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Author Topic: Time Capsule  (Read 3168 times)

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #15 on: December 26, 2022, 04:18:55 AM »
"GESTURES"

     Mother stood by the stove and complained about the change in weather. She was expecting it to rain since there had been dark clouds looming in the sky all day, and on the way home from church there was even a light sprinkle. Of course, that wasn't enough to water mother's cucumbers and mustard greens in the community garden, which was behind the community hall. Now it was getting dark and mother was in the middle of preparing dinner. Father could be home at any time from his meeting and she just had to get the squirrel stew ready. She contemplated about turning off the stove completely to prevent the broth from evaporating, which would cause a burn right through the aluminum foil. I volunteered to keep an eye on the stew, but she insisted that these things had to be done delicately. To be quite honest, I hoped that she didn't ask me to go water the garden. I hated to be there in the dark. The street lights emitted an eerie orange glow like that on the poster of "The Exorcist". I focused on reading my book instead and prayed that mother wouldn't make the suggestion. Just as I turned the page to Chapter 5 of "A Separate Peace", mother said that if I left the house now it wouldn't be so bad. From the kitchen window she could see that Uncle Pao and Aunt Ge were still at their plot.
     I let out a big sigh and closed the book. Even though the community garden was just across the street from our house, it was still spooky to be caught there alone. But I could see the outline silhouettes of uncle and aunt so I hurried along in flip flops. Just as I pushed the metal gate open, uncle was making his way towards me. He carried a white bucket filled with cucumbers and a garden hoe. Auntie was calling him to wait as she turned off the hose. Just great, I thought to myself. They're leaving.
     "Are you here to water?" asked uncle.
     I replied with a blunt "yes".
     "We'd stay with you but the children are home alone."
     "That's okay. The house is just across the street."
     The gate squeaked shut and the two of them rushed across the street in tiny steps. I could hear them chatting even as they turned the corner. I quickly made my way across two plots to where the hose laid in a heap. My father had placed a wooden pallet there so we wouldn't be stepping in mud, but then there was the risk of stepping in between the boards under this low light. I twisted the faucet and felt water pressure swell in the hose. I strung along the hose to our plot and started with the green onions. About three minutes into watering the plants, I heard the gate squeak. My heart instantly started racing. I could make out a lean silhouette. Somebody was here. I prayed that it was human.
     "Aw man, you saw me," he teased in a disappointing tone.
     "Oh, thank god it's just you," I said with a sigh of relief.
     "I saw you going across the street, and I thought that maybe I should help you," he said.
     "Really?" I asked rhetorically. The appropriate response should have been "thank you." Why didn't I say that instead?
     "Well yeah. It's getting dark outside."
     "You could see me going across the street?"
     "I was sitting on the porch," Kou explained. "It was too hot inside the house."
     Kou hopped and skipped to the other side of the community garden where there was a second hose. Not before long, he was standing opposite from me with the nozzle pointed at the other half of my mother's garden.
     "Hey, careful there! You almost got me!" I shouted to him.
