jerk scale, they win by a landslide compared to women.  I think it will serve women well to be a**holes and jerks.  I take that back... it will serve women well to not need men. Again, be happy with yourself.  Enjoy life.  The end.

Your name is included because yall two women are the only ones running around here and talking about or in searching for love. 

I honestly do not know what is the good way to catch a guy if you are a woman.  I have seen a few and I've learned a thing or two.  Some played the trapping game.  As long as women are on top, it is ok right? 

Some play the hard to get game like how every dad would preach to their daughter but honey, you are not fresh to the scene anymore.  Yall been around which looses your card to play this route.  Yall can try but do expect many men to be turn off by it and add more losing time and time is a big factor in your dating game right now. 

I don't mind smart women who holds all the trump card and is always up on a guy.   It doesn't make her a jerk.  It makes her a winner if things do not work out right.  Once sex is involved, you can't win anymore.  He will take his sexy story and brag it with his boys when the two of you are no longer together and you get labeled by him as a tramp, a hoe and what not. 

WAtch for habits.  There is such a thing as a sexual relationship.  It feels like a couple relationship and you two can get jealous too because we don't want to share our toys with another person.  You meet up and ends the same, sex.  Love development involved?  Nah, thus why I said not to be that woman.  If you hang out, go trips, go places, development a relationship without sex, then you can see where the relationship goes to grows.  Anything else that ends in sex is just that, getting hungry and I will call you but with sex in mind and I will bust the move and lure you into bed.  I'm the predator and you are my prey.  If you don't get this then I can't help you . 

Ok, this is enough and I don't want to go on and on and ruin the secret life of a confused American hmong woman in distress page.   

 

[lilly]

Your name is included because yall two women are the only ones running around here and talking about or in searching for love. 

I honestly do not know what is the good way to catch a guy if you are a woman.  I have seen a few and I've learned a thing or two.  Some played the trapping game.  As long as women are on top, it is ok right? 

Some play the hard to get game like how every dad would preach to their daughter but honey, you are not fresh to the scene anymore.  Yall been around which looses your card to play this route.  Yall can try but do expect many men to be turn off by it and add more losing time and time is a big factor in your dating game right now. 

I don't mind smart women who holds all the trump card and is always up on a guy.   It doesn't make her a jerk.  It makes her a winner if things do not work out right.  Once sex is involved, you can't win anymore.  He will take his sexy story and brag it with his boys when the two of you are no longer together and you get labeled by him as a tramp, a hoe and what not. 

WAtch for habits.  There is such a thing as a sexual relationship.  It feels like a couple relationship and you two can get jealous too because we don't want to share our toys with another person.  You meet up and ends the same, sex.  Love development involved?  Nah, thus why I said not to be that woman.  If you hang out, go trips, go places, development a relationship without sex, then you can see where the relationship goes to grows.  Anything else that ends in sex is just that, getting hungry and I will call you but with sex in mind and I will bust the move and lure you into bed.  I'm the predator and you are my prey.  If you don't get this then I can't help you . 

Ok, this is enough and I don't want to go on and on and ruin the secret life of a confused American hmong woman in distress page.   

LMAO!  You are friggin entertaining, Duma!  Please, do go on.  I'm sure Rebel doesn't mind.

Responses to your post:
I honestly do not know what is the good way to catch a guy if you are a woman.  I have seen a few and I've learned a thing or two.  Some played the trapping game.  As long as women are on top, it is ok right? 
You can't catch a guy if a guy doesn't want to get caught.  If he wants to get caught, he only need say "hi", be a good guy, and the WILLING female will catch him.

Some play the hard to get game like how every dad would preach to their daughter
No need to play hard to get.  Such a time waster and it sucks.  Just be upfront and transparent.  Learn about each other as fast as you can so as to not waste time.  Decide quickly if he's a yes or a no.  If no... say Pass and move on. 

Once sex is involved, you can't win anymore.  He will take his sexy story and brag it with his boys when the two of you are no longer together and you get labeled by him as a tramp, a hoe and what not.
That's not true.  He also engaged in sex so he's also a tramp, a hoe, and a what not too.  Guys can be sluts too.  A girl can ruin a guy too if she wanted.  So, guys should show some class before they try to talk trash about anyone.  But in reality, a guy that talks trash--that says more about him than the people he talks about.

