Messages

31

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Is it okay to ignore good night and good morning texts?

« on: March 31, 2022, 06:53:58 PM »

I think you're sending him mix messages.  Have a honest conversation to find out where you and he stands on things instead of wondering/guessing.

I never reach out to him but I do respond out of politeness… but you are right that maybe I am sending him mix messages. I try to stay in the friendly side..but the messages are nonstop and I can’t stop from responding even though sometimes I let it go for a whole day… maybe I just need to find a cool way to say it to him

32

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: March 30, 2022, 11:00:22 PM »

I know.
http://www.pebhmong.com/forum/index.php/topic,408811.0.html

***heart this 

33

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: March 30, 2022, 10:39:50 PM »

Continuation…

Months later and I changed my window curtains which looks out toward the location he died. My house would of been the last thing he saw before he went down and I was just there, sitting in my living room just a few yards from him…..Im eerily creeped out about it, sometimes I wonder if his sprit still roams around… I don’t know. But I will tell you this, that day, as I sprinted outside to see what was going on, I smelled a strong scent of roses coming toward me and a gush of wind that came right at my face…. I spunned around to smell it, inhaled it and I noticed that I was surround by this sweet scent of funeral flowers, of roses and carnations….I’m sure it was him in that very moment when his spirit left his body and it drifted with the winds out toward me

Moments when I’m alone I still think about him. Or when I’m doing the dishes, I’m staring directly at the spot….How can a person suffer that greatly and we just didn’t  know about it…and that shit breaks my heart… this experience was deeply sad but in some way it was in a hauntingly, sorrowful, strange and sad kind of way…


If you ever feel suicidal please get help!

34

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Is it okay to ignore good night and good morning texts?

« on: March 28, 2022, 05:25:07 PM »

haha not going to lie, but i was once probably that kind of guy...but even still subconsciously I always thought, hmmm if her reponse doesn't seem genuine or she's only answering her phone not to hurt my feelings, I really shouldn't call her so much anymore or anymore alltogether..l ols...it's just a phase some guys go through...when they reach their full game, they'll look back at what a fuking simp or dumbass they were..lols.. I since learned, if someone's not interested in you or showing interest, don't put in anymore effort or energy..althou gh for some persistency does pay off, and for some women, they do want to be chased and worked for- I see this trend dying down compare to just 10-20 years ago..thinking back, i would had just prefer the girl tell me what Im doing wrong..like hey, go ahead tell me, i'm too clingy, or im trying or doing too much...lols or you're too softhearted..l ols or you laugh too damn much, you don't have to chuckle after every fuking sentence..lmao

I thought we was just friends but perhaps I’ve developed some feelings along the way and need to end it. I know it’s wrong but I want to do it without hurting feelings…  and being weird about it

35

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Do Hmong girls approach a guy that they like?

« on: March 28, 2022, 04:55:23 PM »

Hahaha nothings wrong with approaching but for me hell no…

36

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: March 28, 2022, 04:36:42 PM »

***sensitive topic***

I don’t know if this is appropriate to share but I still want to share it anyways…

I ended up going to therapy after my neighbor committed suicide..that shit legit ducked me up so bad! Not only did it traumatized me in every sense but I was deeply sad for many months. Seeing his lifeless body left me having terrifying nightmares…those images will stay with me for the rest of my life….and I would ask myself, why the duck did he have to go out that way….

I still can’t believe it…the way he chose to go… yeah, he’s got some big ass balls to take his ass out that way… and I mean that hurts and pisses me off at the same time… it was in the middle of a beautiful and sunny day, on a busy ducken afternoon… he woke up that day and decided that it was time to leave this shit life behind and whether he was going to descend to hell or float away to the heavens, that didn’t matter, he was wanting to go to on to some place else, some place better and, he was ready. Or are these events unplanned?

He took his own life in front of his house!

I heard a loud single pop sound which startled me….by the time I got my sandals on and ran outside to see what was going on, the cops and medics arrived and had begun taping down the street with caution tape. I live in a small town so it took 5 minutes for them to arrive. And within that short time, he was gone. There was no more…

And I weeped and for a while I grieved over the loss like he was a lover, a child of mine.

There were no signs, everyone kept saying. How did he get a gun, everyone kept asking. No one knows…but that shit killed my soul, I wanted to rewind the day, back to the moment he was alive, wished I could of done something to help him. I feel a sense of guilt. I think back to the last time I saw him, which was the day before and those last few months… he always looked at me like he wanted to talk or  say something but I always acted like I was too good to stop for a short chat. I hate that about myself… I have this issue with my pride… and I am working on it.

