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Author Topic: Ramblings  (Read 50765 times)

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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #255 on: February 15, 2013, 12:07:41 AM »
Had a great time with the loved ones. :)

I came across this article and it resonated so well......

"Watching the Couples Go By"
Why is this basic woman so valuable to this basic man whose arm she holds?
By Herbert Stein

In honor of Valentine’s, we reprint a favorite from the archive: this classic meditation on love and human companionship. Herbert Stein, who passed away in 1999, was an original Slate contributor.

One of my persistent fantasies used to be of sitting at a sidewalk table at a cafe in Paris. I would be writing with my pen (la plume de ma tante) in a notebook (un cahier) while smoking a Gauloise. I would not be writing economics. One cannot write economics while sitting at a sidewalk cafe. Maybe that is why there have been so few distinguished French economists. I would be writing a novel, or perhaps poetry, or even a philosophical treatise. But I would frequently raise my eyes to watch the girls (les filles) go by.

I no longer have that fantasy. I do, however, eat from time to time at an outdoor table in front of a small restaurant on the street leading to the Kennedy Center. I don't try to write there. I can't write with la plume de ma tante. I am addicted to the word processor. I suppose I could use a laptop computer. But that mechanism would destroy the romantic illusion. Instead, I watch the passers-by.

I am not concentrating on the girls. I am concentrating on the married couples. How do I know that those men and women walking two-by-two up to the Kennedy Center are married to each other? Well, 75 percent of all men between the ages of 30 and 75 are married, so if you see a man in that age group walking with a woman to the Kennedy Center--which is not exactly Club Med—it's a good bet that the two are married, and almost certainly to each other.

I look particularly at the women in those couples. They are not glamorous. There are no Marlene Dietrichs, Marilyn Monroes, or Vivien Leighs among them. (It is a sign of my age that I can't think of the name of a single living glamorous movie actress.) Some of them are pretty, but many would be considered plain. Since they are on their way to the Kennedy Center, presumably to attend a play, an opera, or a concert, one may assume that they are somewhat above average in cultural literacy. But in other respects one must assume that they are, like most people, average.

But to the man whose hand or arm she is holding, she is not "average." She is the whole world to him. They may argue occasionally, or even frequently. He may have an eye for the cute intern in his office. But that is superficial. Fundamentally, she is the most valuable thing in his life.

Genesis says, "And the Lord God said: 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.' " And so, "made He a woman." It doesn't say that He made a pretty woman, or a witty woman, or an any-kind-of-adjective woman. He made the basic woman.

Why is this basic woman so valuable to the man whose hand or arm she is holding as I see them making their way up to the Kennedy Center? I think there are three simple things.

First, she is a warm body in bed. I don't refer to their sexual activity. That is important but too varied for me to generalize about. I refer to something that is, if possible, even more primitive. It is human contact.

A baby crying in its crib doesn't want conversation or a gold ring. He wants to be picked up, held, and patted. Adults need that physical contact also. They need to cuddle together for warmth and comfort in an indifferent or cold world. At least, they need to be able to do that. The plain woman and plain man I am watching do that for each other.

But conversation is also important. These couples may have been talking to each other for 30 years or more. You might think they have nothing left to say. But still they can talk to each other in ways that they cannot talk to anyone else. He can tell her of something good he has done, or something good that has happened to him, without fearing that she will think he is bragging. He can tell her of something bad that has happened without fearing that she will think he is complaining. He can tell her of the most trivial thing without fearing that she will think he is bothering her. He can count on her interest and understanding.

The primary purpose of this conversation is not to convey any specific information. Its primary purpose is to say, "I am here and I know that you are here."

Third, the woman serves the man's need to be needed. If no one needs you, what good are you, and what are you here for? Other people--employers, students, readers--may say that they need you. But it isn't true. In all such relationships you are replaceable at some price. But to this woman you are not replaceable at any price. And that gives you the self-esteem to go out and meet the world every day.

