PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => The Single & Dating Scenes => Topic started by: MissKhou85 on April 10, 2018, 12:23:09 PM
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Good morning everyone. It has been a while and after my last post on here, I started talking to more people even though I'm still in a relationship with my partner. My experience of talking to more guys are from the FB page Hmong Singles and looking. I joined the page and decided to become active by posting questions and to my surprise, I got many friends requests and messages the more active I became. I'll average to 10+ request a day for a week. It was nice to know that even though I'm 33, it was still possible to find love at my age. When I first started talking to guys, I had a low self esteem. The more opened I became, I started feeling better about myself and I could feel my confidence coming back. I became more happier because of positive people who I've let into my life.
I spoken to a few guys and I told them honestly that I'm still in a relationship. I am blessed to know that they still stood by my side and waits for my call/texts. Whenever I feel down, those friends are just a phone call away. I don't know if the reason why I can't tolerate my partner anymore is because I'm talking to a new guy? When my partner and I are together, I'm not happy. It's like I just want to get away from him and I haven't spoken to him in almost a month. I ignored him because I feel he's toxic to my health. Whenever we argued and I'm not happy, I'll take off and call or text my guy friend. When I'm at work from 8-5, I could text/talk my friend but when I'm home, I can't. I'm feeling so empty because I'm confused in life. I don't want to have feelings with anyone but the more I talk to them, they are giving me the comfort and communication that I've lacked in my relationship. They are making me feel better about myself. Am I selfish for making them have feelings for me? They told me they misses me and I'm at a lost for words. I didn't plan for this to go this far but now I don't even know anymore. I haven't met anyone in person because I told them I have no confidence and I can't meet them. Sometimes I wish I could hang out with them but I know it's only for the best if I don't. The more I hang out with someone, I know feelings might develop and or I might regret the things I do. I'm also afraid if my partner finds out, it wouldn't be pretty.
Since I'm older, I prefer talking to younger guys because I feel they'll understand my situation. There are a few older guys who messaged me but because I'm not into guys with kids, I ignored them. I told everyone my preferences in guys is with someone who has no kids. I'm not being selfish but I don't have time to deal with baby mama's drama. Besides, it's harder to win a single parents love because their kids comes first. You get me? I don't know maybe I'll change my mind set later but I'm being real too. ;D
When you feel the lowest in life, there will be someone who will come into your life and will brighten and stand by you if you allow them. I don't consider me cheating on my partner because I'm not meeting/seeing any guys. Besides, I don't allow my feelings to go over the limit as friends. When they called me sweet/lovely names, I told them to call me by my given name instead. It's still possible to find love at any given age if you allow yourself to. Right now, my goal is to start working out and lose weight. I'm excited because I started feeling better.
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Hey, I heard that PH is slow so I decided to share my story. I like sweet & salty kettle corn popcorn. What flavors do you like? ;D
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Ohh, I'm also straightforwar d with the guy friends that I am not looking for anything at the moment and that I want to be single when I'm out of my relationship. I told them that I want to fully move on first before I start talking to anyone.
Why is it so hard for me to talk to like any guys from PH? Like seriously... ;D
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Let me join the group too! I'm still looking for my unicorn!!!
I want a girl that doesn't have kids, never been married.
But yeah, the best thing you can do for yourself is lose weight, that's what I'm doing.
I lost like 15 lbs.
And I'm so much more healthier and eating better.
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Just search on FB Hmong Singles and looking. There's 2 groups, it should have like over 1+ K people on there. If you're a woman, you have more luck because there's more guys on there. I quit the page because many said to me that I'm not single and why did I joined the page. I don't flirt on there because I'm not single. I met people who are mutual friends on my fb page. ;D I see my cousins, uncles and nephew too.... ;D ;D ;D
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when you talk to guys who are 30+, you'll find them to be more gentleman like, more experienced (you can count that into sex too), overall much more stable and matured. they will respect your privacy, built a relationship without strings attached, and more importantly, may even serve you as a sugar daddy.
anyone younger, you're likely to find play boys, if not gay boys. younger guys will play pretend to understand until they smack dat'ass. unless you are girlfriend material, one who's hot looking and working...they'll ghost yo'ass! i know what i'm talking about because, i was young once! ;) ;D
what's worst than cheating on your bf? cheating on yourself! if you're talking to guys and not phucking them, you're wasting your time.
