PebHmong Discussion Forum
Creative Corner => Online Journal => Topic started by: magenta on April 17, 2010, 03:29:26 PM
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happy khmer new year!! woke up extra early this morning. the hub and i decided to go to the new year without the kids.. just the two of us. walked around hand in hand.. reminded me of highschool. the hub asked me what class i had next. hahahahhaaa..
:)
it was a good day today..
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Sorry.. I was the one behind the camera.. Hahaha..
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Im not scurred :)
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Found a picture of the hub and i when we first started dating. He is still as hot as ever. Im dissapointed at myself. Seems like my thighs had doubled since my daughter came in the picture. Cant blame it on the babyfat anymore since shes almost 3. Maybe its from all the good loven that the hub hasnt left yet. Im disgusted and determined. Had a banana this morning. *sigh*
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woke up with the weirdest dream. had to repeat the dream in my head just so i would remember it so i can ask my mom what it means.
the hub and bil was with me. there was a landlady there trying to make the bil pay for something. she went through my purse and found a few items.. didnt take anything. but she found bobbypins and some flower hairclips.. she got really excited and started pinning them in her hair. i felt relief that maybe the hairclips would make her leave and not have the bil pay.. weird. she left.. but still wanted bil to pay. i followed her out.. went into this other room. i told that lady to give me back my stuff. she starts taking them off.. and i placed them in my shirt. there was so many hairpins that the hub had to help me carry them out. then i say one of my childhood friends *i love her*.. turns out that the landlady is her sister. i started crying to her.. she comforted me but didnt say much. then the hub and i left. i walked into our bedroom to put the hairpins away and there was damon from vampire diaries there.. hhahahahahahah .... i left and found my kids in the living room. asked where daddy was and they said he was getting the mail. looked outside and found the hub walking up to the door with mail in his hand. then i woke up. weird dream.
maybe i shouldnt think too much about it. but my mom has told me before that if a woman dreams of hairpins that she would be prenant with a girl. ??? well see.....
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Been frustrated with life. Cant make people change but cant eliminate them as well. Adapting is nowhere in sight. I need a breather.
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one of u khmer?
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Both of us :)
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so not hmong?
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im hmong.. trying to adapt/convert.. whatever you wanna call it :)
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im hmong.. trying to adapt/convert.. whatever you wanna call it :)
kinda like me! i was born white, but i converted at a young age
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Really? How/why is that?
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just cuz i wanted to
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The week just started... Yet im dreading this coming weekend. I hope it rains HARD. That will save me. I hate long drives.. Especially with people who hates me.. I can feel a zit popping out from the stress.. All my nails are gone too. Urghhh...
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woke up with a nightmare again. a little girl was haunting me. scares me..
anyways.. its been 3 days. i have my fingers crossed.. i hope i hope. if not now.. maybe next month. crossing my toes too now!!
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so much to do today.. then a weekend with the inlaws.. dear Lord. please PLEASE please let there be no drama. gonna miss the kids dearly.. :'(
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I need a drink right about now. Ok.. Maybe 10.
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I need a new start. People say i should appreciate what i have. What if its not what i want? I dont like to settle.. Especially for something less. I know theres many that i will hurt.. But i cant live this lie no longer. Action plan needs to be thought out and executed.
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Well what is it that you want to change?
action plan not thought out yet.. will say once it is. :) but i will say... the in laws are driving me INSANE!!!!!! >:(
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So I'm guessing with your hint, you want to leave your spouse if he/she doesn't take you away from the in laws?
they will never be taken out of the picture.. just need to throw them in line :knuppel2:
Did you see them do the Hawk-Eagle dance?
did not.. but i did see the oldies do their "rave" moves.. :2funny:
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feels like im loosing my mind. need to think positive... POSITIVE! dammit!!!! >:( >:( >:(
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today WILL be a good day!! O0
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not too sure if i should feel bad. ok. i lie. i feel bad.
regardless if your mom is a bi.tch.. today should be a day that you set everything aside and do something nice. even if she has done nothing for you. maybe its the way i grew up.. always been pretty close to my mom. i guess i dont understand. :-[
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*Just about to say hi...but tip toeing away...*
;D ;D
dont be scared.. i only bite when you want me to :)
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I hope you DO say that to your hubby, yes? :)
no. for him.. i just bite!
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so she came over. cried that nobody did or say anything to her for mothers day.. wanted to hug and tell her im sorry. but she wouldve pushed me away.. there was no point since im not apart of her family.. according to her. left the hub to handle it.. like always. i dont know how else to deal with her. frustrated.. hub tells me not to think too much abou it.. cant help it. :-[
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Mm
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im done. wednesday would be the day O0
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A little nervous but determined.. I can and will do it! Lols..
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came home around 11pm the other night after dinner with a gf. everyone was sleeping so i didnt turn on the lights. locked the door and when i turned around.. saw a dark silhouette that i thought was the hub. he just stood there.. thought the hub was trying to scare me. i tried slapping his stomach like i always do.. nothing. i walked forward and tried to push him out of the way.. nothing. then i ran for the lights and turned it on.. nobody. the hairs on my back stood up. i walked to our bedroom and the hub was knocked out by the way he was breathing. took a shower and went to bed. weird cause i didnt feel scared... hmmm...
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his collar bone is healed now.. finally! no more monkey bars.. at least for awhile. my lil guy.. i wanted to cry to see him in so much pain.
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almost a month.. yea.. i didnt make it. hahahaha... darn you ph!!!
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so much sadness.. cant make it go away.. must put a smile on.
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time to execute my decision. i feel as if im being reborn! horah!! 8)
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i dont know what to believe anymore. must stand my ground.. if i dont do it.. who will? too much to sacrifice.. but i know i wont be happy with myself if i dont. where is my EASY button goddammit!!!!
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Is expecting.. Tehehehee..
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Your like a big mac. You taste oh so good. I love you. But too much of you.. I become fat and my self esteem is gone. Its best to just give you up. Thanks but no thanks!
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So so sooooooo hungry.. Wasnt able to keep any food down for the past few days. Everything stank! Yuck! Had some chicken for dinner.. Think its about to come baack up. Ugh.. Cant wait to past this stage and eat EVERYTHING! lols...
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my heart aches today... please go away..
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U writing a daily activity u do or something?
I liked it. Lol!
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U writing a daily activity u do or something?
I liked it. Lol!
just jotting down random thoughts.. O0
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Keep on doing it.
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avatar of roach... looks like exhusband. hmmmmm... *bolts*
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Xhusband???
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heartburn.. go away.. come back... uh.. never! forgot my tums again. dammit... >:(
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Xhisband wanna to know.
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Wanna knoww what?
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Nothing lasts forever... Not even your problems. Man... I sure am hungry.
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was it my only choice? should i have done something else? was there a better solution that i missed? can it be fixed? or must i lay in the bed that ive made? so many questions running through my mind tonight. cant sleep.
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The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door, and pick out any cross you wish."
The man was filled with relief. "Thank you, Lord," he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. And the Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."
i sure do miss my God.
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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must
hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned
to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually
dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He
told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out
one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father
that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led
him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say
things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put
a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you
say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare
jewels, indeed! They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They
lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open
their hearts to us."
please forgive me if i left a hole in your fence.
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my kids are growing up way to fast... wish i can pause it for a few more years.
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first ultrasound.. it was pretty exciting! too early.. couldnt guess on the sex yet.. will have to head back after a few weeks.
(http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w228/traciedivathao/049-4.jpg)
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I sure hope its mine.. Cause it is using my uterus. :P
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Lols.. Thanks.