Ghosting - What is it and how to deal with it?

[Dok_Champa]

I found this online and sharing since it's about ghosting...

How do you handle getting ghosted?
I recently asked a Hmong girl I liked out on a date just for lunch. She said yes. On that day I called her twice she didn’t pick up. Then I shot her a text and she didn’t respond either.
I didn’t bother anymore after the third try because i realized it was a waste of my time.
I’ve just been thinking a lot, why couldn’t the girl just be honest from the beginning? If it was a “I’m not interested” I would’ve been okay with it. I think being truthful goes a long way.
I’ve never been ghosted before but it just seems like such a cruel thing to do to another human being. Regardless if you’re a boy or girl. I guess it says a lot about that person.
How would you all handle the situation? I just blocked all contact with her.

Yes that's why I said people who use ghosting are cowards and let me add cruel

[Believe_N_Me]

I like how you say that the gal raises a red flag when they expected more out of the relationship.  This one gal was literally crazy all over me.  A fling? I don't know but whenever her parents would leave for work, she would called me up and I would run to her for some fun.  As soon as I enters her door, she was all over me like the movies and we would be making out and tearing each other's clothing apart and taking turns rolling around the walls until we ended up in her bed. 

Now with this one, I did my best but I was a young broke college student.  I gave her enough but she wanted it more.  She wanted the whole limelight, wine and dine and romantic stuff she sees on TV.  One day, she came to my apartment just to give me my boxer that I left behind.  I took it as a diss and I ghosted her.  Changed my numbers and all.  I can't be with someone who expectation was off the chart like that.  She ended up dating an older white guy after that and a few years after, she ended up with a china looking man.  That was years ago so I stopped keeping tab on her. 

Another one I ghosted because she called me up and said she think she was pregnant.  Got me all worried and ish.  I was in line at a hot club and she called me and it threw my night.  A week thereafter, she said false alarm.  I ghosted her after that.   I got out of there in a quickness.  I just don't like the liability issue.  Young and dumb I'm telling you. 

What I am saying is ghosting is an act that men perform when they are under stress.  If they have that other woman and feels the stress that he will get caught for being a cheater, he will ghost and end it all.  Both of my example proves that I was under duress.  Like dropping a college course with or with a W, that big weight off your shoulder feeling.  Yeah, that is what ghosting feels like.  Better than orgasm at times   

I'm learning that a lot of older, single/divorced/widowed men have a "friend with benefit" woman if not more than one. These are just the men who don't do hookups with different women. This fwb is available for companionship, money, sex, a place to live, and even family gatherings so he can have a part-time family during the holidays.

Life is great for the older, single/divorced/widowed man.

[DuMa]

I found this online and sharing since it's about ghosting...

How do you handle getting ghosted?
I recently asked a Hmong girl I liked out on a date just for lunch. She said yes. On that day I called her twice she didn’t pick up. Then I shot her a text and she didn’t respond either.
I didn’t bother anymore after the third try because i realized it was a waste of my time.
I’ve just been thinking a lot, why couldn’t the girl just be honest from the beginning? If it was a “I’m not interested” I would’ve been okay with it. I think being truthful goes a long way.
I’ve never been ghosted before but it just seems like such a cruel thing to do to another human being. Regardless if you’re a boy or girl. I guess it says a lot about that person.
How would you all handle the situation? I just blocked all contact with her.

Yes that's why I said people who use ghosting are cowards and let me add cruel

I wouldn't consider that ghosting.  The guy asked a chick out and she said yes initially out of respect but she can back out of the deal because she's a girl and females should say no to creeps that she does not feel comfortable with. 

They need to develop a relationship longer than that to consider ghosting as ghosting and to make it count and worth while.  Emotional damage happens when you already know one another.  First date ghosting or second date ghosting does not count because the emotional damaging part is at the minimal and people can easily move on with their lives. 

Ghosting to me is the act of breaking up without traditional breaking up method.  Missing person report sort of.  They just vanish out of thin air. 

It has been done so much and so many that it has become a trend and the norm.  Get with the program.  Rejection is still god's protection.  I wouldn't even call someone stop contacting you after a few dates as ghosting either.  I get a lot of those in my days.  There was no spark, no heat, no fire and so they drifted off and I don't even bother to check if they change their numbers either.  I just move along because and I'm not bragging but by the following weekend, I'll get me a new sets of numbers and the trial to tribulation starts all over again.  I'm sorry if women do not take ghosting better than men. 

[DuMa]

I'm learning that a lot of older, single/divorced/widowed men have a "friend with benefit" woman if not more than one. These are just the men who don't do hookups with different women. This fwb is available for companionship, money, sex, a place to live, and even family gatherings so he can have a part-time family during the holidays.

Life is great for the older, single/divorced/widowed man.

It is a curse actually

Lets talk in terms of investments.  If he has a gf or wife that is his sig1 and he has something on the side, he shouldn't be buying that other woman and LV bag and give his sig1 a coach bag.  That's a bad investment. 

If he does not have a significant other1 and all he has are flings and FWB and what not then it is up to him and his psychotic mind to figure out which one gets the LV and which one gets knock off or maybe give every single one of them an LV. 

