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Author Topic: Are you seeing it too?  (Read 5305 times)

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Offline lilly

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Are you seeing it too?
« on: April 19, 2021, 06:56:03 PM »
I've noticed that a lot of Hmong women are dating non-Hmong men.  I think that's just the way of the future now.  The world is changing.  We don't live in bubbles anymore.  Everyone deserves love and happiness.  And we should date whomever makes us feel the most loved and happy.  But I do wonder... like... how come Hmong men are less attractive to "some" Hmong women now?  And, what makes a non-Hmong man more attractive than a Hmong man to the Hmong woman who chooses a non-Hmong?

Is it because:
1. The Hmong man is less loving?
2. The Hmong man is less caring?
3. The Hmong man feels more entitled?
4. The Hmong man is less responsible?
5. The Hmong woman doesn't want to live the expected role of the "nyab"?
6. Other reasons?

P.S. I wondered how I would feel if my Hmong kids married non-Hmong people.  I used to want them to stick with Hmong.  But I realize now that their happiness is more important.  If a non-Hmong will love them more and make their lives happier, then I'm all for it.



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Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2021, 07:59:40 PM »
I've noticed that a lot of Hmong women are dating non-Hmong men.  I think that's just the way of the future now.  The world is changing.  We don't live in bubbles anymore.  Everyone deserves love and happiness.  And we should date whomever makes us feel the most loved and happy.  But I do wonder... like... how come Hmong men are less attractive to "some" Hmong women now?  And, what makes a non-Hmong man more attractive than a Hmong man to the Hmong woman who chooses a non-Hmong?

Is it because:
1. The Hmong man is less loving?
2. The Hmong man is less caring?
3. The Hmong man feels more entitled?
4. The Hmong man is less responsible?
5. The Hmong woman doesn't want to live the expected role of the "nyab"?
6. Other reasons?

P.S. I wondered how I would feel if my Hmong kids married non-Hmong people.  I used to want them to stick with Hmong.  But I realize now that their happiness is more important.  If a non-Hmong will love them more and make their lives happier, then I'm all for it.

Hmong women are just more liberated now especially compared to those in Laos, and Thailand back in the day where they really don't a have say regarding who they date and/or married. And to a lesser degree, that was still happening here in the U.S. too until they realized they have just as much rights as men.

I also see more and more Hmong men dating and/or married non-Hmong. Not as many as Hmong women but that number has also been increasing...T he main contributing factor is freedom to have personal preferences.



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Offline lilly

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2021, 08:17:36 PM »
Hmong women are just more liberated now especially compared to those in Laos, and Thailand back in the day where they really don't a have say regarding who they date and/or married. And to a lesser degree, that was still happening here in the U.S. too until they realized they have just as much rights as men.

I also see more and more Hmong men dating and/or married non-Hmong. Not as many as Hmong women but that number has also been increasing...T he main contributing factor is freedom to have personal preferences.

Agree.

I think love is beautiful, in whomever you find it with.  There is this Hmong actress, Di Thao (I think that's her name), who married a white man in Australia.  There is this other Hmong girl from Laos who married a white man from the U.S. too.  I came across her youtube channel the other day when I was searching for Hmong Food.  Hahaha.  And on facebook, I'm seeing a bunch of Hmong women with non-Hmong men.  I've also seen some Hmong men with non-Hmong women too (but more so Hmong women than Hmong men).  I don't think the world is as it used to be where there was this air of taboo surrounding dating/marrying non-Hmong people.  I sense and see that things have changed a lot.  Lots of free thinkers out there now.  People letting others live their lives and understanding that people being loved and being happy is more important than anything else.  Life is short.  Everyone should be with someone who makes them feel truly loved and cherished. 



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Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2021, 08:30:34 PM »
My family and extended families have several members from both genders that are dating or have married non-Hmong i.e., White, Black, Spanish as well as other Asian ethnicities. I have a niece that's currently dating an east Indian guy and I myself is married to a Chinese woman.

Growing up I've dated several girls of other race or ethnicity besides Hmong girls so as long as you find the right one, race and/or ethnicity shouldn't matter.



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2021, 09:48:37 PM »
Japanese men suffer the same fate: Japanese women are going outside culture for love.

Why?

The role of the Japanese women is too controlled by the men and culture.

Hmong chicks want the freedom to love how and whom they want.

In a sense, we Hmong need to be extra attractive to win the hearts of our Hmong women.

How do we do be that?

If I knew the answer, I would have already won the Nobel.


« Last Edit: April 19, 2021, 09:53:17 PM by Reporter »

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Offline Gracified23

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2021, 06:52:27 AM »
Most women do not have a preference for Asian men. Sexual market value is too low.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2021, 09:03:06 AM »
There are a lot of school of thoughts are are involved to what you have witness or experiences. 

You start with a curiosity then you put the pieces together. 

