Advertisement

Author Topic: Is this relationship fixable?  (Read 396 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline lilly

  • Sr. Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 6101
  • Gender: Female
  • Be happy!
  • Respect: +500
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2020, 12:19:34 PM »
I agree with Duma.  Perhaps the biggest red flag about your guy is that he wants a threesome.  That should tell you a lot.  That he desires not just you but others as well.  That alone would be enough for me to say "this relationship is not fixable."
 I will never be OK with a guy that tells me he wants me AND someone else.  I'll even have an issue with him fantasizing about it in his own head.

I don't believe in open marriages or being swingers or threesomes.  Too complicated.  I don't need complications in my life.  Life is too short.  I need it to be stress-free and drama-free.



Like this post: 0

Adverstisement

Offline DuMa

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 11848
  • Gender: Male
  • NRUS MAS
  • Respect: +448
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2020, 01:07:38 PM »
I agree with Duma.  Perhaps the biggest red flag about your guy is that he wants a threesome.  That should tell you a lot.  That he desires not just you but others as well.  That alone would be enough for me to say "this relationship is not fixable."
 I will never be OK with a guy that tells me he wants me AND someone else.  I'll even have an issue with him fantasizing about it in his own head.

I don't believe in open marriages or being swingers or threesomes.  Too complicated.  I don't need complications in my life.  Life is too short.  I need it to be stress-free and drama-free.

You see this folks?  When someone answer these questions in the right light, they do so deserved better.  You get two people who agrees with the same principles and philosophy in life then how can this not be a match made in heaven? 

Good people deserves one another and confused people ended up like rebel, got played by a me love you long time. 

You just can't fix some things in life like you can't fix stupid.  There, I said it.   :2funny:




Like this post: 0
X_____________ ______________ ______________ ___

Offline Rebel

  • PH Regular
  • **
  • Posts: 142
  • Respect: +3
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2020, 03:59:00 PM »
I'm pressing the reset button. I have mixed feelings I keep fighting myself. I just want to fall and land easy on something soft...thanks guys ❤️



Like this post: 0

Offline Reporter

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 76705
  • 31-day months: Odds: 1,3,5,7: Even: 8, 10,12.
  • Respect: +465
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2020, 10:10:03 PM »
 O0 O0

I think the idea of being with him and the memory of being with him is what is stopping you from breaking up with him. You're also subconsciously excusing how he treats you because of an attachment you have with him.

But, he is avoiding talking to you and refusing to clear up what's bothering you, so, it feels to me that he is not validating your feelings and acknowledging your concerns.  If you mean a lot to him, he would not want you to worry, he would want to talk to you and assure you of his feelings for you.  It sounds like he is distant and emotionally unavailable to you.  That's not a good thing.  I'm not sure if he is what Duma says he is, but refusing to talk to you when you need him to talk to you, is not a good sign.  Communication is very important in a relationship and it seems like he's not very good at communicating.  He avoids things and brushes things off and turns it around on you by saying you are being dramatic.  I feel like he is stonewalling you.  He is not being respectful towards what you need, which is open communication with him to address your concerns.

I think you should learn to emotionally distance yourself from him. Try to de-attach.  Sometimes it's hard to let go of someone because we've become attached to them, even though they no longer meet our needs and no longer bring us joy.  But you have to learn to de-attach if he is not respecting your needs of communication, etc.

Listen to your heart... But also be smart about it.  If you are in the wrong, own up to it and apologize.  But don't excuse his behavior either.  If you both want each other, you BOTH will find a way to understand each other, to acknowledge the issue, and to fix the issue.  If you are the only one doing the acknowledging and trying to fix while he dismisses you as being dramatic and not validating your needs and concerns, then it's one sided... And nobody should be in a one sided relationship.  You deserve someone who is all in, who will do whatever it takes because they don't want to lose you.



Like this post: 0

Offline Reporter

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 76705
  • 31-day months: Odds: 1,3,5,7: Even: 8, 10,12.
  • Respect: +465
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2020, 10:15:09 PM »
 :2funny: :2funny:

Run as fast as you can while you still can lol



Like this post: 0

Offline Reporter

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 76705
  • 31-day months: Odds: 1,3,5,7: Even: 8, 10,12.
  • Respect: +465
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2020, 10:17:51 PM »
 :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

Up to you....we may tell you this and that but at the end of the day, itís you.  But if youíre asking, put your running shoes on and make for the door.  Again, up to u.



Like this post: 0

Offline qeej

  • PH Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 48
  • a pair of husbands
  • Respect: +3
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #21 on: June 18, 2020, 01:42:51 AM »
I'm pressing the reset button. I have mixed feelings I keep fighting myself. I just want to fall and land easy on something soft...thanks guys ❤️
pillows are soft. i hope you find the courage to do what you need to do. we've all been there. good luck! also, next time when someone ask you "what do you look for in a man" say "i look away" so we can all avoid future problems.




Like this post: 0

Offline DaCurse

  • Jr. Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 1139
  • Respect: +40
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #22 on: June 19, 2020, 12:08:37 AM »
when it feels like work, then its probably best to part ways. my philosophy is that a healthy relationship works on its own..haha when you find someone you can really bond and connect with, the right words come out on their own, the actions takes place naturally by itself...the only thing is, to know is that the only guarantee is that there is no guarantees in life...haha

no worries, most of us gone through tough relationships like this before...yes even me, the real life porn star and ultimate ladies man...lols you live and learned....wit hout these bad relationships, i wouldn't be who I am today...I wouldn't be as strong mentally as I am now. But it can be bad sometimes, when you start thinking you are some kind of God...lols



Like this post: 0

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 33180
  • Respect: +838
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #23 on: June 19, 2020, 09:38:32 AM »
when it feels like work, then its probably best to part ways.

That's how I roll...and have done in the past... O0

I hear people complain how their relationship is "too much work" or it's "too hard", I'm like, if you're sacrificing your health and happiness over it, it's best to part ways..

Life is too short so living in misery ain't much living... ;D



Like this post: 0

Offline Gracified23

  • Sr. Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 6728
  • Gender: Male
  • Respect: +56
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #24 on: June 27, 2020, 10:44:21 PM »
Iíll chime in my 2 cents.

Yeah that's a very one sided relationship. If heís not giving you any attention or doing his part, and youíre always be the one initiating text, then what's really happening is heís using you for sex. But giving you nothing in return in terms of love, affection, support or growth.

Letís say if the role was reverse and the woman doesnít give me any attention, that tells me sheís not attracted to me. Women donít play games with men they are genuinely interested in. Sheís not going to make it difficult for me to be intimate with her if sheís genuinely interested.



Like this post: 0

Offline Gracified23

  • Sr. Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 6728
  • Gender: Male
  • Respect: +56
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #25 on: June 27, 2020, 10:59:44 PM »
But really you guys need better communication and what you guys are looking for honestly.



Like this post: 0

Offline hmgROCK

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 12880
  • The Hmong Nostradamus
  • Respect: +130
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #26 on: June 27, 2020, 11:02:04 PM »
See each other once a week?

Sheesh

Thats sooo little
I see my wife then girlfriend almost everyday

Beside work
Im with my wife 24/7
Yes she comes fishing with me
Read a book and watch me fish



Like this post: 0
God did not created man...man created god

Offline theking

  • Elite Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 33180
  • Respect: +838
    • View Profile
Re: Is this relationship fixable?
« Reply #27 on: June 30, 2020, 07:12:29 PM »
I can see the "24/7" thing because she's attached your right arm afterall... ;D



Like this post: 0

 

Advertisements