PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: Allday-24 on November 03, 2017, 06:11:59 PM
-
Hello, I am in a relationship with a gal that I am really interested in settling down with. However, she is a strong believer of Christ and I am very traditional. Please share your experiences with me. I'd like to know how you two made it through with the differences.
-
When I dated my Filipina girl. She was a devoted Catholic and a strong believer in Christ. I wasn't but I respected her preference and she respected my ways so respect for each other's belief/preference can go a long way.
When I say respect I mean you don't have to practice it or believe in it but show some respect when others are practicing it.
I broke up with her not because of her religious belief but because she became more and more insecure and controlling the more serious our relationship got. And that's a no no for me...
Good luck!
-
When I dated my Filipina girl. She was a devoted Catholic and a strong believer in Christ. I wasn't but I respected her preference and she respected my ways so respect for each other's belief/preference can go a long way.
When I say respect I mean you don't have to practice it or believe in it but show some respect when others are practicing it.
I broke up with her not because of her religious belief but because she became more and more insecure and controlling the more serious our relationship got. And that's a no no for me...
Good luck!
Thanks!!
-
it's not as hard as one thinks...it's easier to convert angels into little devils, than vice versa.
-
Nothing in life is harder than dealing with brainwashed people. Allah vs. Jesus vs. gazillionous :idiot2:
-
You should really dive deep into understanding why you believe in your religion/beliefs that you do. It is only when you truly or want to understand it from a different perspective and dimensions will you know how far you can go to be there with another person (family members, spouse, children, bf/gf, etc.)
Someone can be very deep into their beliefs because through their experiences, they have crossed boundaries, barriers, obstacles, and have witness miracles. Whatever their experiences may be, try to understand it even if you don't practice it. Try to learn about it, even if you disagree with it.
Everyone is their own individual and they decipher different meanings from the same things. Life is a mystery and to some people, it is worth living to discover the mystery of life.
-
Hello, I am in a relationship with a gal that I am really interested in settling down with. However, she is a strong believer of Christ and I am very traditional. Please share your experiences with me. I'd like to know how you two made it through with the differences.
there's plenty more fishes in the sea, why you bothering with this one? :idiot2:
-
You should really dive deep into understanding why you believe in your religion/beliefs that you do. It is only when you truly or want to understand it from a different perspective and dimensions will you know how far you can go to be there with another person (family members, spouse, children, bf/gf, etc.)
Someone can be very deep into their beliefs because through their experiences, they have crossed boundaries, barriers, obstacles, and have witness miracles. Whatever their experiences may be, try to understand it even if you don't practice it. Try to learn about it, even if you disagree with it.
Everyone is their own individual and they decipher different meanings from the same things. Life is a mystery and to some people, it is worth living to discover the mystery of life.
Hey thanks! This is some good stuff. Keep an coming!
-
Hey thanks! This is some good stuff. Keep an coming!
if you think that's good advice you are lost :idiot2:
-
if you think that's good advice you are lost :idiot2:
Why?
-
If this was Laos or your girl is very traditional when it comes to Hmong gender roles, then I'd say go for it. But seeing that this is America and sooner or later people put their own happiness first, I'm going to highly suggest that you end the relationship. Sooner or later what you think you have won't be enough because you two aren't growing together spiritually. Then all you have left is hopefully maintaining civility towards each other. And hey, some marriages can last on that alone. If you can be satisfied with practical love then I guess you can go for it.
-
The topic has come up once again!
-
The topic has come up once again!
The answer is still pretty much the same: as long as the two people involved in the relationship are OK with it, doesn't matter much of what others think...
-
I sense trouble in the horizon.
look man, if you do end up getting marry, are you comfortable with her getting involve with the church/church functions? Ask yourself, if not, then I suggest look somewhere else for a wife/partner/s.o. As there're plenty. And if you are okay with it, then by all means, go ahead.
-
No problem and here is why. As with everything, value changes. Take the laws that governed this country. The supreme Court job is to withheld them laws to what it is supposed to mean and not what the people of today wanted it to be but as values changes, so are them laws.
So it is best to either you convert or to each you guys should keep and try not to offend the other practices.
The xtian side be like... Well when we all die, mama can not find daddy to reunite in the afterlife. This is one of the concern. A second one is what about your children? Which side will they take? In this case, tell her side that the children will be xtian and you will take them to church. Since you are not of the religion, you can go chill outside or come back after service is over for the pick up.
By doing thus, her side of the family will bless you with the marriage.