Continue…

37

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: March 18, 2022, 12:37:49 PM »

It’s one of those days, I’m feeling like Harley Quinn. I have so much repressed emotions that need to be let out in some crazy way. I want to crawl on someone’s lap be babied and loved  at the same time I want to drive far away to some abandoned field and scream at the top of my lungs.

Apparently my therapist told me that I am mentally and emotionally healthy. That will be my next story time

38

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Is it okay to ignore good night and good morning texts?

« on: March 18, 2022, 12:24:45 PM »

The guy is a friend whom I meet through a friend. Since the day he got my number he texts me every single day. He is very sweet! Sometimes we have long phone conversations but he mainly texts me pretty much all throughout the day…it’s annoying but I guess my real question should be

HOW THE ACTUAL FUK CAN I POLITELY GHOST THIS GUY WITHOUT HURTING HIS FEELINGS?

39

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Is it okay to ignore good night and good morning texts?

« on: March 18, 2022, 12:02:41 PM »

Up to you as some will say yes and some will say no depending on the individual..

Mer personally? Depends on who text me that message...

Hahaha that’s why I’m asking bc sometimes I’m like duck this shit and then I feel super bad so I keep replying and it driving me nuts plus it starting to give me anxiety lmao

40

The Single & Dating Scenes / Is it okay to ignore good night and good morning texts?

« on: March 18, 2022, 11:32:45 AM »

I have a guy friend that texts me good morning/ nights every single day and I always feel like I’m obligated to respond back every single time. (It’s been going on for months…) So I always do, but it’s becoming so annoying…and I want to politely tell him to stop but I’m scared to hurt his feelings… would you just ignore it or respond?

41

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: March 12, 2022, 10:11:13 PM »

I came home from dropping my guy friend off at the airport and came to see my ex waiting outside my house. He still have tools he had left behind. I’m not sure why he hasn’t taken everything to put into his storage unit with the rest of his other shit. Sometimes he finds excuses to come by to pick them up…but I’m too unbothered to give a shit..

My ex left the state for awhile, then decided to show up at my house without warning to “try”to terrorize me…

But…I’m no longer the same woman when he left. No longer the same person when we meet. He slowly realizing that  he’s got no control over me and is losing grip of his grasp, his clutch is slipping from my neck and he feels it.

“Why are you here?” I said as I walked right past him
“I came by to get my shit...where were you?”
“Nowhere... i went out..”
“Not what your mom said...”

I ignored him.

What these men don’t know is that I’ve just been loving my own life, living my life and doing my own things... not him, not even my guy have a say in what I choose to do with my free time.

He took his tools and left. I can sense he wanted to talk, there were hesitation in his voice but there’s nothing left to say to each other.

When he left , I just shut the door behind...witho ut a bye.

42

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: February 23, 2022, 12:16:07 PM »

***whew 
Being away makes me appreciate thing differently; and I realized even more than ever, that in the end all that matter is your own family. The one who truly have your back, who will love you no matter where you are in the world. No matter where I end up, my soul will always fly back to them. That family love has always been there…

43

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: February 17, 2022, 12:47:17 AM »

We went out to eat at this super fancy place…  towards the end of dinner he got up to go used the bathroom and bumped into one of his friends daughter…who happened to work there. Coincident? I Didn’t ask. He brought her over to introduce to me.

“Oh shit your the girl from the river…hey hi” she said excitedly as she extended her hands to shake mine, she looked at me sternly like she was studying me.
“Hey…The river??” I said confused

I immediately thought she had mistaken me for some other girl he took with them to the river. (This time was the time he ask me to come over and told me he was leaving with guy friends for a week)

After a short chat, he excused himself to go use the bathroom. I asked the girl why he mentioned the river… I noticed the girl was either nervous or overly excited!

“Oh… we all went to the river together last year and all he did was talked about a girl named Rebel… the entire time. So yeah I heard of your name at the river” she chuckled

“I’m sure he sent you pictures of us too, I saw him texting our group pics to you, like a bunch of pictures of us..”

“Yeah I did I received them…” I said with a smile

I wanted to ask him more about it when we left but the girl already told me everything I wanted know lol

That was a strange night, almost like he purposely picked that place so we can bump into each other, of all places we could of went to we drove far across town for that/ But she was surprise to see him and they exchanged numbers so it was an accident

Anyways, I was burnt out and tired that night. We got back from dinner and he put on a movie. I decided to give Him a good ass massage so he can knock himself out and leave me alone lmao.