For starters, it could be location.  A hmong women who lives in a hmong infested place are still safe.  She will tend to marry her own kind due to what she has in her surroundings.  Like for instance, when I see a hmong chick with a hmong guy, I can't break her up just to be with me.  I mean I'm only 3 hours away but this guy is hovering around her like fly on poop cuz he's local and so the local guy will win the battle, 9 out of 10 times.  The one time that I won is because I was in town.  Love is local first folks.  If you hang out with a chick X amount of time, you will win her heart somehow. 

Now if I see a hmong chick with a white, black, non asian guy, first reaction is to allow me to guess where she's from.  Single asian looking female from the suburb, not poor in statue, educated, probably has a good job, filled up with nothing but "OTHERS" for coworkers so once again, her location is filled up with more "OTHERS" than hmong guys so she is gonna date the guy that clings around to her like leeches. 

And to top it off, I don't go into this whole psychological analysis on my women, especially if I am dating a hmong chick.   Why?  Cuz they all got issues.   :2funny:



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2021, 09:13:13 AM »
but to answer some of your mystical myth about why hmong women likes a non hmong like myself....

I tend to use it to my advantage  :idiot2:

She grows up being in a controlled environment by her parents.  She wants her freedom well freedom she will get with me.  I don't hold his hmong guy requirement when she's with me.  My folks don't even care if she can cook or clean or be a slave to my folks either. 

She doesn't have to speak hmong.  Well duh, try to speak hmong to me then.  I don't speak hmong so to some hmong women and depending on what generation they are from, speaking english first is more preferable to them.  To me, when I first meet a viet stranger, if your english skills are not your strength, I will speak viet with you.  If not then I too prefer to speak the english language as I'm more verse with it.  English first to me as well thus why I don't date my own viet women who don't speak english. 

Then there goes this pop culture that if so and so are dating "others", it is now the norm to date others.  Monkey see, monkey do like a virus that is catching mainstream.  Speaking of which, congrats to your brenda xiong having a baby with that home alone white man looking child.   :2funny:



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2021, 12:47:40 PM »
Lily, a while back we were discussing something similar to this topic and it was an overkill for me ;D ;D ;D ;D so today, I'm just going to listen to everyone's idea/thoughts.



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Offline lilly

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2021, 04:02:05 PM »
Lily, a while back we were discussing something similar to this topic and it was an overkill for me ;D ;D ;D ;D so today, I'm just going to listen to everyone's idea/thoughts.

OK. :)



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Offline lilly

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2021, 04:03:28 PM »
Most women do not have a preference for Asian men. Sexual market value is too low.

Can you expand on this?  What do you mean sexual market value is too low?



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Offline lilly

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2021, 04:13:35 PM »
Japanese men suffer the same fate: Japanese women are going outside culture for love.

Why?

The role of the Japanese women is too controlled by the men and culture.

Hmong chicks want the freedom to love how and whom they want.

In a sense, we Hmong need to be extra attractive to win the hearts of our Hmong women.

How do we do be that?

If I knew the answer, I would have already won the Nobel.

I guess Hmong men need to up their attractiveness to the Hmong women then.  There are lots of amazing/high quality Hmong women that are dating or are married to non-Hmong these days.  So, I just can't help but wonder why that is.  Somewhere along the line, Hmong men must have gone wrong somewhere.  I dunno.  I'm just surprised at the large rate of Hmong women dating/marrying non-Hmong.  To me, it seemed to have happened so fast, or, I may have just been living under a rock and have not noticed it before.  When I saw Hmong women after Hmong women with non-Hmong men last week on facebook, it genuinely surprised me and got me wondering...



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Online Visualmon

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2021, 07:03:06 PM »
Him: he dress up really good for school and work
Her: she told him he looks attractively handsome, but she felt he lacks something else
Him: he told her that he dress up for himself only, not to impress anyone




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There's no need for you to hide. I already saw you.

Offline ProudLao

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2021, 05:48:17 AM »
I've noticed that a lot of Hmong women are dating non-Hmong men.  I think that's just the way of the future now.  The world is changing.  We don't live in bubbles anymore.  Everyone deserves love and happiness.  And we should date whomever makes us feel the most loved and happy.  But I do wonder... like... how come Hmong men are less attractive to "some" Hmong women now?  And, what makes a non-Hmong man more attractive than a Hmong man to the Hmong woman who chooses a non-Hmong?

Is it because:
1. The Hmong man is less loving?
2. The Hmong man is less caring?
3. The Hmong man feels more entitled?
4. The Hmong man is less responsible?
5. The Hmong woman doesn't want to live the expected role of the "nyab"?
6. Other reasons?

P.S. I wondered how I would feel if my Hmong kids married non-Hmong people.  I used to want them to stick with Hmong.  But I realize now that their happiness is more important.  If a non-Hmong will love them more and make their lives happier, then I'm all for it.

True love sees no colors.

As parents your kids happiness is everything so whomever they chose to be with you should embrace it. It’s not your life and your choice to make for them.



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I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

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Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2021, 04:18:50 PM »
True love sees no colors.

As parents your kids happiness is everything so whomever they chose to be with you should embrace it. It’s not your life and your choice to make for them.

+1 for that.. O0



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