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Author Topic: I Love Hmong Boys  (Read 9078 times)

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Offline lilly

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I Love Hmong Boys
« on: July 10, 2019, 10:29:21 PM »
I love my Hmong boys, and I'll tell you why.

Because Hmong boys eat rice like me.  They grew up on pork and zaub ntsuab soup, boiled chicken (qaib vom), and know about and have ate qaib with Hmong herbs, and other common Hmong dishes, including pepper with cilantro/onion/lime.  There is just such a comforting feeling in knowing that you have a deep connection with each other because you grew up on the same food.  I love that I can conversate in Hmong with my Hmong boys. Even if they speak English more, they still understand and can speak Hmong with me.  They know what it's like when Hmong people ua neeb and hu plig even if they and I may not practice doing those things.  They know how Hmong parties are: chaotic, crowded, lively, and filled with lots of good food.  They know how annoying "Hmong time" can be but know that it's to be expected.  They are familiar with the Hmong customs and traditions, and know how Hmong weddings and funerals are like.  They've heard of and understand what it means when people say "tsov tom" (tiger bite) and "daj ntseg" (yellow ear) and other funny Hmong phrases.

There are just so many commonalities and it's just such a nice and comforting feeling to know you share a deep level of understanding and connection because you come from the same background.

BUT, I feel that my friends and my uncle may be right.  At my age there are not a lot of options if I am wanting just a Hmong boy.  If I want a Hmong boy that is a good person who's successful and single and who's my age, they're basically saying to me "good luck."  I'm not saying that I am looking because I am not in any hurry.  I'm just saying that if a man of another race has everything that I want, except for not being Hmong, I will be so sad.  Because my heart belongs with a Hmong boy.  But I know the possibility is there that I may not end up with a Hmong boy.  And this thought makes me sad.   :'(






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Offline lilly

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2019, 10:58:08 PM »
I guess I have come to the realization that my options with Hmong boys are limited after seeing many friends end up with other races.  I see other successful Hmong ladies with white guys, black guys, Hispanic guys, and other Asian guys.  This  says "somewhat" about the pool of available Hmong guys that's out there.  I know some Hmong ladies have a preference to be with non-Hmong guys, but I think it's also because there just isn't a lot of available Hmong guys that meet the Hmong women's standards and requirements.

The options are limited because the Hmong men that us single Hmong ladies are after are either:
- not available, or
- available but do not meet our standards



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Offline DuMa

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2019, 11:04:31 PM »
I get it.  You are allowed to have your wants and needs.  You can have this picture perfect guy in your mind and what not but reality is against us all to have that type of person.  Surely, some of us can get that type of person but at what cost?  Here is something you might be missing.  While you want your hmong boy to be this type of a person, this same hmong boy is allowed to have his picture perfect person and guess what?   You are not it.  So while you chasing him, he's chasing someone else so where does that lead you? 

I'm here to say that I feel bad for this non hmong guy that you think you will end up with.  I just hope he does not and will not ever hear you say this line and I will quote yourself " I'm just saying that if a man of another race has everything that I want, except for not being Hmong, I will be so sad." 



It is not all about you being sad, others will be sad for you.  You date hmong and you get fawked.  You date others and you be sad.  What is wrong with this equation? 

So in conclusion, I vowed myself that I will never be sad like you. 



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Offline lilly

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2019, 11:21:05 PM »
I get it.  You are allowed to have your wants and needs.  You can have this picture perfect guy in your mind and what not but reality is against us all to have that type of person.  Surely, some of us can get that type of person but at what cost?  Here is something you might be missing.  While you want your hmong boy to be this type of a person, this same hmong boy is allowed to have his picture perfect person and guess what?   You are not it.  So while you chasing him, he's chasing someone else so where does that lead you? 

I'm here to say that I feel bad for this non hmong guy that you think you will end up with.  I just hope he does not and will not ever hear you say this line and I will quote yourself " I'm just saying that if a man of another race has everything that I want, except for not being Hmong, I will be so sad." 



It is not all about you being sad, others will be sad for you.  You date hmong and you get fawked.  You date others and you be sad.  What is wrong with this equation? 

So in conclusion, I vowed myself that I will never be sad like you.

