1
General Discussion / Uber to pull out of Minneapolis, MN - Good job!
« on: Today at 10:52:20 AM »
BIDEMONICS at work, y'all.
Too bad for Uber drivers though.
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
BIDEMONICS at work, y'all.
Too bad for Uber drivers though.
2
General Discussion / BIDEMONICS lol
« on: Today at 10:50:16 AM »
When I first saw the term "BIDENOMICS", I actually read "BIDEMONICS." LOL
3
General Discussion / The brainwashing is real and this is how we know...
« on: Today at 10:19:00 AM »
A few years ago BEFORE Obama, nutjobs like hmgROCK and the other PH woke lefties wouldn't have ever questioned the definition of a woman. I mean, do you really think lexicon would have intercourse with a transwoman? (okay, don't answer that, he might have 
). And do you think Visualmon would've said anything negative about Jews? OMG, not only would he think it was antisemitic but it's practically sinful to have a bad thought about God's chosen people - after all, Visualmon is a devout Christian.
But now that the woke Left has instructed their cult to believe otherwise (notice how I said "believe" instead of "think), the PH liberal clowns have come out in full force to promote their god's agenda.
). And do you think Visualmon would've said anything negative about Jews? OMG, not only would he think it was antisemitic but it's practically sinful to have a bad thought about God's chosen people - after all, Visualmon is a devout Christian. But now that the woke Left has instructed their cult to believe otherwise (notice how I said "believe" instead of "think), the PH liberal clowns have come out in full force to promote their god's agenda.
4
Marriage & Family Life / The type of man that will make a good husband
« on: April 15, 2024, 04:17:42 PM »
A lot of relationship sites tend to list off character traits that point to what makes a man a good husband, but what they don't list is that a man needs to be a "builder" - a term that relationship coach, Jonathan Aslay, uses.
Men who are looking to build a stable life tend to want marriage, are more committed to their wife, and make a better husband. They realize that in order to have a happy, peaceful and successful life, one needs to build it. Therefore, they place a lot of value in the things that they've built and are least likely to sabotage it. For lack of a better word, one can look at it this way: builders are creating and acquiring assets. They see value in marriage because they are looking for a trusting partner to help them oversee these possessions.
So if you're dating a man who doesn't express interest in putting down roots followed up with actions, this could mean that he doesn't have it in him to be in a marriage. Even if he enters one, it doesn't mean he knows what to do or will keep it because he isn't building anything so when the relationship sours, he doesn't feel like he has anything to save.
There are men who want to spend time and behave like a husband because they like the comfort it brings BUT they don't have it in them to actually be in a commitment and they will discard you when it no longer feels good to them. These are men who are in the relationship because of how the woman makes them "feel" and the benefits he gets from her. These are not men looking for a life mate to help them build and protect assets.
Men who are looking to build a stable life tend to want marriage, are more committed to their wife, and make a better husband. They realize that in order to have a happy, peaceful and successful life, one needs to build it. Therefore, they place a lot of value in the things that they've built and are least likely to sabotage it. For lack of a better word, one can look at it this way: builders are creating and acquiring assets. They see value in marriage because they are looking for a trusting partner to help them oversee these possessions.
So if you're dating a man who doesn't express interest in putting down roots followed up with actions, this could mean that he doesn't have it in him to be in a marriage. Even if he enters one, it doesn't mean he knows what to do or will keep it because he isn't building anything so when the relationship sours, he doesn't feel like he has anything to save.
There are men who want to spend time and behave like a husband because they like the comfort it brings BUT they don't have it in them to actually be in a commitment and they will discard you when it no longer feels good to them. These are men who are in the relationship because of how the woman makes them "feel" and the benefits he gets from her. These are not men looking for a life mate to help them build and protect assets.
5
Shout Outs & Dedications / The unread letter(s)
« on: April 15, 2024, 11:59:50 AM »
They say that journaling is the first step to healing. In this thread, write a letter or give your piece of mind to a situation that made you feel a type of way.
6
Marriage & Family Life / Couples Who Hate Each Other But Won't Part Ways
« on: April 15, 2024, 11:42:29 AM »
Better the devil you know, then the devil you don't know.
There was a married couple in our community where the husband detested his wife. He felt a lot of vitriol towards her, and she hated him, too. He had a side chick whom he wouldn't marry because the wife was one of those "heev heev" type and therefore, it would've been too much drama for him. As if there wasn't already drama.
