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Author Topic: Difficult Marriage Life  (Read 3440 times)

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Offline Mr_Mechanic

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #135 on: June 11, 2019, 09:18:14 AM »
when a wife ask to go solo, she's probably have something else on her mind. 



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Offline Risingstars

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #136 on: June 11, 2019, 09:22:30 AM »
when a wife ask to go solo, she's probably have something else on her mind.
And this is how the argument starts...becau se then she says I'm assuming her and also I'm thinking for her already...



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Offline Mr_Mechanic

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #137 on: June 11, 2019, 09:26:39 AM »
And this is how the argument starts...becau se then she says I'm assuming her and also I'm thinking for her already...
in that case......let her go.  maybe she just wants to clear her mind.  as a husband and a wife, in today's society, one can't hold onto one another.  I see it this way.  if your in love, you would want your s/o to be with you.  especially on a vacation trip.  just me though.

another thing.....can't make/force one to love you.  he/she must love you on their terms.  what you do between that is up to you. 



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Offline Risingstars

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #138 on: June 11, 2019, 09:30:35 AM »
in that case......let her go.  maybe she just wants to clear her mind.  as a husband and a wife, in today's society, one can't hold onto one another.  I see it this way.  if your in love, you would want your s/o to be with you.  especially on a vacation trip.  just me though.

another thing.....can't make/force one to love you.  he/she must love you on their terms.  what you do between that is up to you.

Yeah, every where I go i want my wife to go with me. Especially on vacation and long distance driving...but now she has a different taste...not sure if she is eating someone else's food or if she is still eating my food. If you know what that means...



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #139 on: June 11, 2019, 09:41:45 AM »
Working on a relationship doesnít mean going on vacation by yourself or with friends.

If she really wants space and feels that the grass may be greener on the other side, separate temporarily then decide on whether you both want to reconcile.  Of course, it may be harder to get back together for the person who remained faithful.



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Offline ProudLao

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #140 on: June 11, 2019, 10:12:17 AM »
This is something I was afraid of....

Listen to your heart. It does not lie.



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Offline theking

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #141 on: June 11, 2019, 12:05:23 PM »
Update: I'm getting my marriage back on track again and we've been working together on our marriage. She then asked me this question and it got me really thinking that is she really in this marriage for fun or if she really wants to with old with me. She ask that if I can let her go on vacation by herself. I cant be with her and the kids cant be with her. Since I made her quit work, I would have to pay for her plane ticket, hotel and rental car, and spending money. I told her that I have never seen married couples leave each other like that and then she says yes there are and that their marriage is way better then ours. Then I told her that why didn't she think about going on vacation back when she wasn't married to me for her to go all out like what she wants to do now. Can anyone chim in and put yourself in my shoes and see if she is really loves me or if she is just a waste of my time?

"Can anyone chim in"


Yes, she needs space to clear her mind and to think through of all the good and bad things she's gone through with you by HERSELF (with no kids to distract her) to see if the relationship is worth saving or not...

If she thinks it's worth saving then she'll probably work with you or try to find a compromise, and if she doesn't think it's worth saving, she'll probably seek a divorce.

And if you say no, then she'll just blame it on your "small heart" which you've admitted to having and that could cause her to seek a divorce anyways..

Can't force someone to love (regardless of the situation)...Doing so will just cause more resentment and thus, make matters worst.




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Offline theking

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #142 on: June 11, 2019, 12:08:54 PM »
And this is how the argument starts...becau se then she says I'm assuming her and also I'm thinking for her already...

Of course...becau se NO TRUST= NO LOVE ...IMO



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Offline theking

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #143 on: June 11, 2019, 12:23:50 PM »
Oh I should also add that if you're afraid of your wife cheating on you, not allowing her to go on a vacation alone won't stop that because she can still do it just about anywhere if she really wants to i.e., at home, at work, in a car, at a store, etc.

Kind of like that article I've pointed out where, there's actually more people cheating at the church than the clubs...



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #144 on: June 11, 2019, 01:04:56 PM »
Marriage isnít like how it used to be.  Nowadays, itís more about ďmeĒ and not ďus.Ē  If Iím not happy, I want to leave.  Marriage takes work and if both parties arenít willing to compromise and work on it, it wonít survive.  Keep in mind, Iím not referring to dysfunctional relationships and/or any type of abuse (emotional, mental, physical, substance abuse, etc. etc.).



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #145 on: June 11, 2019, 02:51:07 PM »
Rising:  Since you already made the decision to work on your marriage that means have unconditional trust for your partner.  Of course it's hard to do but if you don't, you're going to fall back into old habits/routines of distrust, pointing fingers at one another, blaming, etc..

Trust your gut instinct and heart as well.  The advice given is more "up there/in the head" but when you add that to your gut and heart will give you a clearer picture.  You know your wife better than anyone.  We're not telling you to make excuses for her behaviors or yours but  confronts reality heads on courageously, honestly, and sincerely which means looking within ourselves and go from there.

I do agree that sometimes love needs a holiday...like this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1yeC2wmtzw





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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline lilly

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #146 on: June 11, 2019, 03:30:15 PM »
I think that if your wife thinks she wants to go on an alone trip, you should let her go.  You guys have been through a lot in your relationship recently, she probably needs alone time to think about your relationship, as theking stated.  You should give her the benefit of the doubt and allow her this space to clear her head.  If she comes back with a renewed, refreshed perspective to give new life to your marriage, all the better.  If she comes back and says she wants a divorce, all the better too.  Either way, you'll know where you stand with her.  Better to know now than let things run on longer than necessary.  Wasted time is something you can't get back, my friend.



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Offline Cali Guy

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #147 on: June 11, 2019, 07:06:16 PM »
Sounds like your situation might be doomed, might as well enjoy the ride to the fullest.



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Offline ProudLao

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #148 on: June 11, 2019, 07:30:19 PM »
Marriage isnít like how it used to be.  Nowadays, itís more about ďmeĒ and not ďus.Ē  If Iím not happy, I want to leave.  Marriage takes work and if both parties arenít willing to compromise and work on it, it wonít survive.  Keep in mind, Iím not referring to dysfunctional relationships and/or any type of abuse (emotional, mental, physical, substance abuse, etc. etc.).

Of course itís about ďmeĒ whatís ďusĒ did you mean USA? Lol ;D



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I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

Theravada

Offline Risingstars

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Re: Difficult Marriage Life
« Reply #149 on: June 11, 2019, 08:05:23 PM »
Sounds like your situation might be doomed, might as well enjoy the ride to the fullest.
True, but you only know today and not tomorrow. Maybe this is the beginning of a new chapter in life.



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"Noj zaub yuav rau roj, ua neeg nyob yuav tsum ua siab loj"

 

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