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Author Topic: Risks you take when dating someone younger?  (Read 720 times)

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Offline theking

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Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« on: April 26, 2024, 01:00:15 PM »
My younger boyfriend and his new girlfriend live with me — he won’t have sex with me anymore

My boyfriend is 18 years younger than I am. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect, but I love him to death. Unfortunately, I’m going through menopause and have all the side effects. Long story short, he found another girl. It was just supposed to be for sex, and he told me he wouldn’t get into another relationship or marry anyone but me. Well, he fell for her, which I warned him he was going to do.

They are both at my apartment. I’m trying to make him happy by allowing this, but he can be so mean to me, and he’s so nice to her. He tells me how nice she is, etc. I told him it’s because he hasn’t hurt her yet. He won’t have sex with me now. He claims he isn’t favoring her, but he is.

I love him so much, and don’t want to lose him. I’m in so much pain because I can’t please him in every way. I don’t know what to do. Should I allow this and try to make it work, or should I give up since it seems like he has given up on me? — CAN’T STOP CRYING



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Offline JonniJacko

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Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2024, 08:22:38 PM »
Dang woman is crazy. She probably the type to hold unto her husband's corpse. Lol



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Offline Prude

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Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2024, 10:00:18 AM »
My younger boyfriend and his new girlfriend live with me — he won’t have sex with me anymore

My boyfriend is 18 years younger than I am. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect, but I love him to death. Unfortunately, I’m going through menopause and have all the side effects. Long story short, he found another girl. It was just supposed to be for sex, and he told me he wouldn’t get into another relationship or marry anyone but me. Well, he fell for her, which I warned him he was going to do.

They are both at my apartment. I’m trying to make him happy by allowing this, but he can be so mean to me, and he’s so nice to her. He tells me how nice she is, etc. I told him it’s because he hasn’t hurt her yet. He won’t have sex with me now. He claims he isn’t favoring her, but he is.

I love him so much, and don’t want to lose him. I’m in so much pain because I can’t please him in every way. I don’t know what to do. Should I allow this and try to make it work, or should I give up since it seems like he has given up on me? — CAN’T STOP CRYING


If she truly loves him and wants to do everything to please him like she has done in letting his girlfriend move in with them, then
she should let them have sex and do everything else in her place just so she can see him being happy.

But what kind of person is she to want to do that?



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2024, 03:10:51 AM »
This woman isn't in love. She has an unhealthy attachment or what the experts call trauma bond.

People with trauma will accept toxic situationships because they have a fear of abandonment. They also start to reason that even though they're not getting the relationship they want, something is better than nothing, and the other person still provides some benefits.

A man detested his wife. She was a difficult and critical person who lacked any affection. However, she was a very industrious person who knew how to build wealth. She was also a good mother to their children and was very efficient at managing the household. Plus, she wasn't the cheating type.

The man did not divorce the wife, but cheated on her instead, to soothe himself. He kept a side chick throughout their marriage. The other woman was barren. She was soft, agreeable, and attractive. She was also industrious and could manage the house. However, the man never married her. Not even as a second wife. He just used her to cope with the dysfunction at home. Perhaps if the man hadn't already been married, he would've liked to marry the mistress. But he felt overwhelmed at the thought of going through a messy divorce, splitting up the kids, losing assets, fracturing the family even more, and above all else, bringing the mistress he loved into the drama.

Therefore, the man continued to avoid being with his wife and instead, stayed busy working overtime then sleeping at the mistress's house.

The man continued to live this way until one day he killed himself.

So you see, the wife could've also left the husband. She knew full well that he hated her. At the same time, she couldn't stand him either. She felt very irritated by the way he talked, his hygiene, his humor, etc. But she did not divorce him because they already had a family.

There are many people who stay together because they're used to being miserable together.





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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2024, 03:26:12 AM »
Here is another story of people who stay due to trauma bond.

A boy and girl got married when they were teens. What happened was the girl visited him one day. Neither of them drove and so she had a friend drop her off at the boy's house. Now keep in mind that the girl wasn't deeply attracted to the boy. She was in the relationship just to have a boyfriend so that she didn't feel excluded from her friend group. They always talked about having a boyfriend to call them, buy them gifts, etc. Anyways, the parents were livid and forced a marriage.

Needless to say, it was a rocky marriage. The girl never missed an opportunity to call the boy "stupid", and she often made plans without him.

Moving forward, they are both old now. Late 40s to 50s. But they are still married. They both grew accustomed to living separate lives under one roof.

There are many older people living with someone they don't love. They're kind of like housemates who have sex once in awhile. Some don't even have sex anymore. These are people who started out as a couple, too. These are just miserable people who don't want to end up with each other, but ironically WILL end up with each other. But not even in a loving manner. It's because they don't have anyone else. They didn't take the leap to actually find and cultivate a healthy relationship after they broke up. They're living in limbo.

Getting old can make people agree to funny things.



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Offline Prude

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Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2024, 01:08:33 AM »
This woman isn't in love. She has an unhealthy attachment or what the experts call trauma bond.

People with trauma will accept toxic situationships because they have a fear of abandonment. They also start to reason that even though they're not getting the relationship they want, something is better than nothing, and the other person still provides some benefits.

A man detested his wife. She was a difficult and critical person who lacked any affection. However, she was a very industrious person who knew how to build wealth. She was also a good mother to their children and was very efficient at managing the household. Plus, she wasn't the cheating type.

The man did not divorce the wife, but cheated on her instead, to soothe himself. He kept a side chick throughout their marriage. The other woman was barren. She was soft, agreeable, and attractive. She was also industrious and could manage the house. However, the man never married her. Not even as a second wife. He just used her to cope with the dysfunction at home. Perhaps if the man hadn't already been married, he would've liked to marry the mistress. But he felt overwhelmed at the thought of going through a messy divorce, splitting up the kids, losing assets, fracturing the family even more, and above all else, bringing the mistress he loved into the drama.

Therefore, the man continued to avoid being with his wife and instead, stayed busy working overtime then sleeping at the mistress's house.

The man continued to live this way until one day he killed himself.

So you see, the wife could've also left the husband. She knew full well that he hated her. At the same time, she couldn't stand him either. She felt very irritated by the way he talked, his hygiene, his humor, etc. But she did not divorce him because they already had a family.

There are many people who stay together because they're used to being miserable together.

I know of a married woman who helped her husband get a second wife. She stayed married to him and
she paid for all of his new wedding costs and the second wife moved in with them.

People do that. But what kind of humans are they?

With three-somes and four-somes these days, I suppose they could enjoy such good times. :2funny: :2funny:



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2025, 03:33:22 PM »
I know of a married woman who helped her husband get a second wife. She stayed married to him and
she paid for all of his new wedding costs and the second wife moved in with them.

People do that. But what kind of humans are they?

With three-somes and four-somes these days, I suppose they could enjoy such good times. :2funny: :2funny:

A lot of Hmong wives get to a point where they're not looking or even expecting love and affection from a husband anymore. They want to be comforted that there will be a clan to bury them since many cannot go back to their neej tsa. Plus, they don't want to burden their brothers' wives who will resent them. Some of them have been away from their clan for so long that it would feel awkward to return, especially if they have kids who don't feel comfortable with the maternal clan.




« Last Edit: January 06, 2025, 03:14:02 PM by Believe_N_Me »

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