DuMa, you are so hilarious!  You're blowing what I said way out of proportion.  Yes, I'll be sad because I value sharing a lot of commonalities with my significant other, but that sadness is not going to last forever nor will it interfere with my relationship with the non-Hmong person.  Look at it this way, okay.  It's a want, not a need.  In a perfect scenario, I would "want" to be with a Hmong man but really I just "need" a good man that makes me happy.  I've dated other non-Hmong men before I was married and they were all great but there's just something next level when the person you're with understands who you are and where you come from on such a deep level where you need not explain anything about your culture to them.  It's really just a preference.  Just like choosing a black cell phone case vs a blue case.  You like the blue one more but if the store only has the black one in stock, you buy the black one and eventually you'll get used to it and love it as much as the blue one, if not more.  Same concept.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2019, 11:28:53 PM »
DuMa, you are so hilarious!  You're blowing what I said way out of proportion.  Yes, I'll be sad because I value sharing a lot of commonalities with my significant other, but that sadness is not going to last forever nor will it interfere with my relationship with the non-Hmong person.  Look at it this way, okay.  It's a want, not a need.  In a perfect scenario, I would "want" to be with a Hmong man but really I just "need" a good man that makes me happy.  I've dated other non-Hmong men before I was married and they were all great but there's just something next level when the person you're with understands who you are and where you come from on such a deep level where you need not explain anything about your culture to them.  It's really just a preference.  Just like choosing a black cell phone case vs a blue case.  You like the blue one more but if the store only has the black one in stock, you buy the black one and eventually you'll get used to it and love it as much as the blue one, if not more.  Same concept.

So what you are saying is that you want a samsung phone but the parts are made from apple? 

You want a non hmong guy without having to teach him the hmong culture.  What you are asking for is myself.   

Forget about it.   :2funny:


A reason why I learned all that I could about the hmong culture is because of women like yourself.  I am well equipped and when I say I'm viet but I show traits of hmong, oh boy, you would love to see how their eyes would lighten up. 

Not hmong so no male hmong pressure on my women but he's hmong enough to impress her hmong friends and parents. 

I already know how the game was won a long time ago.   :D



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Offline DuMa

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2019, 11:31:44 PM »
^ I agree to an extent.  Don't short yourself out by only going for Hmong people.  I'm not saying that everyone needs to date other races, but don't limit yourself to only Hmong guys. 


You can converse with anyone.  Anyone can respect tradition and culture even if they may not practice those things.  Anyone can understand and know the feeling.  Anyone can learn and experience how Hmong parties are.  Anyone can learn and deal with Hmong time (BTW, duck hmong time, i don't deal with that BS).  Anyone can learn about hmong customs and traditions.  Anyone can learn about the words and phrases.

Also.  Just because they are Hmong doesn't mean they will be able to do all that, that you just listed.  There are Hmong people who you can't converse with.  Hmong people who don't know or care about the culture. Hmong people who don't speak Hmong. Hmong people who don't care about traditions. 

I'll be blunt.  There are dozens of Hmong boys everywhere.  THey are a dime a dozen. You want a Hmong boy? post your facebook, they will come.  Hmong boys are everywhere.   Boys are everywhere.

What you are describing when you say someone who is successful.  I assume you mean a responsible male adult who has a steady job, can support the family, has goals, loving, respectful, etc..  Yea those qualities you will NEVER find in a Hmong boy, let alone any boy. And that reason is because, the person with those qualities, that's a MAN.  So if you want someone with that kind of ideal quality, you have to go search for a MAN. 

Single Men, we do exist, you just have to know what you're looking for and where.    You'll never find that Man if you keep searching for him in a group hmong boys, duckboys, and little kids.  And it'll definitely be harder if you short yourself out by only looking at Hmong boys.

A perfect hmong guy for her is a mirror images of herself.   I don't even know where to begin.  I see white wash hmong people but do white wash hmong people date each other? 






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Offline lilly

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2019, 11:44:30 PM »
So what you are saying is that you want a samsung phone but the parts are made from apple? 

You want a non hmong guy without having to teach him the hmong culture.  What you are asking for is myself.   

Forget about it.   :2funny:


A reason why I learned all that I could about the hmong culture is because of women like yourself.  I am well equipped and when I say I'm viet but I show traits of hmong, oh boy, you would love to see how their eyes would lighten up. 

Not hmong so no male hmong pressure on my women but he's hmong enough to impress her hmong friends and parents. 

I already know how the game was won a long time ago.   :D

Oh, man, Mr. DuMa, then you are the perfect non-Hmong guy for me!  ;D  ;D



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Offline DuMa

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2019, 11:52:20 PM »
DUMA. do you have a profanity filter on?  It says duckboys in your quote, but i typed duckboy. :/  lol.

I doubt White wash Hmong people even acknowledge eachother.  But you bring up an interesting thought.  Typically, a whitewashed hmong person would be judgmenetal and not want anything to do with Hmong people.  What would they say if they found out the other person is also whitewashed?  Argue who's more whitewashed?