There is such a thing as a sexual relationship.
Yup, there is, even though I've never personally been in one.  Heard from others and seen in the movies.  Usually one or both start to develop some feelings and things get messy.  I would advice to stay away from sexual relationships because it seems to always end badly where one or both persons get hurt.  That's why it's important not to have sex with anyone until you are for real and for sure about a person and you know for sure they don't carry diseases.  Guys, wtf, aren't you afraid of diseases?  How can you sleep with so many women?  Ewww.

[DuMa]

You can't catch a guy if a guy doesn't want to get caught.  If he wants to get caught, he only need say "hi", be a good guy, and the WILLING female will catch him.

most guys dream is wanting a woman to make the move first.  It is his fantasy but may be for the wrong reason cuz truth be known, even if he is not into you, when his friends are not looking, he will call you up after he's drunk and wants a drunk talk session with you. 

The only guys that do not want an advance on a female are loyal guys.  They got someone good thus why they do not have these types of fantasy.  If I'm a chick, I'll go after what's good for me.  My double standard thread that I talked about is for women to win on top and to do so, he must wager sex for something that would win her.  Ok, you give sex but get nothing in return, the guy will win.  If you get sex and you are able to milked him for his goods and money and other royalty.  Like in the news, millionaire playboy Italian guy dating model gf and she is now pregnant.  Elon must just got a child by a scrub.  Both women are winners.  I'm taking good notes here. 

No need to play hard to get.  Such a time waster and it sucks.  Just be upfront and transparent.  Learn about each other as fast as you can so as to not waste time.  Decide quickly if he's a yes or a no.  If no... say Pass and move on.

I'm talking about hard to get the booty.  Without sex, a guy is at your disposal.  After sex, most guys will just turn over and fall asleep and turn into an independent cat cuz they don't need yall anymore.  So the end result for any guy who hasn't touch you is sex.  If we don't get sex today, we will try again next time.  Keep him at tease and he will stick around for eternity because his goal has not met.  I'd give him something after marriage though. 

That's not true.  He also engaged in sex so he's also a tramp, a hoe, and a what not too.  Guys can be sluts too.  A girl can ruin a guy too if she wanted.  So, guys should show some class before they try to talk trash about anyone.  But in reality, a guy that talks trash--that says more about him than the people he talks about.

The moment you tell your girl or gay friends that such ex of your is such a tramp, it will elevate his stock.  Now your friends want to see how big his package is.  Double standards do not live here as well.  I've been called a slut, a tramp and whatnot but I'm still in business.  NO furlough here.

Yup, there is, even though I've never personally been in one.  Heard from others and seen in the movies.  Usually one or both start to develop some feelings and things get messy.  I would advice to stay away from sexual relationships because it seems to always end badly where one or both persons get hurt.  That's why it's important not to have sex with anyone until you are for real and for sure about a person and you know for sure they don't carry diseases.  Guys, wtf, aren't you afraid of diseases?  How can you sleep with so many women?  Ewww.

the danger with you is that you never experience this before.  I hope you will never experience it.  My first relationship was like that.  We both do not know what it is and it is like things just happened.  Every time we go out on a date, it ends up like a rebel   

Even after I dumped her,  I was so used to it that I called her up to hang out for old time sake and sex.  Did that  few more times until she wiser up and said to me that she now has a new bf.  She was calling my bluff to get me jealous but that was the last time I ever contacted her again. 

Sexual relationship is a stress reliever and when I was young, it was a learning experiences.  Everything in that kuma sutra book, I did them all.  Including doing her in the azz.   

[lilly]

most guys dream is wanting a woman to make the move first.  It is his fantasy but may be for the wrong reason cuz truth be known, even if he is not into you, when his friends are not looking, he will call you up after he's drunk and wants a drunk talk session with you. 

What???  For realz?

The only guys that do not want an advance on a female are loyal guys.  They got someone good thus why they do not have these types of fantasy.  If I'm a chick, I'll go after what's good for me.  My double standard thread that I talked about is for women to win on top and to do so, he must wager sex for something that would win her.  Ok, you give sex but get nothing in return, the guy will win.  If you get sex and you are able to milked him for his goods and money and other royalty.  Like in the news, millionaire playboy Italian guy dating model gf and she is now pregnant.  Elon must just got a child by a scrub.  Both women are winners.  I'm taking good notes here. 