The next morning.
“Ill call you on Sunday, drive safe home.”


——

How did we end up at a fancy restaurant when I wasn’t entirely hungry that day? Lol

Well…He went on a last minute trip without me knowing. I only knew about it the day he called me to go and pick him up at the airport. I was beyond furious that he keeps doing this. He only came home because his work needed him and he abandoned some very important projects to go hunting in the Midwest with some hill billy guys he meet at some airport… of all the people and friends that he knows, I’m the one that live the farthest from the airport and from his house yet he calls me anyways. And so I drove there half pissed and half annoyed and by the time I got to him, it was near midnight. I wanted to slap his face when I see him. I had planned to knock his teeths out too for always mother ducken leaving without telling me… makes me wonder see if he’s doing this to purposely piss me off….
But when his ass rolled out of the terminal, his face lit up when he saw me. He was scuffy but handsome as a puppy…He threw his shit in the back seat came around to the driver side and gave me a bear hug….
“I’m going to make it up to you…I owe you dinner… “ and that was how we ended up there at that restaurant.
When we got to his house that night from the airport, he realized he had left his backpack and house keys at the airport…
“I was in a ducken hurry to see you so I forgot them..oh well..”
“Don’t you ever rush yourself…”
“I’ll remember that the next time..”
He ended up breaking down a window to get us in and spent two hundred dollars the next day to have it repaired.

He is a bad boy… who does spontaneous things like this all the time. I just haven’t shared all the shit he’s made me do…

44

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: January 15, 2022, 12:17:39 AM »

Few days before Christmas…I was invited to one of my ex husbands family dinner. I declined even though I knew my ex was not going to be there. I was not in the right mind. I was going through some tough shit and I was a bit moody lol so I ignored their calls for a while….however one of their cousin came by and told me that it would be something nice because a family member had requested for me to be there. The only reason why is because they can’t contact their grandson, who at times, will vanish for long periods of time…so sometimes they keep in touch with me so they can keep tabs on him.

“Their health is slowly declining and don’t believe will make it around for another year… they want you there”  They said to me.

I always dread going to any family function on his side because it always ends up in fights and shit goes down but I always went anyways when we were still together.  I guess seeing me to them is the closet thing to seeing their grandson.

Dinner was nice. It’s the same kind of food made every holidays… nothing ever changes for years and years,  except for desserts. Nothing went down this time either and it was more of a calm type of gathering. It has been an exhausting year so nobody had no the energy left to say stuff…we all ate quietly and everyone tried to catch up to all the “life changing shit” that had happened. Mine was probably the worst!

His side of this family is the covert racist side and yes, very religious. I’m surprise they haven’t said much shit about Asians lol In front of me they act like they have mad respect even when I know they are full of shit! They are the very npab nauj type of whites. They eat southern food and some of them still live in a bubble. When you go there it’s like your in some western movie in some hick towns in the middle of nowhere. Thats bc they live in the unincorporated part of the city and they own a huge piece of land, kind off by itself. Which is rare, coming from where I’m from. Their only grandson from their only son is my ex husband. The rest are daughters, cousins, nieces and aunts etc.

When I was leaving one of the family came up to me and said, “we haven’t been in touch…. I feel like we’re strangers now.. you should call more often and come by”

“I will” I told them.

It’s sad sometimes that when a relationship ends everything around  it falls apart. Sooner or later, I just know it,  we will start drifting apart….I will call less and less and they will come around less and less… and I know that we try not to severed the ties but we all live different lives…. And lead different path in our life… it is kind of sad but it’s just a part of life!

45

Online Journal / Re: The Secret Life of a Hmong-American Woman

« on: January 06, 2022, 12:56:32 AM »

When we meet  I never wanted to let him know that he share the same birthday as my dad. My ex husbands birthday is also a day before both their birthdays. Something else I find funny is that his best friend shares the same birthday as my ex husband.

These men share one thing in common, the same mother f’n zodiac sign.

When he told me his birthday, I was double shocked and I almost chocked as I ate lol because for one, I was hoping he wasn’t a psycho like my ex and two I didn’t want the fact that he had the same birthday as my dad to influence our relationship, like in a superstitious kind of way

I finally told him on one of our drives and he was shocked and grew quite. Perhaps he thought I made the shit up but oh, he’ll find it to be the truth. Or maybe he was thinking of how weird that was…His name also sounds similar to my dads….So close, if you say his name in a Hmong ish accent, it will sound like my dads…. We used to joke about it.