Dismissive/Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style

[Believe_N_Me]

How to recover from a breakup with an avoidant and why it's different from other breakups:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GmPQEVJ9dY&t=10s

What people don't understand is that a breakup with an avoidant doesn't happen after a period of distress. The breakup is abrupt and typically happens when things are going seemingly well. One thing to keep in mind is that the avoidant rarely comes back or will reach out. They also don't feel remorse or guilt. Moving on and finding healing is the best way to go about it.

Should an avoidant ex come back, it is highly recommended not to give it a second chance. They will only discard again and this time it will be quicker and more injurious.

[Believe_N_Me]

Learning about avoidant attachment made me realize just how toxic these people are. They have a way of entering your life and making an impact that you will never forget. Then when you're on that high, they crush you out of nowhere. One thing the therapists don't talk about is if you realize that your partner is an avoidant and you're looking to break up, should you just verbally dump them on the spot while pointing out why you're calling it quits?

Knowing how avoidants are deathly fearful of rejection, this would crush them. 

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipvI8gD9NkI

Yep. It will happen. Avoidants feel the grief months and years later. Truth. I suspected that a friend was going through this. This friend of mine is a severe avoidant.

[Believe_N_Me]

If this sounds like what happened to you, then you were most likely dealing with a dismissive avoidant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tH0YT3OKls

[Believe_N_Me]

Yep, this is what happens when things end with a severe avoidant. This is why you should question someone if they have a trail of crazy exes who experienced mental breakdowns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okGcmlj0Jog

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXlGQnotihA

After a breakup, don't be shocked if the avoidant partner jumps into a new relationship or even a marriage, despite moving away from you because the relationship was getting too close. That is the hallmark characteristic of an avoidant. They crave for love and intimacy, but fear it and will push it away as soon as they get it.

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkT4qyf2Fdc

If only all the exes would join forces.

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5GSLmgLroE

Avoidants cannot build a healthy relationship because they don't choose to stay with a healthy partner.

[Believe_N_Me]

Trying to have a secure relationship with an avoidant who sees everything as manipulation and control:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twkHph4ptWY

[Believe_N_Me]

Being with an avoidant partner incites a lot of magical thinking that compels the non-avoidant partner to seek out shamans, tarot readers, etc. for solace:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud_z-Br7o7A

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9cJ4SdeO9A

At some point, instead of asking if the avoidant ex ever loved you, you should accept that they have an incurable illness that would've been a burden to you. Do you really want to waste time with someone who has a mental disorder?

[Believe_N_Me]

What is an Avoidant Partner? A partner who is exhibiting severe avoidant attachment pattern behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjH1TpnmI70

1. May have had overly controlling parents
2. Came from extremely and controlling romantic relationships

[Believe_N_Me]

See post about friends with benefits situationship.



 

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvxaucjM2S4&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=15&t=202s

"When an Avoidant Needs Space"

It usually means that they're growing too emotionally attached to the healthy partner and needs to detach because it is triggering their fear of abandonment. Once there is enough distance and the avoidant feels safe again, it is unlikely that they will return to a healthy ex. The avoidant feels guilty and shame for discarding a healthy partner. The avoidant also believes that the healthy ex won't take them back.

[Believe_N_Me]

If they are a narcissist with avoidant attachment style, the stories they tell you about how they tried so hard to make things work with a so-called toxic ex is called triangulation. This is a manipulative tactic to get you self-doubting yourself so that you will be compelled try harder in hopes of getting that same effort from them. The narcissistic avoidant has you competing with an ex. This is all done to feed his ego.