Your filter is on, not mine.  I'm an adult so it does not bother me or my church much to see words for adults. 

Like adopted Korean tends not to date one another.  A white wash person are acting white cuz they trying to get a white person but here's the irony.  If you white, why would you want a white imitation white wash when you can get the real thing? 

People do things without thinking but that's fine.  They just need to learn it the hard way. 




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Offline lilly

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2019, 11:57:37 PM »
^ I agree to an extent.  Don't short yourself out by only going for Hmong people.  I'm not saying that everyone needs to date other races, but don't limit yourself to only Hmong guys. 


You can converse with anyone.  Anyone can respect tradition and culture even if they may not practice those things.  Anyone can understand and know the feeling.  Anyone can learn and experience how Hmong parties are.  Anyone can learn and deal with Hmong time (BTW, duck hmong time, i don't deal with that BS).  Anyone can learn about hmong customs and traditions.  Anyone can learn about the words and phrases.

Also.  Just because they are Hmong doesn't mean they will be able to do all that, that you just listed.  There are Hmong people who you can't converse with.  Hmong people who don't know or care about the culture. Hmong people who don't speak Hmong. Hmong people who don't care about traditions. 

I'll be blunt.  There are dozens of Hmong boys everywhere.  THey are a dime a dozen. You want a Hmong boy? post your facebook, they will come.  Hmong boys are everywhere.   Boys are everywhere.

What you are describing when you say someone who is successful.  I assume you mean a responsible male adult who has a steady job, can support the family, has goals, loving, respectful, etc..  Yea those qualities you will NEVER find in a Hmong boy, let alone any boy. And that reason is because, the person with those qualities, that's a MAN.  So if you want someone with that kind of ideal quality, you have to go search for a MAN. 

Single Men, we do exist, you just have to know what you're looking for and where.    You'll never find that Man if you keep searching for him in a group hmong boys, duckboys, and little kids.  And it'll definitely be harder if you short yourself out by only looking at Hmong boys.

I appreciate everything you said, Anonymouse!  And I agree.

Yes, I'd prefer a perfect Hmong "man" that has everything that I want.  Yes, I know that even if they are Hmong, they may not know, practice, or care about the same "Hmong" things that I care about.  Yes, I know I can't limit myself to just Hmong men.  Yes, I know other non-Hmong men can learn about and appreciate the Hmong culture even if they are not Hmong.

So, question for you then. Where can a single woman find a single, successful, responsible man who has a steady job, can support the family, has goals, loving, respectful, etc?



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Offline DuMa

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2019, 12:04:46 AM »
I appreciate everything you said, Anonymouse!  And I agree.

Yes, I'd prefer a perfect Hmong "man" that has everything that I want.  Yes, I know that even if they are Hmong, they may not know, practice, or care about the same "Hmong" things that I care about.  Yes, I know I can't limit myself to just Hmong men.  Yes, I know other non-Hmong men can learn about and appreciate the Hmong culture even if they are not Hmong.

So, question for you then. Where can a single woman find a single, successful, responsible man who has a steady job, can support the family, has goals, loving, respectful, etc?

Anonymous can answer it for you but here's my short answer.

You don't find them by looking.  You find them by mistake.   O0



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Offline lilly

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2019, 12:13:55 AM »
Anonymous can answer it for you but here's my short answer.

You don't find them by looking.  You find them by mistake.   O0

I totally agree!  I only asked Anonymouse "where" because he said I needed to know where to look.

But it's been my experience that you can't find the right person by looking. The right person usually comes to you by accident, by mistake, or by chance, when you're not even looking.



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Offline lilly

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2019, 12:47:54 AM »
But it's so much faster to jump to the finish line!  :P You mean I can't?   :D ;D

Anyway, I know you were generalizing and not making your remarks directly at me.  But I just want to say again that I am not looking because I know that if a person is meant to be he will come naturally in his own way and in his own time.  I'm super busy with my life to be in a relationship right now.  It was just a thought I had, where if I were to meet someone in the future I'd hoped that he'd be the kind of Hmong man that I envisioned in my head for him to be. And I would want him to be Hmong because then we'd share the same background and that would create an instant understanding and connection between us.

I don't have high expectations at all.  Just that he and I have chemistry, that he's a good man, is an ambitious, responsible, loving and caring person.

Oh, I was never into bad guys.  I was into nerds.  But I did blow off some other guys to be with this other guy who I thought was "nicer than all the rest".  But you never really know someone, do you?  Even when you think you know them and you think they are a nice guy, they can turn out to be a nightmare.  People can be playing mind games like what Gracified was teaching and hide who they really are so that you only find out who they really are after they've wasted so much of your time!