Btw, the side chick was an older single woman who couldn't bear children so she was a perfect option for the husband. Anyways, the husband coped by working all the time and then on weekends he'd go hunting and fishing all day and night. Just to show how much the husband didn't want to be in the marriage, he wouldn't even stay for their own family gatherings. No one ever saw much of him except as he was leaving for work. This guy loved over-time or something, and since he was a white-collar professional, he always used work an excuse not to be home. And then of course, hunting was his coping mechanism for stress.
The wife wasn't a great person either. She was highly critical of the husband and berated him at every opportunity. Then she would weaponize his reactions by talking in public about how bad he was, and how he didn't love her. This went on for decades until his health deteriorated and he had a stroke. At that point, he was really at her mercy and that's when she would gloat. She provoked fights by bringing up the side chick, knowing that he was debilitated and couldn't speak. Every time she had to feed or bathe him, she'd say things like, "yom, cov neeg siab phem mas yeej npam tiag." One day, despite being immobilized, the husband was able to get a hold of his hunting rifle and shot himself dead.
I have no encouraging words to say to these toxic couples. The wife stayed in the marriage only because she wanted to torment him for all the times that he mistreated her. While he only stayed because despite her being "heev heev" and not someone he desired, she was the industrious type who got things done around the house. And not to mention, she was good with money, didn't cheat, and was useful to him in those ways. She also came from a good family and that also benefitted him because he had none.
There was a married couple in our community where the husband detested his wife. He felt a lot of vitriol towards her, and she hated him, too. He had a side chick whom he wouldn't marry because the wife was one of those "heev heev" type and therefore, it would've been too much drama for him. As if there wasn't already drama.
Btw, the side chick was an older single woman who couldn't bear children so she was a perfect option for the husband. Anyways, the husband coped by working all the time and then on weekends he'd go hunting and fishing all day and night. Just to show how much the husband didn't want to be in the marriage, he wouldn't even stay for their own family gatherings. No one ever saw much of him except as he was leaving for work. This guy loved over-time or something, and since he was a white-collar professional, he always used work an excuse not to be home. And then of course, hunting was his coping mechanism for stress. The wife wasn't a great person either. She was highly critical of the husband and berated him at every opportunity. Then she would weaponize his reactions by talking in public about how bad he was, and how he didn't love her. This went on for decades until his health deteriorated and he had a stroke. At that point, he was really at her mercy and that's when she would gloat. She provoked fights by bringing up the side chick, knowing that he was debilitated and couldn't speak. Every time she had to feed or bathe him, she'd say things like, "yom, cov neeg siab phem mas yeej npam tiag." One day, despite being immobilized, the husband was able to get a hold of his hunting rifle and shot himself dead.
I have no encouraging words to say to these toxic couples. The wife stayed in the marriage only because she wanted to torment him for all the times that he mistreated her. While he only stayed because despite her being "heev heev" and not someone he desired, she was the industrious type who got things done around the house. And not to mention, she was good with money, didn't cheat, and was useful to him in those ways. She also came from a good family and that also benefitted him because he had none.
7
General Relationship / Cheating: Avoidant vs. Narcissist
« on: April 15, 2024, 09:49:37 AM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWb6gg57i7g&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=30
Which do you find worse? Both are pretty terrible and it isn't surprising that both carry crossover traits.
Personally, I find the severe avoidant worse because you never find out until it's too late. Narcissists are typically easy to spot and only really broken, insecure people ignore the red flags. On the contrary, severe avoidants are masters at appearing like secure attachment individuals. And remember that avoidants only discard when the relationship is going great, whereas narcs are narcs through and through.
So for me, it's worse to be discarded, cheated on, ghosted, and have the rug pulled from underneath me just as things are going great vs. a narc cheating during a rocky relationship anyways. Plus, avoidants don't always physically cheat. A lot of it is emotional cheating so they will gaslight you to make you think you're insecure and jealous. I know a severely avoidant guy who was always cheating, whether he was cheating while in a relationship, or cheating with others while he was single. He'd cheat with single, divorced, widowed, and even married women - claiming that he was just there to listen to their problems. But he often went further than just listen to their problems.
Which do you find worse? Both are pretty terrible and it isn't surprising that both carry crossover traits.
Personally, I find the severe avoidant worse because you never find out until it's too late. Narcissists are typically easy to spot and only really broken, insecure people ignore the red flags. On the contrary, severe avoidants are masters at appearing like secure attachment individuals. And remember that avoidants only discard when the relationship is going great, whereas narcs are narcs through and through.