So this "ordinary" woman—one like about 50 million others in America—has this great value to this man she is going to the theater with. He surely does not make a calculation—doesn't mark her to market. He probably never says how much he values her, to himself or to her. But he acts as if he knows it.

I see that I have written these views entirely from the point of view of the man. That is only natural for me. But I don't for a minute think that the relationship I have been trying to describe is one-sided. On the contrary, I am sure it is reciprocal.

I can hear you saying: "How do you know all this? You are only an economist, practitioner of the dismal science. You aren't Ann Landers." That is all true. But my wife and I walked up that hill to the Kennedy Center many times.

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/it_seems_to_me/1997/06/watching_the_couples_go_by.html?google_editors _picks=true



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #256 on: February 15, 2013, 06:46:00 PM »
:)


« Last Edit: February 16, 2013, 09:31:02 AM by TuesdaysGirl »

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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #257 on: February 17, 2013, 02:52:31 AM »
Blah! Dinner made me sick. Ick.



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #258 on: February 22, 2013, 03:14:26 PM »
"What's with the smile?"
I bit down on my smile. "What smile?"
"That smile, the secret one you were giving me."
"I wasn't smiling."
"Really?" He pulled me in for a quick kiss. "That smile."
I smiled.

Smile :) It's Friday. The weekend is upon us. I should finish A&A's story this weekend. Yay!



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #259 on: February 27, 2013, 10:37:48 AM »
Are you like me? Do you get ecstatic when you solve or work out a problem that's been on your mind? I get super happy!

If someone was to ask me what writing is, my reply would be simple: It is solving a creative problem. :)



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #260 on: March 15, 2013, 05:12:00 PM »
Timeless Relationship Quotes

On the importance of friendship:
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
         -Friedrick Nietzsche

On love making things easier:
"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
         -George Eliot

On enduring the rough patches:
"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."
         -Swedish Proverb

On the formula for a happy marriage:
"Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins."
         -Lao Tzu

On being self-aware:
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
         -Carl Jung

On love bringing out the best in you:
"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I’m with you."
         -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

On dealing with trust issues:
"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them."
         -Ernest Hemingway

On knowing who you are:
"We must be our own before we can be another's."
         -Ralph Waldo Emerson

On loving completely:
"I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything."  :-*
         -F. Scott Fritzgerald

On the inevitable challenges:
"The course of true love never did run smooth."
         -William Shakespeare

On being brave:
"Love is no assignment for cowards."
         -Ovid

On listening to the silences:
"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is not saying."
         -Unknown

Thanks to MSN. :)

How neat is it that most of the quotes are from some of history's literary greats? I love EBB and Fritzgerald's quotes best. Which one(s) are your favorites?



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #261 on: March 29, 2013, 03:39:17 PM »
My favorite holiday is upon us. I can't wait for this weekend. All the babies will be there. :)


« Last Edit: April 17, 2013, 06:51:23 PM by TuesdaysGirl »

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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #262 on: April 17, 2013, 06:55:11 PM »
Aww....it's a boy! I'm sooooo happy. A finally has a sibling; a brother: my first nephew.  :)



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #263 on: April 23, 2013, 02:10:38 PM »
"Sometimes, when my time is unoccupied, you remind me of Hoyt's Winter, and I smile, like an idiot, and my mind must make a conscious effort to snap me back to reality."

I wonder if it'll be different, being an Auntie the second time around. The sisters and I are too excited, we started planning the baby shower already. Auntie can't wait to meet you sweetie. :) I can't wait to spoil you with toy cars and things that aren't pink and purple. We love you already.



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #264 on: April 24, 2013, 12:50:20 PM »
Loooong day. I want to leave already. :(



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #265 on: April 30, 2013, 10:03:36 AM »
It's Tuesday! :) A wants to name her baby brother Clifford, like the big red dog. LOL. She's too cute.

