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Messages - MissKhou85

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It goes both ways. It can be a good/bad if you think about it.

1. Good view point- he’s trying to tell you he’s not a controlling man and he lets you do what you please because he’s settle and is content with you. When I dated my ex, I was still talking to guys and he said it’s okay for me to talk to them UNTIL I ABUSED it.

2. Bad view point- he’s not serious with you and wants you to know he’s innocent and loyal. If you were to continue and talk to guys or go out clubbing whatsoever, you’ll be the bad one.

We can assumed and give you our opinions because we don’t live and walked in your shoe and relationship. Sometimes, you have to be upfront and speak to him. Tell him exactly how you feel and be honest about it.

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Looking for my soulmate
« on: March 25, 2020, 01:42:50 AM »
Finding a soul mate is not easy because it takes both to compromise. The first step  is to get out there and start talking to someone. I know it’s hard especially since we’re older and been through more that we tend to look for red flags in people and make assumptions as to what if they’re like this and that. Well, finding your soulmate in PH is impossible because everyone is so secretive. I say why don’t you start with Facebook dating group.

I’m no expert in the dating field but I do know something. Girl, it all comes down to confidence. Guys don’t care if you’re old, young, fat or skinny. There will be someone out there for you who’ll like you as a whole. Communication is key because I experimented myself on Facebook dating groups. 😂 With that being said, go ahead and put yourself out there. Guys, young and old are attractive to confident woman who loves themselves. Be happy/positive and your happiness will shine through.

I used to have low self confidence thinking nobody will want me because I’m fat. Well, in PH, most of the guys on here are small minded and picky. The person who really see through sizes and didn’t judge was theking. The reasons a lot of women catfish on here is because of the high expectations. Well, girl, even I was embarrassed of myself because I wasn’t a size 2-3 like many other women on here. That all changed when theking and I commented on his post. He made me realized I’m beautiful the size I am. My advice is, you must feel comfortable in your own skin before you start dating or else you’ll put yourself down and back out when it comes to meeting the guy in person.

There are plenty of guys, young and old that are  single and ready to mingle. All it takes is a hello from you. Not to brag but even after leaving my ex’s of 12 years, I still have guys on my Facebook waiting for me.  ;D Be confident and open yourself up. Leave your past behind and move on brbaude you deserved to be love and cherished like a queen. Yes, you got that right.

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General Discussion / Re: What did you learn with each age milestone
« on: June 18, 2019, 01:20:44 PM »
4- I was introduced to music and singing became my newest obsession. I loveeeee to sing as a little girl and I remembered singing at home/school and also with my little group of friends at the neighborhood park.

1st-5th grade- Even though I attended the same school as my cousins and friends, I didn't get the same teacher or room like them. I was always with the mekas kids because I scored higher on my reading. It really sucks though.  :( Each year, my cousins started moving away because of job opportunities for their siblings and I was the only one left by the time I was in 5th grade. I remembered my parents moved and I had to relocate to a different school and leaving my friends behind was so sad. Half way through 5th grade I was placed in a different class without Asian kids and it was very sad.

6 grade- My first and last art class that I took. I did an art project made from scrape and it was unique so it got placed in the library. I made a figure of a man in a hula hoop his and his head was made out of a empty thread holder. I had no interest in art because I feel I wasn't artistic enough so this was my last art class that I ever took until this age.

7th grade- I took a music class and I didn't enjoyed it as much as I thought I would.

8th grade- Converted from Shamanism to Christianity and I was very shy to sing or attend church because the Leaders were not well organized. I didn't know how to read Hmong in the first place so there's no way I was able to sing in Hmong and follow along.

9-12th grade- I was introduced to cooking. I started learning how to cook american food and I especially enjoyed baking. I learned my measurements and whatsoever. I also started learning how to read in Hmong. I didn't like boys but I had a crush on a neighbor. When I see him outside with our other neighbors, I would be so shy to see him or even go outside.  ;D I learned how to wear makeup and dye my own hair. I started talking to older guys when I was in junior year and those I met from online chatting. I was talking to older guys and they taught me to be wise and to act mature. I guess I should give them thanks.  ;D My senior year, I stopped talking to older guys and started talking to guys around my age. I noticed, my attitude changed and I wasn't that nice young lady a year before. I didn't go to prom because my sister didn't so no prom or high school grad night either.  :( I was talking to my first ex a few months before graduation.