I see.  I know what you mean. 

I'm talking about hard to get the booty.  Without sex, a guy is at your disposal.  After sex, most guys will just turn over and fall asleep and turn into an independent cat cuz they don't need yall anymore.  So the end result for any guy who hasn't touch you is sex.  If we don't get sex today, we will try again next time.  Keep him at tease and he will stick around for eternity because his goal has not met.  I'd give him something after marriage though. 

Yeah, it's kind of all about the chase for some guys.  But for real, if after sex and you know she is the best and you want her forever, you should claim her.  Like I said, it's super hard to find someone that matches well with you.  Why do you want to keep looking for something better when you've already got gold in your hands?  Look too much or too hard and you could lose that person to someone else who is smarter and wiser.  Some men are dumb.

The moment you tell your girl or gay friends that such ex of your is such a tramp, it will elevate his stock.  Now your friends want to see how big his package is.  Double standards do not live here as well.  I've been called a slut, a tramp and whatnot but I'm still in business.  NO furlough here.

Man, some guys are such sluts, and so stupid brave.  I am super scared of diseases.

the danger with you is that you never experience this before.  I hope you will never experience it.  My first relationship was like that.  We both do not know what it is and it is like things just happened.  Every time we go out on a date, it ends up like a rebel   

Even after I dumped her,  I was so used to it that I called her up to hang out for old time sake and sex.  Did that  few more times until she wiser up and said to me that she now has a new bf.  She was calling my bluff to get me jealous but that was the last time I ever contacted her again. 

Sexual relationship is a stress reliever and when I was young, it was a learning experiences.  Everything in that kuma sutra book, I did them all.  Including doing her in the azz.   

OMG.  

[Rebel]

I see a habit forming.  Too easy

When in need, just have him say...come on down, you the next contestant to the price is right.   

After he feast, he is full...he will be quiet for a while until he's hungry again.  Next time will be the same game.  Come on over and you remember to leave at 3am in the morning.  Just make sure to bring a piece of his clothing as a souvenir and built a collection with it.   

Lilly needs to take notes.  Do not be that girl.  I told you so.

Too easy? Hahaha yeah Ikr. It just feels amazing lmao. Besides that, I was in a sexless marriage for MORE than half my entire marriage! Nobody can believe that shit, not even myself. Ex had issues with his you-know-what, so not only was I deprived sexually but also emotionally. I was loyal to the end. I should be desperate as shit but truthfully, I'm not. I couldn't give a shit! I dated quite a bit of guys, none I liked. Not even him at first bc I told myself I wasn't gonna settled...but it just freaking happened lmao. I guess if that makes me a slut then oh well... gladly take the title haha

@duma and Lilly: love your conversations. . made me LOL for reals.

[Rebel]

He works all week long and gets off late... so most of the time we see each other late in the night.
I brought it up to him the other day in a somewhat rude text message to him bc it annoyed me so much to the point I don't care to meet up anymore...

"Swear to god, If we're always going to meet up late, you can forget about it!"

I was shocked by his reply... he sounded annoyed. 

"What's up...rebel, You've been real mouthy lately! You know I have to work all the time, you wanna take care of me instead?"

That's the closest thing I ever got him to being annoyed at me.

The day before, I messaged him, "maybe it's time we let go of this relationship, we're not going no where"
He called me within a minute of receiving my text  and raised his voice at me...
"Here I am ducking working my ass off and I get this freaking message from you, I don't want to lose you, reb...love what we have. Were gonna talk about this tomorrow when we see each other...gotta go now, I'm still working" **click

He works so much, sometimes I forget I'm in a relationship with him. It's easy to stray at this point...he wouldn't care, maybe it's another test he's running me through...I feel like every little thing he do, is a test of some sort. And I test him too, in different ways... he watches me closely sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. .. but I always pretend like I don't know he is.

We finally met up and had "the talk." Again, I was too intoxicated to say much. Maybe he waited until I was drunk to have the talk with me.

