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Author Topic: What's up with these spouse killings?  (Read 5727 times)

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Offline Griffith

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What's up with these spouse killings?
« on: October 16, 2019, 04:17:26 PM »
I heard there was yet another couple killing in Cali? The guy was 70yrs old. And dating some Laos Hmong girl. And the wife didn't approve or something like that. And they got into an argument.
And he shot her in the head. I mean you're fawking 70yrs old and about to flip over and die anytime soon. Smh. Not just young couple but fawking old wrinkle old pee smelling SOB..



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Offline theking

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2019, 04:35:54 PM »
Most of the older Hmong folks of both genders that go to Laos to find a young mate that I've seen over the years like in the last couple of decades tend to be older (50 plus) so I'm not surprised at his age..

In terms of a spouse killing or hurting his/her spouse, not all that surprised either as it's been happening since marriage occur...

It's sad but that's just how it is with some...



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Offline Griffith

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2019, 04:41:14 PM »
Not really. These killing didn't really happen not super long ago.
I don't remember which couple was the first to kill their spouse and then themself. Ever since then. There's always 2 to go.  It's now a curse.



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Offline ProudLao

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2019, 04:55:01 PM »
This type of practice needs to stop. Why are some people okay with this?

How many men out there can say they approve of their wives going to Laos for a second wife?



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Offline Reporter

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2019, 06:17:59 PM »
Do not tempt the heart, for the heart maketh and taketh life.



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Offline theking

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2019, 06:26:49 PM »
This type of practice needs to stop. Why are some people okay with this?

How many men out there can say they approve of their wives going to Laos for a second wife?

Depends on how hot my wife's "second wife" to be is and if she's willing to share, I can say that I "approve" of her going to Laos... ;D

Seriously though, I agree..Gotta let go of the bad and/or irrelevant and move forward with the good regardless of culture.

the earliest recorded case of a husband killing his wife is said to happened in 80 B.C. so I'm sure it even go farther in history than that. As far as a husband hurting and abusing his wife, I'm sure it goes even farther...Just that they couldn't or didn't have the resource to keep track of it.




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Offline DuMa

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2019, 06:27:54 PM »
If you often see this then it becomes and epidemic. 

It used to be... I'll beat you up till you black and blue but hey, you will both live

Now, hmong hunters.....   you know where I'm going with this.   



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Offline theking

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2019, 06:29:54 PM »
Do not tempt the heart, for the heart maketh and taketh life.

Even as a kid back in Laos in the 70s, I've heard of a spouse taking another spouse's "life" ...




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Offline DuMa

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2019, 06:32:30 PM »
I can't say that it is in your DNA

but with the japs, kamakazi is the art of taking your vehicle like a plane and crashing it into the enemy.  Suicide and japs goes hand in hand.  Epidemic 




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Offline Griffith

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2019, 11:37:06 PM »
I can't say that it is in your DNA

but with the japs, kamakazi is the art of taking your vehicle like a plane and crashing it into the enemy.  Suicide and japs goes hand in hand.  Epidemic
not worth killing your spouse. I know in the heat of the moment. One must  keep his cool. Either drive off and go somewhere for a long while. Life has more meaning then one hoe.



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Offline Reporter

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2019, 10:17:58 AM »
We had no media. So, we heard only a few. There must have been many more.

So, when a lady in Vientiane learned that her husband was now dating a Lao lady, she took two grenades and bombed herself with her kids at home.

Even as a kid back in Laos in the 70s, I've heard of a spouse taking another spouse's "life" ...



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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2019, 10:47:45 AM »
the bad thing always get reported
that's the problem with the media these days
alot of us married guy

are happily married with our wife

i don't see us good guy get reported on the news O0



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Offline Reporter

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2019, 11:13:04 AM »
70 doesn't top what MN has. We had an 86-year-old Vang guy in Mn who was doing the same thing. No wife to restrict him but his son wouldn't connect the internet service for him. So, he took out his deer hunting shotgun and did a quick hunting at home. The cops eventually arrested him for murder.But he died in jail, I think.

I heard there was yet another couple killing in Cali? The guy was 70yrs old. And dating some Laos Hmong girl. And the wife didn't approve or something like that. And they got into an argument.
And he shot her in the head. I mean you're fawking 70yrs old and about to flip over and die anytime soon. Smh. Not just young couple but fawking old wrinkle old pee smelling SOB..



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The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Risingstars

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2019, 12:08:48 PM »
70 doesn't top what MN has. We had an 86-year-old Vang guy in Mn who was doing the same thing. No wife to restrict him but his son wouldn't connect the internet service for him. So, he took out his deer hunting shotgun and did a quick hunting at home. The cops eventually arrested him for murder.But he died in jail, I think.

86 years old? Damn I thought my dad was old he's only 62 this year. Funny how all these OGs knows how to send money overseas but cant connect the internet?



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Offline lilly

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Re: What's up with these spouse killings?
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2019, 12:51:50 PM »
I, too, wonder why spousal murder suicides are happening more frequently these days.  Murder suicides are not unheard of but recently, cases after cases occurring in such short successions of each other in the Hmong community is a bit weird and alarming.  I don't know if it's there's been a shift in people's perception towards murder suicides?  What is happening in people's minds?  Why do these men feel a need to take their spouses' lives and their own lives when faced with a difficult time in their marriages/relationships?  It's like they lose sight of their children and of the positive sides to life, and their dark feelings about their marriages/relationships overpower them and take over their hearts and minds to make them murder their spouses and commit suicide.

I think there needs to be more advocacy for therapy within the Hmong community (and all communities).  Also, within the Hmong community, there needs be a network of marriage support groups.  People need to be taught/reminded that it's OK to talk things out with a therapist, with friends/family about their marriage issues.  Talking things out is healing and can sometimes prevent such horrible things like murder suicides from happening.  Sometimes people can't get out of their heads and feel like the only way they can break out of a bad place and out of the dark time they are in is to do the unimaginable: murder suicide.  They forget about their children!  People need to be reminded over and over again that murder suicide is not the answer.  No one is ever worth killing for.  Life is precious.  Your children are precious.

----

What I have learned through these murder suicides is that more people than we think have depression and mental illnesses.  So many people do not know how to cope with their feelings (more so men than women as we have seen with the recent spousal killings).  We need to find ways to give people help.  I, too, have experienced dark times and felt hopeless but I've found that it's helped me to share my thoughts and feelings with others.  Perhaps just checking in on each other every now and then.  With technology at our fingertips, instant connection is there for us to connect with anyone at any time, but yet direct interaction with others happens less and less.  We like each other's posts on facebook but how often do we actually call each other up on the phone anymore?  How often do we hang out with each other anymore?  Everyone has their own lives and we use the convenience of seeing each other's "posts" as a way to keep updated on each other but often the physical/human touch remains missing in our lives.  We stay inside our own heads a lot of the times.  We live inside our own little lives and bubbles a lot of the times.  My point is, perhaps some murder suicides can be prevented if we just check up on each other more often and get people to start talking and get them out of their heads and give them a different perspective on things.

Often, people that have tried committing suicide state that a phone call was what saved their life...  just a little food for thought and just one of many ways we can maybe help each other to prevent these horrible deaths from happening.  There are many more ways to prevent 'murder suicides' and suicides.  We need to have a bigger conversation about these issues and find solutions.  We don't have all the answers today but I hope we can all start with thinking about how we can do better for each other.  What tools/techniques can we give people that are depressed or that have marriage issues to see things in a better or different way?



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