19- I was living life and doing lots of things. I broke up with my first ex because I didn't want to get married. I got my license a year before and was driving my parents pick up truck. More like sneaking when they're not using it.  ;D

20- Got diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and they removed my thyroid by radiation. Started gaining weight afterward...  :( :( :(

21-33 Dated my Mexican boyfriend. Did a lot of things... Lose weight, gain weight and whatever's on my mind. Left my Mexican boyfriend after 12 years of being together in June 27 2018. A few days later in June 30th 2018, dated a Mien guy. In October, got diagnosed with depression. Was heartbroken and whatsoever...

34 years old-Still learning to take it one day at a time and a new chapter is about to begin. My future goal is to get well, healthy, lose weight and relocate to Sacramento.

I learned that you must learn to love yourself no matter how old you are. If you don't, you'll get hurt in the long run. You need to find some activities that you enjoyed doing to help relieve stress and make life more enjoyable. Still learning in the process.

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Online Journal / The brighter days ahead
« on: June 17, 2019, 07:15:24 PM »
Summer in California has been a lot cooler compared to the previous past years. Since it's mid June, the temperature has cool down a bit compared to the past week when we were hitting the triple digits. Seriously, it was crazy hot especially if you drive in an all black car. I feel as though my AC wasn't blowing any cool air. Like seriously even though I blasted the thing.  ;D Last week, it was indeed very hot. Imagine being outdoor at a funeral and in this hot Cali weather? You get what I'm saying? I got burnt but for a good purpose and more vitamin D's for my body.  :)  I'm glad, the temperature dropped down during the weekends along with some nice cool breeze blowing into the valley. Since it's summer, I can't complain because it will get hotter as the days goes by.

 This morning as I was woke up (still waiting for my alarm to sound), the sun was shinning brightly through my window even though it was 5:30 am. Thank god I do not live near any Asians who raised roosters or else, that damn sucker will be crowing in the morning before my alarm goes off.  ;D I remembered driving home around 5 am a few months ago before the time changes and it was still very dark outside. It's crazy how the season changes and the 5 am a few months ago was still dark and the 5 am this morning was very sunny.

It has been a long time since I wrote anything on here. To be honest, I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I stopped doing a lot of things that I used to do and now all I do is, go to work and come home. My life is just that boring.  ;D  Well, a person just can't stop doing the things they enjoyed for a reason right? Most defiantly. I mean, there must be something that triggered or is wrong with the person for them to stopped doing the things they used to do. Well, today I would like to share my story with you. Its because I fell into depression. Depression is real.  I, in my million lifetime never would have imagined that it will hit me this hard. Like seriously, I'd always been a joyful and cheerful person, someone who doesn't hold grudges and just full of life. A woman who is strong minded and knows what she wants/can make herself happy.  However, I believe a person can only take so much on her plate and in the end, I broke down. I was so broken, I felt as though my two wings had been cut off and I couldn't fly or run no matter how hard I tried. I went downhill.

Today, I am slowly getting back on my two feet and since I'm getting treatment, hopefully, I'll become the MK I once was in here. Finger crossed.  :) When I was prescribed antidepressant s, it helped me right away. Crazy as it sound, these med really helps. I feel as though, I had the energy to do more things and on top of that, I feel sharper and my mind is clear. When I hear stories from people, many said that the medications doesn't work for them and so forth. However,  I'm the exact  opposite and I do not know what to make out of it. My family doesn't believe in depression. What many think of it, most think that that person or I was just plain lazy. Well since I'm running out of time, I am going to end it here tonight. I asked to up my dosage and right now I am currently taking Wellbutrin. Well, until next time. Bye!

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General Discussion / Betting sports online
« on: March 21, 2019, 10:49:23 PM »
Admins or MOD’s please do not move this topic to the sports sections because I know nothing about sports. I just want to ask a question for a friend.

Do you bet for sports online? What is the minimum or the max you usually bet for? I’m just curious because this person is betting like crazy and constantly checking the scores and on its phone. At first the bet was 50-100 but now it’s 1,000 up. This is today’s activity. Is this common or normal? Thanks!