So for me, it's worse to be discarded, cheated on, ghosted, and have the rug pulled from underneath me just as things are going great vs. a narc cheating during a rocky relationship anyways. Plus, avoidants don't always physically cheat. A lot of it is emotional cheating so they will gaslight you to make you think you're insecure and jealous. I know a severely avoidant guy who was always cheating, whether he was cheating while in a relationship, or cheating with others while he was single. He'd cheat with single, divorced, widowed, and even married women - claiming that he was just there to listen to their problems.
But he often went further than just listen to their problems.
8
General Relationship / What is up with this generation claiming disability instead of getting a job?
« on: April 08, 2024, 09:02:02 PM »
So on the subject of hobosexuals, I was listening to a Nancy Yang story about a divorcee in her mid 40s. She remarried to a divorced guy who was about 5 years older. After he got laid off he decided to apply for disability instead of trying to get another job. Would he really qualify?
I didn't think this generation of Hmong would settle for that since many of them speak English and went through the public school system. They would've had some work training and picked up skills. Needless to say, the marriage was rocky and they divorced after only a little more than a year of marriage.
I didn't think this generation of Hmong would settle for that since many of them speak English and went through the public school system. They would've had some work training and picked up skills. Needless to say, the marriage was rocky and they divorced after only a little more than a year of marriage.
9
General Relationship / Why you don't need to forgive in order to heal and move on with life
« on: April 08, 2024, 10:33:35 AM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZXGjyF4M4w&list=PLTi6COY1KUltCjjYLxsSUqYwJvsiNoZcP&index=123&t=322s
A lot of people make the recommendation that you need to forgive those who hurt you in order to heal, but according to Dr. Ramani, "no, you don't."
I heavily agree with her, especially if you've given someone another chance (or in some cases, many chances) after the first time they betrayed you. With some actions, it is not up to you (the victim) to forgive them but the divine (God) to be merciful on the offender. Those who repeatedly offend after they've been given a chance to do right will pay the consequences through karma.
A lot of people make the recommendation that you need to forgive those who hurt you in order to heal, but according to Dr. Ramani, "no, you don't."
I heavily agree with her, especially if you've given someone another chance (or in some cases, many chances) after the first time they betrayed you. With some actions, it is not up to you (the victim) to forgive them but the divine (God) to be merciful on the offender. Those who repeatedly offend after they've been given a chance to do right will pay the consequences through karma.
10
General Relationship / Were all your exes toxic? You might be a severe avoidant attachment style
« on: April 05, 2024, 11:25:01 AM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5_1vHpQVQ0&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=14
Since severely avoidant attachment people are emotionally unavailable, they are more comfortable with those who have the same attachment disorder because there is no fear of getting attached. They commit to toxic partners while driving away healthy ones because they feel safe from developing true feelings.
Severely avoidants developed the disorder at an early age. They either had neglectful parents, or a volatile home environment. They learned early on not to get too attached because the loss is too painful.
Therefore, even though they desire a healthy relationship, they often end up not choosing a safe partner and revert back to what is familiar.
Since severely avoidant attachment people are emotionally unavailable, they are more comfortable with those who have the same attachment disorder because there is no fear of getting attached. They commit to toxic partners while driving away healthy ones because they feel safe from developing true feelings.
Severely avoidants developed the disorder at an early age. They either had neglectful parents, or a volatile home environment. They learned early on not to get too attached because the loss is too painful.
Therefore, even though they desire a healthy relationship, they often end up not choosing a safe partner and revert back to what is familiar.
11
General Discussion / Scary world...there are some nonsensical people out there
« on: April 04, 2024, 04:43:17 PM »
Awhile ago I had some visitors in my hometown for the funeral of a mutual friend. Despite their proclamation of "diversity is our strength" and having marched in numerous "inclusivity" parades, they were pretty rattled up when they had to actually be in the thick of the "diverse" people whom they regard as unicorns in society. It was as if they'd never actually come in close contact with a unicorn before. My city/state has a lot of those unicorns you see. I told them that even those unicorns were fearful of each other and that's why they were always jumping through hoops to be wherever the white people went. One of the visitors said, "that's sad. Internal racism is real. That's what the white people do. They make us racist against ourselves." 
She then went onto say that if we were all still living in an isolated hillside Hmong village in Laos and there was a Hmong person who stole from us, that person would just be a regular criminal. Our opinion of him being a thief is correct because we're the mainstream group in that village. But if that same person stole from us here in America, we should show solidarity because we aren't the mainstream group. Calling him a criminal and wanting to remove him from our neighborhood would be internal racism.
