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Author Topic: How do you know when she/he is "the one"  (Read 4955 times)

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Offline lilly

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How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« on: February 08, 2021, 03:41:33 PM »
Trying to understand the psychology of men and women. 

MEN: How do you know if a woman is "the one" for you long-term?  Or, do most of you just "settle," even though she doesn't have all and everything that you truly want?  What are the "must haves" that qualify her to be "the one" for you?  Be really honest.

WOMEN: How do you know if a man is "the one" for you long-term?  Or, do most of you just "settle," even though he doesn't have all and everything that you truly want?  What are the "must haves" that qualify him to be "the one" for you?  Be really honest.


« Last Edit: February 08, 2021, 03:44:17 PM by lilly »

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Offline lilly

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2021, 03:46:18 PM »
I understand this may be a loaded question.  :)



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Offline lilly

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2021, 03:59:02 PM »
How do you know if a man is "the one" for you long-term?

Here's my answer/my must haves:
- We must have good chemistry.
- He's the one when I'm the one for him, meaning he accepts me for who I am; makes sacrifices for me (willing to compromise on things/willing to go out of his way for me); does acts of service for me (helps with the kids/chores/money, etc); cares about me and my well-being (fulfills me physically/emotionally/psychologically).

Simple.  Are your lists as simple as that?



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Online Visualmon

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2021, 12:20:56 AM »
I rather listen to Mordecai's advice on dating and marriage. lol



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2021, 04:45:23 PM »
That attraction, butterflies in your stomach..all those are important and the next important thing is you look at the person's character.. Is that person an ethical, moral, kind, safe , loving, person? 

When you have a combination of both, butterflies in your stomach and good character = potentially THE ONE.




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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline lilly

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2021, 08:38:36 PM »
go to war knowing and accepting that you can get killed...go into a relationship, knowing there is no guarantee no matter how well things are going or how perfect the relationship is at some point....human nature designed humans to be just like any other animals out there...object ive: breed with as many as possible...lol s

correction: i believe there is a specific breed of doves where a pair stays together til death due one or both apart...haha that's true love...unfortu nately human nature doesn't work that way for most people...lols

I agree.  I think human nature is pretty twisted.  We are all animals. If given the chance with no penalty, most people make stupid choices.  But, there are insightful people who will weigh everything and try to make careful choices... even if those choices sometimes don't end up going the way they want... because one can't control other people or the future.

Couples have to be like minded, have the same goals, want the same things, work well together, communicate well, comprise... if they are to make it long-term.



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Online Visualmon

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2021, 11:49:51 PM »
go to war knowing and accepting that you can get killed...go into a relationship, knowing there is no guarantee no matter how well things are going or how perfect the relationship is at some point....human nature designed humans to be just like any other animals out there...object ive: breed with as many as possible...lols

correction: i believe there is a specific breed of doves where a pair stays together til death due one or both apart...haha that's true love...unfortu nately human nature doesn't work that way for most people...lols

I agree.  I think human nature is pretty twisted.  We are all animals. If given the chance with no penalty, most people make stupid choices.  But, there are insightful people who will weigh everything and try to make careful choices... even if those choices sometimes don't end up going the way they want... because one can't control other people or the future.

Couples have to be like minded, have the same goals, want the same things, work well together, communicate well, comprise... if they are to make it long-term.

 ;D I disagree.


« Last Edit: February 11, 2021, 11:51:53 PM by Visualmon »

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Offline lilly

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2021, 12:24:59 AM »
;D I disagree.

Well, don't leave us hanging.  Why do you disagree?   :)



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Online Visualmon

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2021, 02:23:44 AM »
Well, don't leave us hanging.  Why do you disagree?   :)

I'mma keep y'all hanging a little while until I get my head clear up. My mind filled with anger and frustration. I'm fed up with my family's paranoia episodes.



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Online Visualmon

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2021, 11:09:24 PM »
i expect a full article of enlightment given you left us hanging this long...otherwi se, i take it you're just another hater who disagrees just to disagree..lols

Dayum! Didn't know you're aching to know my disagreements. Don't act surprised 'n discourage when I open your eyes of what I'm about to reveal the truth. lol



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Online Visualmon

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2021, 03:39:11 AM »
I'd wouldn't be surprise if you're just another flaker who never comes through...haha I was hoping someone has a better response than mines for our dear friend Lily...She deserves a much better response than mines....hahah a so don't flake out on her now...lols



Didn't know you're uncivilized. Plz don't use her as a shield to upgrade your ego. There's nothing wrong with expressing my opinions. Everyone in PH are doing the same thing, hanging around as long as he/she ain't responding back. Am I right?   ;D :D



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Offline DuMa

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2021, 09:53:07 AM »
We don't go into a relationship and say yep, this is the one. 

What usually happens is we gave each other a try and it usually takes one sides do the convincing as there is a viet phrase that goes  "bang long di em"  (google it if you want to fancy yourself) which translate by the guy pursuing,  please give in and give me a chance. 

Then the amazing thing happens.  You wasted your time getting comfortable with one another and before you know it, you will have to marry one another.  There you go, your one.....to some, your one for now   :2funny:

It is very rare that both party is happy to be with one another.  So if you do not fall into this category then you fall into the other category and with that, I shall ask you again.  Honestly now, do you really really think that the one you married is the one?  The short answer is no but comes with a rebuttable... "so what choices do I have"???   You guys are now married, have kids and are now stuck with one another.  Go make it work.

Well I got an update with the story of my hmong friend with that salon mn mistress.  I gotta go find that thread to entertain yall some more. 




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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2021, 05:52:35 AM »
The list of "the one" is full of nuances and subtleties that the ouroboros of life itself is a chicken egg theory in complexity of self reflection. 

I myself prefer the simplicity of "choice" and the 'freewill' of making that choice.  That in my self integrity of being a person of my word.  It's like fishing.  I can choose to go on my day off or not to go.  I cannot choose the weather.  I cannot choose if I'm feeling sick that day.  I cannot choose if my car breaks down.

I can choose to be happy and content with what I have.  I cannot have that other person make those choices for me.  I can choose the moment to be.  I cannot choose if the next moment will be.

Most important of all is having someone to share a life with.  If that "one" is not available, it's still life goes on. 



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2021, 11:42:56 AM »
OK, let's simplify ;D ;D ;D the ONE is the one that loves you and you love back.  End of story. :D :D



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline DuMa

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Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2021, 12:55:24 PM »
Let me let you know what I am doing right now.  I been looking for the one for so long and every single one of them are not the one.  So if you are actively looking and can not find it, why not add some psychology into it shall we? 

How about if I go out there and looking for the wrong one instead?  Would that weed out the reverse negative and lead me to the one?  Looks good on paper huh? 

I will look for all the wrong ones and within that group, from wrong to right cuz she's special cuz she proves me wrong.   O0



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