"Were in a relationship, rebel... were exclusive now...you're my girl... my house is you're house...we're  still legally married, don't forget....baby . what if we have a baby?...you want tacos...? Get your passport, lets travel. You're my Queen... knight in shining armor, we agree to no sex... ok no sex... I always got your back, don't worry. We have a amazing connection, rebel... I love everything about it...here's my password to my wifi connection etc etc "

I can only remember bits and pieces of our talk...rules and guidelines were set up... we both agreed. How weird going from casual to exclusive, to LETS BE IN AN EXCLUSIVE OPEN RELATIONSHIP!... wtf?!?

"I'll always ask you first and if you say no then it's no...honestly im not seeing anyone else... on my trip, I didn't duck any of those girls, I'm telling you everything, the truth! If I meet someone I might bring her into our relationship, if your ok with it but I'm not cool with other men in our business"

Wtf?!?

By then I drunk too much to care so I went along with it. If only he have known, I was on a date last Monday and canceled out on two dates, to go hang out with him instead.

It  sounds disastrous somehow, this whole agreement thing...he'll say something  like that then look at me with a serious look to see what I will say to him, while he hold his breathe in. In my head I'm thinking he's testing me? But I'm not sure. If he wants a on open relationship? why does he always call/text me about how much he misses me? To me personally when I have strong feelings for someone to the point I miss them, I wouldn't be able to date anther person. Maybe it's just me and maybe Men don't think the same way.

I looked at him; slurring my words..
"You know I won't remember any of this shit tomorrow... exclusive, open-house, baby, married, exes etc"

"I'll let you know...if you don't remember, ask me and I'll tell you"

I wish I could remember the rest of our conversation that night. Our drive lasted over two hours... we didn't get home until midnight . He ordered late night tacos... we watch some funny movies. And we headed to bed.
"No sex tonight" I managed to say to him before I rolled over and knocked out on my usual side of the bed.

I woke up in the middle of the night and he was on top of me...

"What part of NO SEX do you not understand, you freaking ****!" I kicked him off me, we struggled and both tumbled down the bed; him dragging me to the floor with him along with the blanket.

We were silent, sorta and he finished in his hands...

I can't believe this shit! When I got there earlier that evening, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "no sex today alright?!" All the while  he walked around the house with only his briefs on... like he was going to shower but never did. We need to reset this relationship..

I still don't know what we are. I felt like our talk went in circle, back to where it was at square one. Lmao

I'm not going to put up with this,.. or maybe I should go along and see where it leads even when I know I'm losing my feel for things and had voice it to him about it. He keeps wanting to continue...and I keep holding on to shit. But now that I'm sobered, I'm not willing to accept this crap of being open to others.

[DuMa]

"I'll always ask you first and if you say no then it's no...honestly im not seeing anyone else... on my trip, I didn't duck any of those girls, I'm telling you everything, the truth! If I meet someone I might bring her into our relationship, if your ok with it but I'm not cool with other men in our business"


This is not healthy.  He can bring a chick into a 3some and  you can not bring another guy into it?  Sounds like trouble to me. 

Sexual relationship is a no respect relationship.  I touch you if I wanted to. I'll rape you next attitude. 

You be careful there.  You dancing on thin lines there and sounds like you are getting conned by a sexual predator. 

"drunk, getting on top of you"   yep, sounds like it

[Rebel]

"I'll always ask you first and if you say no then it's no...honestly im not seeing anyone else... on my trip, I didn't duck any of those girls, I'm telling you everything, the truth! If I meet someone I might bring her into our relationship, if your ok with it but I'm not cool with other men in our business"


This is not healthy.  He can bring a chick into a 3some and  you can not bring another guy into it?  Sounds like trouble to me. 

Sexual relationship is a no respect relationship.  I touch you if I wanted to. I'll rape you next attitude. 

You be careful there.  You dancing on thin lines there and sounds like you are getting conned by a sexual predator. 

"drunk, getting on top of you"   yep, sounds like it

He say  he's not down with gay shit. Eventually this won't be a healthy relationship bc if I am given free range to do what I want with no boundaries, I will mind as will go all the way and do my thing while I'm with him and have my cake and eat it too. What kind of relationship would that be?  It doesn't feel like it's a relationship to me. But If he really want an open relationship that bad, i will make sure it's fair or else we shouldn't be in a relationship together. I know he'll say shit but ultimately in the end he usually cave and do it... it's just me who don't want it... I'm not even sure at this point...