She then went onto say that if we were all still living in an isolated hillside Hmong village in Laos and there was a Hmong person who stole from us, that person would just be a regular criminal. Our opinion of him being a thief is correct because we're the mainstream group in that village. But if that same person stole from us here in America, we should show solidarity because we aren't the mainstream group. Calling him a criminal and wanting to remove him from our neighborhood would be internal racism.
12
General Relationship / Good video talking about the stress of a FWB situationship
« on: April 04, 2024, 01:26:27 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V8b16-2QS0&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=8
He made some really great points about the stress that comes with being in a friends with benefits situationship. This dynamic can cause unnecessary pain and complications that will negatively impact how you appear to emotionally available people once you decide that you are ready for a committed relationship.
Will be back to summarize key points.
He made some really great points about the stress that comes with being in a friends with benefits situationship. This dynamic can cause unnecessary pain and complications that will negatively impact how you appear to emotionally available people once you decide that you are ready for a committed relationship.
Will be back to summarize key points.
13
General Relationship / The reasons for these postings
« on: April 03, 2024, 03:46:30 PM »
I noticed that in the Youtube Hmong community, we have so many channels that only talk about relationship drama, BUT we don't have any channels addressing how to heal from them. Simply type in May Vang, Nancy Yang, Jenny Vang or Mab Vaj and you'll find volumes of situationship horror stories BUT where are the Youtubers who offer ways to heal? Who will explain why this happened and that a large part of it relates to attachment disorders?
On the contrary, in the mainstream community there are hundreds of therapists, counselors, and relationship experts giving advise on how to recover from these traumatic experiences. Honestly, if the Hmong men and women who have suffered trauma from being in a situationship could only understand that they may have been dealing with someone who has a disorder or is narcissistic, it may help them to heal.
On the contrary, in the mainstream community there are hundreds of therapists, counselors, and relationship experts giving advise on how to recover from these traumatic experiences. Honestly, if the Hmong men and women who have suffered trauma from being in a situationship could only understand that they may have been dealing with someone who has a disorder or is narcissistic, it may help them to heal.
14
General Relationship / Avoidants thrive in a Friends With Benefits Situationship
« on: April 03, 2024, 12:59:18 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yezIyGPJXlc&t=803s
If you decide that an avoidant is your person and you want to stick with them, just know that they can discard you at any given time depending on what triggers them because they have an attachment disorder. The trigger can be as small as expecting them contribute around the house. Basically, anything that can appear as a means to control them or pushing them into a romantically committed relationship.
You really have to be okay being in a friends with benefits situationship in order to keep them coming back around because the avoidant will be in and out a lot. Sometimes it will appear as though they're in a romantic relationship with you, but mostly they will behave like it's casual because they have a severe need to feel in control of their independence. Don't be surprised if they frequently share stories about the other women they've been with because they mostly view you as a friend whom they can get a female perspective from. It's also a strategy that blocks romantic feelings from developing.
After awhile, they will often withhold sex because this creates distance and sets low expectations so that you won't get the impression the relationship is serious or growing deeper. You'll even notice that once you've moved on to having your own life - even dating someone else - they will start to feel sexual desire towards you because you have to remember they feel safer when you're unavailable to them. Plus, if they are able to get with you, they feel validated as though you chose them over your other suitors. Avoidants have issues with self-worth, and crave to be desired but have a great fear of rejection at the same time. This was caused by childhood trauma where their primary caregiver neglected them OR their first experience with a romantic partner was really abusive. They developed a fear of intimacy and concluded that they can't trust anybody.
You might even notice that they have a lot of really close connections with married women, and female colleagues. (This can apply to avoidant women but according to therapists, avoidants are typically men). This is because they are engaging in emotional affairs for stimulation with unavailable people. You have to remember that avoidant men are masters at being charismatic and appearing like the perfect partner. They're really good listeners so women going through rough situationships/relationships find them to be healing. Avoidant men are highly likely to cheat because an affair is stimulating while the secrecy of it means they don't have to hold any accountability . The married women/female colleague can't call him out because he'll always use her situation as the reason why he can't put forth more effort.
So again, a friend with benefits situationship is best for an avoidant and for YOU because as a friend, you might not feel as rejected or hurt by the avoidant's behavior pattern. As only a friend, you probably have an entirely independent life apart from him. You won't take his actions so personally because you won't expect him to meet the expectations of a fully committed romantic partner. You'll have a friend in him first, and that's why he stays with you for the long haul. At the end of the day, the avoidant still has needs and desires to have a ride or die partner. Someone he can come home to, depend on for resources, help him with the mundane things in daily life, etc. But he just doesn't want to be married, romantically tied or be in an obligatory commitment to that partner.
