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Author Topic: Why do men want us to chase them?  (Read 1252 times)

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Offline Rebel

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Why do men want us to chase them?
« on: January 24, 2023, 12:15:22 AM »
Why do guys give us their numbers, even when we are not interest and then  expects us to chase and conquer them? It doesn’t feel natural.  Surely they just want to get intimate but could it also be that they want to feel love and cared for too? Am I missing something here? I don’t mind initialing and reciprocating but then the lines blur and things just don’t feel right to me. Or why would you be so interested in a girl but expect her to do all the callings and plannings? It doesn’t make sense to me… it has a very masculine feel but again, am I just not good at relationship and could this be a normal thing?



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Offline Visualmon

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2023, 02:25:02 AM »
The question is which guy do girls really attract to, nice guys that lie so much or nice guys that act like A-holes.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2023, 01:33:51 PM »
It is a playbook that I still do and let me give you some psychological implication to what a guy like myself does what he does   :2funny:

When I give you my number, it is only because I'm the alpha male and you are the ugly looking one to me.  If I give it to hot girls like yourself, I am expect the same response like you are giving right now like why should you call and who the hell am I to reverse the role? 

When I'm talking about ugly girls, not literally but women that are easy target for me.  I over power you because I'm the one that leads.  In the club, if I tell you to come here, you are going to come to me.  Think in terms of hot jerks out there like andrew tates, he will probably do such a thing.  I'm not hot or anything but I'm just saying that if I was hot, that'll be an easy way to pick up women because to me, it is a game of manipulation.  If I can get you to call me, I already know that you are at least interested and if I know this, I do not have to chase you and I can just skip dinner and movie and take you straight to my love hotel where I feast and possibly kick you out of my house for staying too long.   :2funny:

Giving you my number may also be my last resort.  I can't get you to give me your number but I have that one last out and that is to give you my business card.  You'll be surprised how many women in despair do call me up and just wanted to talk because they are going through a rough time.  I attack you at your vulnerability stance.  If you cry, here's my shoulder and before you know it, we are going to make out. 

You see rebel, the difference between you and I is that you are hot and I am not.  You are naive and I'm full of experiences.  I only need you as a friend and I get to send you home so you can marry someone else.  I'm not here for a long time but a good time.  After I sweet talk to you, I will have to go and buy my hmong gf a box of chocolate because I will feel guilty about it but hey, it is all worth it.   ;D



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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2023, 11:10:43 AM »
either the guy is highly arrogant or low key self esteem..or just flat out confusing..lol s

either way, a legit dude would put in the effort and make the initial moves, if once once he sense she's not interested or not interested enough for him to invest more time and energy. He moves on, no hard feelings.

so yeah, if you have to wonder, than you missed the red flags. if he's arrogant, run away...if he's just flat out weird or low key self esteem, then send him the message he needs more experience..so don't feel bad either way. you're either saving yourself, or you're bettering someone...you got nothing to lose here. haha



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2023, 09:43:17 PM »
They call me instead of the other way around.

Looking back, I could've done more.

For example, my first flame. I really liked him a lot. He did all the initiating and when he stopped I didn't even ask him what was going on. I told myself that he just wasn't interested anymore. I had a good cry and then began meeting other people. About 6 years later he got my number after I broke up with some other guy, paid me a visit, and told me that we never broke up. He believed that I'm the one who ghosted him. Anyways, he started calling me again except that I had just met my husband and I wanted to give that a chance.



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P90xbox

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2023, 11:25:53 PM »
They call me instead of the other way around.

Looking back, I could've done more.

For example, my first flame. I really liked him a lot. He did all the initiating and when he stopped I didn't even ask him what was going on. I told myself that he just wasn't interested anymore. I had a good cry and then began meeting other people. About 6 years later he got my number after I broke up with some other guy, paid me a visit, and told me that we never broke up. He believed that I'm the one who ghosted him. Anyways, he started calling me again except that I had just met my husband and I wanted to give that a chance.

i get into this situation a lot back then..i think to be fair though, i lacked self esteem back then. the other thing was maybe I really didn't like her to the point I would fight for her until she puts a restraining order on me.lols.plus like most young bucks, we don't see or get the clues girls send us...okay so she has been avoiding me. that must means she dont want me to call anymore..when maybe its more like she's testing to see how interested and how much effort Im willing to put in for her..but then again, its like if she really likes me too then we shouldn't have to test one another. Im a guy, and a lot of young girls don't udnerstand that guys are straightforwar d creatures..lol s but i think the real reason is, too much pride, getting rejected or turn down would be too much to bear..these are the kind of girls that ends up with the jackasses..bec ause the jackass will be aggressive and persistent even when she gives him all the signs of not interested..we ll for most girls, they eventually give in, because once the jackass releases his hormones, she's all in because now her hormones are raging too...lols

my point is everyone is different, at at different stages in their life, how they see the courting,dating, relationship scene is different and can change overtime through more growing and maturity..alon g with life and dating experience. as long as we all had good intentions, that's what matters..even if there were things we coulda done better or handle better. we don't learn if we dont make mistakes.

