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Author Topic: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive  (Read 293 times)

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Offline Reporter

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You know how things always start: a divorcee gets lots of referrals from friends and relatives.

My friend from Facebook said she really liked three of the five that had been referred to her; they all had come to visit her. But then after a while,
they no longer contacted her.

"Have you contacted them?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I just talk or see them whenever they call or come to me here."

I told her that wouldn't work if she really wanted to keep them. She had to call them or even just text them, "even if just to say 'hi, how are you?'" So, she should have been more consistent in contacting the one she really wanted.

If a guy does not get any message from you that there's something burning inside of you for him, too, he'll turn to those girls who show that burning side to him.

She said she was a very obedient girl from childhood and didn't know how to date guys. But I told her showing interest in how they are doing or what they do each day or even if just each week
does not take experience, nor does that indicate that anyone is too pushy or inappropriate.

Sitting pretty ain't gonna do it. It's not just who we are that gets others' attention--in fact, that doesn't always get it; it's what we do, too.




« Last Edit: April 05, 2021, 02:12:44 PM by Reporter »

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Offline Reporter

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2021, 12:29:17 PM »
BTW, I could use my very own advice to her.



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2021, 08:41:32 AM »
I'm similar to that friend of yours.  I kept thinking if a guy is interested in a girl, he would make a move, show efforts and if he doesn't, that' means there's no genuine interest on his part  to begin with and if she is to make a move, he'll respond but he's not long term potential




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Offline DuMa

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2021, 08:53:43 AM »
Don't count on the desperate guys out.  He don't need you to reach out and touch him over the text or phone.  Let him do all the chasing.  If he wants you enough, he will chase you till the end of times.

A ha but here's the game plan.   Guy chases girl hard.  Then all of a sudden, he stops and make her wonder why he is stopping.  She will then reaches out to him and when she does that, checkmate on his part.  Well played son.   O0



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Offline Gracified23

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2021, 05:01:04 PM »
Itís stupid for women to have this mindset of never pursuing the man first or making the first move. So the guy have to go through all the work to keep her.  What are women doing? Why canít it be both sided? Why canít women make the first move too?



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2021, 06:28:20 PM »
You have to go fishing sometimes to catch a fish.  The fish aren't just going to jump right at you.  That's a far jump from the water to land.  :D

When someone dangles a good fancy bait in front of a fish and the fish don't respond, well they're gonna go fishing somewhere else.  Even a fish can reject an offering.  ;)



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Offline Reporter

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2021, 10:02:40 AM »
Thatís wrong.

I'm similar to that friend of yours.  I kept thinking if a guy is interested in a girl, he would make a move, show efforts and if he doesn't, that' means there's no genuine interest on his part  to begin with and if she is to make a move, he'll respond but he's not long term potential



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Offline wallflower

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2021, 12:03:42 PM »
You know how things always start: a divorcee gets lots of referrals from friends and relatives.

My friend from Facebook said she really liked three of the five that had been referred to her; they all had come to visit her. But then after a while,
they no longer contacted her.

"Have you contacted them?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I just talk or see them whenever they call or come to me here."

I told her that wouldn't work if she really wanted to keep them. She had to call them or even just text them, "even if just to say 'hi, how are you?'" So, she should have been more consistent in contacting the one she really wanted.

If a guy does not get any message from you that there's something burning inside of you for him, too, he'll turn to those girls who show that burning side to him.

She said she was a very obedient girl from childhood and didn't know how to date guys. But I told her showing interest in how they are doing or what they do each day or even if just each week
does not take experience, nor does that indicate that anyone is too pushy or inappropriate.

Sitting pretty ain't gonna do it. It's not just who we are that gets others' attention--in fact, that doesn't always get it; it's what we do, too.

I understand where your friend is coming from. Growing up, I had very strict parents. It was ingrained in me that chasing after men was a no no. Only loose women did that.

I agree though, that women must show some interest. I aint gonna lie. Some men can be dumb as rocks when women are sending them signals.  ;D So women, you may have to say you like a man straight up. ;D



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Offline DaCurse

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2021, 11:03:07 PM »
a man who believes in persistence. and a man who believes in mutual feelings. common sense and a little logic would tell you who the better man is. 8)



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Offline Reporter

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2021, 12:43:55 AM »
Yeah.

We canít read minds.

