Author Topic: Am I the only one seeing this about our Hmong traditional practices?  (Read 388 times)

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Offline techy

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In growing up and with better understanding of human psychology, I start to realize that many Hmong people are using traditional practices as a way to "bully" others.

A very generic example, I often hear is that "if you don't come help us this weekend, we're not going to help you next week end."  Why can't we help for the sake of helping or do you think this is appropriate behavior.  There are definitely worst examples from funeral and wedding traditional practices.  Anyone else seeing this?

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Offline Reporter

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Re: Am I the only one seeing this about our Hmong traditional practices?
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2018, 02:24:08 PM »
I agree.

I keep saying our traditions are financially motivated. Your example is an exchange of efforts, which is also equated into money or payments. You pay us this week, we pay you back next week in labor. If you don't pay us in labor now, we won't owe you for next week and then you'll have to hire help: paying someone else money to do what needs to be done.

All these helping hands at weddings and funerals equate to financial loans for one another. Nothing is free, even when the payment isn't there when you are rendering services.

I'll treat you to lunch soon, okay? It's all on me with no strings attached.  But if you don't have enough manners to treat me back, I won't ever treat you again. :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Am I the only one seeing this about our Hmong traditional practices?
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2018, 04:21:29 AM »
I see it from both sides.

Those who tend to complain about it are typically younger people who never lift a finger to help. It's easy for them to expect others to perform arduous work (like slaughter a cow and prepare the meat, give up weekends, loan their cookware - them huge pots aren't cheap and neither are Hmong knives - and so on).

Yes, young people, when it comes to you glorious gods and goddesses, we should all sell our first born and give away the farm in order to come help your marriage to that wife who doesn't give a s.hit about the rest of the clan (will never remember our names or acknowledge our relation), or bury your parents because you're too clueless to know the Hmong burial rites.

Anybody whose ever had to actually be responsible for getting stuff done at Hmong events know that it's long and tiring work. Everybody is wasteful, most who think they're helping are usually just in the way and distracting the workers, and causing more confusion about how to get stuff done.   

Don't help out if you don't plan on having big future events where you need laborers. But certainly do not throw out that Hmoob yuav tsum sib hlub Hmoob crap when you need the help but haven't put in the time at other people's event. 

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