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Offline saki saki

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2019, 12:52:33 AM »
I love my Hmong boys, and I'll tell you why.

Because Hmong boys eat rice like me.  They grew up on pork and zaub ntsuab soup, boiled chicken (qaib vom), and know about and have ate qaib with Hmong herbs, and other common Hmong dishes, including pepper with cilantro/onion/lime.  There is just such a comforting feeling in knowing that you have a deep connection with each other because you grew up on the same food.  I love that I can conversate in Hmong with my Hmong boys. Even if they speak English more, they still understand and can speak Hmong with me.  They know what it's like when Hmong people ua neeb and hu plig even if they and I may not practice doing those things.  They know how Hmong parties are: chaotic, crowded, lively, and filled with lots of good food.  They know how annoying "Hmong time" can be but know that it's to be expected.  They are familiar with the Hmong customs and traditions, and know how Hmong weddings and funerals are like.  They've heard of and understand what it means when people say "tsov tom" (tiger bite) and "daj ntseg" (yellow ear) and other funny Hmong phrases.

There are just so many commonalities and it's just such a nice and comforting feeling to know you share a deep level of understanding and connection because you come from the same background.

BUT, I feel that my friends and my uncle may be right.  At my age there are not a lot of options if I am wanting just a Hmong boy.  If I want a Hmong boy that is a good person who's successful and single and who's my age, they're basically saying to me "good luck."  I'm not saying that I am looking because I am not in any hurry.  I'm just saying that if a man of another race has everything that I want, except for not being Hmong, I will be so sad.  Because my heart belongs with a Hmong boy.  But I know the possibility is there that I may not end up with a Hmong boy.  And this thought makes me sad.   :'(
why you keep say Hmong Boy?. Why not Hmong Menz?
Kinda odd unless ur a cougar or a Milf?. Lmao
I can not eat too much Americanized foods. I gotta have my hmong Zaub and wat not. I do my own Garden in my backyard.
I grow wat I want to eat. I got beans, onions, and Zaub, this year.
But I normally grow squash. As I love 'em boil with sugar. And keep it in the frige to be super cold. Then pour it over rice with a little piece of meat on the side with pepper.

I do my own cooking. I don't wait for someone to cook for me.



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2019, 06:04:35 AM »
When we express our desires for our own personal racial ethnicity as first dibs is that it's rooted within us.  It's biological encoded within us to be attracted to similar qualities and familiar characteristic s.  Now understandably we all as individuals do seek that individualism and we should embrace that too.  We are not cookie cutter people, we have our uniqueness about ourselves and often times seek what would compliment and complement ourselves, our needs, our wants.

When we refer to boys and girls, we are reflecting on our past experiences on those.  Semantic memory is what makes us who we are today and helps us makes our current decisions based on those past experiences.  When we refer to men and women, we are recalling more closer recent experiences as since we are of that category.   While semantic memory still plays a great role, we often are using the mnemonic memory of which we choose often of current societal influence.  Again our core values of who we are and what we choose to tolerate, embrace, or even discard/reject.

We all know our level of adaptability, compatibility, or even comparability.  It goes back to what we will tolerate, embrace, or even discard/reject. 



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2019, 06:21:57 AM »


I doubt White wash Hmong people even acknowledge eachother.  But you bring up an interesting thought.  Typically, a whitewashed hmong person would be judgmenetal and not want anything to do with Hmong people.  What would they say if they found out the other person is also whitewashed?  Argue who's more whitewashed?

This is almost funny that it hurts.  I know how I am accused of being white washed, simply because I grew up away from the most degenerative aspects what people says is Hmong culture. I grew up away from the ghetto and thug life.  Again this is where people get family traditions confused with what is actually culture.  For example, excessive drinking...is not a Hmong culture...just because certain families or individuals are doing it.  You are following pop culture...not an actual heritage.  You have adopted certain behaviors...no t actually practicing heritage behavior.  If I may so, represent it in that respect.

Also growing up...I had to represent our Hmong culture not only to outsiders but also to many Hmong refugees.  My family did not come over on a direct refugee preferential treatment from the government.  We were Christian Missionary sponsored refugee.  I/we never got any governmental assistance in that respect.  Many of times being accused of white washed, I see these accusers with TV, VCR, cameras, boom boxes...all the things that makes them more westernized than I ever was.  These people talk about eating McDonalds and I have never so much as seen burger and fries except on advertisement in the newspaper.  Yes and even I grew up in the projects housing along with them, but who's far more white washed are making such accusations?  Just like how stated, who's arguing who's more white washed?



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

 

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