I use to say well, I gave those girls a chance..but now I think of it, maybe I didn't really put in enough effort. Maybe I get the gist they want to test me, but I wasn't having it...Hell, why was I so afraid of getting rejected anyway. but all in all, everyone learns from their mistakes,,most of us...and when we do, it's just makes us more whole, and therefore making us choose wiser, and handle courtship,dating, relationships better..but even still....no relationship is guarantee...mo st of us are in a relationship for the sake of not being alone...I would still be single til this day, but I came across an angel that I know would die for me and vice versa...haha maybe..maybe not..we'll see...lols



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2023, 12:33:46 AM »
I was too naive to test any guy. I waited for them to initiate because that is how I was raised. I also didn't put in all of my effort before a marriage because I was taught that kind of investment should be reserved for marriage. I also happen to see a lot of women who do such things for their long-time boyfriends who end up dumping them and now they're very bitter, angry, and destroyed - especially if they can't find a replacement. Some remain vengeful even after they've married!

Now that I am older, I am content with myself. I am devoted, cooperative in relationship, reasonable, nurturing, attractive, intelligent, articulate, cultured, supportive, etc. and come from a good family. I've shown that I can mother responsible, productive children who are respectful. I've helped elevate the husband's status, reputation, and accumulated satisfactory wealth.

Why should I chase any man? What else do I have to do to show how much I love a man? If that isn't enough then he doesn't deserve me.

The way I look at it nowadays is that if he can get better than me, that woman won't stay. He'll have to settle for less than me, but then he'll be miserable ---> refer to my other posting about people who dump you for someone less than you are. It's because they know they can't keep up with you, can't make you happy, and prefer to be with someone who makes them miserable but will put up with their ways.


« Last Edit: January 31, 2023, 01:41:35 AM by Believe_N_Me »

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Offline Reporter

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2023, 02:11:43 PM »
Was his number on a business card?

He might just be advertising his business.


 
Why do guys give us their numbers, even when we are not interest and then  expects us to chase and conquer them? It doesn’t feel natural.  Surely they just want to get intimate but could it also be that they want to feel love and cared for too? Am I missing something here? I don’t mind initialing and reciprocating but then the lines blur and things just don’t feel right to me. Or why would you be so interested in a girl but expect her to do all the callings and plannings? It doesn’t make sense to me… it has a very masculine feel but again, am I just not good at relationship and could this be a normal thing?



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The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2023, 11:17:01 PM »
Was his number on a business card?

He might just be advertising his business.

True.  ;D

If someone you haven't seen in years suddenly invites you to lunch it might only mean one thing.......






































....they are trying to recruit you to join their mlm marketing business.



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2023, 02:47:28 AM »
True.  ;D

If someone you haven't seen in years suddenly invites you to lunch it might only mean one thing.......






































....they are trying to recruit you to join their mlm marketing business.

You've got it, BNM.

So, Rebel shouldn't feel that having to chase him yet until she has made one call to him to find out more.



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"...
The snooping eye sees everything."--Ono No Komachi, Japanese Poetess (emphasis)

Offline Dok_Champa

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2023, 06:55:46 PM »
I did say when a man is into you no need to chase. 



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2023, 10:14:02 PM »
Don't chase them and don't play house with them.

If they don't try to make a commitment to you after you've already shown them how much you love them then it's not worth it and they're not the right guy. Let them move on to the next woman who will treat them horribly. It always happen that way anyways. And this also goes for the men who already has a good woman but sabotaged that relationship.

If they don't want you when you're giving them your best, then they don't deserve you.



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2023, 07:57:46 PM »
Because it is sometimes a test to see if such an independent woman is really independent.

Or maybe he's not a chaser but needs to be led by the nose.  O0



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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: Why do men want us to chase them?
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2023, 10:16:25 AM »
Why do guys give us their numbers, even when we are not interest and then  expects us to chase and conquer them? It doesn’t feel natural.  Surely they just want to get intimate but could it also be that they want to feel love and cared for too? Am I missing something here? I don’t mind initialing and reciprocating but then the lines blur and things just don’t feel right to me. Or why would you be so interested in a girl but expect her to do all the callings and plannings? It doesn’t make sense to me… it has a very masculine feel but again, am I just not good at relationship and could this be a normal thing?

Hmmm... interesting. Why do women want men to chase them too? Equity and equality dictate that both sexes should chase those that they want to date... It's not a guy thing or a girl thing.



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