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Author Topic: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?  (Read 11516 times)

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Offline Clould

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #30 on: September 24, 2021, 12:28:05 AM »
I really wish I could say yes. I really wish it could be different, but things are what they are. ..so no. Knowing what I know, I would have made different decisions. The decisions I made would led me to someone else.



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Offline lilly

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #31 on: September 27, 2021, 09:44:49 AM »
I really wish I could say yes. I really wish it could be different, but things are what they are. ..so no. Knowing what I know, I would have made different decisions. The decisions I made would led me to someone else.

Yeah, only if we knew then what we know now, right?  Life is such a gamble sometimes.  We  often don't know what we're getting ourselves into.  At the moment it sounded nice but as time goes by, things are revealed to us, and we wish we knew then what we know now.  What sucks is, time waits for no one.  If we make a mistake going with someone, who's to say we won't make a mistake with the next person too?  I mean, we'll be smarter and wiser and know more of what we want and learn to be smarter at looking out for the signs regarding if someone is right for us or not... but people change every day, every week, month, year, etc.  Who we get now is not always who we get later and vice versa.  So, again, it's always a gamble.  You just go with someone who meets most of the things on your list and hope for the best really.  Kinda a dim view but it's the truth.  The couple who can still say "it's great" are just the lucky ones... they're lucky to end up with someone who continues on the same path as them, who has the same goals, etc, and if not, the couple is willing to make compromises and sacrifices to stay together.  That is all that we can hope for.  Someone who will choose us every day despite the changes that we all go through.



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Offline Reporter

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #32 on: November 28, 2021, 10:48:58 AM »
There is a time in any couple's marriage that makes them wish they hadn't been with the person they are with.

When I was living with a lady and supporting her and her two kids years ago with all intentions to marry her, yet she kept cheating on me, and when I tried to leave her,
she tried to commit suicide and I had to take care of her at the hospital for two weeks, I did wish I had been with someone else.

I took the time to finish caring for her, ensuring she had a place to live in and her children were properly with her before I left her. Not for someone else
but just to escape. We later detached peacefully without further violence. I had to literally, physically run away and hopped over a fence one night to escape all of that.

You know why I don't have much faith in marriages these days and I have remained single for the longest time, even when I have many opportunities out there.

But now the real one is forthcoming, I think.

Notice I still say "I think."

How sure we are is still unsure, right?

For some, they wish things would have been different but for some they've learned to accept the current person they are with. Share your personal stories.


« Last Edit: November 30, 2021, 07:39:33 PM by Reporter »

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The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #33 on: November 30, 2021, 11:49:27 AM »
Yes I would and I wish I was less stubborn so he would have less headaches.  But I thank him for loving me as I am.  In that way,  I am bless.  Now, if ask the same question on him, he would probably say NOOOOOOO ;D ;D ;D ;D

Honey, I'm lacking in many ways but I'm also good in other ways so everything sort of balance out....

Thank you for loving me as I am O0 O0



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline Reporter

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2021, 07:41:10 PM »
Rare. 

But even here he doesn't want to do the bad times again, just the good times he's longing for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ3VbZz4iAs


« Last Edit: November 30, 2021, 07:43:38 PM by Reporter »

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"...
The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #35 on: December 01, 2021, 09:14:01 AM »
Beautiful song and one can tell he misses her still.

Opps, I already replied to this thread b4 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline Freeman

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #36 on: December 01, 2021, 03:06:58 PM »
The only part i would do again is the sex part.  ;D ;D ;D ;D. Other thing is a big no no..



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The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, be one!

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Offline floaty

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #37 on: December 24, 2021, 12:32:46 AM »
No. I told him, let's not meet the next lifetime.



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Offline Reporter

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #38 on: December 24, 2021, 06:51:40 AM »
You know couples for whose graves their kids want to have next to each other? I heard six couples denying that. Two men and four women said they already had this lifetime together, they don't even want to lie dead next to their spouses anymore.

No. I told him, let's not meet the next lifetime.



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"...
The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Believe_N_Me

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If I could start over again I think somehow I would still end up with this person. The stars just weren't aligned at the time for us to be together. In a way, one could say that we crossed each other's paths many times but it was like there was a veil in between. It was only after marriage that we discovered how connected we were to each other. Here is just one example, when I was in my teens, I got really sick and a lady at our church said that her sister-in-law grew medicinal plants that might help. A few days later a package arrived in the mail with the herbs. It turned out that it was my future husband who sent that package for his mom, who was the sister-in-law that grew medicinal plants.

My husband and I did not meet each other through these people who turned out to be mutual acquaintances, friends and relatives. We met on our own and while dating, we didn't even mention these people because why would I think he might know them? It was only after marriage when these things came to light. Like the example above, I had no idea that the church lady was closely related to my husband until one day my mil planned to visit and stay with them. I asked why and my husband explained that the church lady's husband is my mil's first cousin. I shared that we used to go to the same church and one time she sent away for some herbal medicine because I was sick. My husband claimed that he remembers. He remembers having to package some herbs and sending it overnight so the herbs would stay fresh. The only reason why it's clear to him is because my mil kept getting on his case to make sure that it was overnighted. 

There are just so many coincidences. It could also be a Hmong thing. The world can be so small sometimes.






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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?
« Reply #40 on: September 05, 2022, 02:53:15 AM »
I want to revisit this thread again.

I still stand by my previous response. Nonetheless, decades ago I made a rash decision that sent my life on the wrong trajectory when I should have waited on God's timeline. The husband was sent to me for a reason. He was the one that God intended for me at that time. I don't regret marrying my husband since we do live a good and comfortable life. There is mutual love, kindness, and friendship. However, the universe has a way of opening and closing doors. I also admit that at the time I wasn't mature enough to know how to complement the kind of man whom I could fall deeply in love with.

So to answer the question, "if I could start over again, would I be with the person that I'm with?"

I realize now that it was never up to me to determine the outcome once I made that bad decision. But whatever was delayed, the universe is restoring. I honestly don't know where any of this is leading but it's quite clear that a door is closing.   



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