The issue is not that they can't get married..the issue is groom's family can't make the marriage official. In good faith, groom's family told girl's family they'd hold a wedding but so far nothing happens. If it's your daughter, what would you do? Have her continue living w/ her boyfriend? Force him to hold a wedding? or resolve the old fashion way and get the elders invoved..
See hmong people solve problems an eye for an eye.... In this case, when the elders involved.. if the guy is not going to hold a wedding, not paying the dowry, etc...that's fine but they're going to use this case for future precedent. This is how Hmong people solve things. AND the groom's family might be OK w/ it but the clan of the groom might not want to see this precedent existing and therefore may pressure the groom's family to do the right thing.
Here, I'll quote the OP:
..They haven’t come do the wedding
No meeka wedding either
...So now we are stuck in a limbo
If all they are waiting for is "do the wedding" and even considered a "meeka wedding" so they wouldn't be in "limbo", they can still get it done without the other side's participation is all I'm saying...very simple, and yes can make it "official" on their own...
If it was my daughter, I would let her decide because marriage is NOT a requirement in life and if she wants to get married, I can throw a wedding for her with or without the other side's participation.
They can use "an eye for an eye" and "future precedent" threats but it still not above the laws of the land so it won't hold much weight when it comes down to it...And there are options when it comes to getting married...so the couple can still get "officially" married one way or another if they choose to.