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I started a group too for singles in cali when I was in cali, but all that joined were guys!
Cheezez!
And so I joined/was invited to this one group for cali folks..
I tried to make them all meet up or do things.. but they didn't want too!
But now they are! Sheesh!
I just wanted to create a group where single guys and gals can meet up and do things... not nessacirly date each other...
But girls are so weird they always think a guy just wanna hang out with them because they wanna get in their pants...
I personally just like hanging out with girls.
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when you talk to guys who are 30+, you'll find them to be more gentleman like, more experienced (you can count that into sex too), overall much more stable and matured. they will respect your privacy, built a relationship without strings attached, and more importantly, may even serve you as a sugar daddy.
anyone younger, you're likely to find play boys, if not gay boys. younger guys will play pretend to understand until they smack dat'ass. unless you are girlfriend material, one who's hot looking and working...they'll ghost yo'ass! i know what i'm talking about because, i was young once! ;) ;D
what's worst than cheating on your bf? cheating on yourself! if you're talking to guys and not phucking them, you're wasting your time.
I haven't talk to any guys older then me for the past month. Most are between 21-30 years old. I guess the reason why I'm not talking to older guys is because I'm not looking for a serious relationship. If I was, I would prefer a guy who's older then me for sure. For the mean time, I like younger guys because they're cool and more down to earth to talk to. Most guys over my age are mostly divorced with kids. FYI, I can't hang or stayed up all night like how I used to. I've been staying up late for the past weekends when I'm over at my moms and OMG, it really kills me. I'm used to waking up early too so not good at all. Dating, I'll talk to an older guy once I'm serious.
I disagree/agree with you about younger guys. The one I talk to are forever single okay? ;D I prefer a guy who doesn't go out and so forth. I like younger guys because I can BRAINWASH them. ;D Well, I'm not hot so paab tsis tau. ;D I don't talk about sex because I know what goes through their mind. Besides, I'm not the type that does phone sex and talk about it. If I do, oh yo, I'll get them boys excited. It's been years and I'm fine without it.
I'm wasting my time?? No way! I don't want to have sex with just any guys because I don't feel like it. I don't want to mess with just any guy. I guess I'm shy because it has been so long. ;D
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I started a group too for singles in cali when I was in cali, but all that joined were guys!
Cheezez!
And so I joined/was invited to this one group for cali folks..
I tried to make them all meet up or do things.. but they didn't want too!
But now they are! Sheesh!
I just wanted to create a group where single guys and gals can meet up and do things... not nessacirly date each other...
But girls are so weird they always think a guy just wanna hang out with them because they wanna get in their pants...
I personally just like hanging out with girls.
I like that idea too! It'll be nice to just hangout after a long week of work or school.
Well it's hard if there's not a lot of people. I noticed that girls are more shy when it comes to dating because most men are judgemental. Most guys prefer girls that are sexy and skinny and many aren't. The Hmong single page was not active until I started posting ice breaker questions. Some people joined the page for sex and whatever. Some women on there said that they are there for the D. ;D Theposter, add me as a friend on FB. We don't have to talk to each other. I got a few PHer's as friends too..
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I haven't talk to any guys older then me for the past month. Most are between 21-30 years old. I guess the reason why I'm not talking to older guys is because I'm not looking for a serious relationship. If I was, I would prefer a guy who's older then me for sure. For the mean time, I like younger guys because they're cool and more down to earth to talk to. Most guys over my age are mostly divorced with kids. FYI, I can't hang or stayed up all night like how I used to. I've been staying up late for the past weekends when I'm over at my moms and OMG, it really kills me. I'm used to waking up early too so not good at all. Dating, I'll talk to an older guy once I'm serious.