Key points here is to have Christian values without being a Christian. I know it sounds stupid and I agree. I heard that atheist be saying that they have Christian values too and with that, I laughed my azz off. Imagine that, Jesus' secretary is an atheist. :D
-
Anyone here marry someone of a different religion? Any personal experiences? Do chime in.
-
If you love her and she wants you to convert then she is already sinning. What is up with people who loves to claim god believers, but yet dont understand one bit.
If you are going to be that fken devoted, then might as well be a virgin and fly off to some poor country and be of service to them because if you aint one of those then you aint one of these.
Cant be both, so tell her to read this post and wake up from her delusions.
Just tell her, god is the GOAT and he will not mind her catering to fit your needs and make good ament to both of you.
-
Hello, I am in a relationship with a gal that I am really interested in settling down with. However, she is a strong believer of Christ and I am very traditional. Please share your experiences with me. I'd like to know how you two made it through with the differences.
Your situation will be tough. In the Hmong culture, she is expected to adopt your religious belief/practices to be considered your family in life and in death. This is why there's NO middle ground, no such thing as respecting each other's religious differences in Hmong marriages, and if you try to do that, Hmong people will be looking puzzled like it's something never done before - like you're an alien, sooo un-hmong like, maybe a weakling, out of your mind, etc.. Also, she may be treated like an "outcast" from time to time if she doesn't. Also, since you're traditional I'm assuming your family will be too and all of you will expect her to adopt your faith/religious practices. Bottom line, it's best to say good bye now to avoid lots of headaches for everyone later...
Unless you're willing to stand up, be your own man and truly allow her to keep her faith regardless of what anyone says - to truly respect each other's religious differences, not let that get in the way of your marriage/and or love... But still, it will clash no matter what. Certain milestones of your life, you'd be doing religious rituals/practices - will you pray or ua neeg? or do nothing? What if she wants to pray and you want to ua neeg? What about the children later on, how do you plan to introduce religion to them? Your way or her way? What about in your house, will you have a xwm kab or bible? OR bible in one corner and xwm kab in another?
People say this is America and there's religious freedom in this country. But not so in the hmong yet.
-
Your situation will be tough. In the Hmong culture, she is expected to adopt your religious belief/practices to be considered your family in life and in death. This is why there's NO middle ground, no such thing as respecting each other's religious differences in Hmong marriages, and if you try to do that, Hmong people will be looking puzzled like it's something never done before - like you're an alien, sooo un-hmong like, maybe a weakling, out of your mind, etc.. Also, she may be treated like an "outcast" from time to time if she doesn't. Also, since you're traditional I'm assuming your family will be too and all of you will expect her to adopt your faith/religious practices. Bottom line, it's best to say good bye now to avoid lots of headaches for everyone later...
Unless you're willing to stand up, be your own man and truly allow her to keep her faith regardless of what anyone says - to truly respect each other's religious differences, not let that get in the way of your marriage/and or love... But still, it will clash no matter what. Certain milestones of your life, you'd be doing religious rituals/practices - will you pray or ua neeg? or do nothing? What if she wants to pray and you want to ua neeg? What about the children later on, how do you plan to introduce religion to them? Your way or her way? What about in your house, will you have a xwm kab or bible? OR bible in one corner and xwm kab in another?
People say this is America and there's religious freedom in this country. But not so in the hmong yet.
Ahh maybe I could set it off first! A start to something new.
-
Ahh maybe I could set it off first! A start to something new.
It will fail, brother. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But it eventually will.
You are already cognizant of the difficulty her religious beliefs pose for the future. If you are deaf, dumb, and blind, which i dont think you are, and you can somehow memory wipe yourself from the knowledge you have, then maybe it may work (meaning you sellout and become a yesxus member, yet even then you still have family members who are culturally Hmong, so there are other dynamics as well which will tug at you and leave you conflicted). But as is, her beliefs will gnaw at you until eventually.
Sorry, but move on. Unless you can shed some sense into her and turn her back to being a Hmong then that’s the other option. But knowing how stubborn and blind once these people “have found jesus” thats a long long shot. You're better off finding a girl who really fits you, one who embraces you, your family, and your way of life.
-
When I was single and dating I got along fine with non-Christian guys. However, a relationship with another Christian was so much more satisfying since we were on the same page about almost everything. This is the same when it comes to dating within your own race.
It's easy to get along with others and even share the same interests. But when you and the other person are truly on the same wavelength because you have shared experiences, background, upbringing, values, identity, worldview and so forth, the relationship is just so much more deeper and satisfying.
Personally, I do not wish to be unequally yoked with someone.