ladies.. a few questions..

[YAX]

How much do you love your husband?

Is your love unconditional?

So anyway...If your husband came to you and confessed that he cheated on you, maybe, not once, but several times with several different woman, but he has since realized he was wrong to do so and asks for your forgiveness. Even begged for your forgiveness.  Keep in mind, you never knew or suspected this, he just confessed on his own because he felt he's a changed man. Would you forgive him or kick him out for cheating on you?

[Dok_Champa]

It's tough.  People have to do what's comfortable for them. I believe in second chances but not third.  Fool me once and maybe twice but third, no.

[theking]

It's tough.  People have to do what's comfortable for them. I believe in second chances but not third.  Fool me once and maybe twice but third, no.

That sounds like a "depends"reply .... with the "It's tough" and "maybe" stuff...

[theking]

Sadly in the Hmong society with a traditional sense, Hmong women don't really have much of a say in the matter as married men can have mistresses openly and even married them as second, third, ...wife...sad but true.

Fortunately, we live in this great country where women can have equal rights and voice...

[Dok_Champa]

Well, Depends guy, in this case, depends is the appropriate answer and there's no right or wrong way to react to this situation.  Some people is first strike you're out type.   I believe in second chances type.  Some people believe in third and or fourth chances, but that's not me.  Everybody is different.

[Dok_Champa]

Sadly in the Hmong society with a traditional sense, Hmong women don't really have much of a say in the matter as married men can have mistresses openly and even married them as second, third, ...wife...sad but true.

Fortunately, we live in this great country where women can have equal rights and voice...

Not always true.  Even in this great country, you still find women willing to be second, or third wife...AND even college grads..can you believe it!  The college grad probably made decision by choice. But for many women, even in this great country of ours, they still have their own challenges, financial, etc.. and still rely on a man to get by.  When a woman is independent (can take care of herself financially) she is less likely to become a 2nd wife, has more options.  The road to independence/self empowerment starts with an education.    Get that and the possibilities are endless (minus the second wife).

[theking]

Not always true.  Even in this great country, you still find women willing to be second, or third wife...AND even college grads..can you believe it!  The college grad probably made decision by choice. But for many women, even in this great country of ours, they still have their own challenges, financial, etc.. and still rely on a man to get by.  When a woman is independent (can take care of herself financially) she is less likely to become a 2nd wife, has more options.  The road to independence/self empowerment starts with an education.    Get that and the possibilities are endless (minus the second wife).

Yep, even though women have equal rights and say in this great country, some still feel like they need to follow the primitive ways even if it bothers them...some still have a sense of hopelessness.. .instead of empowering themselves and get out of a miserable situation...sa d but true...

[Dok_Champa]

Yep, even though women have equal rights and say in this great country, some still feel like they need to follow the primitive ways even if it bothers them...some still have a sense of hopelessness.. .instead of empowering themselves and get out of a miserable situation...sa d but true...

What's more primitive - the culture of this great country of ours where people can have numerous partners, have babies w/ different women and still claim to be "single" and or "monogamous" or our culture where a man is encouraged to take responsibiliti es for his own actions which means be polygamous if he's married.  It teaches/enforces responsibiliti es.  Bottom line: If a man doesn't want another woman, don't mess w/ one.  If you mess w/ one, she's coming and sometimes coming to stay

 

[DuMa]

Loose lips, sink ships, Don't do it.  Whoever told you to confess your sins is either A, like a Jesus or B, a survey collector for scientific purposes. 

What she don't know, don't hurt so no harm no foul. 

Take it to your grave or take it to the next chick.

[theking]

What's more primitive - the culture of this great country of ours where people can have numerous partners, have babies w/ different women and still claim to be "single" and or "monogamous" or our culture where a man is encouraged to take responsibiliti es for his own actions which means be polygamous if he's married.  It teaches/enforces responsibiliti es.  Bottom line: If a man doesn't want another woman, don't mess w/ one.  If you mess w/ one, she's coming and sometimes coming to stay

That's easy, the one that treats women like second class citizen/dirt, and don't allowed women to have a say in the matter such as husband cheating with mistresses/girlfriends and/or even married them as second, third, ...wives.. despite how miserable the first wives are...about the whole situation..

[Dok_Champa]

That's easy, the one that treats women like second class citizen/dirt, and don't allowed women to have a say in the matter such as husband cheating with mistresses/girlfriends and/or even married them as second, third, ...wives.. despite how miserable the first wives are...about the whole situation..

What you're describing applies to almost every culture & race.  Maybe people may call it a different name but same thing.  But at least for us, the Hmong, we take responsibiliti es seriously.  Don't believe me, take a girl out...and get her preggo...there's your future wife and it's going to be tough to get out of the situation.  Back in the days, forget about preggo...just stay past the curfew and you've got yourself a wife too

[theking]

What you're describing applies to almost every culture & race.  Maybe people may call it a different name but same thing.  But at least for us, the Hmong, we take responsibiliti es seriously.  Don't believe me, take a girl out...and get her preggo...there's your future wife and it's going to be tough to get out of the situation.  Back in the days, forget about preggo...just stay past the curfew and you've got yourself a wife too

It might apply to some cultures that share similar primitive ways (treating women like dirt) but here in this great country if your husband cheats on you or has mistresses openly on the side or even married them as his second, third, ...wife, you as his current wife have the right to say no...and fight him with equal rights and equal say...

In a Hmong society back in Laos, you protest those things, you could get beat up by your husband, and still can't do nothing about it...Nothing a wife can do about it short of killing herself, her husband or her husband's mistresses...t o stop that misery...from what I've seen in Laos...Sad but true...

[Fancee]

From just reading this today, I WILL never forgive him.  It will hurt me forever.
But until I am in that situation, only then will I know what I'll do.  Feelings change.  People change.  Saying one thing now means differently later on.

I hope all of us will never cross such bridge.

[YAX]

There's a difference between unconditional love and betrayal. If my husband was sick and no longer able to take care himself, looses an arm or leg, I'd still be with him and love him unconditionall y. If he's out cheating on me, no way in hell will I take him back. That's straight up betrayal, what is love when the trust is no longer there.

but what if it was his cheating that made him realize the difference between love and lust and he realizes that it's you he loves and the others were just wasted lust and he became a better man who can appreciate you and truly love you now because of his experiences?

[Gucci K]

it takes a lot for a man to just confess.  if the confession comes with legitimate reasoning, such as lack of sex in the current relationship, having sex for money, and/or because he was forced to have sex...then he should be forgiven for his sins. ha!