Just a Tuesday rant.... they took our sister(relatives) and refuse to wed

[Reporter]

Dok is talking about the 18 clan organization taking part in this. Not just the couple's two families.

If it gets up there, the rep for the groom-wannabe's clan will blush and come down hard on his family.

But if these guys still choose to "dodge", nothing the Hmong elders and/or 18 xeem can do about it because there is no law that requires them to pay for the bride's head or participate if they don't want to...

[theking]

Dok is talking about the 18 clan organization taking part in this. Not just the couple's two families.

If it gets up there, the rep for the groom-wannabe's clan will blush and come down hard on his family.

Even if the 18 clan organization takes part in this case, and the rep for the groom-wannabe's clan blushes and comes down hard on his family, his family can still refuse to participate because there's no law that requires them to pay the bride's head or participate in the wedding is all I'm saying. Therefore if his family already made up their minds not to participate, the situation will not change. Which is why I highly doubt anything will happen even if the elders and/or 18 xeem are involve. The decision to participate or not is still up to his family because there's no law governing and regulating those things...

[ProudLao]

I will have to agree with theking on this one. None of their business.

[Reporter]

 We are saying it goes the Hmong way. Hmong requires bride price in a marriage. Hmong requires clan acknowledgemen t on marriage. Etc.


You're suggesting this go the American way. That is not the way Hmong system works.

Even if the 18 clan organization takes part in this case, and the rep for the groom-wannabe's clan blushes and comes down hard on his family, his family can still refuse to participate because there's no law that requires them to pay the bride's head or participate in the wedding is all I'm saying. Therefore if his family already made up their minds not to participate, the situation will not change. Which is why I highly doubt anything will happen even if the elders and/or 18 xeem are involve. The decision to participate or not is still up to his family because there's no law governing and regulating those things...

[Reporter]

It is. Even American parents want to see that their kids' marriages are complete.

I will have to agree with theking on this one. None of their business.

[Dok_Champa]

Oh, my apology. Thought it was a kidnap. In this case, can the parents just let them be?

If a guy said he's going to marry your daughter and took her away but never come to do the wedding.  As parent, you wonder what's going on?  You want the issue settle... is he or isn't he going to marry your daughter?  This case is something like that.

Yes, the parents can "just let them be" because there is no law that requires them to participate in their kid's wedding if they don't want to...

The parents of the groom knew they didn't do the right thing.  I'm not blaming the groom or bride.  This issue is at the parent's level.

Even if the 18 clan organization takes part in this case, and the rep for the groom-wannabe's clan blushes and comes down hard on his family, his family can still refuse to participate because there's no law that requires them to pay the bride's head or participate in the wedding is all I'm saying. Therefore if his family already made up their minds not to participate, the situation will not change. Which is why I highly doubt anything will happen even if the elders and/or 18 xeem are involve. The decision to participate or not is still up to his family because there's no law governing and regulating those things...

True but putting pressure from the clan leaders might change the parents to do the right thing.  Also, even if they still will not do anything, this case will set future precedent for sure.  They may get the bride's family this time but one day the bride's family will get back at the groom's clan for sure.

I will have to agree with theking on this one. None of their business.

That's because the King is flexible with many things.  The sky is yellow Ok.  The sky is blue.  Ok.  The sky is green Ok.  Turn left.  Ok.  Turn right Ok.  Doing the right thing is doing the right thing and Hmong culture demands that.

[theking]

We are saying it goes the Hmong way. Hmong requires bride price in a marriage. Hmong requires clan acknowledgemen t on marriage. Etc.


You're suggesting this go the American way. That is not the way Hmong system works.

The OP pointed out both ways as the were no Hmong or "meeka" wedding and it's been two years already.

And even if it's the "Hmong way", some Hmong don't require bride head price anymore as that way is irrelevant to them now here in America. For those that still require the groom side to pay for the bride head price, the broom side can still refuse because there's no law that requires them to pay the bride head price.

[theking]

It is. Even American parents want to see that their kids' marriages are complete.

Depends as some American parents do and some don't even want to attend their kid's wedding...

[theking]

The parents of the groom knew they didn't do the right thing.  I'm not blaming the groom or bride.  This issue is at the parent's level.

I can't say who's doing the right thing or not and I'm not blaming anyone since I don't know the situation personally but if the groom's parents don't want to participate, nothing the elders and/or 18 xeem can do about it since there's no law that requires it is all I'm saying...

True but putting pressure from the clan leaders might change the parents to do the right thing.  Also, even if they still will not do anything, this case will set future precedent for sure.  They may get the bride's family this time but one day the bride's family will get back at the groom's clan for sure.

Again, I don't know the details of the case so I'm not going to assume who's doing the right and who's not but it is within their rights not participate if they don't want to...As far as the future precedent stuffs go, if they don't care, they won't care doesn't matter how much pressure the clan leaders put on them because there is no law that requires them to participate.

That's because the King is flexible with many things.  The sky is yellow Ok.  The sky is blue.  Ok.  The sky is green Ok.  Turn left.  Ok.  Turn right Ok.  Doing the right thing is doing the right thing and Hmong culture demands that.

Not really, it's because I based things on facts and not assumptions or ill-informed opinions. The fact is nothing can be done by the bride's parents, the elders and/or the 18 xeem because the groom's parents are well within their rights not to participate as there are no law that requires them to pay the bride head price or participate in the wedding.

Disagree with that fact? Feel free to prove me wrong by showing a U.S. law that requires the groom's parents to participate in this kind of situation...

[Believe_N_Me]

There seems to be info missing from the story. What do you mean they took her? Do you mean she eloped with her boyfriend? Then his clan called to inform your parents not to look for her and scheduled a time to come negotiate a wedding but never followed through?