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Author Topic: Are you seeing it too?  (Read 3391 times)

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Offline Reporter

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2021, 05:00:06 PM »
I'm not sure what we need to do to up our attractiveness, Lilly. What do you think?

I've seen the quick change, too.

I guess Hmong men need to up their attractiveness to the Hmong women then.  There are lots of amazing/high quality Hmong women that are dating or are married to non-Hmong these days.  So, I just can't help but wonder why that is.  Somewhere along the line, Hmong men must have gone wrong somewhere.  I dunno.  I'm just surprised at the large rate of Hmong women dating/marrying non-Hmong.  To me, it seemed to have happened so fast, or, I may have just been living under a rock and have not noticed it before.  When I saw Hmong women after Hmong women with non-Hmong men last week on facebook, it genuinely surprised me and got me wondering...



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Offline lilly

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2021, 06:36:24 PM »
I'm not sure what we need to do to up our attractiveness, Lilly. What do you think?

I've seen the quick change, too.


I don't know either.  But just based on observations only, I think the following can help:

- Be real.  Be yourself.
- Don't make her feel like you expect her to live up to being a perfect Hmong woman or a perfect Hmong nyab (most Hmong women are over trying to be super woman, super nyab, and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders)
- Support her ambitions and drives
- Encourage her to do better, to be better without sounding judgmental or overly critical
- Show her you also have ambitions and a drive to succeed in life
- Be affectionate (women love being caressed and to know that you are attracted to her).  Giver her hugs/kisses and cuddle with her.  Some Hmong men are super un-affectionate.  Such a turn off.  Intimacy is crucial to a healthy relationship.
- Fulfill her needs.
- Be a great communicator, written and verbally.  Send her texts/stay in touch with her throughout the day.  In person, be a good listener.  Also, be interesting and have good ideas and thoughts to share with her.  Pay attention to the news and talk to her about what's happening in the world.
- Help her out.  Be a team player.  Let her know you guys are a team.  That she's not alone.  That she's not by herself and she doesn't have to handle everything on her own.  You are her better half.  You are there for her.
- Dance with her.  Have fun with her.  Make her laugh.  Make her feel joy (and not sadness or stress or loneliness) when she's around you.
- Take her hand when you guys go for walks
- Be masculine.  Make her feel like she's with a man.
- Make her feel protected.
- Don't make her have doubts.  Prove to her she's the only one for you.
- Be a good and loving and caring partner
- Be a good father (if you have kids)


I don't know.  Those are some of the things I observed that some Hmong men lack... where they can do better at.


« Last Edit: April 21, 2021, 06:41:23 PM by lilly »

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Offline DuMa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #17 on: April 21, 2021, 06:53:59 PM »

I don't know either.  But just based on observations only, I think the following can help:

- Be real.  Be yourself.
- Don't make her feel like you expect her to live up to being a perfect Hmong woman or a perfect Hmong nyab (most Hmong women are over trying to be super woman, super nyab, and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders)
- Support her ambitions and drives
- Encourage her to do better, to be better without sounding judgmental or overly critical
- Show her you also have ambitions and a drive to succeed in life
- Be affectionate (women love being caressed and to know that you are attracted to her).  Giver her hugs/kisses and cuddle with her.  Some Hmong men are super un-affectionate.  Such a turn off.  Intimacy is crucial to a healthy relationship.
- Fulfill her needs.
- Be a great communicator, written and verbally.  Send her texts/stay in touch with her throughout the day.  In person, be a good listener.  Also, be interesting and have good ideas and thoughts to share with her.  Pay attention to the news and talk to her about what's happening in the world.
- Help her out.  Be a team player.  Let her know you guys are a team.  That she's not alone.  That she's not by herself and she doesn't have to handle everything on her own.  You are her better half.  You are there for her.
- Dance with her.  Have fun with her.  Make her laugh.  Make her feel joy (and not sadness or stress or loneliness) when she's around you.
- Take her hand when you guys go for walks
- Be masculine.  Make her feel like she's with a man.
- Make her feel protected.
- Don't make her have doubts.  Prove to her she's the only one for you.
- Be a good and loving and caring partner
- Be a good father (if you have kids)


I don't know.  Those are some of the things I observed that some Hmong men lack... where they can do better at.

