Advertisement

Author Topic: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed  (Read 5292 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 58896
  • Respect: +1322
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2019, 04:54:31 PM »
Something will happen.

Highly doubt it if they still refused to pay because there's no law that requires them to pay the bride-price..



Like this post: 0

Adverstisement

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 58896
  • Respect: +1322
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #16 on: October 23, 2019, 04:56:39 PM »

they gotta do their part
it's been too long already
don't need to be big

just so we can get this done
and move on with

so we can achknowledge and welcome him to the family

No they don't as there are no laws that requires them to participate if they don't want to...



Like this post: 0

Offline w1s3m0n

  • Jr. Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 1064
  • Respect: +77
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #17 on: October 23, 2019, 07:28:03 PM »
I don't get the neo-liberals here.  How can a neo-liberal be so conservative on Hmong culture??? 

One of our sister(relatives) has been taken
They sent two elder guys to give the “message” to the parents
Three days pass, they haven’t “hu plug tie string”
No visit, nothing

FYI

this is two years ago

They haven’t come do the wedding
No meeka wedding either

We been asking
And its looks like the parents don’t want their son to married our sister

So now we are stuck in a limbo



Like this post: +1

Offline ProudLao

  • Mekong In My Heart
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 10281
  • Still a little boy running free in Laos
  • Respect: +555
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2019, 06:01:42 AM »
One of our sister(relatives) has been taken
They sent two elder guys to give the “message” to the parents
Three days pass, they haven’t “hu plug tie string”
No visit, nothing

FYI

this is two years ago

They haven’t come do the wedding
No meeka wedding either

We been asking
And its looks like the parents don’t want their son to married our sister

So now we are stuck in a limbo

So, she doesn't know him and this is a kidnap and yet no po po was ever called? Primitive much?



Like this post: 0
I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

Theravada

Offline Reporter

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 84275
  • Pey-Pey and NiNi's 1st Snow Kid.
  • Respect: +562
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2019, 08:22:30 AM »
Respectable Hmong elders do not dodge such cultural responsibility .

So, yes, contact the clan leaders and something will happen.

Highly doubt it if they still refused to pay because there's no law that requires them to pay the bride-price..



Like this post: 0
"...
The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Reporter

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 84275
  • Pey-Pey and NiNi's 1st Snow Kid.
  • Respect: +562
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2019, 08:23:36 AM »
I'm torn between which of two things it could be: she's hiding or she's missing.

So, she doesn't know him and this is a kidnap and yet no po po was ever called? Primitive much?



Like this post: 0
"...
The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Dok_Champa

  • Sr. Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 8234
  • Respect: +200
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #21 on: October 24, 2019, 08:31:35 AM »

Here, I'll quote the OP:

If all they are waiting for is "do the wedding" and even considered a "meeka wedding" so they wouldn't be in "limbo", they can still get it done without the other side's participation is all I'm saying...very simple, and yes can make it "official" on their own...

If it was my daughter, I would let her decide because marriage is NOT a requirement in life and if she wants to get married, I can throw a wedding for her with or without the other side's participation.

They can use "an eye for an eye" and "future precedent" threats but it still not above the laws of the land so it won't hold much weight when it comes down to it...And there are options when it comes to getting married...so the couple can still get "officially" married one way or another if they choose to.
You can't do a hmong or mekas wedding for your daughter w/o the groom's family participation and if you did, it'll look foolish.  So yes, they are stuck in a limbo. 

Unless people don't care for their hmong culture, totally disregards, think it's backward, then yes the "eye for eye" and "future precedent" won't work.  These people don't even embrace their culture, heritage and never take the time to learn why we do things the way we do, never fully understand,   But for the majority, right now, many people still keep, respect our hmong traditions, the clan system, etc.  so yes it'll get resolved one way or another.   



Like this post: 0
But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline Dok_Champa

  • Sr. Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 8234
  • Respect: +200
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #22 on: October 24, 2019, 08:35:16 AM »
So, she doesn't know him and this is a kidnap and yet no po po was ever called? Primitive much?
NO...the girl elope w/ the guy but it's been two years and no wedding.  Usually in the hmong culture, a wedding happened shortly after the elopment. 



Like this post: 0
But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline Dok_Champa

  • Sr. Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 8234
  • Respect: +200
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2019, 08:36:31 AM »
I'm torn between which of two things it could be: she's hiding or she's missing.
My understanding, she's not missing or hiding.  It's the groom's family..they're delaying the wedding, doing the right thing.  Again, since between the family did not work need to get the clan leaders involved.  A resolution will happen.



Like this post: 0
But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline ProudLao

  • Mekong In My Heart
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 10281
  • Still a little boy running free in Laos
  • Respect: +555
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2019, 12:49:46 PM »
NO...the girl elope w/ the guy but it's been two years and no wedding.  Usually in the hmong culture, a wedding happened shortly after the elopment.

Oh, my apology. Thought it was a kidnap. In this case, can the parents just let them be?



Like this post: 0
I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

Theravada

Offline Reporter

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 84275
  • Pey-Pey and NiNi's 1st Snow Kid.
  • Respect: +562
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2019, 01:27:01 PM »
It's turning into an American thing: cohabitation.

My understanding, she's not missing or hiding.  It's the groom's family..they're delaying the wedding, doing the right thing.  Again, since between the family did not work need to get the clan leaders involved.  A resolution will happen.



Like this post: 0
"...
The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 58896
  • Respect: +1322
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #26 on: October 24, 2019, 04:41:03 PM »
Respectable Hmong elders do not dodge such cultural responsibility .

So, yes, contact the clan leaders and something will happen.

But if these guys still choose to "dodge", nothing the Hmong elders and/or 18 xeem can do about it because there is no law that requires them to pay for the bride's head or participate if they don't want to...



Like this post: 0

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 58896
  • Respect: +1322
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #27 on: October 24, 2019, 04:47:26 PM »
You can't do a hmong or mekas wedding for your daughter w/o the groom's family participation and if you did, it'll look foolish.  So yes, they are stuck in a limbo. 

Unless people don't care for their hmong culture, totally disregards, think it's backward, then yes the "eye for eye" and "future precedent" won't work.  These people don't even embrace their culture, heritage and never take the time to learn why we do things the way we do, never fully understand,   But for the majority, right now, many people still keep, respect our hmong traditions, the clan system, etc.  so yes it'll get resolved one way or another.

I'll quote Obama: "Yes you can!"
And nope, it won't look "foolish" because the people that matters and want to be there will still be there to support and wish my daughter the best.

The thing is the elders and/or 18 xeem really have no say in the matter if one side doesn't want to participate... and nope, it's not backward, they are just excising their rights not to participate... for what ever reason.

And it can only get resolve by the elders and 18 xeem if the other want to participate, if they still don't want to participate, nothing the elders and 18 xeem can do about it because there is no law that requires parents to participate in their kid's wedding if they don't want to..



Like this post: 0

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 58896
  • Respect: +1322
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #28 on: October 24, 2019, 04:50:05 PM »
Oh, my apology. Thought it was a kidnap. In this case, can the parents just let them be?

Yes, the parents can "just let them be" because there is no law that requires them to participate in their kid's wedding if they don't want to...



Like this post: 0

Offline ProudLao

  • Mekong In My Heart
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 10281
  • Still a little boy running free in Laos
  • Respect: +555
    • View Profile
Re: Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed
« Reply #29 on: October 24, 2019, 07:00:28 PM »
If they are happy and didn’t break any laws it should be okay.



Like this post: 0
I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

Theravada

 

Advertisements