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Beauty & Fashion / Re: Need SHAMPOO that helps with thinning hair
« on: March 20, 2019, 12:26:23 PM »
I've trouble with thinning hair as well because I've fine hair. If your hair is falling out, it's hormonal. A few years ago I was taking a food suppressant pill. OMG, after I stopped, my hair was falling out like crazy. I got so scared and saw my doctor. I was put on birth control and after a few weeks, my hair stopped falling. So scary...

My hair dresser recommend taking biotin. I recommend taking the vitamins and getting a biotin shampoo. Just make sure your shampoo doesn't have alcohol in it because my sister was using this Hmong shampoo for hair loss and it has alcohol as the first ingredients. Just be careful and do your research.

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Beauty & Fashion / Re: Hmong skin care products
« on: March 20, 2019, 12:19:34 PM »
I haven't try any Hmong products because they are soooooooo expensive. I tried this asian pink white/milk cream from the Hmong store or Hmong lady and I highly recommend. It really does help with blemishes and make your face smoother/lighter.

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General Relationship / My New Man....
« on: March 14, 2019, 05:58:32 PM »
Hello everyone. It has been a long time since I’ve been on here. My 34th birthday just recently passed a few days ago. I would like to update and share my story of moving on in life. Last year in April 2018, I started talking to a guy I met on FB. I didn’t like him at first because he was a boring person on the phone. We talked here and there and I told him that I am currently in a relationship with my man of almost 12 years and we can only be friends. One day I decided to call him up at work and we continued to talk daily. My goal was to talk to him as a friend to help killed times. However, everything changes when we continued to talk every day and he asked me to meet up with him.  I was skeptical at first because I knew its wrong of me to meet him and impossible because my boyfriend (ex) comes up with me to visited my family as well. I told no many times but he pushes my button to the point where he dared me to meet him. Finally, we met at night time on May 30, 2018 in Sacramento. We met at a store parking lot and then decided to go to a park that I enjoyed walking when I visited Sacramento. We went to the park, walked and talked for an hour. I was sick so I didn’t want to stay too long. When I met him, Wow, he is so skinny. He’s like half of my size.

After meeting him last night, the following day he asked me to meet him again and grabbed some Jamba Juice. We met up and grabbed some drinks and talked for an hour or so inside the place and parking lot. Afterward, I went back home. For the month of June, we continued to talk and he was pressuring me to leave my boyfriend (ex) because he said what if my man finds out and beat me up? He was worried. We continued to meet up every weekend for 4-5 times from Friday to Sunday in June. The more I talked/see him, the more feelings I started having for him. On June 27th, 2018 I left my boyfriend (ex) and went to my parent’s because I admitted to my boyfriend (ex) that I am cheating on him with another guy. I felt so bad because I hurt my man so much to the point where he told me to leave. He was so angry with me, he walked out of the house. I left him that day after work.

When I got to Sacramento, it was late and I went straight to the guy that I was talking to. He comforted me and I felt better. I explained everything to him and he said he’s happy to hear that I left him because I walked out of my unhealthy relationship. The guy that I was talking to told me he’ll wait for me until December. If by December I do not leave my ex, he said he’ll let me go because that means I still love him. I left my boyfriend (ex) earlier than expected. We continued to hang out for a few days and that night on June 30, 2018, he got down on his knees and asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him I can’t because it’s too soon and I just recently got out of a relationship with my ex and we haven’t officially ended yet. He looked sad and later that night when he asked me again for the second time, I said “YES”.  I feel it was too fast and too soon for me but I told him myself, we’ll date later down the road as well so might as go take the chance and go for it. And I did.

My family and friends said to me that I moved on too fast and the guy I’m with is just a rebound guy. Many people purposely said it in front of his face that he’s just a rebound guy and after 1-2 months I’ll leave him and go back to my ex. Everyone doubted our relationship but my man, proved them all wrong. It was hard for me because I was still confused and hurt but he held on to me tight and made our relationship work. I’m very thankful that he’s serious with me because if not, he would have left me already. He took the chances and now that he got the chance to be with me, he made it work. No relationship is perfect but I’m happier now then I was back then with my ex. It’s so nice to have a man who is the opposite from your ex. This guy cooks for me all the time, help me do my laundry, help set up table and cook for my family, clean, drive to places out of town and many more. After a few months in, my family grew to love him. By the end of March, we’ll be dating for 9 months. Its crazy how fast time fly by.

