PebHmong Discussion Forum

Relationship => Marriage & Family Life => Topic started by: YAX on January 26, 2018, 12:37:44 PM

Title: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: YAX on January 26, 2018, 12:37:44 PM
When you first fall for each other, both have that lovey dovey, I can't live without you feeling of warmth and happiness, but years after you're married, it gets out of synch.  You'd have that feeling and he/she doesn't.  Then he/she would have it and you'd be totally not in the mood so you're unresponsive to their attentiveness.  You just wanna be left alone.

Gone through that yet?
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: DuMa on January 26, 2018, 12:49:44 PM
Plug her in the azz to wake her up. 
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: theking on January 26, 2018, 12:51:42 PM
When you first fall for each other, both have that lovey dovey, I can't live without you feeling of warmth and happiness, but years after you're married, it gets out of synch.  You'd have that feeling and he/she doesn't.  Then he/she would have it and you'd be totally not in the mood so you're unresponsive to their attentiveness.  You just wanna be left alone.

Gone through that yet?

Nope, been together for over a decade now and our love just keep on progressing through the years...We love each other more now than when we first met..
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: Dok_Champa on January 26, 2018, 01:49:49 PM
Well, in the early years/when you first fall for each other - it's more "lust" than "love" and over the year if you don't work on your relationship, the love is there but the lust diminished or both diminished slowly and over time, dries up.  That's why it's important for couples to nurture their love, relationship, to keep that sparks alive.  The majority of Hmong men don't see this but those that do - over the years, whatever they had at the beginning will just grows and gets deeper. 

Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: YAX on February 01, 2018, 12:45:02 PM
Well, in the early years/when you first fall for each other - it's more "lust" than "love" and over the year if you don't work on your relationship, the love is there but the lust diminished or both diminished slowly and over time, dries up.  That's why it's important for couples to nurture their love, relationship, to keep that sparks alive.  The majority of Hmong men don't see this but those that do - over the years, whatever they had at the beginning will just grows and gets deeper.
Sometimes one party just isn't interested in working on it anymore.  When the other one tries, it's viewed as an annoyance.
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: Dok_Champa on February 06, 2018, 01:35:11 PM
Sometimes one party just isn't interested in working on it anymore.  When the other one tries, it's viewed as an annoyance.
This is because hmong marriage don't focus too much on the relationship between spouses early in the marriage.  They think they're together and that's end of story.  Not true.  A marriage is the beginning, not the end, of the relationship between two people in love.  If they don'twork on it, it's going to fizzle and died...and wonder what went wrong.
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: YAX on February 06, 2018, 03:32:41 PM
This is because hmong marriage don't focus too much on the relationship between spouses early in the marriage.  They think they're together and that's end of story.  Not true.  A marriage is the beginning, not the end, of the relationship between two people in love.  If they work on it, it's going to fizzle and died...and wonder what went wrong.
They involves 2 people.  If one does not choose to "work on it", it's over.  Not much the other one can do about it but suffer.
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: Dok_Champa on February 07, 2018, 10:48:27 AM
They involves 2 people.  If one does not choose to "work on it", it's over.  Not much the other one can do about it but suffer.
If I were to put the blame, husband or wife, I'd blame the husband/men more.  Here's why:  Men's needs are more physical while women's are more emotional.  Since the men got their needs met, they forgot about the women - thus the out of synch happened. 
Title: Re: When that lovey dovey mood gets out of synch..
Post by: YAX on February 08, 2018, 01:07:39 PM
If I were to put the blame, husband or wife, I'd blame the husband/men more.  Here's why:  Men's needs are more physical while women's are more emotional.  Since the men got their needs met, they forgot about the women - thus the out of synch happened.
;D ;D physical is easy to provide.  ;D  Sometimes when a woman gets her emotional needs met too often, it loses its appeal.  Becomes a common and expected task, instead of an appreciated one.  Can you still blame the man for that?