If you decide that an avoidant is your person and you want to stick with them, just know that they can discard you at any given time depending on what triggers them because they have an attachment disorder. The trigger can be as small as expecting them contribute around the house. Basically, anything that can appear as a means to control them or pushing them into a romantically committed relationship.
You really have to be okay being in a friends with benefits situationship in order to keep them coming back around because the avoidant will be in and out a lot. Sometimes it will appear as though they're in a romantic relationship with you, but mostly they will behave like it's casual because they have a severe need to feel in control of their independence. Don't be surprised if they frequently share stories about the other women they've been with because they mostly view you as a friend whom they can get a female perspective from. It's also a strategy that blocks romantic feelings from developing.
After awhile, they will often withhold sex because this creates distance and sets low expectations so that you won't get the impression the relationship is serious or growing deeper. You'll even notice that once you've moved on to having your own life - even dating someone else - they will start to feel sexual desire towards you because you have to remember they feel safer when you're unavailable to them. Plus, if they are able to get with you, they feel validated as though you chose them over your other suitors. Avoidants have issues with self-worth, and crave to be desired but have a great fear of rejection at the same time. This was caused by childhood trauma where their primary caregiver neglected them OR their first experience with a romantic partner was really abusive. They developed a fear of intimacy and concluded that they can't trust anybody.
You might even notice that they have a lot of really close connections with married women, and female colleagues. (This can apply to avoidant women but according to therapists, avoidants are typically men). This is because they are engaging in emotional affairs for stimulation with unavailable people. You have to remember that avoidant men are masters at being charismatic and appearing like the perfect partner. They're really good listeners so women going through rough situationships/relationships find them to be healing. Avoidant men are highly likely to cheat because an affair is stimulating while the secrecy of it means they don't have to hold any accountability . The married women/female colleague can't call him out because he'll always use her situation as the reason why he can't put forth more effort.
So again, a friend with benefits situationship is best for an avoidant and for YOU because as a friend, you might not feel as rejected or hurt by the avoidant's behavior pattern. As only a friend, you probably have an entirely independent life apart from him. You won't take his actions so personally because you won't expect him to meet the expectations of a fully committed romantic partner. You'll have a friend in him first, and that's why he stays with you for the long haul. At the end of the day, the avoidant still has needs and desires to have a ride or die partner. Someone he can come home to, depend on for resources, help him with the mundane things in daily life, etc. But he just doesn't want to be married, romantically tied or be in an obligatory commitment to that partner.
15
General Relationship / "Situationship" is not a relationship
« on: April 03, 2024, 11:10:20 AM »
All these terms are fascinating.
Therapists, counselors, and relationship experts do not view cohabitating boyfriend/girlfriend as having a relationship but a "situationship".
A situationship can have all the appearance and perks of a relationship but without the commitment, obligations, and expectations of a real romantic partner.
Those who have been in a situationship, especially if they've been in more than one, are more likely to have a higher divorce rate should they get married. Whether that is to the situationship partner or to a new person.
Situationships do not help the parties involved to develop healthy patterns of relationship behavior. In fact, it is the opposite, according to therapist Suzanne Venker. Why? Because a situationship sets up the parties involved how to find the negatives and red flags in their partner in order to justify ending the connection. In other words, these people get together to break up. Think of it this way, "let's live together and act like husband and wife, so that we can find out if I really want to marry you." Well of course you would only be looking for the negatives.
And once they identify the negatives, there is no obligation to reconcile when the entire purpose was to look for red flags so that you can exit. Whereas in a marriage, you are there to reconcile and work together through the red flags. Each partner is more willing to work through challenges in order to keep the marriage.
Situationships teach the parties involved how to perfect a breakup. They're used to it and view it as a good option - in fact, the only solution to conflict.
Those who have been in one or more situationship have a more pessimistic view about marriage and are least likely to enter one. I'm not saying that marriage is the only kind of connection to have. If two consenting adults are okay with a situationship then by all means, do whatever floats their boat. But just know that the situationship has a guaranteed ending - it's kind of the purpose. You're only in it for as long as it is convenient and enjoyable.