This past weekend, he threw me a big birthday party and spent so much on me. I planned so much stuff and he did it all for me. On Sunday we went to Reno with one of my sister and her family. He upgraded our free room and it was really beautiful and spacious. We had a great time at Reno and I ended up babysitting instead but it was fun hanging out with niece’s and nephew. I rather spend my money on the kids then waste it on the slots and get nothing in return. We are long distant boyfriend/girlfriends and see each other from Friday nights until early Monday morning when I leave back to my hometown.

Before you judge me and assumed things, my ex cheated on me from January 2018 until the day I left him. I never knew he cheated on me until August when I checked his phone calls because I was still paying for his cellphone. My ex and I hardly talked or text and that month he has over 3,000 text messages. I was shocked! I cancelled his phone and asked him to return the Samsung 8+ because I still got payments on the phone and he doesn’t deserves it.  It hurt as well because when I left my ex, he didn’t fight for me to come back home whereas for his older brother, he was doing everything to can to have his baby mama back. Before I left my ex, he said the worst things to me so I will not be able to leave him. I left him too because my new man complimented me and gives me the confidence to love myself again. My ex admitted to my brother that he cheated on me. I’ll admit, I fell into depression and let go of myself. I let go of my looks because I was not happy in life. With my new man, I’m starting to love myself again and I’m so much happier after I got the help I needed. I took antidepressant s for a month and am with someone who loves me for me. My man is a skinny guy and he’s HALF of my size. He accepts me being natural beauty and doesn’t judge me even though when I wear no makeup. We’re only a year apart.

After all, time does heals all pain. It took me a while to be myself again and many might wonder how is it possible to leave a man you’re with for 12 years and date one right away? Everyone has their own stories and answers so anything is possible. If you’re not happy in your relationship, let it go because you’ll find someone that will love you and accept you for who you are if you give them the chance. You must be strong and move forward. If not, you’ll go back to where you’re at in the first place. Love is hard but don’t make it harder on you. Until next time, Bye! 

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Talking to guys at the age of 30+
« on: June 04, 2018, 10:54:13 PM »
Updated as of 6/04/18

For the past 2 weeks, I started seeing someone I met from Hmong single. Like how I mentioned that I’ve no self confidence, well he made me feel confident and comfortable in my own body. He says to me that I do not need to change myself or look like a certain someone to meet anyone. If they can’t accept you, don’t even bother knowing them. I thought about it and the previous week I messaged him saying “Let’s meet up because I will never lose weight”.  ;D So we met for over an hour that night because my man went fishing over night with the guy on Sunday. We went to the park and walk and talk. This guy here is like skinny skinny. I am twice his size or bigger.  ;D On Tuesday after memorial, we met up around noon time and grabbed Jamba Juice. We met for an hour and just chit chat. I had to sneak out to meet him. We continued to talk and see each other.  I decided to give him 100% of my time and I guess I told him my pity story of my relationship. This past weekend we hung out and did a lot of things. We had our first lunch and dinner date, cruising through town and etc. He says to me he like me a lot and want more then friends. He said I make him happy. I’m confused at the moment because I don’t want any relationship. My partner trust me now and I can’t do anything suspicious because he’ll find out and can murder me.

Is it normal to have feelings for someone who’s filling all the empty voids in your life? I mean he’s showering me with love, doing everything for me and treating me like a woman. I mean who doesn’t want that? I always wanted to have a man who’ll go eat pho, papaya salad and seafood with me and he’s doing that with me. All the places that I go alone, were doing and going together. I’m just scared to take the next step. Honestly, I miss him and think I’m having feelings for him. My partner said the meaniest things to hurt my self esteem so I won’t cheat on him. With the new guy, everything he said to me it’s lije on point. He pushed my button, we butt head and disagree with one another because he made me see reality. He said I’m babysitting my man, he said stuff to me and it’s like I’m stuck in an eggshell and so forth. The more I talk to him, the more similarities we shared and vavlue in life which makes me start liking him more. My younger guy friends who I talk to, I only want to hear sugar coated words but with him he’s the opposite. He was the last person in messenger that I wanted to know. I ignored him 2 months ago because the truth hurts me.

