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Author Topic: Family dilemma  (Read 468 times)

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Anonymous

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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2020, 02:55:22 PM »
This was obviously written by someone who is on Brother 1's wife's side and so all information may not be there. I think why Brother 1 did what he did is simple and is already answered in the OP's on post which I bolded: reverse the circumstances and it would be exactly the same! OP wants from us an echo chamber to her feelings but I can't give it to her on this one. It's only been a year since his brother died. The main concern of this post is not about the relationship/love the brothers and their sudden separation had but about money. Who knows how B1 and B2 grew up, their struggles and hardships together? Whether it is wrong of B1 to give money is not really any of our goddamned business. We don't know how much money each family has. But even if B1 was giving too much, everyone grieves differently, and in each of our own times of mourning and weakness we should all be allowed a little room for understanding.

You're dead wrong. You make too much sense.

All kidding aside, great response. There's an adage about how much easier it is to deal with someone else's money...



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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2020, 02:57:56 PM »
Yes, he can refuse. The only requirement is that she must be married to someone  younger than her deceased husband. Could be a cousin. Just can't be married to someone older.

Can he refuse?



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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2020, 03:02:34 PM »
Do you get the impression I get that OP might be Brother 1's wife?

This was obviously written by someone who is on Brother 1's wife's side and so all information may not be there. I think why Brother 1 did what he did is simple and is already answered in the OP's on post which I bolded: reverse the circumstances and it would be exactly the same! OP wants from us an echo chamber to her feelings but I can't give it to her on this one. It's only been a year since his brother died. The main concern of this post is not about the relationship/love the brothers and their sudden separation had but about money. Who knows how B1 and B2 grew up, their struggles and hardships together? Whether it is wrong of B1 to give money is not really any of our goddamned business. We don't know how much money each family has. But even if B1 was giving too much, everyone grieves differently, and in each of our own times of mourning and weakness we should all be allowed a little room for understanding.



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Offline ProudLao

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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #18 on: September 14, 2020, 04:42:31 PM »
Depends on how traditional/americanize the family is

If theyíre old fashion, the wife would martied the brother
If theyíre americanize, she will do whatever with her life

But yeah
You would just take the wife as 2nd wife

I would hope that this kind of practice will be obsolete?



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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #19 on: September 14, 2020, 04:43:06 PM »
Yes, he can refuse. The only requirement is that she must be married to someone  younger than her deceased husband. Could be a cousin. Just can't be married to someone older.

Why is that?



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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2020, 08:59:41 PM »
I don't want to say. If I do, readers will think I endorse such practice. For me, that's too old-fashioned and outdated. But that's how it is.

Why is that?



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Anonymous

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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2020, 11:48:37 AM »
Why is that?

I believe in the past, there were instances of older brothers killing younger brothers so they can marry their brother's wife. Thus, in order to prevent this from occuring again, it became a rule that only a younger brother/cousin/relative can be married to the deceased brother's wife. Once a woman married into a family, she is part of the new family now so they can force her to marry someone else in the family. This is especially true if the woman already have children so that the children can stay with the family.



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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2020, 03:00:02 PM »
This isn't a Hmong thing.

Right way is both 1st bro n His wife agrees to take care of their nieces n nephews.  Giving money is not good but buy school stuff for their nephew n nieces are golden.   

It is wrong if 1st bro doing things without the consulting of his wife.  You take care of your nephew n nieces cuz they are yours by blood.  The 2nd bro widow is not blood related so she's just a participant inlaw. 

The money to support the kids ok.  The problem here is bro 1 doing things without the knowledge of his wife and bro 1 is not obligated to cater to his deceased brothers widow. 

Know your role and play it right unless it is a Hmong thing then I'll just shut up and giggle.   :2funny:


« Last Edit: September 15, 2020, 03:00:18 PM by Anonymous »

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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2020, 03:01:14 PM »
So, experiences shape our laws, huh?

I believe in the past, there were instances of older brothers killing younger brothers so they can marry their brother's wife. Thus, in order to prevent this from occuring again, it became a rule that only a younger brother/cousin/relative can be married to the deceased brother's wife. Once a woman married into a family, she is part of the new family now so they can force her to marry someone else in the family. This is especially true if the woman already have children so that the children can stay with the family.



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Offline ProudLao

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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2020, 06:57:38 PM »
I believe in the past, there were instances of older brothers killing younger brothers so they can marry their brother's wife. Thus, in order to prevent this from occuring again, it became a rule that only a younger brother/cousin/relative can be married to the deceased brother's wife. Once a woman married into a family, she is part of the new family now so they can force her to marry someone else in the family. This is especially true if the woman already have children so that the children can stay with the family.

Wow, she must be hot or loaded for them to killed each other for a her.

Letís hope this isnít being practice today, much?




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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #25 on: September 16, 2020, 08:23:11 AM »
The tradition is still intact for those who choose to marry traditionally. So, you can tell, lots of widows get younger husbands when their husbands die. :2funny: :2funny:

Wow, she must be hot or loaded for them to killed each other for a her.

Letís hope this isnít being practice today, much?



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Offline ProudLao

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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #26 on: September 16, 2020, 09:49:45 AM »
I see, Iím sure the women are happy about this one lol



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Re: Family dilemma
« Reply #27 on: September 16, 2020, 01:01:17 PM »
The women aren't complaining.

I see, Iím sure the women are happy about this one lol


« Last Edit: September 16, 2020, 01:01:38 PM by Anonymous »

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