My mom called my crying...

[bloggersdigest]

Last night my Mom called me. 

For as long as I knew and could remember, my Dad’s always been cheating on my Mom. 

She told me my dad was leaving to go to Laos in a few days with an uncle. 
My Mom said my Dad's been seeing someone over there and did not care if my mom approved of him going or not and that he was going to go.  My mom told me that my dad did not care if he came back and she was here or not. 

He said if she does not like it then to pack up her things, take half the money and leave.  I started crying...  My Mom said she called to tell me this because she did not know who to talk to anymore and she was hurt with all the things he said.  I asked my Mom why she didn’t just leave and she could not give me an answer.  She told me she told my Dad that if he did not want her anymore to call the relatives and send her back to her family.  My dad said no that he did not do anything wrong and that if she wanted to leave she can leave herself and that he was not going to send her back.  I got super angry.  Super angry that my Dad would do this and super angry that my Mom won’t leave.. 
My mom said the only way she would leave is if he brought someone back with him. 

I kept telling her I don’t understand why she doesn’t just leave him!  I told her us kids are always here for her and my home is always open for her!   I guess it’s easier said than done.  I can’t begin to understand the things going on and I can’t force my Mom to leave him.  I really don’t know what to do anymore…
My dad won’t send her because he feels he did and is doing nothing wrong.  He does not want to look back and send her back.  Little does he know he already looks bad and is already talked about.

My mom won’t leave because she did nothing wrong.  She’s endured it this many years already and can endure more.  She thinks that one of these days he will change. 

[Gucci K]

tell your mom to "ua siab ntev.."

your dad will only be gone a few weeks, maybe a month at the latest.  he's only going overseas to visit his relatives. ha!

[bloggersdigest]

tell your mom to "ua siab ntev.."

your dad will only be gone a few weeks, maybe a month at the latest.  he's only going overseas to visit his relatives. ha!

Relative my a$$ 

[Mr_Mechanic]

Sounds like a May Vang story in the making.

[Gucci K]

Relative my a$$ 

LOL...or you could tell your mom to be scandalous and steal/hide his ids/passport...can't get on the plane without it.

the next step is to talk to your dad, tell him "tsis txhob tu siab.." if he goes.  mom is going to get a replacement. ha!

[DuMa]

Typically Hmong stories I've heard one too many.

Well here's an option that these weak minded wives in Cali are doing.  Turn a blind eye.  They live as domestic partners so no sex.  People starts to do what they have to do.  It becomes a business transaction.  They are only married on papers for perks. 

The kids can go live with whoever they want or feels who is the perps or victims here.

Or go a step lower and bring the nam yau into the family to help your mom with chores.  One big laughing family. 

[Mr_Mechanic]

I like to write more but this pretty much explains itself.

[thePoster]

The reason why your mom wont leave is becuase at the age she is at, its hard to be independent when she was dependent so long.  She just dont know.  Its scary for her out there.  Who is she going to lean on?  Even though your dad was/is bad just having him there, knowing he is there gives her reassurance that she can handle things that comes her way.  Plus, at her age she knows its alot harder to find another suitor.  Its a horrible feelng when she knows she will be out there in the world alone.  Yes shes got you kids but its still different.

I dont really know what to tell you.  And you know your parents wont listen to you either, they probably still view you like little kids unfortunatley thats how all parents view thier kids no matter how old they are.

[theking]

Typically Hmong stories I've heard one too many.

In the Hmong society, married men can have a mistress openly or even marry her as their second wife so I'm not surprised at that primitive behavior...

[theking]

He said if she does not like it then to pack up her things, take half the money and leave.  I started crying...  My Mom said she called to tell me this because she did not know who to talk to anymore and she was hurt with all the things he said.  I asked my Mom why she didn’t just leave and she could not give me an answer.  She told me she told my Dad that if he did not want her anymore to call the relatives and send her back to her family.  My dad said no that he did not do anything wrong and that if she wanted to leave she can leave herself and that he was not going to send her back.  I got super angry.  Super angry that my Dad would do this and super angry that my Mom won’t leave.. 
My mom said the only way she would leave is if he brought someone back with him. 

Yep, it's up to your mom to empowered herself to leave....This is America so she doesn't need to go through the primitive route anymore...

As far as your dad claiming his not "wrong" goes, he's correct to a degree based on some of the male created norms in the Hmong male dominant society, men can have mistresses/girlfriends on the side openly....Sad but true..