I disagree/agree with you about younger guys. The one I talk to are forever single okay? ;D I prefer a guy who doesn't go out and so forth. I like younger guys because I can BRAINWASH them. ;D Well, I'm not hot so paab tsis tau. ;D I don't talk about sex because I know what goes through their mind. Besides, I'm not the type that does phone sex and talk about it. If I do, oh yo, I'll get them boys excited. It's been years and I'm fine without it.
I'm wasting my time?? No way! I don't want to have sex with just any guys because I don't feel like it. I don't want to mess with just any guy. I guess I'm shy because it has been so long. ;D
if i was a girl...my milkshake will bring all them boys to the yard! i'd be like, let's do the nasty but don't tell my bf and then phuck up duma.
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Good morning everyone. It has been a while and after my last post on here, I started talking to more people even though I'm still in a relationship with my partner. My experience of talking to more guys are from the FB page Hmong Singles and looking. I joined the page and decided to become active by posting questions and to my surprise, I got many friends requests and messages the more active I became. I'll average to 10+ request a day for a week. It was nice to know that even though I'm 33, it was still possible to find love at my age. When I first started talking to guys, I had a low self esteem. The more opened I became, I started feeling better about myself and I could feel my confidence coming back. I became more happier because of positive people who I've let into my life.
I spoken to a few guys and I told them honestly that I'm still in a relationship. I am blessed to know that they still stood by my side and waits for my call/texts. Whenever I feel down, those friends are just a phone call away. I don't know if the reason why I can't tolerate my partner anymore is because I'm talking to a new guy? When my partner and I are together, I'm not happy. It's like I just want to get away from him and I haven't spoken to him in almost a month. I ignored him because I feel he's toxic to my health. Whenever we argued and I'm not happy, I'll take off and call or text my guy friend. When I'm at work from 8-5, I could text/talk my friend but when I'm home, I can't. I'm feeling so empty because I'm confused in life. I don't want to have feelings with anyone but the more I talk to them, they are giving me the comfort and communication that I've lacked in my relationship. They are making me feel better about myself. Am I selfish for making them have feelings for me? They told me they misses me and I'm at a lost for words. I didn't plan for this to go this far but now I don't even know anymore. I haven't met anyone in person because I told them I have no confidence and I can't meet them. Sometimes I wish I could hang out with them but I know it's only for the best if I don't. The more I hang out with someone, I know feelings might develop and or I might regret the things I do. I'm also afraid if my partner finds out, it wouldn't be pretty.
Since I'm older, I prefer talking to younger guys because I feel they'll understand my situation. There are a few older guys who messaged me but because I'm not into guys with kids, I ignored them. I told everyone my preferences in guys is with someone who has no kids. I'm not being selfish but I don't have time to deal with baby mama's drama. Besides, it's harder to win a single parents love because their kids comes first. You get me? I don't know maybe I'll change my mind set later but I'm being real too. ;D
When you feel the lowest in life, there will be someone who will come into your life and will brighten and stand by you if you allow them. I don't consider me cheating on my partner because I'm not meeting/seeing any guys. Besides, I don't allow my feelings to go over the limit as friends. When they called me sweet/lovely names, I told them to call me by my given name instead. It's still possible to find love at any given age if you allow yourself to. Right now, my goal is to start working out and lose weight. I'm excited because I started feeling better.
No matter how you are throwing this around or whatever scenario you're looking into. How are you saying it's not wrong is beyond me. Are you saying that it's okay if he does this to you?
Step outside for a bit, look into your life from a third person perspective. Or imagine, you're the parent and your son's girlfriend is talking to these men. Does that look like a good person with a great reputation? The two of you seems very immature in your ways of handling relations issues.
Of course they seem very understanding, they are looking and you're vulnerable and unstable in your situation. What do guys want MK?
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if i was a girl...my milkshake will bring all them boys to the yard! i'd be like, let's do the nasty but don't tell my bf and then phuck up duma.
I did my best to refrain from this recycled case but this zdn jailbird has got to bring my good name into it.
Sometimes you are just exhausted in dealing with a case like this. It is one of them case where you just can't wait for the story to end cuz the commercial is better filling than the case.
I personally lost interest in the case but I do like to talk about the ethics behind it though. I'm not here to give advice cuz we all know that the girl is weak as fawk so why bother?
Let me quote lao with the next one.