It feels like summer already. The string of gatherings and parties are approaching. Part of me is excited. Another part of me is hesitant. This year is flying by. After this summer, I'll be a year away from my 30s. It's funny, at this moment, I'm reminded of Bio Camp. Snow, cold, and being away from home. That trip marked the start of my high school years. I wonder......wh at will mark the start of my 30s?


« Last Edit: May 01, 2013, 08:56:17 AM by TuesdaysGirl »

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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #266 on: April 30, 2013, 04:37:38 PM »
I'm hungry. Oh so hungry. I skipped lunch so now I'm starving.
What I want to eat (since I want food):
Taro sesame balls
Papaya salad
Spring rolls
Purple rice
Robertito's carne asada fries
A mango margarita
A chicken burrito from that place I pass every day to work (gosh, for the life of me, I can't remember what it's called)
Hmmm....what else....
Right,
Tutti Melon (even though it's gone)
Finally.....mo chi mochi, in all colors of the rainbow.



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biggieT

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #267 on: May 15, 2013, 01:23:03 AM »
It's Tuesday! :) A wants to name her baby brother Clifford, like the big red dog. LOL. She's too cute.

It feels like summer already. The string of gatherings and parties are approaching. Part of me is excited. Another part of me is hesitant. This year is flying by. After this summer, I'll be a year away from my 30s. It's funny, at this moment, I'm reminded of Bio Camp. Snow, cold, and being away from home. That trip marked the start of my high school years. I wonder......wh at will mark the start of my 30s?

I remember that year at BioCamp. It was Biocamp2 in the spring and the snow was up to our waist it seemed like. I remember thinking "Only white people would do something like that!" when Ben did the polar bear plunge. I remember: "Teddy bears, teddy bears.... Ooo la la ohhhh teddy bears."

I brought some Herbal Essence shampoo and the guys made fun of me for it. And then they tried it and couldn't get enough of it!! Jabari and Joaquin. That was when Doggy and I became like brothers -- all because of a girl. Lol.

Those were good times with great people :)



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #268 on: June 30, 2013, 10:21:00 AM »
My first laid back Sunday in a long while....I like it. A small reprieve before the busyness of July. A funeral, a baby shower, a promotion, mindless training. I'm teetering on the edge, waiting, with hopeful glee, for everything to fall into place. I hope it does. Before August, before my birthday. I would like that. It shall be extra special that way.

Mom and dad are so generous. They have such big, loving hearts. It makes me smile, every time, how in their eyes, the siblings and I will always be their babies. No matter how old we all get. Dad asked about the promotion the other day. I'd thought he'd forgotten. He's been so busy. But he didn't. It felt great to give him the wonderful outcome Friday.

For the most part, everything for the baby shower is in place. The invites were so adorable. My sister loved them.

Ah, summer. It shall be in the 100s today too. Time to find something to do out of the sun (shopping :)).



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TuesdaysGirl

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Re: Ramblings
« Reply #269 on: July 23, 2013, 09:52:36 PM »
Life is all about moments. I live for moments. The sad, the painful, the heartfelt, the happy...moments.

Every so often, a person takes a step back and reflects. I'm reflecting at the moment.
Am I where I want to be? Not quite.
Am I who I want to be? Not quite.
Has things gone as planned? Not quite.

Not quite...not quite...not quite.

This was written three years ago, age: 25.

Today, 13 days before I turn 29:

Am I where I want to be? Yes.
Am I who I want to be? Yes.
Has things gone as planned? Yes.

Funny, how time changes our perception of life. As the saying goes, things and life will eventually work itself out. I've been so busy with everything. Tonight was a good night to reflect. At this moment, in this fleeting span of time, I am happy. With who I am. With where I am. With the way things have turned out. I'm sitting, staring at the hills beyond my bedroom window,  night lingers on the horizon, and I am happy. All this may change tomorrow. But right now, at this very moment, where the past is present, I am happy.

Book? Done.
A worthwhile place to work at? Done.

The future is fickle. What is may not be. I hope to accomplish the new goals I've set. I hope to become a better person. I hope that happiness outweighs heartaches in the moments that await me.



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