     "What did you say? I can't hear you! The crickets are too loud," he yelled back. Just then, I felt a cool spray of water on my face and on my chest. Then I heard him chuckle.
     "I don't believe you! I know you heard me."
     "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess my aim is off. The lighting here is really bad."
     "Stop messing around. I want to get out of here as soon as possible."
     I could see moths gather around the glowing street light.
     "It's not so bad. Are you scared of the dark or what?" he asked.
     "Kind of. I really don't like it in the garden. There are too many weird noises," I explained.
     Mother would be upset if she knew that I skimped and did not water long enough for the plants to absorb. She always asked me afterwards if I remembered to let the water soak and every time I reassured her that I did. Except that I really didn't. Gardening was too arduous and I didn't have the patience for it. I did not like the way the plants brushed against my legs or the smell of the earth. I always ran into caterpillars or slugs so I grew deathly afraid of their appearances. I remembered the time that I nearly stepped on a garter snake. That day I felt paralyzed from fear and could not accompany mother to the garden for the rest of the week.
     When Kou noticed me return the hose to the pallet, he questioned if I had watered the rows thoroughly.
     "I think it will be okay," I said. "It's just for one time. Tomorrow my mother or I will return to water it in the afternoon."
     "Oh come on. I'll finish up."
     He walked around closer to where I had been standing and made sure that my mother's garden got the watering it needed. I didn't think it was polite to leave so I waited at the edge for Kou to finish. However, it didn't seem like he was in any rush even as the night set in. Didn't he know that it was close to after 9 o'clock? He whistled away and sprayed long, high arcs into the midnight blue sky.
     "Your whistling is creeping me out," I told him. "It's just the two of us here."
     "I know." He let out one long whistle. "Okay, I'll stop whistling now since it scares you that much."
     I glanced across the street at my house. All the lights were on, including the one in my bedroom. I wondered if Gnia called. He usually did at this hour. Just as I began losing patience, Kou was winding up the hose around the metal hook. I was now standing by the metal gate and waiting for him as he hopped across garden plots and nearly slipped. I expected us to say farewell and then go our separate ways, but Kou slowly walked behind me instead. Therefore, I felt compelled to slow down. The motions lights on the front door illuminated as we approached the house. I noticed dirt marks running up his bare legs and as I looked down, my own feet were crusted with mud.   
     "Thanks for helping me out," I said.
     "Anytime."
     Without saying good night, I headed inside to wash my feet. They felt itchy from the mud. Mother was in the kitchen fanning steamed rice. My father didn't like the taste of rice in the electric cooker so we were still preparing it the old-fashioned way.
     "Someone called for you," said mother as I exited the bathroom. "You were out watering the garden for a very long time."
     "I wanted to make sure that the water penetrated the vegetables," I lied. I really didn't care.
     "You didn't have to be so thorough since you were alone," she said.
     I paused and contemplated whether or not I should tell her that I wasn't alone. She might start looking at Kou in a new light. Then I would certainly have to endure mother's comments about us whether factual or delusional. 
     "Oh, I thought that you wanted me to be thorough," I told her.
     "What's done is done."
     That was mother's way of ending the conversation.

