Messages

16

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Talking to guys at the age of 30+

« on: April 10, 2018, 01:40:58 PM »

Just search on FB Hmong Singles and looking. There's 2 groups, it should have like over 1+ K people on there. If you're a woman, you have more luck because there's more guys on there. I quit the page because many said to me that I'm not single and why did I joined the page. I don't flirt on there because I'm not single. I met people who are mutual friends on my fb page.  I see my cousins, uncles and nephew too.... 

17

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Talking to guys at the age of 30+

« on: April 10, 2018, 12:50:07 PM »

Ohh, I'm also straightforwar d with the guy friends that I am not looking for anything at the moment and that I want to be single when I'm out of my relationship. I told them that I want to fully move on first before I start talking to anyone.

Why is it so hard for me to talk to like any guys from PH? Like seriously... 

18

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Talking to guys at the age of 30+

« on: April 10, 2018, 12:44:40 PM »

Hey, I heard that PH is slow so I decided to share my story. I like sweet & salty kettle corn popcorn. What flavors do you like? 

19

The Single & Dating Scenes / Talking to guys at the age of 30+

« on: April 10, 2018, 12:23:09 PM »

Good morning everyone. It has been a while and after my last post on here, I started talking to more people even though I'm still in a relationship with my partner. My experience of talking to more guys are from the FB page Hmong Singles and looking. I joined the page and decided to become active by posting questions and to my surprise, I got many friends requests and messages the more active I became. I'll average to 10+ request a day for a week. It was nice to know that even though I'm 33, it was still possible to find love at my age. When I first started talking to guys, I had a low self esteem. The more opened I became, I started feeling better about myself and I could feel my confidence coming back. I became more happier because of positive people who I've let into my life.

I spoken to a few guys and I told them honestly that I'm still in a relationship. I am blessed to know that they still stood by my side and waits for my call/texts. Whenever I feel down, those friends are just a phone call away. I don't know if the reason why I can't tolerate my partner anymore is because I'm talking to a new guy? When my partner and I are together, I'm not happy. It's like I just want to get away from him and I haven't spoken to him in almost a month. I ignored him because I feel he's toxic to my health. Whenever we argued and I'm not happy, I'll take off and call or text my guy friend. When I'm at work from 8-5, I could text/talk my friend but when I'm home, I can't. I'm feeling so empty because I'm confused in life. I don't want to have feelings with anyone but the more I talk to them, they are giving me the comfort and communication that I've lacked in my relationship. They are making me feel better about myself. Am I selfish for making them have feelings for me? They told me they misses me and I'm at a lost for words. I didn't plan for this to go this far but now I don't even know anymore. I haven't met anyone in person because I told them I have no confidence and I can't meet them. Sometimes I wish I could hang out with them but I know it's only for the best if I don't. The more I hang out with someone, I know feelings might develop and or I might regret the things I do. I'm also afraid if my partner finds out, it wouldn't be pretty.

Since I'm older, I prefer talking to younger guys because I feel they'll understand my situation. There are a few older guys who messaged me but because I'm not into guys with kids, I ignored them. I told everyone my preferences in guys is with someone who has no kids. I'm not being selfish but I don't have time to deal with baby mama's drama. Besides, it's harder to win a single parents love because their kids comes first. You get me? I don't know maybe I'll change my mind set later but I'm being real too. 

When you feel the lowest in life, there will be someone who will come into your life and will brighten and stand by you if you allow them. I don't consider me cheating on my partner because I'm not meeting/seeing any guys. Besides, I don't allow my feelings to go over the limit as friends. When they called me sweet/lovely names, I told them to call me by my given name instead. It's still possible to find love at any given age if you allow yourself to. Right now, my goal is to start working out and lose weight. I'm excited because I started feeling better.

20

General Discussion / Re: I haven't been in here a while. I have my own FB group.

« on: April 10, 2018, 11:54:31 AM »

Ohhh, I want to join your FB group if you don't mind. I dislike scrolling through the food page because some makes my mouth water.  My cousins posted a pic of my aunt making her coconut cake after so many attempt. It's nice to see people post food and recipe for the dummies like us to learn.

21

General Discussion / Re: What's your cure all medicine..