I’m complicating my life because I want to see what options are out there for me. This is an update of what I’m doing so far. I’m seeing/talking to someone and we’re both on the same page.

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Okay! Thanks PL. I'll have to tell my bil and see if these could be the problem. At least I'm one step closer to finding the answer.  :)

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Talking to guys at the age of 30+
« on: April 10, 2018, 04:59:09 PM »
I started a group too for singles in cali when I was in cali, but all that joined were guys!

Cheezez!

And so I joined/was invited to this one group for cali folks..

I tried to make them all meet up or do things.. but they didn't want too!

But now they are!  Sheesh!

I just wanted to create a group where single guys and gals can meet up and do things... not nessacirly date each other...

But girls are so weird they always think a guy just wanna hang out with them because they wanna get in their pants...

I personally just like hanging out with girls.


I like that idea too! It'll be nice to just hangout after a long week of work or school.

Well it's hard if there's not a lot of people. I noticed that girls are more shy when it comes to dating because most men are judgemental. Most guys prefer girls that are sexy and skinny and many aren't. The Hmong single page was not active until I started posting ice breaker questions. Some people joined the page for sex and whatever. Some women on there said that they are there for the D.  ;D Theposter, add me as a friend on FB. We don't have to talk to each other. I got a few PHer's as friends too..

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Talking to guys at the age of 30+
« on: April 10, 2018, 04:36:07 PM »
when you talk to guys who are 30+, you'll find them to be more gentleman like, more experienced (you can count that into sex too), overall much more stable and matured.  they will respect your privacy, built a relationship without strings attached, and more importantly, may even serve you as a sugar daddy. 

anyone younger, you're likely to find play boys, if not gay boys.  younger guys will play pretend to understand until they smack dat'ass.  unless you are girlfriend material, one who's hot looking and working...they'll ghost yo'ass!  i know what i'm talking about because, i was young once!  ;) ;D

what's worst than cheating on your bf?  cheating on yourself! if you're talking to guys and not phucking them, you're wasting your time.

I haven't talk to any guys older then me for the past month. Most are between 21-30 years old. I guess the reason why I'm not talking to older guys is because I'm not looking for a serious relationship. If I was, I would prefer a guy who's older then me for sure. For the mean time, I like younger guys because they're cool and more down to earth to talk to. Most guys over my age are mostly divorced with kids. FYI, I can't hang or stayed up all night like how I used to. I've been staying up late for the past weekends when I'm over at my moms and OMG, it really kills me. I'm used to waking up early too so not good at all. Dating, I'll talk to an older guy once I'm serious.

I disagree/agree with you about younger guys. The one I talk to are forever single okay?  ;D I prefer a guy who doesn't go out and so forth. I like younger guys because I can BRAINWASH them.  ;D Well, I'm not hot so paab tsis tau.  ;D I don't talk about sex because I know what goes through their mind. Besides, I'm not the type that does phone sex and talk about it. If I do, oh yo, I'll get them boys excited. It's been  years and I'm fine without it.

I'm wasting my time?? No way! I don't want to have sex with just any guys because I don't feel like it. I don't want to mess with just any guy. I guess I'm shy because it has been so long.  ;D

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Your pads probably not bedded properly?  Either that or the dust guards are scratching the rotors?

Ohhh, I'll have to tell my bil if that's possible too. Thanks for the suggestion. I feel like it's grinding onto my tires or something.

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I don’t know much about brakes but I have never heard anyone describe the sound coming from the brakes with a “room room” sound.  Usually the sounds are, squeaking, grinding, thumping, squealing and scraping.

YES it's a grinding noise...  ;D I don't know where I got that room room sound from but I tried. After my partner changed my brakes, when I stopped, it makes that noise. My bil said he doesn't hear it but my sisters and I we do. One of my other bil said maybe he didn't loosen it up. I'm like oh yo, I don't know either.

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Hello there... Ever since I got my tires rotated at Nissan Dealership, my brake squeak loudly. Do you guys know what could of been the problem? Also, ever since my partner changed my brakes, I guess he must of not done a good job, when I braked my brakes goes room room like it's accelerating. I don't know how to explain. My car doesn't drive as smooth as before but it brakes good and everything. I'm frustrated.

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