     A few days later my friend and I were out walking. Just as we turned the corner onto my street, Kou pulled up alongside on a 10-speed. Pang giggled and tapped me on the arm.
     "You two don't have to stop talking just because I'm here," said Kou. "We can talk about your boyfriends."
     "I don't have a boyfriend, but she does," Pang said and then proceeded to nudge me in a playful manner.
     "What? I don't have a boyfriend," I stated. I could feel my cheeks turning pink as a peach.
     "What about Gnia? You talk about him all the time."
     I couldn't believe my friend, Pang. Why was she bringing this up? I never told anybody about Gnia. Not to my mother, my sisters, or even my cousins - well except for the cousin whom I met him through. And I never said that he was my boyfriend either.
     "Do I know him?" asked Kou.
     "He's not from around here. He's in college, he's a soccer player, AND he's really cute."
     "Okay, no more information," I interjected and pulled her away. "She's being hysterical."
     "You two are so immature," said Kou, and he was right.
     I felt embarrassed and was greatly annoyed by Pang for sharing that information. What was she thinking anyways?
     My mother and aunt happened to be coming from the garden just as we stopped in front of the house. They were talking all excitedly about a closing department store. The inflections in their voices rang high and low. Mother insisted that I drive them there as soon as they both cleaned up. Ever since I got my driver's license, mother turned over her car to me and preferred to ride as a passenger. She and aunt would file into the backseat of the white Corolla so they could gossip away. In this way, I received a lot of secondhand information about the people in our community. Mother and aunt worked with a lot of other Hmong mothers and wives who also had loose lips. This I discovered during the summers that I worked there.
     Pang and I were eager to check out the going-out-of-business store. We hoped to find excellent deals. She rushed home to get permission while I raced inside to grab my money and keys. Once mother and aunt were in the backseat, I drove to Pang's house only to find out that she had to stay home with her younger siblings. It was a disappointment that she had to miss out.
     It took us awhile to find the place since it wasn't actually at the department store but in a warehouse. Once inside, items were placed in no particular order. There was a lot of stuff still in boxes and clothing items were dumped in large bins. I took a look and decided that there was nothing there I wanted, but mother and aunt darted from one bin to the next with glee. Mother figured out that the bins were arranged according to dress size, and thus directed my aunt to the plus sizes. I wandered around the warehouse by myself and was careful not to knock over anything. In heaps where no item was on display, I would curiously open a box to see what product was being marked 60% off. I didn't know if it was allowed but I did it anyways, and there was no employee to prevent me from doing so.
     I was heavily focused on spraying unfamiliar brands of perfume when I felt a tug on my hair. I turned around to see Kou standing there. He was in his usual get-up; khaki shorts, a white crew, and a light blue button up.
     "That is too heavy," he complained.
     "I'm glad you like it," I teased and sprayed some over him.
     "Whew! That one is going to stain," he said and coughed.
     We didn't say much after that but proceeded to walk around to look at stuff. So much stuff. Not very attractive stuff. Mostly, we just made fun of the stuff. Like the tacky sunglasses with the deflecting lens that wasn't even adhere straight.
     "Oh yeah, that is so you," I told him. "Make sure you get two pairs in case you lose one."
     As we circled back to the front of the warehouse, a pink, ceramic, castle caught my eye. It was tacky in a girlie, magical, Disney princess kind of way. I picked it up and felt the weight in my hands. There was so much details like the carving of each brick, the trims along the windows, and towers with blue roofs. There was crystal like coating so that it glistened like a sugar castle.
     "This is kind of nice," I said as I placed it back on top of the boxes filled with other identical castles. "It costs too much for something that doesn't do anything."           
     "Maybe next time."
     "There isn't a next time because this is a closeout sale." 
     "Oh yeah, I forgot."
     We met mother and aunt at the checkout line. Each with a heap of clothes draped over their forearms. Mother wondered if I liked anything and I replied no. They were delighted to see Kou and asked if he brought along his mother. After I got home, my sister and niece came to pick me up for volleyball practice. The usual players were at the park and we practiced until the sun fell behind the horizon. However, the team was feeling restless and wanted to go out for pho. After much debate over which pho restaurant we should go to, we agreed to meet at the one in the old Asian plaza. My sister drove me home to change and get my money. She lectured me to hurry up and not dawdle, as if I would. The motion lights came on just as my foot hit the first step of the front porch. Right there at the top of the low staircase was a pink castle from the closeout store. I slowed down to pick it up.
     "What is that?" my sister yelled from the car.
     "A castle."
     "Why? Never mind, just hurry up," she ordered.
     But I did not rush. I did not run, and I did not walk with urgency. I carried the castle in my arms like a precious newborn to my room where I placed it on a shelf by the bed. 
     