In other words, be Vietnamese   :2funny:

you know what?  I'm sure there are hmong men who are haters and do not like to see their hmong women going out with "others" 

then you got guys like myself (the before me now) was just playing the field cuz I'm not ready to tie down just yet and these same hmong women that only dates "others" are dating me but I ghosted them and left them cold on purpose so that they can get butt hurt and go back to their hmong men. 

Now the irony behind this whole sega is that these hmong hating men be hating on me too.  I'm like...I'm doing you guys a favor here and I get no respect.   ;D

So the next hmong chick that likes non hmong and wants to date me, I'm marrying her.   :D



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #18 on: April 21, 2021, 06:59:49 PM »
Like my friend who left his family and kids and his parents and his friends just to be with an old hmong chick and moved to mn.  Yall know who I'm talking about here.

When he was hanging with me, he got this infatuation for Vietnamese women.   I'm talking about the flashy types, hollywood looking, salon and nails status, you know the stereotype for the waves of new americans who came to the USA without any talent but ended up making bank off this hair and nails industry.  Yeah that type.

Well no viet chick like that would give my boy the time of day so guess what he did?  He got with a hmong chick that lives the viet chick lifestyle. 

It is still the hmong and hmong relationship so it got me thinking.  Would these hmong women that dates only "others", well could they also date a white wash or a kaydoo wash hmong guy?  It qualifies as a hmong on hmong relationship and she gets that "others" infatuation of hers to be fulfilled. 

Then again, why go for imitation when you can get with the real thing?  you like white?  Go the white route cuz a hmong white wash guy just doesn't cut it.   :idiot2:



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #19 on: April 21, 2021, 07:33:34 PM »
Sounds like we've gotta be superHmongmen.


I don't know either.  But just based on observations only, I think the following can help:

- Be real.  Be yourself.
- Don't make her feel like you expect her to live up to being a perfect Hmong woman or a perfect Hmong nyab (most Hmong women are over trying to be super woman, super nyab, and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders)
- Support her ambitions and drives
- Encourage her to do better, to be better without sounding judgmental or overly critical
- Show her you also have ambitions and a drive to succeed in life
- Be affectionate (women love being caressed and to know that you are attracted to her).  Giver her hugs/kisses and cuddle with her.  Some Hmong men are super un-affectionate.  Such a turn off.  Intimacy is crucial to a healthy relationship.
- Fulfill her needs.
- Be a great communicator, written and verbally.  Send her texts/stay in touch with her throughout the day.  In person, be a good listener.  Also, be interesting and have good ideas and thoughts to share with her.  Pay attention to the news and talk to her about what's happening in the world.
- Help her out.  Be a team player.  Let her know you guys are a team.  That she's not alone.  That she's not by herself and she doesn't have to handle everything on her own.  You are her better half.  You are there for her.
- Dance with her.  Have fun with her.  Make her laugh.  Make her feel joy (and not sadness or stress or loneliness) when she's around you.
- Take her hand when you guys go for walks
- Be masculine.  Make her feel like she's with a man.
- Make her feel protected.
- Don't make her have doubts.  Prove to her she's the only one for you.
- Be a good and loving and caring partner
- Be a good father (if you have kids)


I don't know.  Those are some of the things I observed that some Hmong men lack... where they can do better at.



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Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #20 on: April 21, 2021, 07:56:04 PM »
As ProudLao put it, "love sees no color"..so if this Minnesota Hmong guy's approach is right for him, more power to him  O0:




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Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #21 on: April 21, 2021, 08:05:08 PM »
Or this Hmong guy in Wisconsin that has married his White wife for like 40 years now:




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Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #22 on: April 21, 2021, 09:01:20 PM »
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) "divorced" is a fact of life for some couple same race and/or ethnicity or not.

Kellie Xiong dropped her White husband as soon as big trouble came knocking:




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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #23 on: April 22, 2021, 05:06:53 PM »

They're divorced now, and it did not end nicely, at least based on her side of the story.
Very rare to see enduring interracial marriages.  My kids will tell me, "Mom, divorce happens in every culture and just because a Hmong marry another Hmong person will not guarantee either."  So I just  :-X and hope for the best.