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No matter how you are throwing this around or whatever scenario you're looking into. How are you saying it's not wrong is beyond me. Are you saying that it's okay if he does this to you?
Step outside for a bit, look into your life from a third person perspective. Or imagine, you're the parent and your son's girlfriend is talking to these men. Does that look like a good person with a great reputation? The two of you seems very immature in your ways of handling relations issues.
Of course they seem very understanding, they are looking and you're vulnerable and unstable in your situation. What do guys want MK?
While your concern is valid and I do agree but with this case, it is beyond help and with that, we need to bust out the beyond help advice.
Sure what she is doing is wrong but if it is therapy for her, how can it be wrong for her thy self? As long as it is helping her to cope at the moment then party on home girl. Normal seems not to interest her so the unorthodox method to life is the redneck spice of life.
It is like how you try to stop your dad from smoking but all fails so you say fawk it, here's a box full of them, enjoy.
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I did my best to refrain from this recycled case but this zdn jailbird has got to bring my good name into it.
Sometimes you are just exhausted in dealing with a case like this. It is one of them case where you just can't wait for the story to end cuz the commercial is better filling than the case.
I personally lost interest in the case but I do like to talk about the ethics behind it though. I'm not here to give advice cuz we all know that the girl is weak as fawk so why bother?
Let me quote lao with the next one.
LOL...dude ma, quit yo'crying and give this girl some juice.
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LOL...dude ma, quit yo'crying and give this girl some juice.
You should come to Cali and service her. I'm willing to wrap a condom over your ddiicckk, hands free so you can use your hands to eat some sticky rice.
We see thirsty people here from time to time but it is absolutely wrong to toy with people's emotions like this. Then again, knowing zdn and his bedtime history, if you hit it one time, you'll
Pipe her, two times you'll like her, three times you'll wife her.
Dilly Dilly
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Just from reading your posts, you seem like someone who needs constant emotional validation from men, and you justify every act with a senseless excuse no matter how wrong you are. The guys in here who say that you're beyond help are right. We all see how immoral you're being. Even though you're over 30, you still need to do some growing up.
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You should come to Cali and service her. I'm willing to wrap a condom over your ddiicckk, hands free so you can use your hands to eat some sticky rice.
We see thirsty people here from time to time but it is absolutely wrong to toy with people's emotions like this. Then again, knowing zdn and his bedtime history, if you hit it one time, you'll
Pipe her, two times you'll like her, three times you'll wife her.
Dilly Dilly
toying with people's emotions...we hmong have a term...'cooking rocks for you to watch'
if i ever come back to cali, i'll leave no desperate woman, unturned. ha!
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While your concern is valid and I do agree but with this case, it is beyond help and with that, we need to bust out the beyond help advice.
Sure what she is doing is wrong but if it is therapy for her, how can it be wrong for her thy self? As long as it is helping her to cope at the moment then party on home girl. Normal seems not to interest her so the unorthodox method to life is the redneck spice of life.
It is like how you try to stop your dad from smoking but all fails so you say fawk it, here's a box full of them, enjoy.
Not necessary. If she talks to the right people, nothing is beyond help. Unless, it's "I don't care what people say" than I'll agree with you there. lol
All that coping is short lived, like putting a bandaid on it.
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Not necessary. If she talks to the right people, nothing is beyond help. Unless, it's "I don't care what people say" than I'll agree with you there. lol
All that coping is short lived, like putting a bandaid on it.
Same thing can be said with the big pharma companies. Read the instructions to Tylenol and it will say Temporary relief instead of an about problem solver.
I don't support the stuff she have done but I do support her getting help in the most temporary ways.
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It sounds to me that you need a break from your boyfriend. If you can't be happy now, I doubt you will be happy with him in the next 10 years. Staying with him will give you an excuse not to open yourself up for the right one. I say leave the boyfriend.
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...looks like you're looking for validation to cheat or get out of your relationship. In all honesty, you might be 33 years old, but you have the emotional maturity of a little girl who still needs to qualify her feelings from others before you make any decision in your life. Are you sure you want to avoid older men because you're afraid of what dating them might entail in terms of emotional commitment, or are you afraid they might expect you to act like a grown woman and be able to make decisions in your life without constantly looking to them for emotional validation?