     


« Last Edit: December 28, 2022, 09:19:46 PM by Believe_N_Me »

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2022, 10:25:08 PM »
"OLD FRIEND"

     Old friend, your sister approached me shortly after the Hmong New Year to inform me that you were in town and was looking for me. She knew that I was there because she had spotted the husband standing in a food line, except that I was not with him. I wished that she would've approached him to inquire about my whereabouts. Yet, the two of you walked down the vendor aisles, roamed in the food area, and waited by the entrances, but I did not come along. Old friend, if not for your sister, would you still know me? It's been decades since we last spent time together. Many things have changed but I still remember the time you and I lived in that dingy town that I hated. That was a time before my current life. It was a time that I prefer not to remember, but you are the only good thing that happened there. The name of that place only conjures your name and memories of you.
     You and I were stuck in that place and I'm pretty sure that I hated it more than you did. While living there, I learned to appreciate the place where I grew up and how blessed I had been. Without you, I don't think I could have lasted that long. You called me up. You gave me your time. You stayed with me and you consoled me. Everyday you and I would spend time together even if it was just to bump a volleyball in the park.
     I remember the time you and I went to watch the fireworks along the river bank. It was a chilly night that neither of us were prepared for. We shared a thin blanket that I kept in the car and we stayed until the very end. It was obvious that neither of us was in a rush to go home. Oh yeah, and that car! My first car. I brought you along for support and we test drove a whole bunch of cars just for the fun of it. I don't think they ever suspected that we drove out to the rural areas and even stopped for slushies.
     One time I was feeling really trapped and you brought me home to meet your family. They were so understanding and hospitable. You and I were always venturing out to explore places where nobody else wanted to try.
     I didn't know how to tell you that I was moving, but I think you always knew that I wasn't going to stay. When I finally had the nerves to let you know, the lease on my place was already up. For a whole week you stayed silent and we didn't see each other. Then on moving day, you came over to watch as people came to pick through the furniture that was being sold off. There wasn't much because I never planned on putting down roots anyway. We hugged each other and you managed to wish me well because you knew that my spirit was slowly dying in that place.
     A few years after I left, you came out for a visit. I was ecstatic to see you again and couldn't wait to show you all the exciting places where I hung out and all the cool things that I was doing. I don't remember whose idea it was to go camping in that weather, but we did it anyways. I think it was because you'd never been in a place like that and you really wanted to immerse yourself in that environment. Anyways, I just remember that we got to the campsite at night and somebody had to hold a flashlight in order to setup the tent. It was so cold that we slept with our coats on, and in the morning when we rose, there was snow on the ground. The only good thing on that trip were the juicy peaches we bought at a small shop along the way.
     I've thought about you over the years. I wondered how you were doing and if you still lived in that town. How is your family? How many children do you have? When I found out that your sister lives here, I couldn't stop talking about you. She was not aware of our close bond because she was not there with you and me. She did not know that at that time, you and I only had each other. I often wondered what kept you away for so long when you could've just came to see your sister. She and I come across each other a lot, but she never mentions your visits if there are any.
     Old friend, come visit again soon.

     



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2023, 02:58:51 AM »
"CHASING AMY" - WHAT I NEVER TOLD YOU

     
       


« Last Edit: January 17, 2023, 05:56:03 PM by Believe_N_Me »

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #18 on: January 17, 2023, 02:54:26 PM »
ALTERNATE ENDING

...coming soon!


« Last Edit: January 18, 2023, 02:15:48 AM by Believe_N_Me »

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2023, 09:57:52 AM »
"LEAP OF FAITH"

Something in our energy changed.
I want to believe. I want to say "yes".
They say that time heals.
But I'm afraid all it did was reveal.
I'm hurting again. You know why.
I'm picking up vibes. Something's not right.
You changed. Your mind changed. Your heart changed.
You disconnected.
Is it always going to be like this?
Hot then cold?
Yes then no?
You gave up.
I'm not worth it.
Okay. You win.
When you love someone, you let them win.
Taking a leap of faith is for only when they choose you.
You didn't choose me.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2023, 10:06:29 AM »
"CLARITY"

I know why you stayed.
I know why you endured.
I know why you couldn't let go.
I know why you're still connected.
Isn't it something that you can do all these things for someone whom you never loved or were in love with? But you will stretch out the time to be with them if it means that you can be part of something that they care about. You will not put effort to creating your own family because you are already content with being a part of their family. This way, you can feel joy and comforted of having a part-time family without all the obligations and responsibiliti es to a real family - your own. What hurts the most is when you talk about wanting a family but you put in so much time loving their family rather than rushing to build your own.


« Last Edit: May 29, 2023, 06:37:36 PM by Believe_N_Me »

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #21 on: June 10, 2023, 01:43:35 AM »
Monday, October 10, 2022 - 9:10am

“More Than Enough”

My Love is…
The morning light that wakes me from a dream; at the end of night there he greets.
A gentle breeze sweeping through the window and underneath the sheets.
An endless wall of rain in times of drought; a patch of grass in the tundra snow.
He gives me fertile soil, rich in nutrients, and long summer months to grow.
A knight he is, a deliverer of justice quick to amend all that is wrong.
Handsome, heavenly angel - gentle and warm - in his wings where I belong.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Time Capsule
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2024, 06:01:56 PM »
New year, old faces.
New problems, same places.
New spark, past flame.
New start, tired game.

   


« Last Edit: February 02, 2024, 02:05:45 PM by Believe_N_Me »

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