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But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, Never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.<br />               --Sir Walter Raleigh

Offline theking

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #24 on: April 22, 2021, 07:10:30 PM »
This survey is a little outdated but I bet the percentage between same race and interracial marriages are closer now because the U.S. continues to progress towards that direction:

Several studies using government data have found that overall divorce rates are higher for couples who married out than for those who married inóbut here, too, the patterns vary by the racial and gender characteristic s of the couples. An analysis conducted a decade ago found that 10 years after they married, interracial couples had a 41% chance of separation or divorce, compared with a 31% chance among couples who married within their race, according to a study based on the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG).7 A subsequent study which analyzed 2002 NSFG data found that ďalthough interracial marriages overall are more vulnerable to divorce, this reflects the experience of some but not all couples.Ē It found that after 10 years of marriage, interracial marriages that are most vulnerable to divorce involve white females and non-White males (with the exception of white females/ Hispanic white males) relative to white/white couples. Conversely, there is little or no difference in divorce rates among white men/non-white women couples, and white men/black women couples are actually substantially less likely than white/white couples to divorce by the 10th year of marriage.8

Another study using 1990 to 2001 data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP) suggests that on the whole, interracial marriages are less stable than same-race/ethnicity marriages, but marital dissolution was found to be strongly associated with the race or ethnicity of the individuals in the union. The authors found that ďthe results failed to provide evidence that interracial marriage per se is associated with an elevated risk of marital dissolution.Ē9 Mixed marriages involving blacks and whites were the least stable followed by Hispanics-white couples, whereas mixed marriages involving Asians and whites were even more stable than same-race white marriages.



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #25 on: April 23, 2021, 03:32:18 PM »
The King, thanks for sharing the data.  I kept thinking, in the future divorce & marriage will be over rated not like now.



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Offline Prude

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #26 on: April 25, 2021, 03:00:30 PM »
They are no longer married.

As ProudLao put it, "love sees no color"..so if this Minnesota Hmong guy's approach is right for him, more power to him  O0:





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Offline Reporter

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #27 on: April 25, 2021, 03:08:45 PM »
Interracial marriages work best for the next generation. By that, I mean the mixed kids' marriages.

Very rare to see enduring interracial marriages.  My kids will tell me, "Mom, divorce happens in every culture and just because a Hmong marry another Hmong person will not guarantee either."  So I just  :-X and hope for the best.



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Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2021, 05:16:48 PM »
Interracial marriages work best for the next generation. By that, I mean the mixed kids' marriages.
Sure or work best in our children's generation - they don't have the biases my generation have about interracial marriages and equally important their views on marriage/divorce would be different as well... Ex: They focus more on the person vs. status vs. age vs. etc..

I'm thinking.


« Last Edit: April 25, 2021, 05:36:08 PM by Dok_Champa »

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Offline Gracified23

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Re: Are you seeing it too?
« Reply #29 on: April 25, 2021, 07:11:59 PM »
Can you expand on this?  What do you mean sexual market value is too low?

Sexual market value aka SMV is how attractive the guy is from 1-10 on a number scale. Having a low SMV means his number is well below a 5. This number can vary depend on his location, demographics, and the particular female.

Let me elaborate, when a guy approach a girl if heís a good looking guy who is in shape, the way women react to him will be different to how they might react to another guy if he weren't as good looking or in shape. In that case he would have to make sure his game is on point, his confident and how he dress/stylishly. But itís always going to be harder for him.

There is a minimum threshold and I think it starts more at 6/10 and this is on the basis that you want bare minimum "okay" results with women and have reasonable standards.

Also if the guys are from an ethnic background where it is well known that Asian are at a disadvantage due to stereotypes linked with being Asian/Indian then itís going to be more of a challenge especially if they lack certain traits.

We shouldn't focus solely on our game. Thatís retarded! We should also focus on our style, health and general social skills. Make sure we have other interests outside of game so we don't become weird and lack empathy and social skills.

Why Asian men canít get white girls is because they lack social skills and they appear weird around women. They are shy and also the race thing is affecting them. You can have two Indians. One is in shape and can easily pass for a Cuacasian while the second guy not so much. With online dating, what ethnicity you look like is more important than the ethnicity you are. If a Hmong guy is in shape and has good facial feature, he will still do well than another Hmong guy who looks like a dork. 



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