Lost and confuse? Name one one adult who doesn't feel like that at least once or twice a day. This goes back to my belief that you're somehow emotionally stunted. One part of being a grown up is to take on things that you have little to no preparation to handle. A lot of times, you have just make a decision and go with it, regardless of if the outcome is to your liking or not.
You can string these young guys along all you want - and that is what you're doing and you're doing it knowing how these young, impressionable, men feel about you in the situation. You can pretend you're not doing anything wrong and it's all for fun, but remember that these young men are human beings as well. You might have a clear idea of the relationship you want to have with them, but they might not. That could lead to disastrous results if you improperly handle the situation - and reading form your post, you are.
My advice to you is, do whatever you want. But break up with your partner (if you haven't yet) and make sure you clarify your intentions to these younger men whom you're currently having an emotional affair with (which you are).
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Updated as of 6/04/18
For the past 2 weeks, I started seeing someone I met from Hmong single. Like how I mentioned that I’ve no self confidence, well he made me feel confident and comfortable in my own body. He says to me that I do not need to change myself or look like a certain someone to meet anyone. If they can’t accept you, don’t even bother knowing them. I thought about it and the previous week I messaged him saying “Let’s meet up because I will never lose weight”. ;D So we met for over an hour that night because my man went fishing over night with the guy on Sunday. We went to the park and walk and talk. This guy here is like skinny skinny. I am twice his size or bigger. ;D On Tuesday after memorial, we met up around noon time and grabbed Jamba Juice. We met for an hour and just chit chat. I had to sneak out to meet him. We continued to talk and see each other. I decided to give him 100% of my time and I guess I told him my pity story of my relationship. This past weekend we hung out and did a lot of things. We had our first lunch and dinner date, cruising through town and etc. He says to me he like me a lot and want more then friends. He said I make him happy. I’m confused at the moment because I don’t want any relationship. My partner trust me now and I can’t do anything suspicious because he’ll find out and can murder me.
Is it normal to have feelings for someone who’s filling all the empty voids in your life? I mean he’s showering me with love, doing everything for me and treating me like a woman. I mean who doesn’t want that? I always wanted to have a man who’ll go eat pho, papaya salad and seafood with me and he’s doing that with me. All the places that I go alone, were doing and going together. I’m just scared to take the next step. Honestly, I miss him and think I’m having feelings for him. My partner said the meaniest things to hurt my self esteem so I won’t cheat on him. With the new guy, everything he said to me it’s lije on point. He pushed my button, we butt head and disagree with one another because he made me see reality. He said I’m babysitting my man, he said stuff to me and it’s like I’m stuck in an eggshell and so forth. The more I talk to him, the more similarities we shared and vavlue in life which makes me start liking him more. My younger guy friends who I talk to, I only want to hear sugar coated words but with him he’s the opposite. He was the last person in messenger that I wanted to know. I ignored him 2 months ago because the truth hurts me.
I’m complicating my life because I want to see what options are out there for me. This is an update of what I’m doing so far. I’m seeing/talking to someone and we’re both on the same page.
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You should break up with your current partner. Then wait a while before dating again.
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Good morning everyone. It has been a while and after my last post on here, I started talking to more people even though I'm still in a relationship with my partner.
It was nice to know that even though I'm 33, it was still possible to find love at my age. When I first started talking to guys, I had a low self esteem. The more opened I became, I started feeling better about myself and I could feel my confidence coming back. I became more happier because of positive people who I've let into my life.
I spoken to a few guys and I told them honestly that I'm still in a relationship. I am blessed to know that they still stood by my side and waits for my call/texts. Whenever I feel down, those friends are just a phone call away.
If you are in a relationship, even a bad one, you need to devote all your time to that relationship. It sounds like you aren't that invested in the relationship if you are talking to other guys on this board. Even if it is just "support" and innocent, it reduces the value of the relationship you should be building with your SO. If you are looking for "support" here on PC, your "relationship" isn't real and you need to get rid of it because you are wasting your time and your SO's time.