I understand where your friend is coming from. Growing up, I had very strict parents. It was ingrained in me that chasing after men was a no no. Only loose women did that.

I agree though, that women must show some interest. I aint gonna lie. Some men can be dumb as rocks when women are sending them signals.  ;D So women, you may have to say you like a man straight up. ;D



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Offline Reporter

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2021, 12:45:05 AM »
Depends on what we value, I guess.

a man who believes in persistence. and a man who believes in mutual feelings. common sense and a little logic would tell you who the better man is. 8)



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Offline Mr_Mechanic

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2021, 06:14:32 AM »
maybe in the stone age, yes.  but these day in age.....it's game on for everyone and everybody.  if you see someone you like, you better make the move.  or else she/he will make the move.....move away from you.  of course, I'm only speaking about single folks. 



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Offline Reporter

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2021, 02:02:28 PM »
Thing is someone else is also courting him... :2funny:


maybe in the stone age, yes.  but these day in age.....it's game on for everyone and everybody.  if you see someone you like, you better make the move.  or else she/he will make the move.....move away from you.  of course, I'm only speaking about single folks.



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Offline Visualmon

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2021, 03:50:30 AM »
You know how things always start: a divorcee gets lots of referrals from friends and relatives.

My friend from Facebook said she really liked three of the five that had been referred to her; they all had come to visit her. But then after a while,
they no longer contacted her.

"Have you contacted them?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I just talk or see them whenever they call or come to me here."

I told her that wouldn't work if she really wanted to keep them. She had to call them or even just text them, "even if just to say 'hi, how are you?'" So, she should have been more consistent in contacting the one she really wanted.

If a guy does not get any message from you that there's something burning inside of you for him, too, he'll turn to those girls who show that burning side to him.

She said she was a very obedient girl from childhood and didn't know how to date guys. But I told her showing interest in how they are doing or what they do each day or even if just each week
does not take experience, nor does that indicate that anyone is too pushy or inappropriate.

Sitting pretty ain't gonna do it. It's not just who we are that gets others' attention--in fact, that doesn't always get it; it's what we do, too.

I'll share my short story as an example of what I'm gonna say about the type of girls that don't make a move and another type of girls do make a move on guys they like the most.

I remember a Xyooj girl (name Sammy) had a crush on me since sixth grade. It took her less effort to make me realize she likes me so much. All she did was cat fishing and flirting with me. Her signals got me interested. We exchange letters and I gave her my stuffs to use.

Until she and I moved up to 8th grade, there's a new Hmong gal (name Tracy) came to our school. She's more beautiful than Sammy. My buddy urge me to make a move on the new girl. I try taking to her just for the sake of making my buddy happy. Turn out Tracy isn't what I expected as outgoing and socialize type. She's more like mommy/daddy's little girl and also she's a bit of bottle up inside, not letting any guy cuddle her or fondle with her. Somehow she likes me after our first brief chat during breaks. When Valentine's Day party arrived, I try asking Tracy for a dance and she refuse. Her behavior starts to reveal as "bee itchy". Instead of pushing her, I walk out of the building for fresh air. Good riddance someone pulled the fire alarm and everyone came outside to the basketball court. Sammy and I meet again. One of her friends (name Linda Vaj) ask me for the portfolio of my awesome anime drawings. While Linda scanning through my portfolio, Sammy and I staring at each other. 30 seconds later we smile. Then stare at each other again. I felt magnetic feeling between us. And there's a bee itch @$$ new girl circled around us feeling envy of our mutual connection. I can see her walking closer and closer when Sammy and I still staring at each other. For the rest of the school year I did stay away from Tracy no matter what my buddy insist me to continue wooing her.

Tracy aka new girl = Valedictorian, beautiful, self-fish, boring @$$ muddafawker, envious
Sammy aka Gothic church girl = average + pretty looking, enthusiastic, talkative, risk-taker, mischief

Sammy won my heart and soul. ding ding ding *bell rang*

Y'all may wondering about Tracy. Well, she did went out with few guys after one another. Their relationship didn't last a month. Each guys ditched her because of her bee itchy attitude and boring lifestyle. She married to a guy that was similar to her, conservative and money-lover.



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: A friend has lost three guys and I advised her to be more proactive
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2021, 03:02:00 PM »
Thatís wrong.
Why?

and Visual, what happened to Sammy?



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

 

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