Older men who does not have an SG1 are living the lifestyle like a young adult who does not plan in getting marry at all.  Why buy the cow when the milk is free?  Pimping isn't easy unless he has a ton of money and bad prospects will come to him instead of him coming to them.  You can't pimp forever.  It is exhausting to be chasing skirts all the time.  The only outs that can allows a guy to pimp forever is if he has money, good looks, famous like a Leonardo DiCaprio but even him must find it tiresome to not have an SG1.  These single older men you are talking about are there, at their current state not by choice but by the fate that plays them.   Whatever the outcome, one must take it and face it and always bring on that fake smile so the public can think that he is ok with it but really no, his life is a shame and incomplete.

Remember that all these women that he's with will one day marry someone else, if it is not him.  So then he must find replacement to string more along and that's a lot of work for an old geezer.  I cringed.   

[P90xbox]

yes, I worked with a lot of youngsters and the young guns tells me, ghosting and one night wonders are common...they always tell me this girl that girl wants to get to know me...and I tell em, I'm old enough to be her grandfather..l ols...so they tell me, dude, just hit n run..they want the same...lols... .I tell em when I was their age...the first girl you lay eyes on is your first love. the first date means you guys are a couple. anything after that is cheating and anything goes after that.....lols

dating is like anything else...overtim e it evolves and mutates...lols i just tell people, know your worth, know your type,..there's no secret to getting anyone you want...looks, money, fuking, and status only go so far...the only thing that will give two people the best odds of a long lasting relationship lies deep, much deeper than just physical and mental attraction...s piritual attraction must be there...haha basically sharing the same values, views, and thoughts...the deepest of them all must match..haha if all esle fails...just remember, single life is true freedom..lols

[P90xbox]

the only two times I ghosted someone...lols

1st...way back in the days..she was from Michigan..we e-mail here and there...i think we were both too young and shy to talk on the phone though...so we just either e-mail time to time, or every now and then we exchange snail mails...haha then one day, I noticed she was e-mailing me a lot more, and sending me pictures of herself...Hone stly, I wasn't crazily physically attracted to her, but I wasn't completely unattracted to her either...but for whatever reason, I never wrote back...I still don't know why, or can't remember why...I think it was something like...I got girls dissing me a lot back then...lols and some would out of the blue hit me up again...and so I must of thought very negatively "oh so she probably was seeing, dating other dudes but it didn't work out and now she's making herself available to me, I am not going to be nobody's rebound or back up (as they call it back then)..lols...it was very immature and egoistic of me to think that way..what if she just realize that she likes me...lols, hell, what if she was just being nice...quit thinking so highly of yourself dude...lols

2nd girl....

another internet girl....e-mail and chat online for almost a year...finally I callher...but I couldn't say a single word...it was like, hey, how are you doing. good, me too...long ass pause....so uhhh, what time did u get to cali...last night around 11 pm...cool...so uhh hey, can u call me back in a bit...I never did, but I shot her a e-mail making a b.s excuse...

she reply to my e-mail me weeks later...and I never reply back to her again...I was too embarassed and ashame of myself and lack of self esteem at the time...I was beyond virgin...never held hands with a girl, never kiss no girl, and I wasn't really all that good looking like I am today...lols

[DuMa]

the only two times I ghosted someone...lols

1st...way back in the days..she was from Michigan..we e-mail here and there...i think we were both too young and shy to talk on the phone though...so we just either e-mail time to time, or every now and then we exchange snail mails...haha then one day, I noticed she was e-mailing me a lot more, and sending me pictures of herself...Hone stly, I wasn't crazily physically attracted to her, but I wasn't completely unattracted to her either...but for whatever reason, I never wrote back...I still don't know why, or can't remember why...I think it was something like...I got girls dissing me a lot back then...lols and some would out of the blue hit me up again...and so I must of thought very negatively "oh so she probably was seeing, dating other dudes but it didn't work out and now she's making herself available to me, I am not going to be nobody's rebound or back up (as they call it back then)..lols...it was very immature and egoistic of me to think that way..what if she just realize that she likes me...lols, hell, what if she was just being nice...quit thinking so highly of yourself dude...lols

2nd girl....

another internet girl....e-mail and chat online for almost a year...finally I callher...but I couldn't say a single word...it was like, hey, how are you doing. good, me too...long ass pause....so uhhh, what time did u get to cali...last night around 11 pm...cool...so uhh hey, can u call me back in a bit...I never did, but I shot her a e-mail making a b.s excuse...

she reply to my e-mail me weeks later...and I never reply back to her again...I was too embarassed and ashame of myself and lack of self esteem at the time...I was beyond virgin...never held hands with a girl, never kiss no girl, and I wasn't really all that good looking like I am today...lols

I disqualified you for being a digital pimp and in ghosting, it does not count.  I mean you never met in person or touch one another so how much damage can ghosting to a ghost hurts?   

