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Author Topic: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???  (Read 3914 times)

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Offline Reporter

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #15 on: November 06, 2019, 07:13:29 AM »
Ok. You know people better than SB does then.

3K.  ???



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Offline one-tai

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2019, 08:42:13 AM »
Ok. You know people better than SB does then.

And your point is?  ???



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Offline Mr_Mechanic

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2019, 09:00:35 AM »



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Offline Reporter

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2019, 09:05:20 AM »
You know that you canít trust them on oral promises alone and that you want something in writing to hold them to the deal.

SB didnít know she would have a hard time getting them to pay. She thought she could just trust them to act with integrity on their own, but now itís not the case. She didnít know that much about people. But you do.

And your point is?  ???



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"...
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Offline lexicon

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #19 on: November 06, 2019, 03:06:40 PM »
Remember the scam where clan members pooled their monies and would lend it to other members within the clan who "asked"? How many people lost money in that scheme? I know some people who lost tens of thousands of dollars and have yet to reclaim it to this day. Just because they're family doesn't mean they wouldn't screw you over for your money.



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Offline theking

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2019, 04:13:02 PM »
Remember the scam where clan members pooled their monies and would lend it to other members within the clan who "asked"? How many people lost money in that scheme? I know some people who lost tens of thousands of dollars and have yet to reclaim it to this day. Just because they're family doesn't mean they wouldn't screw you over for your money.

Sometimes family members are worst than others when it comes to things like that...Sadly, I had to learn the hard way in my younger years so I don't loan or co-sign things for others anymore unless it's truly a life and death situation.



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Offline SummerBerry

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2019, 11:15:24 AM »
Is he your sister's husband or your husband's brother. What is his relationship to you exactly?

Husband's brother.



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Offline w1s3m0n

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #22 on: November 08, 2019, 11:38:53 AM »
It's a need base question.  A family who has not paid will only return your money if you have a greater need.  If you are out of work then that's a good reason.  If you want the money to buy x-mas gifts, then asking for the money back during the holidays will generate animosity that will lead to envy.  Envy destroys relationships.  $5k is not worth destroying relationship in my book.

I speak from experience.



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Offline SummerBerry

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #23 on: November 08, 2019, 12:00:48 PM »
I would say what you just said above, "time to pay up".

Be nice but also be firm...

Be honest and upfront about it, no need to beat around the bush especially since you're family...

The lender should never need to ask for the money back in cases like this but unfortunately, there are some cases where those that were helped in the past don't care to do their part by keeping their words and pay it back...Sad but true..

You're right as the lender we shouldn't have to ever asked for our $$ back.  He gave us his words that it should only take him a year to pay us back.  It has been 3-5 yrs if I add the other $$ he borrowed too.  I just want the 5k upfront for now.  It is why I am going to tell my sil his wife that she need to give him my words.  He need to start saving or find ways to get us our 5k by summer or May/June.  I want the $$ to buy my daughter a car, home repairs, etc.  whatever is the reason don't matter.  He actually want 10k but we gave him 5k. 
 

Outside friends, co-workers, etc. these type of people when you borrowed to them.  They usually paid us back without a problem. With family they think they have all the time in the world to do it.   I remember the very 1st person who ever borrowed $$ from us was a so called or distant cousin within our 2/3 yrs marriage. It was  $700 but whenever he see us he will remind us that he know he still owed us $700.  When my fil was sick and bedridden at home until he took his last breath.  That cousin was there with us that day.  Motherducker took out $300 from his wallet and gave it to us.  Gave us the $400 days later.  Over the yrs we will have people tell us why he couldn't pay us our $700 when he work and his wife worked for the FBI.  Whatever! Hmong people don't realized that sometimes if you are the one who borrowed the $$ you paid it and their partner has nothing to do with it. 

To me I don't care what people do for a living, how much debts they have, how big of their lifestyles, etc.  All it matters to me is that if you borrowed $$ then you find a way to pay it back.  Don't wait until there is a emergency or family crisis because it will be harder to get that $$ unless you run to the bank to get a loan.  It's why I am giving my words to them to start saving $$ now until summer.  My husband is too nice and always feel like he is obligated to help when he know their situation better.

At the end I don't want $$ to ruins family relationship. 



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Offline SummerBerry

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #24 on: November 08, 2019, 12:05:28 PM »
It's a need base question.  A family who has not paid will only return your money if you have a greater need.  If you are out of work then that's a good reason.  If you want the money to buy x-mas gifts, then asking for the money back during the holidays will generate animosity that will lead to envy.  Envy destroys relationships.  $5k is not worth destroying relationship in my book.

I speak from experience.

True but I feel like those are the reasons I have to use in order to get him to start paying us our 5k.  I don't want to ruin family relationship but its been years.  This is like the 4th time he borrowed from us. 3rd time I won't bother but 4th time is the 5k.  3rd and 4th time his wife or  my sil has nothing to do it with.  She do know the reason but it is my bil problem. 



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Offline nightrider

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #25 on: November 08, 2019, 08:30:33 PM »
My bil owes us a little over 5k and it is time to pay up.

I'm kind of in the same situation and even had written out the loan in letter even stated clearly that it need to be paid back but so far it has been almost 2yrs now and the person hasn't even bother to. Like you, now the situation makes me a bad person for wanting to the person to pay back. If you don't lend people money, you're automatically a bad and stingy person, when you do, this is how it usually turns out.

Now, I'm thinking about pretending to be in a needy situation and will just ask to see if the person has enough to pay back. Money doesn't grow on trees, every dollar counts. But in your situation, it is kind of hard being your family at most is above middle class. Acting needy would really look bad. Best to just make up excuse that you could use the money for you kids school expenses and etc... and see if he will comply. It's really hard to trust people these days. They just all seem to lose their ways... If it isn't emergency. I'm not helping anymore.



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Offline NtsesHnub

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #26 on: November 18, 2021, 08:13:54 PM »
Did you get your money back yet?



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #27 on: November 18, 2021, 09:27:31 PM »
When my sister asked me for money when she was struggling financially.  I gave it to her openly.  20 years later I went to ask her for some money because I was struggling.  She says, let me talk to my husband about it.  WOW!!!!!!!  :o

Never once did I ever asked her to pay that back.  Now she's like when can I pay her back?



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline hmgROCK

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #28 on: November 19, 2021, 10:55:11 AM »
Consider it gone
$5k is alot of money
But its really not


You will recovery

Bread+mustard  O0



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Offline king james

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Re: How do you kindly tell someone to pay back money.....???
« Reply #29 on: November 19, 2021, 11:13:52 AM »
My bil owes us a little over 5k and it is time to pay up.




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