My daily support...If you want to complain.

[VillainousHero]

V, did you ever get remarried?

Nope.  At this point in life I learned my lesson.  I will stay a trophy.    better for my health and sanity.

[VillainousHero]

What can hurt us the most: The people we love.

The only people who can betray us are the ones we trust.

[Believe_N_Me]

I get it. If you haven't found a woman who is marriage material AND more importantly, also deeply attracted to you as you are to her, then it probably is best to stay single at this age.

Many older people marry for reputation, to avoid being alone, convenience, and so forth. But when I think about it, at this age "being in love" is the only reason to marry.

I'll use myself as an example. I don't need the big house, to impress family, to be a power couple, and so on. I'd want someone who I enjoy being around and be madly in love with. 

[VillainousHero]

I get it. If you haven't found a woman who is marriage material AND more importantly, also deeply attracted to you as you are to her, then it probably is best to stay single at this age.

Many older people marry for reputation, to avoid being alone, convenience, and so forth. But when I think about it, at this age "being in love" is the only reason to marry.

I'll use myself as an example. I don't need the big house, to impress family, to be a power couple, and so on. I'd want someone who I enjoy being around and be madly in love with.

My personal values in marriage is so simple that looking for companionship is so not exciting that yeah it means no drama in life.  I guess most people can't handle that.  Seems people like to always pick fights or in other words criticize or contradict to feed their own ego or some other goals.  At best maybe being like transcendental ism rather than being part of keeping up with the johns.  Since marriage is out, staying single is okay.  People will talk still, but they will at least put into part of the conversation that "He still look so young." even though I'm part of the old over the hill geezers now.

[VillainousHero]

Those that complains about a hard life...

Make the hard decisions in life early to accomplish an easier life later.

Making easy decisions early in life will only lead to harder results later in life.

Seems not as much people make a plan for their life expectancies.  1/3 of your life growing up.  1/3 of your life cultivating a family and planning for your retirement.  1/3 of your life settled down with retirement.

[Believe_N_Me]

My personal values in marriage is so simple that looking for companionship is so not exciting that yeah it means no drama in life.  I guess most people can't handle that.  Seems people like to always pick fights or in other words criticize or contradict to feed their own ego or some other goals.  At best maybe being like transcendental ism rather than being part of keeping up with the johns.  Since marriage is out, staying single is okay.  People will talk still, but they will at least put into part of the conversation that "He still look so young." even though I'm part of the old over the hill geezers now.

It's harder to find commitment nowadays when so many are willing to give away the cow for free. Why would any man take a good woman seriously when he can move in with any desperate divorcee? Some of these divorcees will even put up with the boyfriend dating on the side.  She might be angry and call the other woman nasty names, but she won't put him out.

[Believe_N_Me]

Just wanted to add:

Maybe they are like a Hmong grandma that I know, who is in her late 80s. Her boyfriend is moving in with her. It's nice for them to have a companion.

[Reporter]

What can hurt us the most: The people we love.

The only people who can betray us are the ones we trust.

Those you trust know your weak spots the most.

[Believe_N_Me]

You two are too broken.

That's because you gave away your love and the best of yourself to toxic women, whom you willingly chose and pursued out of all the women that you could've had and showed interest in you. This, I can tell just from your responses.

You don't have anything left to give and even if you did, you're too fearful and will hold back. No good woman deserves that and if you don't self-sabotage first (like broken people tend to do), she'll start to check out - especially if and when she meets a confident man with healthy relationship experiences.

[VillainousHero]

Everyone, everything is programmed for self destruction.  Yet everyone and everything somehow yearns for life in some form or mode.

[Believe_N_Me]

A male friend of mine from the early days of Hmong social media (before I was married) said that no man can just live by himself for that long unless he is gay. A man is going to have sexual urges and need companionship. Therefore, if he's not the social type who goes out to sleep with a lot of chicks, then he's the quiet type who strings along an on and off again girlfriend for years. This is how his urges are met.

Now that I am older, I do see the point that he was making. I noticed that a lot of single/divorced/widowed men in my age group or older fall into those two categories. Heck, we even have a grandmother in her late 80s who just moved in a boyfriend! He has no plans to marry her and I don't think she even cares because they're both too old now.

There are desperate older divorcees in their 50s and up who no longer feel hopeful about getting remarried. As long as there is a man in her house who can help with chores once in awhile then she's okay with it. But the women don't even expect them to be like a real couple either. They both do their own thing and come and go as they please in the house. The women do still feel very jealous if they know that he's seeing other women so things like that have to be done behind her back - even though she probably knows that it's inevitably going to happen since they're not married or in a monogamous relationship. They live together for the sake of not being alone and to have convenient sex. And if she's not giving it to him then he's just going to cheat. But she keeps taking him back and he keeps using her.

[VillainousHero]

Some people live a life in a meaningless way just seeking approval from others.

Instead, live a life in a meaningful way just to prove others are wrong about you.    ...and you only have to do it once.

[VillainousHero]

When hubris smiles...smile back. 

[Believe_N_Me]

^^^
What? 

[VillainousHero]

Cautions of life...

If there is no future, then just live for the moment. = adaptability

If only living for the moment, then there is really no future. = spontaneous

****

I use to think that people who describe themselves as spontaneous was a good trait.  Only to learn through experience repeatedly that it is really a terrible trait to have.