However, the ending of a situationship doesn't come without grief, heartbreak, disappointment, and trauma. In fact, some might say it is more traumatizing than a divorce. With a divorce, the parties involved can at least say that they gave it their best shot. They don't have to wonder the what ifs, and they don't feel taken advantage of. Something that cannot be said about a situationship. One party, particularly the woman, always feel like she was used and misled. Because the woman tends to invest more emotionally, often times financially as well, in a situationship since she is hoping that it would turn into a full commitment. And she feels pressured to prove herself as good enough for him to commit to. Unless of course this is a dynamic where she is a gold-digger, then the man will feel a lot of anger when it ends.
Also, people who were in a situationship carry their negative experience and developed bad behaviors into the next relationship. They project all their insecurities and pessimism onto the new person. The same reasons that people hesitate to marry a divorced person can be true for why someone would hesitate to get with a person who was in a situationship. Again, a situationship may not have involved full commitment, but it certainly included many of the perks and pitfalls of a marriage. And again, I always say worse since parties in a situationship never fully gave themselves so they're not even conditioned to know how to behave like a fully committed romantic partner.
Therapists are finding that the majority of their clients are those who were in a situationship rather than a marriage. Modern dating and feminism have moved the culture away from marriage and more people are getting into a situationship. Therapists are saying that this has changed the way they practice because those suffering from a situationship breakup are having a more difficult time healing. Furthermore, they get into another situationship or find themselves divorced when they marry. This is why we're seeing a dramatic increase in divorce rates. It's not just divorced people remarrying and divorced. It includes never-been married people whose had a situationship that don't know how to cultivate a healthy marriage.
Therapists, counselors, and relationship experts do not view cohabitating boyfriend/girlfriend as having a relationship but a "situationship".
A situationship can have all the appearance and perks of a relationship but without the commitment, obligations, and expectations of a real romantic partner.
Those who have been in a situationship, especially if they've been in more than one, are more likely to have a higher divorce rate should they get married. Whether that is to the situationship partner or to a new person.
Situationships do not help the parties involved to develop healthy patterns of relationship behavior. In fact, it is the opposite, according to therapist Suzanne Venker. Why? Because a situationship sets up the parties involved how to find the negatives and red flags in their partner in order to justify ending the connection. In other words, these people get together to break up. Think of it this way, "let's live together and act like husband and wife, so that we can find out if I really want to marry you." Well of course you would only be looking for the negatives.
And once they identify the negatives, there is no obligation to reconcile when the entire purpose was to look for red flags so that you can exit. Whereas in a marriage, you are there to reconcile and work together through the red flags. Each partner is more willing to work through challenges in order to keep the marriage.
Situationships teach the parties involved how to perfect a breakup. They're used to it and view it as a good option - in fact, the only solution to conflict.
Those who have been in one or more situationship have a more pessimistic view about marriage and are least likely to enter one. I'm not saying that marriage is the only kind of connection to have. If two consenting adults are okay with a situationship then by all means, do whatever floats their boat. But just know that the situationship has a guaranteed ending - it's kind of the purpose. You're only in it for as long as it is convenient and enjoyable.
However, the ending of a situationship doesn't come without grief, heartbreak, disappointment, and trauma. In fact, some might say it is more traumatizing than a divorce. With a divorce, the parties involved can at least say that they gave it their best shot. They don't have to wonder the what ifs, and they don't feel taken advantage of. Something that cannot be said about a situationship. One party, particularly the woman, always feel like she was used and misled. Because the woman tends to invest more emotionally, often times financially as well, in a situationship since she is hoping that it would turn into a full commitment. And she feels pressured to prove herself as good enough for him to commit to. Unless of course this is a dynamic where she is a gold-digger, then the man will feel a lot of anger when it ends.
Also, people who were in a situationship carry their negative experience and developed bad behaviors into the next relationship. They project all their insecurities and pessimism onto the new person. The same reasons that people hesitate to marry a divorced person can be true for why someone would hesitate to get with a person who was in a situationship. Again, a situationship may not have involved full commitment, but it certainly included many of the perks and pitfalls of a marriage. And again, I always say worse since parties in a situationship never fully gave themselves so they're not even conditioned to know how to behave like a fully committed romantic partner.
Therapists are finding that the majority of their clients are those who were in a situationship rather than a marriage. Modern dating and feminism have moved the culture away from marriage and more people are getting into a situationship. Therapists are saying that this has changed the way they practice because those suffering from a situationship breakup are having a more difficult time healing. Furthermore, they get into another situationship or find themselves divorced when they marry. This is why we're seeing a dramatic increase in divorce rates. It's not just divorced people remarrying and divorced. It includes never-been married people whose had a situationship that don't know how to cultivate a healthy marriage.