« on: March 19, 2018, 02:32:59 PM »

I used Vick's too. I love any kind of mint rub. I have one at work as well for when I feel a headache is coming.    I recently ordered this creme on Amazon and OMG, it's my go to creme for INFLAMMATION and PAIN.  It's called PENETREX and the best for muscle soreness. I rub this thing on my feet when it's tired or sore muscle. Amazing stuff because it really works!

22

General Relationship / Re: Perfection..

« on: March 15, 2018, 11:54:10 AM »

Very well said.
At this point we have talked here and there.  We are in a civil state right now.  He has not asked about his controllers.  He has not gone to the gym with me as I have been going with my sister in laws and friend.  We still sleep separately.  Not sure if he's majorly just sucking up, but he's been helping out around the house.. I told him I gave him a week to go back to normal.. We are coming up on a week so we shall see...

Haha thanks! Girl, I'm in a failed relationship.  Love can either make/break us. Most of the time when we think about being with them for 2+ years, that time being spent together, we decided to stay because we think about how long we have been together. Like we made it this made far and it'll get better. Most of the time, you're just comfortable with one another and can put up with each other attitude. That misconception is what a lot of unhappy relationships ends up to.

Girl, 1 week is not enough. He will change for you to gain your trust back and kabam, after 2-3 weeks, he will go back to being his old self again. I know because been there and done that. Well, continue to do the little things together and help him when he's doing it as well.

Since you're married, do not threaten him saying you'll leave him because one day when he does tell you to go and you can't, game over. You will now be the one who's wearing the collar. Good luck.

23

General Discussion / Re: How's your weather today?

« on: March 14, 2018, 05:47:18 PM »

Today it is cloudy and cold. It's 58 degrees right now at 3:45 PM. For the past two days it had been humid and rainy. I don't know how you guys can live in humid weather because it is so horrible. I felt like I couldn't breathe. 

24

General Discussion / Re: Should i sell my 2nd car ??

« on: March 14, 2018, 05:44:43 PM »

Yes! When you have a newer car girlfriend, you will not drive that older car anymore. I bought a new car a few years ago and have not even ride/touch in my older car since then.

25

General Discussion / Re: How is your day going so far today?

« on: March 14, 2018, 05:41:50 PM »

So far, it's okay. Actually, I lied. I do not feel okay. I am a bit emotional and sad. I am almost done for the day and I'm not sure what my plans are after work. I am homeless and feeling hopeless too. If only my family live near. 

26

General Discussion / Re: does time go by fast for you all

« on: March 14, 2018, 05:39:33 PM »

Yes. It's already March and I haven't even start my new year resolution goals yet.  Every year my parents are getting older and I want time to freeze. I don't want my parents to grow any older then today because I cannot imagine life without them.  I'm just feeling emotional today.

27

General Relationship / Re: Perfection..

« on: March 14, 2018, 05:36:03 PM »

If you are not happy right now, 5-10 years later down the road, you will still not be happy. We can never change anyone unless they decide to change themselves for the better. I suggest, talk to him when it's just the two of you and he's in a good mood. No one is perfect and I get that. You are not looking for Mr. Perfect but someone who is compatible and share responsibiliti es with you. Someone who will help you and you help him and there's nothing wrong with that.

In most cases, in order to do so, we have to let them go. If not, you will be at the same place and in the same relationship 5-10 years later down the road. I know a lot of people who let their partner go and some found happiness, some regret it and some are still in the same dead relationship as is. I wasn't happy in my relationship with my boyfriend but I couldn't leave him because he got sick. I thought of leaving him so many time/years because I'd the same mindset like you thinking "Only he can put up with me". I was wrong. No matter how much you love and do for someone, if you are not happy and they cannot fulfill your wishes, you'll end in depression. I did. Look, this year will mark our 12th years together and I've been trying to leave him since the 2nd year of dating him. A decade later and I'm still not happy.

If you plan to go, spread your wings and fly. When you are ready to do so, never look back. You'll be lonely and sad for a while but this is the beginning for a new chapter. A lot of people stay in hopeless/loveless relationship just because they are comfortable with one another. Ask yourself, can you see yourself with him 5-10 years later down the road with him being the way he is? Only you know the answer to that.  Good luck.