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Author Topic: Which type of our old Hmong traditional marriage relationship has lasted longer?  (Read 489 times)

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Offline Reporter

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1. Eloper/voluntary marriage,
2. Abduction, or
3. Arranged (there's some coercion by elders here, so this isn't entirely voluntary).

Which type have you seen lasting a lifetime or the longest possible?



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Offline theking

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From what I've seen over the years from Laos to America, it depends on the couples and what they make of it.

With that said, I heard as well as seen a few cases of forced marriages that ended up in suicide i.e., opium overdose back in Laos. Those were the shortest ones that I've heard of and/or seen.



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Offline Reporter

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Yeah. Opium and kuab taw hnyuv tips and young leaves were powerful killers.



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Offline Hung_Low

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1. Eloper/voluntary marriage,
2. Abduction, or
3. Arranged (there's some coercion by elders here, so this isn't entirely voluntary).

Which type have you seen lasting a lifetime or the longest possible?

My parents lasted for more than 70+ years until his death when he was 95. My dad abducted my mom...
My dad's only brother and his wife lasted for 60+ years... He was forced to married her because she followed him home  :2funny: :2funny:



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Offline Reporter

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My parents lasted for more than 70+ years until his death when he was 95. My dad abducted my mom...
My dad's only brother and his wife lasted for 60+ years... He was forced to married her because she followed him home  :2funny: :2funny:

Yeah. Your parents' situation is typical of what I have heard of others, too. The abductions last very long--into "until death do they part."



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Offline Visualmon

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I noticed the patterns from 1 to 3. They're like steps to get your spouses in orderly fashion. lol



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Offline Reporter

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I noticed the patterns from 1 to 3. They're like steps to get your spouses in orderly fashion. lol

Orderly?



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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R,

Which one will you practice?



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Offline Reporter

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BNM,

For me, it's a joint decision.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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I see, R. You both will abduct each other.  O0

You will bring your best men to "zij nws" and she will bring her best women to "zij koj".  ;D



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Offline Reporter

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If she's hot enough, she can abduct me alone. I will even push myself her way: my consent. She doesn't need a bunch of best girls around.

Be very careful in using best men and best women though. There have been cases in  history and ongoing situations where the bride or groom does #1 above with one of them.




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Offline Believe_N_Me

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R,

I guess that is why in the olden days many couples secretly eloped without warning. Too many things can go wrong especially with jealous spirits lurking around.

Btw, what is up with this marriage talk? Finally found the girl who tickles your fancy?

I knew it! liziq!  O0



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Offline Reporter

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I want to be a daddy soon.



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Offline theking

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If the goal is just to "be a daddy", there are several options out there and some doesn't even required marriage or even having a partner. However, money will be required with some options. From what I've seen that's universally true is, time, dedication, and resources will be needed if you want to be a good dad.

And for those that doesn't want to deal with newborn, they can do what Suni Lee's dad did, meet up with a woman that already has kids even at the toddler stage, a kid can still considered the man that help raised him/her dad.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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I want to be a daddy soon.

Don't you think you should find the mommy first?  ???

Well whoever she is, she will be a lucky gal if she can keep you. However, she'll probably have to watch her back.  :D

And then there are those who love you but never got you.



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