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Author Topic: The childless factor.....  (Read 6533 times)

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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2018, 11:19:02 AM »
Yeah, it is like a hot mess as there is a science that explains to why she is the way she is.  Like eating at the buffet, pick any combination to complete your order. 


Overall, the rising prevalence of childlessness is one aspect of the diversity of life-cycle experience among people of reproductive age. It arises from a combination of varied phenomena including: the decline of social pressures to marry and bear children, inability to find a partner, lack of interest in finding a partner, insufficient commitment in relationships, concern about the durability of relationships, concern about the prospects for children in insecure environments, financial problems and constraints, difficulties in combining parenting and employment, dislike of children, postponement of childbearing, declining fecundity at older ages of family formation, and pursuit of careers and material consumption.

Read more: Childlessness - Explanations - Family, Development, Marriage, and Women - JRank Articles http://family.jrank.org/pages/241/Childlessness-Explanations.html#ixzz5V3RmyMPR




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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2018, 11:29:26 AM »
Yep, they are heading for divorce.  Typically Hmong

Being unmarried is one of the strongest predictors of childlessness. It has also been suggested through research that married individuals who were concerned about the stability of their marriages were more likely to remain childless.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voluntary_childlessness



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2018, 11:34:43 AM »
How can I join this group?  Wtf right?  :2funny:

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (VHEMT[A]) is an environmental movement that calls for all people to abstain from reproduction to cause the gradual voluntary extinction of humankind

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voluntary_Human_Extinction_Movement



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2018, 12:06:49 PM »
I found the word I'm looking for folks.  It is called hedonism.

Hedonism is a school of thought that argues that the pursuit of pleasure and intrinsic goods are the primary or most important goals of human life.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism

Great mind like Plato is against you.

Anti-hedonists from Plato on have suggested that most people who devote themselves to pleasure-seeking are living a lie. Either they deny their own truest longing — in Plato's case, for eternity — or they deny how austere (and spiritually unfulfilling) a life devoted to pleasure really is. If someone truly feels no sign of dissatisfactio n at the prospect of pursuing one pleasure after another until both the desires and their satisfaction simply wink out of existence at the moment of death, then such a person might be a consistent hedonist, might really consider pleasure the highest good.

https://www.theweek.com/articles-amp/548430/selfdeception-intentionally-childless



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #19 on: October 26, 2018, 12:13:54 PM »
I don't see anything that say childless married couple will end up in divorce in this blog. You?


The 10 Most Common Reasons People get Divorced


1. Getting in for the wrong reasons.

Marrying for money -- we've all heard that that is a ticket to a quick divorce, but what about when you marry because it's what you think you should do?

I've met many divorced women who say the problems that made them leave were there right from the beginning but "everyone expected us to live happily ever after" or "we had already spent so much money on the wedding" or "we had just built our dream home." So, remember, until you say "I do," you always have the choice to say "I don't!"

2. Lack of individual identity.

A codependent relationship is not healthy. When you don't have your own interests or the opportunity to express yourself outside of coupledom, you become "couple dumb."

If you are not comfortable doing things without your partner, or you don't know what kind of music, movies, or food you used to like, you are likely in deep and you probably feel like you are drowning and don't know why.

3. Becoming lost in the roles.

Just as many couples "forget" their single friends and single ways when they get married, when you add children into the mix, most parents soon neglect or completely forget that they are a couple.

As children grow and need less attention, many husbands and wives find that they have grown apart and they can't remember why they ever got married in the first place because they no longer have anything in common.

4. Not having a shared vision of success.

"Everything changed when we got married!" He drives you crazy because you're a saver and he's a spender. Your idea of a weekend getaway is a cozy cottage in the woods; your partner wants to the hit the town and catch a game. He thinks it's your job to cook and clean, but you disagree.

Why didn't he mention these things before? Maybe you should have asked. Chances are that he hasn't changed -- your expectations did. Is it possible to survive major differences in philosophy? It is possible, but many do not.

5. The intimacy disappears.

Somewhere in a marriage there is a subtle change in the intimacy department. One person has an off day, there is a misunderstandi ng or someone doesn't feel well. Then there's the idea that he isn't as romantic or she isn't as sexual.

Whoever is the one with the subtle change can trigger a downward spiral in the intimacy department. Men generally need sexual receptivity to feel romantic and women generally need romance to be sexual receptive. As long as both people are getting what they need, they willingly provide what the other person wants. However, when there is a lessening on either's part, that can trigger a pulling back in the other. If gone unnoticed and unchecked, before the couple realizes, they are seriously intimately estranged and wonder what happened. This can lead to divorce as couples begin to feel unloved and unappreciated.

6. Unmet expectations.

Somewhere written into a human's genetic code lie the instruction that when a person isn't happy, he or she is supposed to force his/her significant to make the changes required to make the unhappy person happy again. This usually takes the form of complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and/or bribing.

When one or both people in the marriage are attempting to coerce each other into doing things they don't want to do for their partner's happiness, it is a recipe for disaster. When you are unhappy in a relationship, it's okay to ask for the change you want. But, if your partner doesn't oblige you, then you become responsible for your own happiness.

7. Finances.

It's not usually the lack of finances that causes the divorce, but the lack of compatibility in the financial arena.

Opposites can attract but when two people are opposites in the financial department, divorce often ensues. Imagine the conflict if one is a saver and one is a spender. One is focused on the future while the other believes in living for today. One has no problem buying on credit, while the other believes in saving up for what one wants.

Over time, this conflict can reach such heights that divorce seems to be the only logical conclusion.