[P90xbox]

I disqualified you for being a digital pimp and in ghosting, it does not count.  I mean you never met in person or touch one another so how much damage can ghosting to a ghost hurts?   

i don't know..but people fall in love online before even meeting and seeing each other in person all the time back then...lols

[Believe_N_Me]

Ghosting is when you and the other person establish that you want to move things forward. You feel excited and optimistic about things. Then suddenly, one of you just stop engaging with the other even though things are going well. Even if the ghoster initiates contact again, their energy feels distant. Not really worth trying to reconcile because there will always be trust issues.

A lot of the examples provided in here are not exactly ghosting. Some of them are more like the failure to launch. You and the other person are initially excited about each other or at least seem semi-interested - maybe because there really isn't anybody at the moment who really piques your interest so you're just going with the flow. Eventually, you feel indifferent about whether or not you hear from them again. 

[P90xbox]

Ghosting is when you and the other person establish that you want to move things forward. You feel excited and optimistic about things. Then suddenly, one of you just stop engaging with the other even though things are going well. Even if the ghoster initiates contact again, their energy feels distant. Not really worth trying to reconcile because there will always be trust issues.

A lot of the examples provided in here are not exactly ghosting. Some of them are more like the failure to launch. You and the other person are initially excited about each other or at least seem semi-interested - maybe because there really isn't anybody at the moment who really piques your interest so you're just going with the flow. Eventually, you feel indifferent about whether or not you hear from them again.

Ok, I can respect that. Maybe I took things too seriously back then. Haha

[DuMa]

i don't know..but people fall in love online before even meeting and seeing each other in person all the time back then...lols

If it hurts the same then sure 

[DuMa]

Ghosting is when you and the other person establish that you want to move things forward. You feel excited and optimistic about things. Then suddenly, one of you just stop engaging with the other even though things are going well. Even if the ghoster initiates contact again, their energy feels distant. Not really worth trying to reconcile because there will always be trust issues.

A lot of the examples provided in here are not exactly ghosting. Some of them are more like the failure to launch. You and the other person are initially excited about each other or at least seem semi-interested - maybe because there really isn't anybody at the moment who really piques your interest so you're just going with the flow. Eventually, you feel indifferent about whether or not you hear from them again.

Your definition makes me feel a lot lot better.  I think it is all about how you sell the package.  I was selling the package of romance, have sex and we shall be a couple by next week but my flight is boarding in a couple of hours.  Had I were a local boy, I would of end up with any one of them lucky hmong females from MN and Wis.  It just that I needed to go home and I can not do this long distance relationship ordeal as my cali females are a conflict of interest 

They all did not see it coming.  One gal, nancy was so excited that she showed off my pictures to her family members and the way I knew was them stranger females, her cousins, came up to me out there in public and asked me how I feel about nancy.  Well nancy did not tell me she had a child either.   I found out later when I was curious to how she is doing and through her facebook page.  I hate women who try to play one on me.  I mean be honest about it, why shy to lie you know?  Scare I might run off?  Trying to trap me?  I don't care about all that because the final result will all be the same, I still am going to ghost you when my tourist passport expires and I needed to go home.   

[Believe_N_Me]

Duma,

The advantage you have is that you are a self-proclaimed bad boy. Let me explain why bad guys finish first and can still lock down a good woman despite your shady relationship history.

Women view your relationship history as you test driving and playing around. It was the fault of those women for allowing themselves to get played by a self-proclaimed player.

Nice guys finish last because they come off as being in love with every single crazy women who they were in relationship with. BIG TURN OFF to a good woman. She doesn't want to think that her man was giving his all to these women who are less than she is. That is a big no-no.

And that is why nice guys will only get the crazy, toxic women. If he doesn't first sabotage a relationship with a good woman with his own lack of efforts, then she will be the one to walk away. Only the crazy ones will keep sticking around him.

See how that goes? Bad guys know how to lock down good women, just like bad girls also know how to lock down good men.

If good people want to end up together then it must happen the first time around while they are both young and single. Anything after that and they are both too jaded.

[JonniJacko]

Duma,

The advantage you have is that you are a self-proclaimed bad boy. Let me explain why bad guys finish first and can still lock down a good woman despite your shady relationship history.

Women view your relationship history as you test driving and playing around. It was the fault of those women for allowing themselves to get played by a self-proclaimed player.

Nice guys finish last because they come off as being in love with every single crazy women who they were in relationship with. BIG TURN OFF to a good woman. She doesn't want to think that her man was giving his all to these women who are less than she is. That is a big no-no.

And that is why nice guys will only get the crazy, toxic women. If he doesn't first sabotage a relationship with a good woman with his own lack of efforts, then she will be the one to walk away. Only the crazy ones will keep sticking around him.

See how that goes? Bad guys know how to lock down good women, just like bad girls also know how to lock down good men.

If good people want to end up together then it must happen the first time around while they are both young and single. Anything after that and they are both too jaded.

asshoes and hahainess are both very sexual stimulating traits. it's like a rush of high..and when having sex, its like orgasm on steroids.

[JonniJacko]

back to the subject, i suppose it's safe to say that different people have different meanings what ghosting is. Such as my good friend here.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ghx4mygM0EY