It's tough for me because:
- Ever since I was little, it's been a tough life.
- I thought the guy I married would help make life easier but he only made it worse and I wasted 20+ years of energy and time on him. I am still paying for the repercussions of choosing to marry him.
- I can't help being who I am because of what I went through. If I don't smile all the time, I can't help it. That's how life shaped me. But I also understand that who I am, is not what a lot of people deserve either. I wish I could always be chipper and happy but that's not me. I feel bad for the people in my life because I hardly ever receive opportunities to smile. But it doesn't mean that I don't love them. It just means that I am working hard, every day, to survive. I wish I could be someone else sometimes so that I can smile more often. But damn it, I can't be someone else!