8. Being out of touch... literally.

I'm talking about physical contact. Of course, sex is great, but you also need to supplement it with little hello and goodbye kisses, impromptu hugs and simply holding hands. Couples who don't maintain an intimate connection through both sexual and non-sexual actions are destined to become virtual strangers.

9. Different priorities and interests.

Having shared interests and exploring them together is essential for a successful marriage. Of course, having "me time" is important as well, but unless you can find common passions and look for ways to experience them together, you'll inevitably grow farther and farther apart.

10. Inability to resolve conflicts.

Every couple has disagreements. The key is to develop ground rules so that each partner feels respected and heard. Sometimes it takes a third party "referee" to help define those rules and teach us to move through the charged emotions so resentments don't linger.

Here goes your 66%.  That's you.  :2funny:

Divorce rate childless couples
If you have a childless marriage. The absence of children leads to loneliness, and at least 66 percent of divorced couples in the United States are childless.

Yes, according to journalist Anneli Rufus, whose number crunching discovered that of the divorced couples in the United States, 66 percent are childless compared with 40 percent who have kids. Why? Evidently, the "absence of children leads to loneliness and weariness
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/are-childfree-couples-doo_b_913051/amp




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Offline Mr_Mechanic

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #20 on: October 26, 2018, 12:22:15 PM »
Oh my Gawd!!!!  3 page of nonsense...... .your life, your choice.  Whether 20 kids or zero kids, whatever makes you/couples happy.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #21 on: October 26, 2018, 12:24:31 PM »
Oh my Gawd!!!!  3 page of nonsense...... .your life, your choice.  Whether 20 kids or zero kids, whatever makes you/couples happy.

Yeah but some people do not accept the public announcement that I gave with facts. 

I'm getting tired.  I need to go visit other people's thread too.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #22 on: October 26, 2018, 12:41:45 PM »

Did you not take Philosophy course in college? Glad you learned something new today.

Glad to be a part of your life.  Don't forget about me when you do have children. 



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #23 on: October 26, 2018, 12:43:40 PM »
that was fast....the MIB came knocking on my door fast....the Aliens advise me to removed what I wrote fast...haha

Until then, the battle was lost, but the war continues..... for now, just ride along folks....I still remember my promise to the world...no worries...haha

Just letting you know that I have read it.  Your secret is good with me.   :2funny:



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #24 on: October 26, 2018, 12:54:35 PM »
You don't need marriage. You can get a power of attorney for each other and include the other in your will.

Whatever it is, stop distorting marriage for your own amusement, people!

Marriage is a real thing with real meaning. Don't get into it if you don't plan to uphold the real definition and intent.

I do agree with this.  People don’t need to get married if they prefer not to have kids.....but people do because of the advantages that marriage brings.


« Last Edit: October 26, 2018, 12:56:55 PM by tRouBLe »

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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #25 on: October 26, 2018, 01:00:48 PM »
There are plenty of articles online just about everything and anything. I'm not that gullible to believe everything that is ever written.

Not everyone think the way you do, it's their body, their life, their choice. So enough with the judging. No matter what you do, people will talk shit. So just live the way you want to live and be true to yourself even if the world is against you. That's true happiness!

I'm glad you acknowledged the fact that people will talk chit about you hence when I said that people will gawk at you, I knew I was up to something. 

Like I said before, you do what is best for you but always know what you are getting yourself into.  The road less travelled, many people may not see but only say so and so out of concern. 

Through my limited research, I was able to see the many classification that labels you and the tolerance if society that speaks upon it. 

Just like being gay.  If it is by choice then that's a no no but if biological like infertility then that is more understandable

I will share with you this.  During my mid life crisis stages if my life, I looked at other people's kids and go awe.  It was short lived and a phase in my life.  You will get yours and it will be more overwhelming because by nature, a female carries the womb so at a certain age, you will hear this motherly instinct kicking on in. 

That's all I need to say and for you to be aware of it.  I have read other people's testimonial who were like you, by choice but are their late 50's, the age of no return and we'll.... I'm not going to feed you anymore to what I know. 

Bless be with you and good luck, we are done here. 



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #26 on: October 26, 2018, 02:17:55 PM »
Tell us why again are we digging into other cases of failed marriages or regret mom when they are not on trial here?  Even if you do go there, what their failure has to do with you and your childlessness phobia?

We are talking about your case and since you brought up Facebook, here goes a childless mother group therapy blog for you.   :2funny:

https://m.facebook.com/thechildlessmother/



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Offline DuMa

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Re: The childless factor.....
« Reply #27 on: October 26, 2018, 03:35:43 PM »
Judgmental. Narrow Minded. Uneducated. You think like a child and yet you feel strongly about procreating :idiot2:.

Thanks for entertaining me the past few days while I'm getting over my cold. Just remember, It's not little DUMASS responsibility to take care of you, be there for you when you're feeling lonely, to make you feel loved, and to be by your bedside because you're too afraid to die alone, or prevent people from gawking at you.     

Thank you and don't forget.... Without children, it'll just be you and your Korean husband in this world.   Divorcee isn't something new with the Hmong either.  Korean is not exempt from a growing epidemic with their own divorce rate either. 

Divorce ― once seen as a taboo subject ― is becoming more common around the world, including Korea, as couples choose it over an unhappy marriage.
https://m.scmp.com/news/asia/east-asia/article/2059241/spiking-divorce-rate-changes-korean-laws-and-marriages

Once again.  Good luck but never good riddance.   :2funny:



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